#75: PILLION

STARRING Harry Melling, Alexander Skarsgård, Douglas Hodge, Lesley Sharp, Jake Shears and Anthony Welsh. Written and directed by Harry Lighton, based on the book Box Hill by Adam Mars-Jones. Running time 107.

Harry Melling is Colin, a young, lonely, gay traffic warden still living at home with his terminally-ill mum, Peggy (Lesley Sharp) and his dad, Pete (Douglas Hodge). He spends his days being verbally abused by irate motorists and his evenings enduring cringe-worthy first-dates with any gay man, Colin's mum can find in her social group. That is when he's not singing, with his brother, in their father's barber's shop quartet. Then one night Ray (Alexander Skarsgård), dressed in skin-tight bike leathers, strides into his life and Colin's life is turned upside down. Before you can, 'Can I get you a drink?' Colin's on his knees in a grotty alleyway fellating Ray and licking his boots. The next day he's a fully signed up member of the BDSM community, living alongside Ray's dog, Rosie, in Ray's spartan home, cooking, cleaning, getting his head shaved, sleeping on the floor of Ray's bedroom and being Ray's sex toy, whenever the urge grips him, and Colin couldn't be happier in his submissive role. It's a role Colin seems to have been born to play, and he soon finds himself deeply immersed in a gay biker gang BDSM club that Ray rides with. As time passes, Colin begins to feel the need for something more emotional, a non-sexual connection, maybe the chance to sleep in Ray's bed at night, or just be hugged occasionally rather than flung around like a rag doll in a bout of BDSM wrestling.  

Ray is stoic, silent and utterly mesmerising and beyond being fantastically sexual, we learn absolutely nothing about him, his past, his job, his aspirations, in fact he barely speaks. He spends his nights reading, and ordering Colin to perform anything he desires, all we learn of him is that tattooed in the middle of his chest are three names, all female and that the only living thing Ray seems to have any true affection for is his Rottweiler.

The wonderful thing about this film is that Colin's homosexuality is utterly accepted by everyone in his sphere, his co-workers, his brother and his parents, they don't care if their son is gay, it's never an issue and it's just accepted and it was quite refreshing. It's also incredibly rare to see gay sex in a mainstream movie, it's even rarer to watch two men dressed in skin-tight lycra, wrestling  on a mat before engaging in full-on sex, which to the un-initiated would seem to more akin to rape that than consenting, so welcome to the world of BDSM.

This was a fascinating cinematic experience, at times this is incredibly uncomfortable to watch, the sex seems so aggressive, so outside anything I'm used to that it's awkward to watch, but yet Colin is such an eager and willing participant to the sex that you no option but accept it as the norm. Colin wants it and boy does he get it, but what he also wants is an emotional connection, especially once his mother dies, and that's when problems begin to rise in their relationship. He asks Ray for a day where they just do normal couple things, and to share his Ray's bed, and maybe cuddle or just kiss and it's the highlight of the film. 

The performances from the two leads is mesmerising, although Harry Melling's face is a tough watch, Luckily Alexander Skarsgård isn't. Good performances, well shot and with a strong soundtrack. I might have had issues with this particular type of sex, but not with the film itself or the story at its core.

8/10

#74: NUREMBERG

 

STARRING: Russell Crowe, Rami Malek, Michael Shannon, Richard E. Grant, Leo Woodall, John Slattery, Mark O'Brien, Colin Hanks, Wrenn Schmidt and Lydia Peckham. Written and directed by James Vanderbilt. Running time 148 minutes.

Welcome to Oscar bait season. 

Based on the book, The Nazi and the Psychiatrist. The film chronicles the efforts of U.S. Army psychiatrist, Douglas Kelley (Rami Malek) to psychoanalysis and keep safe Hermann Göring (Russell Crowe) and 10 other high-ranking members of the Nazi party long enough so they can stand trial for war crimes in Nuremberg. 

The film is earnestly and seriously made and the actors, all save one, do a damn fine job, Crowe eats the cast for dinner, hence his enormous girth and give the film its true menace and power. the film starts by following Michael Shannon's Robert H. Jackson as he fights to have the War Crimes Trials set up in the first place, and then later in the third act as the leader of the prosecution, and his work with Sir David Maxwell Fyfe (Richard E. Grant) to land a conviction against Göring. The second and main thread follows Rami Malek's Douglas Kelley as he interviews Göring and the other Nazis, and his relationship with his German-born Jewish American translator and US Army solider Sgt Howie Triest (Leo Woodall). And finally in the final act the court case itself.  

This is an earnest and deeply sincere work whose only fly in the ointment is the dashing Hollywood star who's as wooden as he is stiff, Rami Malek who stands out like a massive sore thumb. While the rest of the cast easily breeze through their roles, Malik screams "LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT MY CRAFT! GOD, I'M A GREAT ACTOR!" He spends most of the time posing in doorways, or smoking, or turning around to deliver lines facing us, or dressed in a T-shirt, which feels so anachronistic for the time. He's all twitches, pouts and teeth and never feels comfortable in the role, while in complete contrast Russell Crowe just fucking smashes it like a gladiator. 

The film's course sees the preparations of the trial and Kelley's numerous interviews with Göring, then cuts to Kelley racing off for lunch with Göring's wife and daughter before racing back for more interviews, before the classic third act drama of him being dismissed from the military and sent home, but staying long enough to deliver the evidence that will convict Göring, and everyone stands and nod their approval of him. 

The trial is the most profound element of the film and the use of the actual footage from the Nazi death camps that were shown at the trial still have the unbelievable power to shock, even today.

The film has an unhurried, thoughtful and powerful feel which makes you realise how if left unchecked certain current world leaders aren't a million miles away for the horrors of Hitler and his despicable ilk.

7/10

#73: WICKED FOR GOOD

 

                                                 

STARRING: Cynthia Erivo, Ariana Grande-Butera, Jonathan Bailey, Ethan Slater, Michelle Yeoh, Jeff Goldblum. Screenplay by Winnie Holzman and Dana Fox, based on Wicked by Stephen Schwartz and the 'book' Wicked by Winnie Holzman. Directed by Jon M. Chu. Budget $150 million. Running time 137 minutes.

11 months have passed since Wicked first sung and danced its way into the collective subconscious of the world through the medium of cinema. 11 months since I gave up 160 minutes of my life to listen to one continuous song and I've not seen it since. I remember hating it with a passion until the characters got on the emerald train and travelled to the Emerald City, which is when I finally engaged with the film and where it  finally came alive. But that bit set in that hateful school filled with a bingo card of memes and stereotypes just baked my biscuits and left me seething with a deep, unending loathing for all those hideous emotionally stunted and oppressively needy twats.

Anyway, 11 months has passed, all memory erased and so I went back with my daughter, whom I saw the first with, to experience this - the second and concluding chapter.  The story set after the events of the first film sees Elphaba Thropp aka THe Wicked Witch of the West (Cynthia Erivo) waging her absolutely useless and pointless war on behalf of animal rights, meanwhile her best buddy Glinda Upland, aka Glinda the Good (Ariana Grande-latte) flies around in her big pink bubble spreading good cheer. While back in the Emerald City the Wizard of Oz (Jeff Goldblum) and Madam Morrible (Michelle Yeoh) sort of do things, like imprison the magical animals, build the yellow brick road and ban the Munchins from travelling. leaving the remaining talking animals to escape Oz for an unknown realm. Then there's Winkie prince, Fiyero Tigelaar (Jonathan Bailey) who secretly pines for Thropp but pretends to love Glinda, while Thropp's paraplegic sister Nessarose Thropp (Marissa Bode) governs Munchkinland and believes her assistant, Bog Woodsman (Ethan Slater) loves her, while he only has eyes for Glinda. Anyway, Madame Borrible gets Fiyero to ask Galinda to marry him and everyone gets ready for the big day. Meanwhile Elphaba tries to get the rest of Oz to realise the Wizard is up to no good, but he's convinced everyone that she's the one up to no good. Then Galinda convinces her that the Wizard is good and for about thirty seconds, the three agree to team up and make Oz a better place, but then the Wizard reveals he's up to no good and Elphaba gate-crashes the wedding and all hell breaks loose. Then a tornado turns up, from the original film and does what it does sending Dorothy off on an adventure and Galinda, Elphaba, Woodsman and Fiyero are forced to do something to save the day. 

Look, there's a lot going on and it's hard to sumarise the whole film in a concise manor. But the end result is there's a lot of talking, a lot of songs and a lot of emotions flying round. 

Overall I'm surprised to say I quite enjoyed this, it's mercifully shorter than the first film by 30 minutes, the production values are outstanding - the attention to detail in the costumes and the art direction are excellent. The performances, particularly from the two leads is great, including their singing. Indeed everything except for the story is utterly top notch, it's only because this film lacks any bite and the story is very floopy robs this from being a rip-roaring success. There are many questions left unanswered and to much of this is just toothless and far too gentle for the likes of me. The Wicked Witch of the West spends a considerable amount of screen time moping about the forest and committing half-arsed acts of sedition before running away following harsh words. Madam Torrible is revealled to be almost utterly powerless and despite showing some serious magical chops in the first film here is only able to sum up one tornado, and the Wizard (Goldblum) who shines isn't given enough to do and sort of drifts away from the story. 

Not remotely hateful and rather enjoyable. I didn't leave the cinema wishing everyone involved a horrible and painful death, so you know, winner, winner chicken dinner.

8/10 for the production values but only 6/10 for the lacklustre script for a final score of 7/10. 

#72: SISU: ROAD TO REVENGE

 

STARRING: Jorma Tommila, Stephen Lang and Richard Brake. Written and directed by Jalmari Helander. Budget $12.2 million. Running time 89 minutes.

Two years ago the original Sisu movie, Sisu exploded onto cinema screens in a 93 minute orgy of unrelenting uber-violence against a battalion of fleeing Nazis in the dying days of World War II. 

This one, Sisu: Road to Revenge sees our death-proof one-man-killing machine, Aatami Korpi (Jorma Tommila) the Sisu of the title, do the same thing, but this time, to the might of the Soviet Union's Red Army. 

WWII is over and our hero, Aatami, a gold-miner and Finnish ex-commando sets out in his huge truck into Soviet occupied Finland to return to his home - a log cabin. There he dismantles it log-by-log and attempts to transport it back to free Finland so he can rebuild it in honour of his family who were butchered by Red Army commander, Igor Draganov (Stephen Lang). For reasons never really explained, the Soviets unleash Draganov, who's been imprisoned in a Siberian gulag to kill Aatami by any means possible. 

To save time, I've used parts of my review of the first film, since the only thing that's changed is brand of enemy that Aatami faces, so just replace the other 'N' word with 'Soviet Conscript'. 

"What follows is a relentless and brutal battle that doesn't let up as Aatmai takes on them all on in a no-holds barred fight to the death and seemingly beyond as, with the power of Sisu, he manages to survive death at every turn, with almost supernatural power. This is savage, brutal and unrepentant. The Nazis die in violent gouts of bloody gore, and as the death toll rises so does the inventiveness of the kills." 

And that's the main problem with this film. While watching Nazi scumbags being slaughtered in ultra-violent acts of pure barbarity is always a delight, watching the same treatment ditched out to a silent army of Soviet Conscripts doesn't carry the same levity and most certainly doesn't feel justified. Watching a train's worth of young Soviet Conscripts hacked-to-death, shot-to-death, stabbed-to-death, beaten-to-death or stamped-to-death becomes an uncomfortable watch.

Stephen Lang's Igor Draganov is a very one-note character whose most used word of vocabulary is 'Fuck', or variations of. He's there to give us a showdown and the obligatory fight to the death, although his demise is one of the hi-lights of the film.

What makes this watchable is the fact it's not a Hollywood movie, because it is Finnish it has a quality, look and style that makes it engaging, the staging of the action is freed from shaky-cam and frenzied editing of its US counterparts and the added gore and blood gouts elevates this, last week's The Running Man has the same body count, more or less, but hides its shame behind a feeble 12A certificate. This comes with a full-blooded 15 certificate and rightly so. Violence shouldn't be glamourised or homogenised and this is fully unpasturised violence.

This, like the first, as moments of outrageous intentional humour and some spectacular deaths but I find that I can also reuse my summing-up of the first film with just a couple of tweaks for this one. 

"[Not as] Funny, [but just as] brutal and savage. Not everyone's cup of tea but this is every WWII film crossed with Rambo and Friday 13th with Jason Voorhees as the hero.

8/10

#71: EBIRAH: HORROR OF THE DEEP

 

STARRING: Akira Takarada, Kumi Mizuno, Chotaro Togin, Hideo Sunazuka, Haruo Nakajima and Hiroshi Sekita. Screenplay by Shinichi Sekizawa. Special effects by Sadamasa Arikawa. Directed by Jun Fukuda. Originally released in 1966. Running time 86 minutes.

This is was the first Godzilla film I ever saw, when it was shown way back in 1982 on Channel Four back when it showed eclectic movies. I'd been a fan of Godzilla for far longer, ever since I'd seen pictures in my various Octopus published books about science fiction and horror films, but this was the first time I got to see him in action and boy what a treat!

The story sees five random people drawn to a remote and mysterious island somewhere in the South Pacific, each with their own reasons, for one it's the chance to look for his lost at sea big brother, for another, an attempt to hide out following a successful bank heist, for another to escape a press-ganged slave gang, while the last two are just lug-headed friends who somehow got drawn into the whole crazy adventure. When the first four arrive on the island they find themselves hunted by a super-secret society hellbent on destroying the world and preparing to unleash atomic armageddon on an unsuspecting world. It turns out the island is the secret base of an environmental terrorist gang called: The Red Bamboo. As luck would have it again, the island just so happens to be the bedroom of Godzilla who's currently kipping under a mountain. Meanwhile off the coast lives a giant red lobster called Ebirah, who just so happens to be the Horror of the Deep and he's controlled by the Red Bamboo who use a special yellow liquid to keep it under control. Anyway, things lead to other things and before you can say, 'Oops, that wasn't very smart' Godzilla has been awoken and all hells broken loose, all culminating in the greatest film trope of all times, the activation of a self destruct mechanism that's going to sink the island, while Godzilla goes toe to claw with Ebirah. And that's before Mothra turns up late in the third act.  

What follows is 86 minutes of pure delight, an utterly guileless romp that's not ashamed for one second to be pure pantomine one second, brutal monster smackdowns the next, with elements of James Bond thrown in for good measure, and a jungle-based adventure romp! And when Godzilla and Ebirah finally get together for the first of their two massive battles the screen positively bounces from the sight of these humungous leviathans dishing out the smackdowns. The scale of the island and the ocean works well with the beasties and helps to sell the conceit perfectly. And the final utter annihilation of the island through atomic explosion in the climax is a sight to behold.

This utterly cemented my love of all things Godzilla when I first saw it all those years ago and watching it again 44 years later up on a big screen was a treat I never thought I'd get to enjoy. What an utter joyess experience, from the outrageously bonkers script and over exaggerated acting, to the peerless man-in-a-rubber-suit special effects and beautiful model work, and the bat-shit bonkers tonal shifts in story, pacing and action. Featuring four Kaiju monsters, an army of gun-crazy goons, an evil secret organisation hell-bent on destroying the world with home-made atomic weapons and the added pleasure of the Cosmo Twins, this was an utter and wonderful delight from beginning to end and I loved every single sodding second of it. 

The phrase 'They don't make films like that anymore' could not be any more truer and this film proves without a shadow of a doubt that when a man has become bored of watching another man in a rubber suit destroying scale models of cities of secret bases he is bored with life.

I love, love, loved this wonderful little film and simply cannot fault it. A note-perfect gem of a movie that should be seen on the big screen whenever possible. 

Godzilla thy name is perfection. 10/10

70: PREDATOR: BADLANDS

 

STARRING: Elle Fanning and Dimitrius Schuster-Koloamatangi. Screenplay by Patrick Aison, story by Patrick Aison and Dan Trachtenberg. Directed by Dan Trachtenberg. Budget $105 million. Running time 107 minutes. 

Well, that was a surprise. Who would have thought that the 7th entry in a series that wasn't needed should have been so goddam enjoyable. Hell, I'm not embarrassed to say that I bloody enjoyed this quite a bit. Finally, an attempt to do something different with the Predator franchise, very much like the last outing, Predator Prey. This new dollop of Predator mayhem doesn't drop popular lines from the mother-source, like: 'Get to the chopper', or 'Stick around.', or repeat popular visual tropes, instead it just tries to come up with something different and as a result is quite arguably the fourth best Predator film. Although that said, it's not exactly a high bar. And I'm including both AVP films and excluding the animated TV show.

PREDATOR (1987)
PREDATOR 2 (1990)
PREDATOR:PREY (2022)
PREDATOR: BADLANDS 
AVP (2004)
PREDATORS (2010)
THE PREDATOR (2018)
AVP 2: REQUIEM (2007)

The story sees our hero Predator, Dek (Dimitrius Schuster-Koloamatangi) cast out of his clan by his father cos he's the runt of the litter. To earn honour and respect he sets out to the planet Genna  aka 'Death Planet' there to kill the legendary Kalisk, a seemingly unstoppable apex predator who's been known to eat Predators, or Yautja as they're known in this film, for breakfast. Crash landing on Genna, Dek is quickly robbed of all his high tech weaponery and very nearly eaten by every single thing on the planet. As luck would have it, Dek stumbles across the top half of a torn-in-two Weylan-Yutani Corporation android called Thia (Elle Fanning). Dek and Thia form a partnership and set out to kill the Kalisk. Along the way the unlikely duo become a trio when they befriend a bug-eyed alien critter Thia nicknames Bud, and together they set off on a quest to kill the beastie. So far so Jabberwocky. Meanwhile Thia's old bestie, Tessa (also Fanning) who's also a Weyland-Yutani cyborg has been ordered to capture the Kalisk and she too sets out on a quest, which will bring her in direct conflict with her synthetic sister. And that's sort of the plot. 

What follows is a thoroughly enjoyable and action packed little sci-fi pic. With great effects both practical and CG and some lovely makeup. The film has a heart and the relationship between Dek and Thia gives the film it's heart and soul. There's something quite endearing about their banter and slowly the Predator begins to see the benefit of, if not a friendship, then a union of sorts. This rips along at a fair pace and features some excellent action beats. The weird thing is this didn't have to be a Predator film, cos it's only Predator in name, Dek looks so different from the usual and has been softened to make him look more human. The relationship between not just him and her is strengthened by the arrival of Bud. And it won't take a rocket scientist to work out it's relationship to the big bad beastie. 

This builds to two great showdowns, one on Genna the other back on Yautja Prime and ends with the mother of all sequel bates, if you'll pardon the expression.

Went in hoping to hate this but was won over and found myself entirely satisfied by it. One of the few films from this year I intend to buy and own, which will bring my grand total of 2025 films to three.

8/10 

69: THE RUNNING MAN

 

STARRING: Glen Powell, William H.Macy, Lee Pace, Michael Cera, Emilia Jones, Daniel Ezra, Jayme Lawson, Sean Hayes, Colman Domingo and Josh Brolin. Written by Michael Bacall and Edgar Wright. Directed by Edgar Wright. Budget $130 million. Running time 133 minutes. 

How strange in the same week two films turn up both based on original films made in 1987 and in both cases the originals directed by Paul Michael Glazer and John McTiernan were vastly superior. Although, that said both of these films, this and Predator Badlands, on which more in the next review, ain't so bad. Although of the two, this one is by far the weakest and most forgettable. 

It sees Ben Richards (Glen Powell), the Running Man of the title sign up for a brutal TV show called The Running Man that sees contestants trying to survive on the run for 30 days while they're tracked down by five hunters and the entire population of these United States of America. Ben is a good father to a very poorly daughter, and whose wife is forced to work triple shifts in a hostess bar to make ends meet. Ben been blacklisted for caring too much about his co-workers and is convinced by Josh Brolin's Dan Killian to take part in the show. And so begins the running. It's obvious that Glen is being positioned as the next Tom Cruise, whom he resembles, even if his eyes are too close together, so it's no wonder we get to see how well he runs, and run well he does. From one over the top action scene to the next in an escalating series of encounters with the show's Hunters, lead by Lee Pace. All the time, Ben is portrayed to the baying audience is the villain of the piece with no compassion for the multitude of collateral damage he leaves in his wake.

However the longer he runs the more popular he becomes and although once hated he becomes the face of a growing ground swell of rebellion that threatens to bring the establishment to its knees in fiery retribution. 

And that's in really. It's good fun, it's more satirical than the original and the sense of growing rebellion works well. Also because it doesn't have to make its lead character a super-bad-ass action hero it feels a little more grounded. Along the way Ben runs into several characters who help him run and survive until the enviable final act showdown with Gillian on live TV. 

This doesn't quite nail the ending but it's entertaining enough, although it features almost none of the glorious visual flair that Edgar Wright is known for and is rather pedestrian to be honest. That said, Powell is entertaining as the lead, and so is Michael Cera who really seems to relish the role he's given.

All that said, this won't be round for long, making a dreadful $17 million in its opening weekend, so if you want to see this on the bigscreen don't leave it too long. 

7/10