#58: INTER-STELLA!!!! TAKE 2

Starring Matthew McConaughey, Anne Hathaway, Jessica Chastain, Michael Caine, Bill Irwin, Ben Affleck, John Lithgow and Matt Damon. Music by Hans Zimmer. Written by Jonathan and Christopher Nolan, directed by Christopher Nolan. Budget $165 million. Box office takings so far $774.7 million. Running time 169 minutes long. Originally released in 2014.

INTER-STELLA!!!!!

One hundred and sixty nine minutes long! That's bum numbing and no mistake and it certainly cost this re-release several punters, but that's over shadowed by just how packed the screen was for this 12 year-old film, it's was practically packed, and since you weren't there you'll have to take my word for it. 

ANYWAY, 12 years ago I gave this 9/10 but what was my take this time round? Before I get to my reconsidered score I thought I'd share my review from that original screening. 

In the near future, although when exactly is never stated, the world is slowly dying and mankind is in danger of meekly going into the night. With dust storms sweeping the world (or atleast the US, cos let's face it, that's all the world we need to see) to the death of crops due to the 'Blight', things aren't looking all that rosey for mankind and in particular, ex NASA astronaut and engineer, widower, parent of two, Cooper (McConaughey) whose life and farm is slowly becoming entombed in the ever-encroaching sand. One day, while following mysterious magnetic signals he is lead to a secret NASA underground complex and offered the chance to pilot a mission to a universe on the other side of a newly discovered worm hole in orbit around Jupiter. That universe seems to offer a choice of 12 different planets for mankind to relocate to and our plucky, huge-headed, hero takes it like a randy sheep herder left to gaurd a flock of ridiculously attractive young spring lambs. Alas he must leave behind the one thing he loves most in the world, his young brilliantly precocious daughter, Murphy. Oh and his son, Thingie. (not me, that's actually his name.) And to make matters worse he has no idea how long he'll be gone...

What follows is a serious, intense drama that's the true definition of a Marmite experience and no mistake. Loved or loathed and not much in the middle.

It's interesting to note that in the lead up to this film, the expectations of the online film community and its ilk was insanely high and now that the film is out, most of those eager and excited film sites have laid into it with a passion, sighting each and every slight and error, berating it from the sound design to the IMAX ratio to the introduction of the battling banjo sequence during the post credit sequence and most bizarrely the physics behind the science fiction. They delight in pointing out each and everything wrong with it. The trouble is, I think they're missing the point. This is an astonishing film of great scope and superb craft, Nolan is perhaps, the finest and most technically accomplished director of his generation and I'm hard pressed to think of another director with the same scope the same ambition. He might even be the next Kubrick, or at least a Kubrick cut with a healthy dose of Speilberg.

This is a film that reminds you of previous movies, most particularly 2001: A Space Odyssey and Contact, but that isn't a negative comment it's just cut from the same cloth. It feels like a brave film to make in the 21st century and it's amazing that Nolan was able to get an industry obsessed with franchises and super-hero movies to make a one-of-a-kind science fiction flick with no chance of a sequel.

I could sit here and winge on about all the minor plot holes and petty things that niggled me but the truth is that once the film had had finished I felt awed by what I had see, touched by aspects and emotionally satisfied.

I can't remember the last time I saw a meaty, solid, adult science fiction film without a single laser gun, battle fleet or explosion, well okay, one explosion or one that so engrossed me and yet i listen to the haters and I fully understand their frustrations and I even agree with many of the nit-pickers but it didn't matter to me, I was lost in the scope of the thing. It is a spectacle that deserves to be seen. Just don't blame me if you hate it.

9/10 

So, what now 12 years later has my opinion changed, do I see through it like the Emperor's New Clothing or am I still in the thrall of the Cult of Nolan? Well, truth be told a bit of both. On one hand it's a delight to see Hollywood making these sorts of films and it laid the path for films like The Martian, Terry and Dune 1 & 2, Project: Hail Mary and even this year's  Disclosure Day. It's a poe-faced serious science fiction film without space battles, robots and all that stuff, even if it does have robots, a fight in space suits and a frantic space battle, but it's also one of those SF movies that suffers from Star Trek:TOS-itous, that of 'love' saving the day. I went into this bemused by the memory of it ending up with McConaughey in a 5-dimensional library throwing books at his young daughter but wasn't that bothered by it this time. I had more problems with the plot contriving a trip to NASA through a morse code signal, that seems a little plotty for me. That plus the massive concrete spaceship, which similarly made no sense, but beneath it all there was some good stuff here and I found my self engrossed and falling for it again. It's not perfect, there are still things I struggle with plot wise, but once the drama starts it doesn't let up and it's enthralling. Plus this time round I found Hans Zimmer soundtrack extremely effective. Overall this was still satisfying and even a little heart tugging at times. I glad I resaw it and judging by the number of people in the screening I wasn't alone. And once again, how great to see it up there on the big screen again.

This still gets a solid 9/10

#57: DISCLOSURE DAY

 

STARRING: Emily Blunt, Josh O'Connor, Colin Firth, Eve Hewson, Colman Domingo, Wyatt Russell, Henry Lloyd-Hughes and Elizabeth Marvel. Screenplay by David Koepp. Music by John Williams. Directed by Steven Spielberg. Budget $115 million. Running time 145 minutes. 

Cybersecurity expert Daniel Kellner (Josh O'Connor) is on the run with his ex-nun girlfriend Jane Blankenship (Eve Hewson) from Wardex Corp's Noah Scanlon (Colin Firth) and his private army of storm troopers and tech team. It turns out that Daniel has stolen a vast cache of UFO data and is threatening to expose it. Meanwhile Kansas City TV weather girl, Margaret Fairchild (Emily Blunt) seems to be having a nervous breakdown, when live on TV she starts talking in guttural clicks and whistles, not only that but she can talk fluently in foreign languages she couldn't speak before and she can read minds too! Anyway, these two crazy kids are on the lame and being chased by Noah and his gang of corporate thugs and desperate to meet up with Hugo Wakefield (Colman Domingo) who used to work with Noah at Wardex, that is till he defected and set up a force to combat his old boss and expose the secrets of alien visitations. 

Now, against the backdrop of an impending World War, our two plucky heroes must dodge pursuit, meet up, unlock their shared childhood traumas and somehow find out what the ruddy hell is going on!

And such is the plot of Steven Spielbergs' 37th feature film. This was a gripping and exciting science fiction thriller that starts brilliantly well and very nearly scores a perfect 10/10, but sadly an odd moment late in the third act stymied it for me, although not enough to ruin this wonderfully exhilarating film. Emily Blunt is the 100% the film's MVP, she is mesmerising, engaging and simply superb in the role of the Weather girl coming to terms with mysterious powers. Similarly, lug-eared Josh, rumoured to be in contention for the coveted role of Bond (God, I hope he doesn't get it), also delivers in the acting dept, his role, which starts as the main focus of the film, but slowly gives way to Emily Blunt as her significance becomes apparent. Also special mention to Colin Firth for once playing a villain who brings a genuine sense of sinister intent to the role.

Beautifully directed by Spielberg, that man really knows how to stage action set-pieces and how to block dialogue heavy exposition scenes. John Williams soundtrack sounds fresh and easily melts into the background becoming almost unheard and yet at the same time increasing the emotional pull of the film. A true master class in soundtracks. The script by David Koepp, from a story by Spielberg,  keeps on upping the ante and building to an almost satisfactory ending, the only fly in the ointment being the sudden and almost total disappearance of the bad guys in the final reveal. 

I thoroughly enjoyed this, scratch that, I bloody loved it and for once the payoff was compelling and profound, it's a brave director and writer who have the guts to show-and-tell, and it's pleasing to report that it doesn't let you down. Indeed, those two hours and 25 minutes flew by like an Unexplained Arial Phenomenon.

9/10

  

#56: SCARY MOVIE 6

 

STARRING: Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans, Anna Faris and Regina Hall, there are many more actors but I can't be arsed to name them. Shat out by Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans, Keenen Ivory Wayans, Craig Wayans and Rick Alverez. Directed by Michael Tiddes. Budget $30 million. Running time 96 minutes. 

This was the first Scary Movie I have ever seen and it will be the last. A more shit-stain of a film I cannot remember seeing in a very long time. I smiled twice at two 'jokes' and emitted a single 'ha' at another third joke about the film Ballerina. It is lazy, badly written, badly acted, badly directed, this not Ballerina. Although if you find the use of the 'N' word hilarious then this will be the film for you. Similarly if you like references to horror films from nine years ago then rest assured you'll be laughing yourself horse at this one. Likewise, if you find knife crime funny then oh boy are you in for a treat, it's the weapon of choice for all of the killings in the film and watching people getting stabbed to death is always funny. God. How I laughed. 

Taking references from not just horror films but also from another Wayan comedy from 2004 White Chicks, the Wayan brothers leave no stone unturned in their desperate search for something, anything, funny and they fail spectacularly, in fact they should be ashamed of what they have produced. It is grubby, ugly, and so packed full of feces that you can actually smell the stench of its achievements, it has not one ounce of merit in its far too long 96 minute running time. Long gone now the joys of the Airplane! movies that heralded the birth of the spoof film, of which this is supposedly one. Likewise gone the skill of the jokes and writing of Jim Abrahams, David Zucker and Jerry Zucker who knew how to make a spoof. This is ghastly, shouty, crass, sloppy, and utterly inept. It is one second sleazy, then unnecessarily crude, then stupid, then racist or at least reverse racist, then just shit, the jokes are all cheap and, to coin a word like Trump - shit. Actually, so shit is this piece of crap that it is nothing more than an actual visual interpretation of the Bristol Stool chart - which is a medical poster that, through the use of images shows the viewer all the different types of shit a human can produce. I wouldn't be surprised if that chart didn't get updated with the poster of this film added to the pantheon of shit types, so utterly fecal this is. 

There is nothing, not one thing good to say about this shitty, crappy, film. It is made by talentless cretins for cretins. It has nothing, not one iota, to recommend it. In fact I feel more stupid for having seen it.

This might well be the worst comedy film I have ever seen. It most certainly is the second worst film of the year, the first being Melania. A bigger bag of utter shite I cannot remember seeing, this not that, although it's a close run thing. However, my mother always said that if you have nothing good to say then say nothing. So, I'm going to end my review with one good note, one I hope will be used on the poster.

This is an actual visual interpretation of a putrid toilet bowl of overflowing excrement. 

1/10
 

#55: SAVAGE HOUSE

 

STARRING: Richard E. Grant, Claire Foy, Reginald Halifax, Dorothy Neville, Kila Lord Cassidy,  Richard McCabe, Vicki Pepperdine,  Pip Torrens and Miles Jupp. Written by Peter Glanz. Directed by Peter Glanz. Produced by Peter Glanz. Edited by Peter Glanz. Music by Peter Glanz. Oh, and also produced by Oliver Roskill, Mark Hopkins, Dylan Maranda and Phillip Thomas. Cinematography by Adriano Goldman. Running time 114 minutes. 

During a pox outbreak and Jacobite uprising, whatever that means, in 1715, hideous social climber, cheating gambler, drunk and unbridled fornicator, Sir Chauncey Savage (Richard E. Grant) and his titled wife, Lady Savage (Claire Foy) spend their days in decadent excess shagging their staff, and squandering what little remains of her family fortune. Chauncey, once a begger has somehow managed to claw his way into the aristocracy, mostly by marrying her and has no intention of going back, sadly they're down to peddling the last of her jewels and antiques trying to keep Savage House going. With creditors and swindled business men hammering at their door, the future of Savage House rests on a letter sent by the Duke and Duchess of Devonshire inviting themselves to dinner, which sets in motion a relentless string of incidents that includes murder, duels, amputations, deception, embezzlement, gout, greed, shagging, mice and surgical procedures.

In a nutshell imagine Barry Lyndon crossed with Draftsman's Contract by way of The Favourite and you'd still be no closer to whatever this is. Saved entirely by the cast, lead by the peerless coupling of Grant and Foy, whose film this is, and featuring a game cast of plucky English actors who are well up for a laff. 

Sadly, despite all that this film is a mess, with an ending so clumsy, anti-climatic and mishandled that it actually harms the film and robs it of a solid 8/10. There's just far too many plot points left unanswered, and far too many questions. Plot points arrive and lead one to imagine the film is going in one direction only for that plot point to be dropped in favour of another, and another, and another. Important incidents are hinted at and when they arrive they do so with all the drama of a dropped balloon. The film tries hard to be the next Barry Lyndon, with its use of candle lit scenes, or the pretence of, that it makes most of this look like a murky sepia stained shadow. That coupled with a truly invasive soundtrack, also by Peter Glanz that consists of the overuse of a crescendo of screening strings that drowns out the dialogue and feel more at home in a horror film, it conveys a sense of terrible foreboding and horror that just doesn't exist in this film, and is so intrusive that it pulled me out of the film entirely each time it's used, and it's used a lot.

For a long portion of the running time of the film I was fully onboard and invested but after just one too many plot misdirects and the bad ending my patience just snapped. 

I think the main problem lies exclusively in the hands of Peter Glanz, who wrote, directed, produced and edited this, as well as provided the music. And all that does it make it feel like the only voice heard on this film was Glanz, you can't help but think that if only someone else was there to say 'no' to some of his ridiculous plot points it might have made for a vastly more superior movie. 

Because there's something fantastic in this film, it's Grant and Foy, I've not seen Grant act this well in ages, and whereas he could have just reused the portrayal of Withnail, he instead opts to create an entirely new and truly unique and deeply unpleasant character in Chauncey. Likewise Foy shows some simply brilliant comedic chops and shows us she's not just the Queen. Special mention too to Jack Farthing as Chauncey's scheming man-service and valet, Reginald Halifax and Bel Powley as Lady Savage's Lady in Waiting, Dorothy Neville, who both bring some great performances. 

The thing is I bet there was a far better film that was left on the cutting room floor, because the cast are having the time of their lives and the number of forementioned undeveloped plot points.

Ultimately this gets a 7/10, but could have so easily have scored an 8 or 9 if only it had been better structured. 

#54: OBSESSION

 

STARRING: Michael Johnston, Inde Navarrette, Cooper Tomlinson, Megan Lawless and Andy Richter. Written and directed by Curry Barker. Budget $750,000. Box office to date $167 million. Running time 109 minutes.

Hollywood is in turmoil, all it's big budget epic blockblusters are crashing and burning in spectacular failure or under-performance while two little trains that can, this one, Obsession and Backrooms over performance like it's going out of fashion! In the case of the later it made 8 times it's budget in its opening weekend, while the former has so far taken $167 million off of a $750,000 budget, and that's simply astounding! Now, I'm not a huge fan of horror films, although that said I saw Weapons and Sinners last year and three so-called horror films this year, so far - Send Help, Ready or Not 2 and They Will Kill You. So, perhaps I'm warming to them again. 

So, what's the plot, Doc? Baron 'Bear' Bailey (Michael Johnston) is a nervous, pathetic, grubby wimp of a man working as a shop assistant in a music shop alongside his best friend, Ian (Cooper Tomlinson), Ian's girlfriend Sarah Harper (Megan Lawless) and Nikki Freeman (Inde Navarrette) whom Bear has a deeply felt crush for. Despite practicing asking her out, Bear chickens out when push comes to shove and she tells him she's going to quit the store and go travelling.  In desperation, Bear buys a Make a Wish novelty gift from one of those crystal and hippy shops and wishes that Nikki loves him more than anyone else in the world. Astonishingly his wish comes true and Nikki becomes horrifically and terrifyingly in love with him and his life starts to come apart at the seams as Nikki's truly obsessive love for him impacts every aspect of his life leading to a shocking display of increasing violence, death and brutal, brutal murder and a kicker of a punchline.

Written and directed by first time movie director, Curry Barker, this is a superbly unsettling, scary and vicious little horror film that just keeps upping the anti and keeping us on tender hooks. Full credit has to go to Inde Navarrette as Nikki who is simply incredible in the role. Leaping between love obsessed and frighteningly psychotic, sometimes second by second she brings a fantastic level of obsession to the role and the film works purely because of her. Far less successful is Michael Johnson as the utterly pathetic Bear Bailey who's just an utter and total pathetic waste of space. His decisions control the film and everything that happens is because of him. It doesn't help that he's such a wimp and looks like an even more wimpy Billy Crudup, nor does his lank, greasy, limp-haired topped mop of hair that sits slumped on top of his pasty and permanently sweaty face. You feel for her and hope that he gets his just deserts. Well, I'm not going to tell you here what happens, but believe me it's a doozy!

Well direction, and featuring some good cinematography, and an unsettling soundtrack filled with uncomfortable noises and sounds this was a damn fine horror film, vastly more traditional than the other blockbuster horror film Backrooms, but nevertheless deeply entertaining, oh and bloody gory!

8/10 

#53: MASTERBATORS OF THE UNIVERSE

 

STARRING: Nicholas Galitzine, Camila Mendes, Alison Brie, James Purefoy, Morena Baccarin, Jared Leto. Kirsten Wig and Idris Elba. Story by Aaron Nee, Adam Nee, Alex Litvak and Michael Finch. Screenplay by Chris Butler, Aaron and Adam Nee and David Callaham. Directed by Travis Knight. Budget $200 million. Running time an absolutely bum-numbing 140 minutes long.

Welcome to the cinematic adventures of HE/HIM-MAN, the second film to try and launch a film franchise out of the squat, plastic-muscle-bound lug. The first made in 1987 starred Dolph Lundgren as the hero and Frank Langella as Skeletor, the big bad skull-faced villian. Sadly that one was no masterpiece and so it's disappointing to reveal this ain't that much better, although its production values are vastly superior. 

The plot, and I hate to use that word for a film as lazy as this, sees our plucky hero Adam (Nicholas Galitzine) as a kid growing up in Eternia, but after Skeletor (Jared Leto) arrives with his army and lays waste to everything he's sent to Earth, along with his sword, by his mother to hide out. There 15 years pass in the blink of an eye and he grows up to be a whizz at HR but with an obsession with swords and he has this silly habit of telling everyone he meets he's from another world. Anyway he puts an ad out for the sword that's gone missing, finds it and ends up back in Eternia where he sets about defeating Skeletor. 

That's the plot. Original and radical it's not. Slow, ponderous and dull it is. Not only does this He/Him-Man have to put up with everyone dissing and mocking him both on Earth and Eternia, he's also got an excruciating annoying girl boss, Teela (Camila Mendes) the adoptive daughter of Man-at-Arms, Duncan (Idris Elba) who bosses him round, mocks him, and generally denigrates him and her now alcoholic father, plus he's the classic Woke Princess eager to resolve every confrontation by talking out his feelings, trouble is in this world, all that gets you is punched repeatedly in the face. As is the way with these sorts of films, Adam finally gets the sword and speaks the immortal words - "I have the power" and is finally transformed at the midway mark and then proceeds to beat the living shit out of everyone until he's captured at the end of Act 2 and loses his power and sword leading to the final showdown with Skeletor and one last valuable life lesson learned. 

This film has a strong streak of irony and humour at its core and its tongue firmly wedged in its cheek, but sadly not enough to save it. Not knowing if this is for a new generation of kids or the parents of said kids, the film is far too violent for its own good and both villains and heroes, or innocent bystanders get brutally murdered for a vast majority of this film, people get stabbed to death, crushed, shot or blasted to atoms every few minutes and just because it's all bloodless and consequence free doesn't make it sit any better. 

Tonally it bounces from humour to torture and violence like a pingpong ball and it's uncomfortable. There's plenty of humour mostly aimed at mocking He/Him-Man and that pales quickly. Looking vastly better than Mandy Lorean Groin Goo this at least looks the part and makes a convincing alien planet. Trouble is most of it is a pixelated blur of excess. 

I was struck by just how violent this was and wouldn't have felt comfortable if my boy had seen this when he was 8, which you'd assume was the target audience. 

Plot wise this is a terrible film, there's a ridiculouos scene in the end of the second act that sees He/Him-Boy reconnecting with this father, whose been Skeletor's prisoner for 15 years. He's buried in an avalanche of debris following a fight between the hero and villian and for a good five minutes, He/Him-Man and his dying dad have a long chat while Skeletor just stands there doing absolutely nothing. And in the dying seconds of the film you suddenly realise that Skeletor has no gameplan, no arc and no reason for existing other than to prove something for He/Him-Man to beat to death in the final boss fight portion of the film.

Every now and then it raises a titter of laughter but it's a real shame this film didn't just embrace the notion of He-Man and just launch into a rollicking adventure without shoe-horning in a visit to Earth and a hero reduced to a touchy-feelie emotionally fragile woke princess. 

Plus it's bloody long, which doesn't help. Still the effects are good, the make up great, Jared Leto as Skeletor is terrific and because he's buried beneath all that make up you don't need to see his face, and naturally Idris Elba deserves so much better. 

5/10 

#52 & 57: BACKROOMS (2ND TAKE)

STARRING: Chiwetel Ejiofor, Renate Reinsve, Mark Duplass, Fin Bennett and Lukita Maxwell. Written by Will Soodik. Music by Edo Van Breemen and Kane Parsons. Directed by Kane Parsons. Budget $10 million. Running time 110 minutes.

Kane Parsons was only 19 when he directed this feature film of his YouTube series Backrooms. I've never seen those so I don't know how much like this film they are. That said, if they're anything like this film, I'm going to watch them all. 

Hands down one of the best films of the year so far. Deeply unsettling, deeply deeply unsettling. It's like sliding a needle under the skin in the top of your hand and gradually loosening the skin, this gnaws at you and grates, it uncomfortable and deeply chilling, the music niggles, the look and the feel scratch at your psyche and the overall feel is that of a 1970s horror film directed by David Cronenberg, or Romero. It has that visual feel. It feels small, personal and everso slightly amateurish, but that's not meant as an insult. God, no, far from it. it's a compliment. 

The story sees wannabe failed architect and newly divorced furniture shop owner, Clark (Chiwetel Ejiofor) seeking help from therapist Dr. Mary Kine (Renate reinsve) for his depression, while said therapist struggles with her traumatic childhood as the daughter of a mentally disturbed agoraphobic mother. With his furniture shop failing and at his wits end, Clark makes an unusual discovery in the basement of his shop of a portal to secret mysterious underground complex of rooms, corridors and doors he calls 'the Backrooms', which are populated by hideously deformed beings and unsettling vistas of half buried furniture or bad 5th generation copies of people and objects. Meanwhile a private corporate is attempting to map the changing geography of the said underground complex but keep losing operatives to something that haunts the endless rooms and corridors. 

Nothing can quite prepare you for this bizarre and fantastically creepy film and I wouldn't dare try to explain more than what I have, it's far better you go in blind to see this. You'll thank me after. There are things you'll see in this that will stay with you and haunt your dreams. The film a mixture of found footage interspersed and standard film as both Clark and Mary share the lead focus, first we follow Clark and he makes his startling discovery and begins to explore with two young members of his staff, and then picks up with Mary when Clark suddenly vanishes one day after he tells her of his discovery and she goes to explore the shop.

The visual style of a look of this film is superb and really feels like those for-mentioned 1970s horror maestros, which coupled with the ever presence sound of faint machinery or whispered voices or uncomfortable music all combine to make this a fantastically compelling and scary horror film that relies on a overwhelming building of dread over gore or jump cuts. I found myself sitting with a fixed grin desperately trying to work out what the heck was going on. 

In the end, the film just about nails its landing, but leaves you, as you'd expect from a film like this, with more questions than answers, but that's not a bad thing in this case. This like Exit 8 another film about liminal spaces, is all about the journey. I doubt that as good as Kane Parsons is that he has any idea at to what is behind all the weirdness in Backrooms that would satisfy us all, but regardless what he shows us is more than enough. You'll leave hoping for a sequel but you know if they do they'll end up creating an unwieldy backstory or pouring on too much lore, or fluffing the landing like Lost. As it is this ends with a final shot that is both compelling and very creepy. 

See it on the big screen, if you dare.

9/10

Just came back from seeing this for the second time with Baxter. For me I remain blown away by it, a film viewed second time round can often show up flaws and faults, like Die Another Day which felt like a trainwreck second time round. Not so this. By god it's utterly engrossing, you find yourself exploring the rooms the angles, trying to pick up clues and hints and they're there if you look. It's a superbly constructed film and it had an unusual effect upon me, walking home we became aware of the architecture and shapes of buildings and roofs, some glimpsed through bridge arches or odd angles, and you begin to fear that we might already be living in a liminal space.

Really can't fault this puppy, a truly unique, unsettling and un-nerving horror film that offers up something altogether sinister and new. See it before it's gone. 

9/10 (still and deservedly so.)