#82: AVATAR: FIRE AND ASH

STARRING: Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldana, Sigourney Weaver, Stephen Lang, Kate Winslet, Jack Champion, Oona Chaplin, Jermaine Clement, Giovanni Ribisi, David Thewlis and Britain Dalton, plus loads more, too many to mention. Screenplay by James Cameron, Rick Jaffa and Amanda Silver, produced by James Cameron and Jon Landau, directed by James Cameron. Budget $400 million. Running time 197 minutes long. 

it's been three years since the last one of these, but Cameron's not giving us a recap, no siree it's straight into action with this one, no messing about. And so begins the third installment of James P.'Sully' Sullivan's adventures on Pandora, a big planet full of giant blue humanoids called the Na'vi in a galaxy far far away, but very much in the future. James used to be human, well he was in the first film. In that he was the twin brother of bloke who died and James was hired to 'drive' his giant blue avatar for a mining corporation run by Giovanni Ribisi who were mining for Unobtainium. In the second film it was the spinal fluid of giant whales and so it is in this one. In the first film Sully lead a revoltion that saw the humans kicked off planet. In the second one the humans came back, bigger, badder and more weaponed up. And in this one they're even more bigger, badder and weaponed up. This time, they ain't taking prisoners or shit off anyone, least of all Sully, his extended family and all the peace and environment loving sea-side people of Panty Doreen. And once again it's Sully mother-fucking useless family of idiotic children who are running the show, mainly by keep getting abducted by Stephen Lang's big blue baddy. So Sully goes off with a bunch of the Na'vi who fly enslaved gas filled sentient balloon, that is until a branch of Na'vis called the MonkeyWang Tribe, lead by a very angry red faced Na'vi played by Oona Chaplin, who kill everybody. Then there's a series of big action set pieces interspersed by Sully's children not doing what they're told so as to endanger themselves and the vast tribe of people, so then Sully has to get himself captured to elicit their rescue before the dastardly humans mount an enormous attack on the big whale things and Sully, and his deeply annoying family rally everyone round for one mother-fucking battle to end all battles. Into that massive plot boiling pot add the relationship between Spider - the human kid living with the Na' vi and his dad played Stephen Lang, then there's Sigourney Weaver's clone Na' vi to deal with, oh and the slow deterioration of Sully and his wife's marriage, her almost uncontrollable racism aimed at Spider and humans. Look there's lots of secondary guff to deal with ontop of all the action, and shit. There's also a fantastic rescue mission that ranks right up there with Return of the Jedi in its staggering stupid complexity, when three completely separate parties all simultaneously attempt to rescue Sully on the eve of his public execution. And Cameron, so enamoured with this idea does the exact same thing later on when three completely separate parties all simultaneously attempt to rescue another character in a rapidly sinking battleship (something the keen eyed among you might remember from the last Avatar outing). Actually there's quite a lot of call backs to the last film in terms of plot points and motivations.

Anyway, the story is pretty dreary to be honest, it's stupid and only works because it requires stupid people to do stupid things to make the whole stupid plot work. And yet at its core there are some very interesting dynamics taking place, mostly involving Stephen Lang and his estranged son, which sadly never get completely or satisfactorily explored. Oona Chaplins villainess character is the MVP in this whole bloated affair, giving us a truly red-blooded villain to root for, and boy did I root for her. I might be alone but I really wanted her to win. I'm frankly sick to death with Sully and his whole sodding family, a bunch of whiney bitches to a T, that is when they're not moping around endangering everyone with their stupid decisions. 

I was also struck by just how callous the Na'vi are to their enslaved animal livestock, several times those glorious winged creatures are just left to die, you know those creatures the Na'vi mindmeld with through their hideous rat-tails. it seems that once their of no more use the Na'vi are quite content to leave them to die pierced by multiple arrows. There's also a bewildering sequence where a poor floating creature, which is harnessed to a rapidly burning sentient balloon is left to die horribly, rather than be rescued by one of the Sully's children.

Anyway, as with the previous films the plot and story is lamentable, too much reliance of co-incidence and idiotic behaviour, but the visuals are another matter all together. Frankly the sheer visual excellence of this cannot be over stressed, it is truly breathtaking that this whole world(s) exist only in a computer and built with pixels. But the trouble is, third time round and the wonder and awe are such a given that you forget. Also, give the 3D a miss, fucking waste of time. Just watch it in 2D on the biggest screen you can. 

Can't say I hated this, can't say I loved it. Once again I was awed by the sheer spectacle and somewhat bored by the story. The final battle is incredible but the lack of a satisfying conclusion was deeply annoying. Three characters disappear completely and the question of the humans remains utterly unanswered. I was kinda hoping this would be the end of the three film saga and that the rumoured 4th and 5th parts might be something new, but no, I'm guessing we're going to have to conclude this one properly. 

Visually a masterpiece worthy of a 10/10, but plot and story warrant only a paltry 5 giving this an aggregate score of 7/10  

 

#81: ELLA MCCAY

 

STARRING: Emma Mackey, Jamie Lee Curtis Jack Lowden, Kumail Nanjiani, Ayo Edebiri, Spike Fearn, Julie Kavner, Rebecca Hall, Woody Harrelson and James L. Brooks. Produced, written and directed by James L. Brooks, theme tune sung by James L. Brooks. Budget $35 million. Running time 115 minutes. 

So each minute of this film cost $304,347 and 83 cents to make. If I were the backers I'd be asking for an itemised receipt. 

It's 2008 and 34-year old Ella McCay (Emma Mackey) a fiesty, enthusiastic, sharp as a tack, bright as a spark lieutenant governor of an unnamed state somewhere in those wonderful United States of America, and of no particular political affiliation,  one day becomes acting Governor when her boss, Governor Bill Moore (Albert L. Brooks) gets promoted to the White House Cabinet and resigns. He warns her that she has just 14 months until the election and to make the most of it. Ella, it turns out, is a dreamer and amazingly has a dream of passing a wonderful bill aimed at mothers and babies and the film charts her spectacular three-day rise and fall. Along the way we flashback to the break up of her parents (Rebecca Hall and Woody Harrelson), meet her surrogate mother and actual aunt, Hellen (Jamie Lee Curtis), her feckless husband Ryan Newell (Jack Lowden), her acrophobic and on the spectrum brother, Casey (Spike Fearn) and her octogenarian personal secretary Estelle (Julie Kavner).

This is one of those films where every man, be it Ella's father, brother, husband or boss are if not total shits, then very close to the edge shits, with only her ex-boss (James L. Brooks) showing even the vaguest of hints of being a decent person. 

With a great cast and hmm, great locations, and a not half bad premise this certainly on paper seemed like a good bet, but the proof is in the eating and this eats like a rancid apple pie, sickly sweet and limp. The problem is there's too much happening and no time is spent getting to know Ella before another middling disaster rears its ugly head, we're told she's liked but hated because she cares too much and her speeches are too long. She's dealing with a father whose extramarital activities ultimately lead to the death of her mother and estranged them, her brother is a shut-in with enough emotional baggage to sink a ship, and her husband, who at first seems like a loyal and supportive kinda of a chap soon turns out to be the absolute worst and the main villain of the piece, as he tries to secure power for himself off his wife's relentless work, and if that means lying, cheating and framing her, so much the better. It's no wonder Ella's aunt warned her he was a ticking timebomb.  

There's just so much going on here that you can never really get a handle on it, it moves like Dominic Toretto and its sickly sweet core begins to grate well before the ending finally skids into view. It's the sort of film that if made in the 1940s and starring Donna Reed, or Betty Davis would have been a charming, scatty screwball comedy, but in the hands of the usually dependable James L. Brooks, is reduced to a rather boring and instantly forgettable romcom without any rom and defo no com. 

Hats off to Jamie Lee Curtis, who delivers a solid performance and a sad pat on the back to Woody Harrelson who is soundly missused in this. The trailer made this out to be a witty, funny comedy about complicated lives. But in the end it's already, blissfully, slipping from my memory. 

4/10    

#80: THE SHINING

                    

STARRING: Jack Nicholson, Shelley Duvall, Danny Lloyd, Scatman Crothers, Barry Nelson, Joe Turkel, Philip Stone and Lisa & Louise Burns. Screenplay by Stanley Kubrick and Diane Johnson. Cinematography John Alcott, music by Wendy Carlos and Rachel Elkind. Directed by Stanley Kubrick. Budget $19 million. Running time 143 minutes. Originally released in October 1980.

A wannabe writer, Jack Torrance (Jack Nicholson) accepts a five-month job as the out-of-season winter caretaker of the Overlook Hotel situated deep in mountains of Colorado. There he takes his wife Wendy (Shelley Duvall) and their son Danny 'Doc' (Danny Lloyd), Jack's looking forward to working on his great American novel (once he can think of something to write about), Wendy's looking to spend quality time with her family and trying to keep her husband's barely concealed rage in check, and little Danny just wants to eat P&J white-bread-sandwiches, watch cartoons and play with his firetruck. The last thing he wants is to be chased round a giant hotel by an axe-weilding maniac who just so happens to be his dad. However, shit gets real when they become snowbound and Jack promptly goes mad. Whether it's the isolation, the hotel's ghostly inhabitants, or his deeply annoying family who drive him there is anyone's guess, although my money's on wife and kid, no one wants that sort of emotional anchor when you're trying to be creative. They just drag you down!

This marks the film's 45th anniversary, although time has not dulled it one iota, it still looks mostly as fresh today as it did back then, only the costumes looks a tad outta wack.

This one surely polarises people who've seen it, me I fucking love it. Frankly it's one of the most unsettling and uncomfortable films I've ever seen, and god knows I've seen it a lot. This time round it's the full-length version, all 143 minutes, which I've only ever seen on Blu Ray. So it's sudden arrival at my Cineworld made for the best pre-Christmas gift E-VER!

There's been a lot written about this film, about its deeper hidden meaning, it's social interpretations and the such and it's staggering just how much utter guff has been written about it, from theories claiming it an 'allegory of American imperialism.' that it addresses 'topics of toxic masculinity, sexism, corporate America and racism', some read it as an 'Oedipal struggle not just between generations but between Jack's culture of the written word and Danny's culture of images' while other talk about it being a 'metaphor for the genocide of Native Americans', or that it contains a subtext about the holocaust. None of this is true, those elements people claim were always there, but just not labeled, Jack is clearly a wife abuser and we know he physically abused his son, but that doesn't make this film a study of toxic masculinity or sexism, it's just who Jack is. 

I once went to a Fortean Times Convention back in the 1990s and remember a talk by a small group of people who had tracked a hidden network of leylines between standing stones that crisscrossed the United Kingdom and I realised that if you want to find evidence of something you believe in you will. The Shining is the perfect example of that, because it allows every crackpot out there to 'discover' the truth or hidden agenda in the film, and it does that by being extraordinary empty to such an extent that people need to fill the voids. Kubrick isn't interested in all that, he set out to make the best horror film ever made and he did. In the same way he set out to make the best science fiction film of all times in 2001: A Space Odyssey. In The Shining it's clear that he sat down and deconstructed the horror film, learning all it's tropes and tricks, then threw them out and started from scratch. And in doing so he made one of the scariest films of all times. It's a film that's lost none of its power. 

He focused on a small group of characters trapped in a single location, a classic horror trope, and in the Overlook hotel Kubrick created not only a location that seems alive. Those miles of corridor, the cavernous ballrooms, the blood red bathrooms, the tapestries, the carpets, the rugs, the bizarre geometry the Overlook feels and looks so alive you'd want to visit in the real life. 

Added to that is the otherworldliness of the story, is Jack bedevilled by supernatural powers or by mental breakdown? I believe it's the former, although the later is needed for it to work. And that last slow shot into the photo of the 1921 Independence party with Jack front and centre, which some theories claim means that Jack is original Grady, once again I don't, all I think it means is that Jack has now become apart of the Overlook, lost in some distant past awaiting his opportunity to serve his master.

To add more tension, he had a music landscape created by Wendy Carlos that is deeply unsettling, it just helps to up the tension and the paranoia, the whole film is designed to get under your skin, the sharp sound effects, the roar of the Danny's bike's wheels across rug and floor, the silence of the slumbering hotel, coupled with unsettling flashes of the supernatural, the wall of blood the haunting "Hello Danny, come and play with us." all it helps to build an overwhelming sense of jeopardy and impending disaster. And at its centre Jack Nicholson's Jack Torrance. Watching him come apart at the seams is a masterclass in acting and I don't think Nicholson has ever been more handsome or more terrifying. 

As to the film's true meaning, that's simple.

It's a film about writer's block. Jack is one of those wannabe writers, he'll tell anyone he meets he's an 'author', it's probably what bagged him Wendy back in the first place. But truth is, he's not a writer he just dreams of being one. His home in Boulder is strewn with thin paper backs, westerns, and the kind scattered randomly around the apartment, but the thing is these aren't the books of a true writer, just a failed one or a wannabe. One who spends more time telling everyone who'll listen that he's a writer, that he's just waiting for the right time to write, and so when the Overlook job comes up he deludes himself into thinking this is the answer to his prayers, the perfect opportunity to write and off he goes. Trouble is once he's there he has no more excuses as to why he's not writing. Wendy asks him how's it going and he says he's been thinking about a couple of ideas but nothing working just yet. Once again, bullshit! He's run out of excuses as to why he's not writing. Truth is he can't, he was never a writer, he was someone who loved the idea of it, but not the hard work. When he's sat at that goddam typewriter with the blank sheet of paper he's utterly lost and to keep his wife off the scent he starts typing, probably as a joke at first, "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." In his head, he's doing this until the 'story' arrives, trouble is it never will. And finally when his deceit is discovered he lashes out at his family blaming them for his inability. And that's my take on The Shining. All that other stuff about ghosts and spirits, that's just all his rejected ideas that he couldn't make work.

Anyway, enough guff. the score as if you needed telling is without a doubt.

10/10

#79 FACKHAM HALL

 

STARRING: Thomasin McKenzie, Ben Radcliffe, Katherine Waterston, Emma Laird, Tom Goodman-Hill, Anna Maxwell Martin, Sue Johnston, Tom Felton and Damian Lewis. Written by Steve Dawson, Andrew Dawson, Tim Inman, Jimmy Carr and Patrick Carr. Directed by Jim O'Hanlon. Running time 97 minutes.

It's all happening at Fackham Hall, the inbred toffs upstairs are dimmer than 40 watt lightbulbs, the staff downstairs aren't that much better. There's stupid gags aplenty and an endless stream of sight gags, the jokes, japes and puns that come thicker than custard and at such a rate that if one doesn't land, then don't worry there'll be another along in the minute. 

One thing's for certain, it's not big, it's not clever and it most certainly isn't sophisticated. Parodying Downtown Abby, Bridesend Revisited, Upstairs, Downstairs and the Forthsyth Saga this is a silly enough romp. It made me laugh, along with my daughter and wife, but not so my Woke Princess son who sat stony faced throughout it all, head in hand, boy was he not impressed. He starred at me at the conclusion of the film with a look akin to deep and unhappy  disappointment. This sort of humor is most certainly not for whatever generation those born in 2003 are. But for those amongst you who like the comedy stylings of Jimmy Carr then be prepared to have an amusing night out. 

6/10

#78: DIE HARD

Starring Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman, Bonnie Bedelia. Written by Jeb Stuart and Steven E. de Souza. Directed by John McTiernan. Budget $35 million. Running time 132 minutes. Originally released in 1988.

New York cop, John McClane (Bruce Willis) arrives in Los Angeles on the literal eve of Christmas to spend the holidays with his estranged wife, Holly (Bonne Bedelia) and young family. Chauffeured to the Nakatomi building, McClane arrives in the middle of a joint Christmas/business celebration only to become right man in the wrong place and time when an army of highly deadly and well equipped Euro-trash terrorists, lead by Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman) hi-jack the office Christmas Party as a cover for stealing 600 million dollars worth of bearer bonds, not realising that one of the guests is actually a NYPD cop...

What follows is a masterclass in action cinema, and quite frankly one of the best action films ever filmed, it's certainly in my top ten all time favourite films.

It's the film that made and established Bruce Willis, introduced the world to Alan Rickman and cemented John McTiernan as one of the best action directors. it also changed the shape of action films and created a template that's still in use to this day. The imagined conversation in Hollywood about pitching a film to a producer, "so, what's it about?' And the writer firing back, "It's Die Hard on a boat!". It's become a part of the cinematic lexicon.

I've always loved this movie, and last saw it on the big screen back in 2023, oddly enough I saw it back then with It's a Wonderful Life, which is the next film I saw. Seeing 'it', Die Hard on the big screen again is always a delightful experience, films need to be seen on the big screen, where you lose yourself in the experience in a way you don't at home. You seen things you miss on a small screen. Willis cared back then and it shows, Rickman is simply superb in his breakout role as the leader of the gang of ex-terrorists, Hans Gruber and the movie gave Robert Davi a brief golden period in his career, leading to the role of the villain, Franz Sanchez, in the Bond film Licence to Kill.

This is a glorious action film that has no need for shaky cam or frenzied editing to convey drama, it's got an endlessly quotable script and it's well plotted and has no flabby centre, the way it sets up the scenario and introduces the villains is a masterclass in plotting. That coupled with good practical effects, some nifty compositing and a 15 cert for bloody violence, plus bare breasts makes it one of my top ten favourite films!

10/10 Quiz time. 1. How many 'terrorists' survive the attack? 2. Several other action actors and characters are referenced by John McClane, how many and who? 3. What day does 'Die Hard' take place on? 4. How many years has McClane been a NYPD cop?

#77: ETERNITY

STARRING by Miles Teller, Elizabeth Olsen, Callum Turner, John Early, Olga Merediz and Da'Vine Joy Randolph. Written by Pat Cunnane and David Freyne. Directed by David Freyne. Budget $8 million.  Running time 114 mintues.

80-something couple Joan Cutler (Betty Buckley) and her husband of 63years are attending a gender reveal party when Larry Cutler (Barry Primus) chokes to death on a pretzel and wakes up as Miles Teller in the afterlife. There he's asked to choose which eternity he'd like to have and the choice is limitless, Broland, Winecountry, or even Beachworld to name a few, but instead and much to the chargin of his Afterlife Coordinator, Anna (Da'Vine Joy Randolph) Larry refuses to choose announcing he's going to wait for his wife, Joan (Elizabeth Olsen) to arrive. Luckily a week later she passes away too and they're reunited. And then Joan's first husband, Luke (Callum Turner) a Naval pilot who died in the Korean war walks up, it turns out that he too has been waiting for 67 years for her to arrive and Joan finds herself in an impossible dilemma, which man will she choose to spend eternity with, or does she wish to go it alone? However there is a fly in the ointment. Once an Eternity has been choosen, you can never leave it, if you do you'll be hunted down like Logan's Run and exiled into the void. SO, choose wisely...

And that's the plot. What follows is an utterly glorious and wonderful romantic comedy that will have you laughing and crying in equal measure, it feels like a classic Hollywood Screwball Comedy, or those comedies that used to star Doris Day and Rock Hudson. The script is witty, and funny, fast paced and romantic, it explores not just the relationship between Joan and her two husbands, but also the growing relationship between the two husbands and also the relationship between the two Afterlife Coordinators assigned to cases, Anna and Ryan (John Early). Added to the mix is Karen (Olga Merediz) the life-long friend of Joan who knew both men. 

The production design is superb, the portrayal of the afterlife, seen as a infinity-sized railway arrival hall sat side-by-side with to a huge trade convention offering afterlife opportunities, is great and packed full of wonderful sight gags. The tone is upbeat and light but that never drowns the emotional core. This is a film that explores love and relationships and it's a real treat. But this isn't all fluff, there's a visit to the memory archive, where people can relive their lives, that offers a sombre note to the proceedings. 

This felt like a throw-back to a bygone time, the script never preaches, there's no hidden agenda or messaging trying to piggyback the ride, just the story of a woman trying to choose which husband to spend an eternity with. It's witty, funny, clever and utterly enjoyable and the running time of 114 minutes flew by. Catch it before it's lost for all eternity. 

9/10

I have this theory that Hollywood like to replace old movie stars with new, Brad Pitt was the new Robert Redford, Arnie was Victor Mature, Mel Gibson the new Rod Taylor and after this I can announce that Miles Teller is the new Rock Hudson.

#76: KILL BILL THE WHOLE BLOODY AFFAIR

 

STARRING: Uma Thurman, Lucy Liu, Vivica A. Fox, Daryl Hannah, Michael Madsen, Sonny Chiba, Julie Dreyfus, Chiaki Kuriyama, Gordon Liu, Michael Parks and David Carradine. Written and directed by Quentin Tarantino. Budget $60 million. Running time 275 minutes, or four and a half hours.

Heavily pregnant assassin and the 'most dangerous woman in the world' Beatrix 'The Bride' Kiddo aka Black Mamba (Uma Thurman) is beaten half-to-death, shot in the head and left for dead during her wedding dress rehearsal by members of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad (of which she was a member) and her mentor and lover the eponymous Bill (David Carradine). Four years later she awakens from a coma to find herself robbed of the child she was carrying and embarks on a bloody trail of revenge against the two men and four women who tried to kill her. The film told in chapters and chronologically out of order charts her battles against O-Ren Ishii- Cottonmouth (Lucy Liu), Vernita Green - Copperhead (Vicica A. Fox), Ellie Driver - California Mountain Snake (Daryl Hannah) and Budd - Sidwinder (Michael Madsen) until the final showdown with Bill himself. 

What follows is 275 minutes of pure cinematic genius, a glorious movie, one that now presented as a whole and not as two films released a year apart is a note perfect triumph, made by one of the last great auteurs of the cinema, Quentin Tarantino.

Originally released back in 2003 for Kill Bill films and 2004 for the second part, it's only now as a whole that Tarantino's vision can be experienced as he truly intended and what an astonishing visual feast it is! Seeing both together elevates both films to something close to perfection. The original Kill Bill was hailed by all, while the second film felt flat in comparison. Seen now as a whole,  slightly tweaked, with added sequences, an extended anime interlude and the original 'cliffhanger' removed, the journey of The Bride becomes an utterly absorbing experience, and the 275 minutes seemed to fly by, I found myself grinning for the entire running time, sucked in completely and fully engaged, to see this write large, in 35mm up on the big screen helped to complete the illusion. The music, handpicked by Tarantino fits perfectly, the acting peerless, David Carradine was never better, likewise Michael Parks playing two roles was sublime, as was Michael Madsen, not to mention either Thurman, Hannah or Liu, all of whom were superb! The look and cinematography gave this film its own unique and almost tactile feel. the cinematography by Robert Richardson has to take a special mention too, the colours, so rich and sumptuous. And whereas the original Kill Bill 2 seemed a tad wordy and talky, here as a whole the two halves compliment each other and help to create one of the greatest films of this century, so far. The script by Tarantino is filled with quote-worthy lines and some truly beautifully written scenes. He really was never better than with this and whereas i still really enjoy his films, this is the one I love beyond measure. The action so expertly shot and now presented in all its uncut gory glory is astounding. No need for shaky cam or frantic editing, here everything is in shot and choreographed by a stunt team of utter legends. GODDAM IT! I have to stop, I have nothing bad about this film! 

There are some people who do not like Tarantino the man, or his works who will call Kill Bill ploddy and boring, or all style over content, but to those people I will say that not only are you wrong, but your opinion is also utterly without merit and completely wrong. We should count ourselves lucky to live in a world where Tarantino can create unique, original works that confound our expectations.

Drop everything and go and see this on the big screen as soon as you can. I cannot think of a single thing I did not like about the film, it truly was one of those extremely rare cinematic occurrences, a note-perfect, cinematic triumph that will go down in history as one of the best films of all-times. 

A total stone-cold 10/10.