TENET

 

Written and Directed by Christopher Nolan. Starring John David Washington, Robert Pattinson, Elizabeth Debecki and Kenneth Branagh. Running time 150 minutes. Budget $225 million.

 

I saw Tenet last Wednesday, or as we call it in our house, Tenet. We prefer to spell it backwards. It's taken me this long to arrive at an opinion about it. This film has a lot riding on its shoulders, namely the rebirth of the British cinema laid low by Covid-19. And my local 12 screen cinema put this on in each of its 12 screens in an attempt to tempt us all back.

I went in knowing nothing beyond the trailer and I can't remember the last time I went into a $225 million film almost blind and it made for an exciting change, so if you've not seen it, or know nothing about it then please don't read this review just go and see this film blind, cos you'll never have this opportunity again.

However if you still want to read my review then here it is. This is a spoiler free review.

 

 

SPOILER ALERT. 

 

Amazingly, for a film about time travel that takes place in the past, present and future simultaneously the plot is simplicity itself. Two spies, John David Washington and Robert Pattinson, working for an undisclosed agency race, against time itself to prevent Russian baddy, Sator, as played by Kenny Branagh, from doing something very nefarious. And that's it in a nutshell, or llehstun if you'd prefer.

Directed by Nolan, who because of his gender was not allowed to join his sister's band, and instead became an impressive film maker, with some absolutely stunning films to his credit including, Batty Begins, Inception, Memento, The Prestige, Dunkirk and Interstellar (as long as you stop watching before Matthew starts knocking books off his shelf).

 

As with all of Nolan's films, this one is beautifully staged, well-directed and plot-wise complex beyond belief. Indeed after a while, I just stopped trying to understand what in god's name was going on and just slumped back in my seat and let it all just wash over me, which is probably for the best because for the life of me I'm left the cinema two-and-a-half-years later with more unanswered questions than I went in with, like why is it called 'Tenet'?

This is a long film waddling in at a bladder-busting 150 minutes, and follows a tried, tested and very sensible story structure of: ACTION! Exposition. ACTION! Exposition. ACTION! etc until the end. It opens with a stunning and relentless action sequence set in an opera house, which because everyone (except the audience) is wearing full-body armour, makes following the story impossible and ends with a bizarre rail-yard sequence, which leaves much unexplained and so far, so the trailer.

Indeed, if all you have to go on is the trailer you soon find yourself mentally checking off all the beats you've already seen hoping they will help you make sense of this, but shortly afterwards, you realise the trailer footage is gone and you're on your own. Good luck.
 

Anyhoo, after the exhilarating opening we get to meet our hero properly as played by John David Washington. His character, our lead has no name, he ain't got time for names, there's a baddy to stop.  He's one of those characters who knows far more about what's going on than the audience and refuses to let us in on the secret thus forcing the audience into the role of voyeur. He has almost zero chemistry with the other characters and the only thing you ever think about him is 'gosh, how short is he?' Now maybe he's not that short, maybe everyone else is taller! These are the sort of questions that run through your mind as you watch this, given as you aren't allowed to know anything.

 

Inbetween the plot exposition, Nolan wedges a series of impressive action sequences, all mounted 'in camera' and each designed to 'out-Nolan' the last one, building to a mind-boggling finale that will leave you shaken and stirred. Sadly, however, because there's no absolutely no emotional engagement with our heroes, there's also no sense of jeopardy or drama, we know who will live and who will die. There is also one action sequence that is so mind-bogglingly impressive to both stage and watch that Nolan, clearly impressed revisits it not once but three times, just so we can marvel at his awesomeness.

Also this film seems to have no time to spare for introspection or to allow the audience to catch its collective breath, which is surprising given its running time. We are never allowed a moment to ponder or learn about our hero, nor are we ever sure as to which agency he is working for, why, or under what parameters? This is a shame because Bond's visits to MI6 were often the most enjoyable scenes of the Bond films this clearly doffs its cap to.

And talking of Bond, Nolan, a declared Bond fan seems to have set out to make his own Bond film, but along the way replaced all the fun, excitement and bonhomie of those films with this grand, over-stuffed, operatic extravaganza filled with mind-bending whiffle-waffle as we're batted back and forth through time, like the Irwin Allen's Time Tunnel but without John William's awesome theme tune.
 

Visually this film is stunning, its locations are beautiful its action beats spectacular, but for all its technical skill this is film feels flat and un-engaging, it's packed to the gills with characters who pop up for a single scene to propel our plucky heroes on to the next plot point, dispensing exposition, mostly unheard because of the dreadful soundmix which has important information drowned out by all the ambient noise.

 

And that's about it. This film is being hailed as a 5 star masterpiece. I sadly can't agree. This film suffers from the Emperor's new clothes syndrome, the critics will all hail it as a masterpiece but for me it was the purest example of style over substance and although I can't fault its look, style, blah blah the story left me cold, unmoved and at times a tad bored.

And like it's story structure this film is a film of two scores, one for technical brilliance and the other for entertainment.

10/10 for visual and technical brilliance

6/10 for entertainment.