#36: FUZE

 

STARRING: Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Theo James, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Sam Worthington, Saffron Hocking, Elham Ehsas and Honor Swinton Bryne. Written Ben Hopkins. Directed by David Mackenzie. Running time 96 minutes.

When an unexploded WWII bomb is found on a building site, a square mile of London is evacuated and cordoned off by the PoPo while Major Will Tranter (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) and his crack unit tries to defuse it. Meanwhile Karalis (Theo James) and 'X' (Sam Worthington) along with their band of professional bank robbers start drilling into the vault of a bank through a basement connecting wall in Edgeware Rd. But how did they know the bomb was there?

Bloody hell that was surprisingly exciting, twisty and turny. Produced by Sky and filmed in and around London, this looked like being any old generic police TV drama, but quickly revealed itself to be anything but. A great cast, a fast-paced script and a plot that keeps you guessing right up to the end. This was described as the perfect Dad movie and I couldn't agree more. I really enjoyed it and for once I couldn't guess the ending. It's no spoiler to tell you that the actual completion of the robbery is only the start of this gripping, tense and fantastically action packed thriller and that it's well worth a punt!

What with this and Crime 101 and Shelter 2026 is shaping up to be a good year for action thrillers.  

9/10

#34: THE MAGIC NOT FAR ENOUGH AWAY TREE

 

STARRING: Andrew Garfield, Claire Foy, Phoenix Laroche, Delilah Bennett-Cardy, Billie Gadsdon, Tom Johnson, Nonso Anozie, Jessica Gunning, Dustin Demri-Burns, Mark Heap, Simon Farnaby, Rebecca Ferguson, Michael Palin, Simon Russell Beale, Lenny Henry, Nicola Coughlan, Jessica Gunning and Jennifer Saunders. Screenplay by Simon Farnaby. Directed by Ben Gregor. Budget $80 million. Running time 110 minutes.

Stay at home husband, Tim (Andrew Garfield) and newly fired fridge designer Polly (Clair Foy) give up their hi-tech lives in the city and drag their three technology addicted children, Beth, Fran and Joe off to live in a barn in the country. There they find the Magic Faraway Tree and lots of lovely bonding and family related stuff happen, with lots of sugary delights and happy life lessons learned and there's even a family song that gets sung a lot. 

Not going to lie to you, I fucking hated this ghastly, sugary, sweet, twee and sickly sentimental sac of shit, the kids who all need a bloody good slap of reality, the generic locals they're all just so hateful. And then there's Andrew Garfield who comes out of this worst, his gurning, mugging little stupid face all bearded up and soppy, offering up a pathetically gentle and kind advice and support to his hideous family of over privileged stereo-typical ankle bitters. Who all come to turn on their tech-obsessed lives and embrace their father's life-long dream of selling home-made faux-Italian tomato sauce, while mum Clair Foy gives up on her previous life of industrial designer to become the stay-at-home-mum building a jerry-rigged green house in the garden. Oh then Jennifer Saunders arrives as Polly's mum to be the obligatory villain. Actually, I gotta say, Claire Foy is really good in this, you can see her professionalism shining through as she thinks about her mortgage getting paid for the next year or so off the back of this and good luck to her!

If only the film had been half as magical as the poster, which, to me, promises a magical land of adventure, not a trip to a giant fucking sweet shop. If only it had embraced the magical realm of the tree and ditched the generic, off-the-peg plot with its perfect three-act structure and life lessons learned, if only the kids got lost in a magical faraway land, while their parents search for them, but oh no what we get are kids getting magical wishes then trying to unwish them with the usual shits and giggles. I know I'm probably in the minority on this one, but there were just too many things in this that just continued to kick me in the mental pom-poms, like the forementioned Garfield who's just too smug and syrupy to be any good, the just absolutely awful one trick pony, Nicola Coughlan as Silky the earth-bound fairy, who just gets worst in everything she does. 

Apart from the horrible script and actors, the effects are okay. I kept thinking that if only this had been made by Terry Gilliam back in the 1980s it would have been a stone cold classic, but this sickly sweet confectionary of fairy tale tropes and tweeness is guaranteed to give you mental diabetes. 

But it's not all bad, thank the gods for the work of Dustin Demri-Burns as the Saucepan Man, Nonso Anozie as Moonface, Oliver Chris as Mr. Watzisname and Jessica Gunning as Dame Washalot and indeed all the magical characters, who are great, funny, unique and entertaining. 

Give me The Never Ending Story any day over this candy-floss nightmare. 

4/10

#33: THE DRAMA

 

STARRING: Zendaya, Robert Pattinson, Alana Haim, Mamoudou Athie and Hailey Gates. Written and directed by Kristoffer Borgli. Budget $28 million. Running time 105 minutes.

On the verge of their wedding, very much in love museum director Charlie Thompson (Robert Pattinson) and fiancee bookshop clerk Emma Harwood (Zendaya) go out with their friends, Rachel, Emma's Maid of Honour (Alana Haim) and Best Man, Mike (Mamoudou Athie) for a evening of wine tasting and while all are merrily imbued with fine wines and alcohol they all decide to play a game of 'What's the worst thing you've ever done?' For Charlie, Rachel and Mike their revelations reveal pranking a retarded kid, cyber-bullying a class mate, and using a girlfriend as a shield during a dog attack. However Emma's admission is so shocking and unexpected it triggers a series of terrible events that puts the whole marriage to be in jeopardy.

And that's enough of the plot, I wouldn't want to spoil it for you. This is a grown up, very well acted (very well acted indeed) with outstanding performances from both Pattinson and Zendaya. Pattinson gets the lion share of the screentime the film more intrigued with how Charlie reacts to Emma's 'truth', and its impact on their entire relationship is clearly deeply profound, as we see his mental struggles with it leading to a series of increasingly cringe-worthy events that build until you're squirming in your seat and watching through your fingers. They share a powerful chemistry which helps to make the conceit work, you believe these two love each other and are in a real relationship and the film takes its time to show how it all began, developed and then what happens next...

Because I don't want to spoil the reveal of the film I'm somewhat hamstrung by what I can say. So I'll get the superlatives out of the way first. I loved the look of the film, it all seems to have been shot on location and that gives the film a really intimate feel, from the homely feel of the couple's New York home, to their work places and finally the wedding venue. It sounds an odd thing to point out, but it really helps, I've seen so many TV dramas using hideous IKEA based sets that completely kills the sense of reality, not so here. Borgli directs brilliantly, he grants us access to the mental anguish Pattinson struggles with clever visual imaginings and editing, and flash backs to Emma's childhood help to sell the shocking revelation.     

The odd thing about this is that the 'shocking' reveal doesn't really feel that shocking for a UK audience, I can see how American audiences would be more impacted by it, but to me, whilst the reveal is surprising, when you find out what happened next one find yourself admiring her for her truth and puzzled why no one else can see it, or perhaps that's just me. 

Anyway, it has a fantastically funny impact and the wedding unravels spectacularly and unexpectedly.  

I enjoyed this greatly, it's bloody well acted, with great direction and an excellent script, it's filled with shocks, surprises and cringe worthy incident a plenty. Try and avoid any mentions or discussions of this and see it as soon as possible before someone spoils it for you. The great thing is that once again, this film will generate much discussion afterwards. 

After this, Splitsville and Sentimental Value relationship based films might just have become my new favourite genre.

9/10  

#32: SPLITSVILLE

 

STARRING: Dakota Johnson, Adria Arjona, Michael Angelo Covino and Kyle Marvin. Written by Michael Angelo Covino and Kyle Marvin. Directed by Michael Angelo Covino. Running time 104 minutes.

The plot follows two American couples, newly married life coach Ashley (Adria Arjona) and private school teacher Carey (Kyle Marvin) and their seriously well off friends, potter Julie (Dakota Johnson) and real estate developer Paul (Michael Angelo Covino). When after just 13 months of marriage Ashley tells Carey she wants a divorce she sets into motion an insane series of events that will break up and make relationships in the most unexpected fashion. Expect outrageous fights, multiple cases of eyebrow abuse, car crashes, dog poo, a veritable massacre of gold fish, a surprising amount of dick, brilliant dialogue and some fanstically clever sight gags, check out the portraits behind the Headmaster in his office. The film is peppered with great gags, additional characters and humour drier than a desert.

Writer, director and co-star Michael Angelo Covino delivers a truly and fantastically funny and chaotic comedy about modern relationships, he doesn't take the lead role, that falls to Kyle Marvin, but he does take perhaps the funniest, Paul, who proudly claims that his marriage to Julie is an 'open one', and that both partners are free to take lovers if and when they choose. Trouble is that when he finds out his best friend, Carey has slept with his wife he loses control and the proceeding fight almost destroys his fabulous lake side house. But that's just the beginning, thrown into the mix is Carey who has an unexpected and unusual solution to his wife leaving him, he moves back home and befriends her multiple lovers inviting them to move in with them. 

And even that much information isn't spoiling the film, this really was genuinely funny with a great cast. I gotta say that I've always thought that Dakota Johnson wasn't any good, I thought she was downright atrocious in Madame Web but here she absolutely shines, she's the brilliant centre of this film around all the other cast seem to gravitate to, perhaps because she's the only grown-up in this group. But kudos to the rest of the cast too, Adria Arjona as the life coach who keeps trying to read her breakup letter to Carey, editing it as she goes along is both funny and fantastically sexy! Her literal harem of discarded male lovers never seemed just comedic and helps to build a wonderful cast of secondary characters.

This is a good looking film, nicely shot and edited with a sequence of such expert skill in editing and blocking it deserves an Oscar in its own right. It's a 360 degree moving montage throughout Carey and Ashley's duplex apartment showing the passage of time where characters walk in an out of the shot as the camera moves  continues to travel, clothes are changed, new characters introduced and all seemingly shot in one take!

I haven't laughed this much at a modern comedy in an absolute age and it's great to see such an adult comedy that doesn't preach or try and teach lessons. I've never a fan of Judd Apatow's auteur, which is the nearest comparison, finding his films way too long and painfully unfunny. His characters are always super rich and their problems seem so far removed from anything approaching my own that I never engage with them, and there never seemed anything real about them or their problems. Whereas Splitsville is the exact opposite! Despite it also seeming to be populated by the super rich, this time round events and their actions change the status quo and their social standing making this feel far more real than the likes of This is 40, or this year's very unfunny and smug Is This Thing On?. Actually this feels much more like a Woody Allen film with added raunch.

A lot of times when a new comedy comes along you leave thinking that the trailer had been funnier, or shown the best parts. Not so this! The trailer perfectly hints at what's to come and for once doesn't give away the best bits. So, if you laughed or smiled at the trailer, chances are you're going to like this a lot!

See it while you can, it's a very funny and rude night out. For me, this is one of the best films of the year so far, and I think it might still be in the Top Ten come the end of it.

9/10

#31: THEY WILL KILL YOU

 

STARRING: Zazie Beetz, Myha'la, Paterson Joseph, Tom Felton, Heather Graham and Patricia Arquette. Written by Kirill Sokolov and Alex Litvak. Directed by Kirill Sokolov. Budget $20 million. Running time 94 minutes.

The start of a new franchise or a one-and-done, time and box office will tell. 

I'm finding this one hard to synopses, not because the plot is labyrinthian, but because I want to talk about it and the plot is almost secondary to the visual in this kinetic, frenzied, blood-soaked rampage pic of mayhem.

It's part of this horror genre, known as a 'Survival Thriller', which traditionally features a lone character, in modern times, usually a girl trapped in a house  hunted by an army of enemies which seemed have become a fan-favourite genre again thanks to 2009's Ready or Not, but which stretches right back to one of my favourite films, 1932's The Most Dangerous Game. Nowadays, the villains are usually satanic cults, which I suppose make these films supernatural, although in the memorable The Hunt (2020)  the enemy turned out to be super-rich liberals. ANYWAY, stop waffling, Leach what of this?

Well the story sees ex-convict Asia Reaves (Zarie Beetz) land a job as maid in The Virgil, a mysterious, exclusive high-rise apartment block in downtown New york. There she's greeted by Lilith Woodhouse (Patricia Arquette) the Irish superintendent and introduced to some of the inhabitants, a seemingly friendly woman called Sharon (Heather Graham) and a very friendly elderly couple. She meets the other maids, who all greet her cheerfully and then she's taken to her room, a lovely well appointed bedroom and off to bed she goes. Then in the middle of the night she's attacked by a group of hooded people who sneak into her room through a secret door with a view to killing her, and things go fucking apeshit when she fights back with an arsenal of weapons that she's smuggled in. You see, Asia isn't a simple maid, she's a ex-convict who's come looking for the little sister she's not seen in 10 years whom she knows is being held in The Virgil. However, it seems in The Virgil, you can't keep a bad man down, even when he's dead.  

This film takes the 10 minute plot rule literally and sure as shit, come that mark our Asia is ankle deep in blood and guts and she's off and running! Turns out The Virgil is controlled by Satan himself and the inhabitants are all immortal, but only if they pay the yearly blood debt to keep on living. From then on this is a mad paced, frenetic blood-soaked orgy of gore, violence and humour. We get cutaways to  the main characters each with their own title card and the back stories help set the scene. 

Image a film made by Quentin Tarantino and Sam Raimi, with its foot glued to the pedal, the camera work is fantastic, insane Raimi zooms and Tarantino sensibilities in the dialogue and attitudes, it starts out fantastically fast and funny. The humour feels very Raimi and a prolonged chase through and under the floors of the Virgil are hilarious, and gory beyond belief. 

If only this film could have kept the sheer energy of that opening attack it would be a stone cold classic 10/10, but alas it can't, and while it's insanely game, it all becomes a tad samey by the end. But boy, what an end, shame Ready or Not 2 covered similar material, but you know the old Hollywood rule. You wait decades for a devil worshipping cult of immortals who need a human sacrifice to continue living and two come along in the same week!

This wins thanks to a superbly game cast that includes Tom Felton, Paterson Joseph, Heather Graham, Patricia Arquette and the absolutely furious Zazie Beetz who totally rules as the 'final girl' heroine, boy can she kick, hack, slash and massacre like a bitch! There's also, some downright superb practical effects, seriously the final showdown with a pig headed demon is downright jaw dropping.  

This is a funny, gory and mercifully short, sad it's just a tad samey. 

7/10.

#30: READY OR NOT 2: HERE I COME

 

STARRING: Samara Weaving, Kathryn Newton, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Shawn Hatosy, David Cronenberg and Elijah Wood. Written by Guy Busick and R. Christopher Murphy. Directed by Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett. Budget $10 million. Running time 108 minutes.

Maybe I'm getting old, but I get a thrill from reading that a film is only 108 minutes long. Not only that, but I booked my ticket for the 18:00 performance, so I should be done and dusted by 20:00, so already this film's off to a good start, infact it might even get an extra point. Time will tell. 

It might have taken 7 years to get this sequel to the 2019 movie, Ready or Not out, but the events, in this second part of a planned trilogy, take place scant seconds after that first film had finished. And I went in expecting a whole different plot this time round, I mean how could the same shit happen to the same girl twice?

Ooh, that's now. 

The plot sees Grace MacCaullay (Samara Weaving) kidnapped from a hospital by the Danforth family, having survived a deadly hide-and-seek game between her and the combined might of her husband and her in-laws in their sprawling family mansion as part of a black magic ritual. However, this being a sequel her nightmare isn't over, no it's just beginning, again, as she's dragged to another mansion and forced to play hide-and-seek again, with a whole new group of rival elite families, but this time with her estranged sister, Faith (Kathryn Newton) in tow, who's been kidnapped as an incentive. It turns out if Grace wins this game she'll claim the Seat of Ultimate Power. And this is why wedding gift lists are so important. And so begins a brutal and very bloody fight for survival. 

The first John Wick film was a true lighting in a bottle movie, it was a brilliant action film made with no follow on or sequel in mind. However when John Wick 2 rolled into view it came bogged down by back story, lore and rules. The same can be said of Ready or Not 2: Here I Come, which is forced to expand on the whole devil worshipping schtick of the first film and run with it. There's now a very complicated set of rules that dictate what the family can do and woe-betide anyone who breaks the rules.

Despite being billed as a horror/action/comedy, this plays it very straight at least for the first two acts, although by the third it really just lets rip with the violence and gore. Cos, this is a very gory and bloody film, the deaths are gruesome and the physical damage meted out to the two female leads is at times painful to watch. Samara Weaving is a game girl who luckily shares the same ability to shrug off near fatal injuries with a smile and a winch as John Wick did. The heart of this film arrives in the interplay between the two sisters and as their back story is revealed.

The elite family hunting them are just tropes and types, although there's an amusing bylaw that dictates that a member of each family must hunt the girls, leading to multiple members of each family having to take up the axe, shotgun, knife or sniper rifle when one of their number fall. 

It's moderately funny and only really comes to life in the final act. Overall it's a savage little flick with a passion for violent, gory deaths and the final confrontation elevated it from a 6/10. It may not be rocket science, or brain surgery, but it was bloody entertaining and rather funny. If you liked the first one, you'll probably love this one.  

7/10

#29: ARCO

 

VOCALLY STARRING: Roma Fay, Juliano Krue Valdi, Mark Ruffalo, Natalie Portman, WIll Ferrell, Andy Samberg, Flea, Roeg Sutherland, America Ferrera and Wyatt Danieluk. Written by Ug Bienvenu and Felix de Givry. Directed by Ugo Bienvenu. Produced by, among others, Natalie Portman. Music Araud Toulon. Budget 9.5 million Euros. Running time 89 minutes. 

This French science fiction animated film plays like a classic Hayao Miyazaki anime, and how wonderful to see a new animated film, drawn and not computer animated for a change, although not all of the hand drawn works, some of it is a tad clunky, and occasionally you can see when different studio takes over some of the shots. The colour palette of flat colour also feels fresh, it's been a while since I've seen that in a major release, and together this all helps to give the film a fresh and vital visual feel. Shame they had to resort to some AI assisted sound tricks though.

The story, set in the year 2932 sees the remnants of humanity living on platforms in a huge tree-like structures that rise up out of the flooded world into the clouds. It's a world of peace and beyond the flooded aspect rather idyllic. Living a life of tranquility, young 10 year-old Arco Dorell (Juliano Krue Valdi) yearns for adventure and coverts one of the rainbow flight suits his parents and sister wear. These suits, that leave a rainbow in their wake, allows the wearer to travel through time. You see, Arco's family are time travellers and use their rainbow flight suits to travel into the distant past to examine the dinosaurs and bring back samples of flora. Naturally their society dictates that no one under the age of 12 can use the suits, so obviously Arco being 10 is a massive dick, and so steals his sisters' suit and leaps off the platform to go and visit the dinosaurs. Naturally it goes wrong and little Arco crash lands in the year 2075, and into the life of fellow 10 year-old Iris (Romy Fay), an exceedingly bright but loney girl, and her baby brother, Peter who are both being looked after 24/7 by a robot nanny called Mikki (Mark Ruffalo and Natalie Portman), while their parents work away from home and only communicate via hologram. This is a world where robots seem to do all jobs, apart from the ones Iris's parents do. It's also a world being pummelled by nature through storms and wild fires. Each night huge glass dome cover the buildings and every day the robots repair the damage. One day while bunking off from school, Iris finds Arco unconscious in the woods and takes him home, unaware that she's being followed by three mysterious brothers, who all wear rainbow sunglasses and drive around in a van looking for rainbow travellers. Once home Iris and Arco start to bond and he explains what brought him to her. One day, Arco tries to fly away but can't, he's not strong enough and a vital crystal that powers the rainbow suit is missing. As a raging firestorm threatens Iris's town, she and Arco race off to the school, after her parents order Mikki to hand Arco over to the authorities. Chased by the three brothers, Mikki and the local police force Arco and Iris are chased through a truly apocalyptic forest fire inferno with tragic results and while the ending is never in doubt, the toll it exacts on Arco is truly heart wrenching. 

The story builds carefully, establishing the two worlds our lead characters inhabit, time is spent getting to know both Iris and Acro, which works exceedingly well to bond us to them. Iris's lonely home life with Mikki resonates strongly and grounds her, making her quick connection with Arco easily understandable. This is a film that kids over 8 will truly love, and although the third act becomes a tad too action-packed it's not to the detriment of the story. This film has a true heart at its core and beyond the comedic antics of the rainbow sunglass wearing three brothers, is played straight, something the likes of Pixar could takes notice of. Animated films don't have to have sassy, wacky kids as lead characters and comic book villains to be thwarted. The attention to detail in establishing Iris's world is brilliant and her world truly looks fresh and original. Using Miyaski as his benchmark is a shrewd move on behalf of Ugo Bienvenu and pays dividends for this, his directorial debut.

A satisfying and moving film, that would have been a solid 8 had it not been for the ending that is truly and deeply poignant. It's rare you see a child's film that eschews the usual pat lessons for one about the consequences of actions taken, and the cost of those actions. I admire this film for being brave enough to do what it does. This is well worth 89 minutes of your life, even more so if you have 8-year old or older children to watch this with, it's guaranteed to stimulate discussion and it's truly worth seeing. 

9/10

#28 & 35: PROJECT HAIL MARY

STARRING: Ryan Gosling, James Ortiz, Sandra Hüller, Lionel Boyce, Ken Leung, Milana Vayntrub and Priya Kansara. Based on the book by Andy Weir. Screenplay by Drew Goddard. Directed by Phil Lord and Christopher Miller. Budget $248 million. Running time 156 minutes.

Astronaut Ryland Grace (Ryan Gosling) awakens from a medically induced coma on an interstellar flight to Tau Ceti, with no memory of why he's there and with the bodies of two dead crew mates as his only companions. Gradually, through flashbacks we find out just what the ruddy hell is going on and it's genuinely rocket science. It turns out that our sun and hundreds of others in our particularly arm of the galaxy are being eaten alive by something called Astrophage, a single cell organism. Well, all the suns except one, Tau Ceti. And so Ryland has been sent to find out why and maybe a cure before the Earth dies freezing. Trouble is, it's a suicide mission as Grace only has enough fuel for a one way trip. As his memory slowly returns and we discover more about his past, he arrives in orbit around Tau Ceti and discovers he's not alone in the universe. Waiting there is an alien spaceship from another part of the galaxy, whose sun is also being eaten alive and whose sole surviving inhabitant is also looking for a cure. The inhabitant is a strange, eyeless, six-legged, spider-like, rock creature who Rylan names 'Rocky' (James Ortiz) and together these two intrepid scientists search for salvation before the lights go out for both of their civilizations. Along the way bonding and becoming friends.

Based on the book by Andy Weir, who wrote the absolutely brilliant The Martian and adapted by Drew Goddard, who also adapted The Martian. It was a film I absolutely loved, one of Ridley Scott's best. And this shares a lot of the same DNA with that previous film, right down to the movie poster. 

It's also clear that Weir has tropes he likes to explore, as both his lead characters are marooned scientists using their wiles to survive and thrive, although this time round the stakes are global not personal. Both are 'hard' science fiction films eschewing space battles and killer transforming robots, but not aliens, which in this case is a good thing. Not since the exceptional 2016 movie, The Arrival has Hollywood presented us with an alien quite so, alien. 

Sadly for me, at least, the film starts off by slightly fumbling the ball by playing like a comedy with Gosling mugging, gurning and prat falling his way around the zero-G spaceship as he struggles with his amnesia and it somewhat undercuts the serious content. In the book Grace's amnesia was a fantastic way to get to know our lead character as glimpses of his forgotten life gradually restored his memory and built the plot. While here his memory loss is played mostly for laughs, not broad ones but still enough to put me slightly on edge. I suppose the trouble is I loved Grace in the book and the film seemed to be belittling him. I usually have no problems with adaptations of books into films, I know they are two separate mediums and as such I can't expect the film to be the book and wouldn't want it to be, but here the adaptations felt a less nuanced.

It's the introduction of Rocky, with his own tragic backstory, that elevates this film and gives it its heart as both beings develop a shared language and work together to defeat the Astrophaguel, or to find a cure. It's exciting, emotional and very entertaining. Gosling is easy on the eyes and can do this sort of role in his sleep. the puppetry of Ortiz and his crew pays dividends and I'm glad he wasn't just a CGI creation, having Gosling interacting with Rocky really nails the emotional connection. I'm so glad to see that this has gone down so well with the critics, scoring a 97% on Rotten Tomatoes and I hope it does equally well at the cinema, I think word of mouth should work and propel this, it deserves it. I love these sort of one-and-done science fiction films that won't have sequels or overstretched franchises and I hope Hollywood keep on making them. What with this, Good Luck, Have Fun, Don't Die and Steven Speigberg's lastest Disclosure Day (out in July) this year looks to be a good one for original science fiction films and I hope it lasts. Before I sum off, special mention needs to be made of not just the script or the skills of directors Lord and Miller, but also the music and sound track. The film expertly uses classic rock and pop songs to great effect that help to elevate the tension and drama, while the soundtrack by Daniel Pemberton is very satisfying too. 

Over all this was an entertaining, satisfying, exciting and enjoyable adventure that moved me and made me laugh, indeed there's one gag that made me laugh so much the audience laughed at my reaction. The gag was: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "I don't do comedy." "I don't do comedy who?".

I went with daughter and wife. Daughter loved it and gave it a 9, wife not so and gave it a 7. Me...

I'd give it a solid 8/10. 

SECOND TIME ROUND

Delighted to find that second time round this remains a deeply satisfying, enjoyable, entertaining and thoroughly likeable science fiction drama. Ryan Gosling carries the film, stars in every scene and completely sells his character of Grace. Bloodly loved it! If you haven't seen this yet, go and see it, especially if you like The Martian, you'll be in for a moving and exciting experience. And if like me you've already seen it, then give it a second go, I don't think you'll be disappointed.

Still a stone-cold 8/10!

#27: BUGONIA

 

STARRING: Emma Stone, Jess Plemonds, Aidan Dlbis, Stavros Halkias and Alicia Silverstone. Screenplay by Will Tracy. Directed by Yorgos Lanthimos. Budget $55 million. Running time 118 minutes.

Convinced his boss, Michelle Fuller (Emma Stone) the CEO of a major pharmaceutical company is actually an alien from Andromeda star system, conspiracy nut Teddy Gatz (Jess Plemons) and his autistic cousin Don (Aidan Delbis) kidnap her and keep her a prisoner in the basement of Teddy's rural and isolated house. To prevent her contacting anyone, Teddy shaves Michelle's head and covers her in body cream. Teddy wants Michelle to take him aboard her spaceship where he might be allowed to negotiate with the Emperor. All he has to do is keep her alive and his gradually fracturing sanity intact for three days when a lunar eclipse will allow communication with Andromedian spaceship which he believes is parked in orbit. And all she has to do is convince him she's not an alien with designs on ending all human life on Earth. Let the battle of wits begin.

A film hailed by critics and ignored by the public. This is a very slow moving movie, filled with lengthy monologues and unsettling music as the balance of power between Stone and Plemonds ebbs and flows, as secrets are exposed and hidden agendas revealed, but who is telling the truth? Is it Teddy, a flat-earther looney obsessed by conspiracy theories who has brow-beaten this cousin into his fanatical plan, or is it Michelle, the pent up, work-obsessed ball of nerves who governs her company like an emperor and lives alone in her hi-tech glass and steel palace isolated from everybody.

It's brilliantly acted and directed, it gets under your skin and niggles at the edge of your psyche. This builds to a conclusion which will either alienate or resonate and for me it was well worth it. Not so my long-suffering wife who disliked this greatly, although we did spend a good hour afterwards talking about it and any film that engenders discourse is alright in my book. 

It's at times extremely savage, surprisingly gory and brutal, it's also a very slow burn and will try your patience if you don't buy into its vibe. Yorgos Lanthimos and Emma Stone keep making films that confound. surprise, frustrate and delight and this is no exception. 

8/10

#26: THE BRIDE!

STARRING: Jessie Buckley, Christian Bale, Peter Sarsgaard, Annette Bening, Jake Gyllenhaal and Penelope Cruz. Written and directed by Maggie Gyllenhaal. $90 million. Running time 126 minutes.

I think the tagline of the poster perfectly sums up the film, 'Here Comes The Motherfucking Bride!'

This is raw, rage-infused, manic, furious, relentless and perfectly encapsulates the notion of the original 'Punk' movement to a T, or 'P' if you'd prefer.

The plot set in America in the 1930s sees Ida (Jessie Buckley), a good time girl possessed by the spirit of Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley during a drunken night out in a fancy restaurant. There she loudly spills the beans on the activities of a vicious crime boss, Lupino (Zlatko Buric) who promptly orders her execution, which her boyfriend Lupino's sidekick James (Matthew Maher) carries out by punching her down a staircase where she breaks her neck and dies. Meanwhile, 'The Monster' (Christian Bale) arrives in New York desperate for Dr. Cornelia Euphronious (Annette Bening) to help him create a bride to break his soul destroying loneliness. She reluctantly agrees and together they dig up the corpse of Ida, pump a mysterious gunk into her and then zap her with the electric output of the entire city. Ida awakens revived, still possessed by Mary but with no memory of her past life and together the two monsters runaway on a cross-country inadvertent murder spree pursued by Detective Jake Wiles (Peter Sarsgaard) and his assistant Myrna Malloy (Penelope Cruz). The two monsters fall in love and bond over Frank's love of the movies of Ronnie Reed (Jake Gyllenhaal), a Hollywood star and The Bride becomes a symbol of female rebellion, which in turns sparks a dance movement across the nation, as women, rise up to have their bloody revenge. The film builds to a bloody and violent ending which fits the material perfectly.

There is a lot to unpack here, it's not perfect, It shifts tonally and ricochets from black comedy to feminist treaty to thriller to crime drama back to black comedy in a blink of an eye. And through it all strides Jessie Buckley who roars and rules the screen, the way she channels the spirit of Shelley is breath-taking. But this isn't a one-woman show, Christian Bale as the monster aka Frank is equally intense and the two actors clearly seem to revel in their roles and chemistry. Similarly, Maggie Gyllenhaal as writer and director deserves special mention, her script, might be overwrought, overwritten and over-long, but it's also nevertheless insanely over the top and so packed with incident that it's like experiencing a drug-fuelled fever dream. She has created a unique take on the Frankenstein mythos and this film pays homage to many of the those past films including Young Frankenstein, The Bride of Frankenstein and the HAMMER Frankenstein franchise, while at the same time creating something new, this is a version of the monster that is profoundly ugly in looks, and poetic and romantic beneath the scarred and mutilated flesh.

A violent, brutal, savage, chaotic, furious film that also touching, and fugly romantic. This won't be everyone's cup-of-tea but it is insanely and fantastically unique. 

8/10

P.S.
I think this would make a wonderful double bill movie with Wuthering Heights.

#25: HOPPERS

 

VOCALLY STARRING: Piper Curda, Bobby Moynihan, Jon Hamm, Kathy Najimy and Dave Franco. Screenplay by Jesse Andrews, story by Daniel Chong and Jesse Andrews. Directed by Daniel Chong. Budget $150 million. Running time 105 minutes.

For 10 years, from 1995 until 2015 I watched every new Pixar film without fail, a total of 15 films, three of which made me cry, one which stunned me to its core thanks to its creativity, and one that remains on my top ten favourite films of all times. Sadly that legendary run faltered and I started to miss new Pixar releases, they just didn't resonate with me anymore, and it seemed to me that when once the Pixar mantra had been 'Story is King', it changed to 'Message is King', as each new film went out of its way to teach or preach at its young audience and I just didn't need to be preached at so I missed, and still haven't seen The good Dinosaur, Cars 3, Onward, Soul, Luca, Turning Red and Elio. indeed, Inside Out 2 was the last Pixar film I've seen at the cinema prior to this one, it was fun, but not necessary and sticked so closely to the classic Syd Mead three act structure that was it was just a generic sequel. Pixar didn't used to do those, but you know, Disney and their true mantra is 'Cash is the true King.' but that was it for me. 

Now, the announcement of a new Pixar film leaves me cold, or did until Hoppers. I was hooked by the trailer and the premise, it looked fun, fresh and fun and I was in!

And then I saw it.

Oh. Dear. What a disappointment, what a glorious-looking, visually stunning, and brilliantly animated film, but how generic, how average, how one note. There's a message, of course, and even that is about as fresh as three week old milk. The story sees Mabel Tanaka (Piper Curda), an animal-loving Japanese-American college student's mind transferred into the body of a robotic beaver. The robotic beaver gives the wearer the ability to talk to animals, so she promptly steals it and goes off into the wild to convince the beaver population to return to her dead grandmother's idyllic wildlife pond at the bottom of her house. Turns out the greedy mayor Jerry Generazzo (Jon Hamm) wants to use the site to complete his elevated ring-road around the city of Beaverton. Mabel discovers that each animal family has a king, and convinces King George, the beaver monarch (Bobby Moynihan) to unite the animal kingdom in an attempt to assassinate Jerry, using a great white shark, convinced his death will save the glade. Which in turn triggers Mabel to rethink her lifestyle choices and try to save the day. 

There's lots more going on, which I can't be arsed to try and synopsise, there's an evil villain, a human robot, a ridiculous car chase, a deeply frustrated human scientist trying to get her hands back on her animal robot, and a lot of stupid story rules that are shoehorned into proceedings only to be promptly ignored when the story demands.

I had thought, based on the trailer, that the robotic animal piloted by a human mind would be enough for a story, but sadly Pixar think that kids needs a wacky, outrageously stupid story to hang off the premise, so we get the whole environmental back story, the building of a ring road and all the rest.

It starts very well, the animation is a delight, there's a clever use of anime style to proceedings, and the Pixar look also works well here too, it looks great, the character design is fiesty and fun. Trouble is nowadays Pixar aren't the only show in town and with the likes of Blue Sky, Illumination Entertainment, Dreamworks, Sony Animation and a slew of others producing great looking and stylistic product, looking great just isn't enough anymore. This is the time when Story should be King.

Everything here is just so generic, the story so obvious, the plot beats seen a thousand times before. The conceit behind the story is so farcial, the human scientists watching Mabel in her Beaver robot interacting with animals, able to hear them talk and then witnessing the gathering of the animal kingdom royalty is ridiculous. Likewise the animals airlifting in a 3000lb Great White Shark to use as a smart bomb sounds hilarious but utterly shattered the created rules of this world. If you're going to create a science fiction story you have to have rules that work and you can't break them for the purposes of the plot. This doesn't so much jump the shark as drop it from a great height in an attempt to kill an innocent human. When the third act robot-walks into sight, and the true villian of the film is finally revealed the plot goes into overdrive and not only robs the film of all its borderline reality but ruins it completely with the introduction of a human robot suit that animals can use. 

There's a rule in comic publishing that you don't tell the reader on the cover that the comic is 'fun', 'funny', 'wacky' or 'crazy', a thing is either those things or it isn't and a reader will see through it and deem the object none of the above. The film wants everyone to think it's also all the above, but it's not. The idea behind is crazy, wacky, fun and a fantastic idea, but the film is anything but. The kids who sat watching this did so in stony silence and unmoved until the final act action bonanza specifically put there for the ankle biters to get excited. 

Also, call me old, but what the fuck happened to those glorious Pixar shorts that used to be screened before the film? 

Anyway, I've had enough, I've still got The Bride! to review, and a dog to walk, and it's only 8:00am.

This get a 6/10

#23: HOW TO MAKE A KILLING

 

STARRING: Glenn (The Next Big Thing) Powell, Margaret Qualley, Jessica Henwick, Bill Camp,  Zach Woods, Topher Grace and Ed Harris. Screenplay and directed by John Patton Ford. Based on Israel Rank: The Autobiography of a Criminal by Roy Horniman. Budget $15 million. Running time 105 minutes.

Apparently this is 'loosely based on Robert Hamer's classic 1949 Ealing Comedy Kind Hearts and Coronets, which was heralded as 'loosely based' on the above mentioned Roy Horniman novel. This marks the second British comedy remake of the year, with last month's immensely enjoyable Send Help being a loose remake of The Admirable Crighton.

HTMAK sees orphan Becket Redfellow (Glenn Powell) sitting in his prison cell explaining to a priest on the eve of his execution how he murdered members of his immediate family so he could inherit a family fortune of $29 billion. This, he explains he did after being inspired to do so by his school sweetheart, Julia Steinway (Margaret Qualley) who walks back into his life as a staggering beautiful heiress and discovers him folding clothes in a upmarket men's fashion boutique. Becket loves the idea and with no hassle or difficulty at all proceeds to murder his way up the food chain so to speak, exhibiting extremely impressive chemistry and weapons knowledge to achieve his goals. At one point his uncle, Warren Redfellow (Bill Camp) kindly takes him under his wing, gives him a job, the one his son had before Becket killed him and sort of adopts him. Because this is Hollywood, Warren conveniently dies of a massive heart attack so Becket doesn't have to kill him and the audience won't dislike him as a character. Anyway, he slaughters his through his cousins until that fateful final showdown with his grandfather, Ed Harris.  

Finally once he's achieved his life ambition he's captured for a murder he didn't commit, that of Julia's husband, and gets sentenced to death. 

Over all this is a rather dull and un-engaging comedy action romp. Exhibiting no real bite, the murders are all utterly vanilla, bloodless and achieved with an ease that stretches credulity to breaking point and leaves the film completely toothless. It's all so goddam tame and dreary. The sublime 1949 original, set in Edwardian Britain, with Denis Price in the Becket role and Alec Guinness as all eight members of the D'Ascoyne family, as the Redfellows where known was a charming, witty black comedy that still delights to this day. In adapting and revamping the original film, all that John Patton Ford seems to have done is just shift the time and location to New York in the 2020s. So, thank god for Margaret Qualley at least in principle, who is a truly extraordinarily exciting actress, although she sadly overwhelms the rather bland Glenn Powell. She, or at least her character who exudes seduction and sinister intent, is the sole saving grace of the whole film. Although her character is not properly established and beyond a single caste kiss when they are both children seems to have no real connection with Becket. Hollywood seem determined to launch Glenn Powell as The Next Big Thing and keep chucking him at projects and they keep misfiring, if he doesn't find something he clicks in soon, he's going be become known as The Last Hasbeen. in this he is okay, but he's simply outclassed by both Qualley and Ed Harris who both give this film some glimmer of quality.

The direction is okay, the sound mix, for once is good, but the film looks cheap, and fails to convince this is a world of billionaires.  

Not all together totally horrendous, but I'd still dump it for just one more chance to watch the original up on the big screen. 

6/10

#22: EPiC: ELVIS PRESLEY IN CONCERT

 

STARRING: ELVIS PRESLEY. Directed by Baz Luhrmann. Budget $11 million. Running time 97 minutes.

The story behind the making of this film is worthy of a film in its own right. While making his 2022 bio pic of the King, Elvis Baz Luhrmann went looking for unseen footage from the two legendary Elvis concert films – Elvis: That's the Way It Is and Elvis on Tour when he stumbled across 68 boxes of unseen footage in the Warner Bros film archives, situated in a Kansas salt mine. The film, both 35mm and 8mm featured not only Elvis's legendary 'Gold Jacket' performance from his 1957 Hawaii show, but also outtakes and previously unseen material, although sadly it all came with absolutely no sound. He also uncovered a previously unheard 45 minute audio recording of Elvis talking about his life and an unseen clip of Presley singing 'Oh Happy Day'. Baz then spent the next two years getting the footage restored and synced to existing audio sources. So far, so Wikipidia.

Although what Baz did next was to craft all that incredible footage into this utterly unique and extraordinary hybrid movie that's simultaneously a classic Elvis Las Vegas concert film stitched together from various shows and also a genuinely unique glimpse behind the scenes as we watch Elvis and his band rehearse and practice, then added to that, listening to the man himself talk about about his life and answer questions from various press interviews. There's also an after party sequence, with Elvis in his black leather outfit as he talks to a obviously delighted Cary Grant and Sammy Davis Jnr.

It all works to create a truly wondrous experience that's actually breathtaking. There's something about watching Elvis that is truly memorising, he is the consummate performer, and his obvious knowledge of music and its structure is mesmerizing to behold, watching him with his band, sweating, practising, shaping the performance to come is a true delight, much in the same way the superlative Beatles: Let it Be was, it's always a genuine privilege to watch true musicians, or artist, to craft their art, to seem to peek behind the curtain and watch the magic being stirred. There's a scene, from the Vegas shows, a reverse shot from the stage back at the audience that is simply staggering, a sea of fans, all moving as one, all cheering, waving, and you can feel the sheer delight and excitement of each and every one of them. All those marvellous 1960s and 70s fashions, sunglasses, haircuts and screaming, it's breathtaking. Good I loved this! The vibrant colours, the cinematography, the film throbs and surges with life and energy and the running time, flew by. This was a film to enjoy on the big screen, Elvis's head, hair and sideburns huge for all to see, and then when he's performing, Oh. My. God. There's a reason he was called The King. That man was pure power transcendent. 

This was a fantastic, film that left me with goosebumps, dazed by his voice, his physicality, his sheer musical prowess and his magnificent high collared white suits. 

Go and see this at the cinema and watch the best concert you've ever seen. 

10/10

#21: THE GODFATHER

STARRING: Marlon Brando, Al Pacino, James Caan, Richard Castellano, Robert Duvall, Sterling Hayden, John Marley, Richard Conte and Diane Keaton. Screenplay by Mario Puzo. Directed by Francis Ford Coppola. Music by Nino Rota. Budget $7 million. Running time 175 minutes. Originally released in 1972.

The rise and rise of the Don Corn Holio crime family. A staggeringly sumptuous, brilliantly made, intensely gripping and powerful movie, indeed one of the greatest movies ever made. Directed to perfection by Coppola, from a layered and nuanced script by Puzo, and with a cast of some of the finest actors ever to grace the silver screen. This is a note perfect, beautiful film that never fails to thrill me to my actual core. 

I've lost count of the number of times I've watched this, although never on the big screen so what a treat to see it writ large the way Coppola intended. It's so packed with drama and incident, but never at the cost of the story, events unfold perfectly and it's tightly plotted structure is a marvel to behold. Watching the character of Michael (Al Pacino) change over the course of the story from war hero to Godfather of his father's crime syndicate is to witness the power of subtle corruption, how the events slowly change him and transforms him from near-innocent into the dead-behind-eyes crime family boss who calmly orders the murder of five men to secure his family's future on the day of his nephew's christening is chilling. Pacino sets the film alight with his presence. Watching this on a large screen gives you a chance to really explore the actors as they work, watching Brando is a treat that richly rewards. Like I said, everyone in this film is astounding.   

I was struck by some of Coppola's blocking, the way he moves the camera in scenes, as well as the editing prowess of William Reynolds and Peter Zinner, and the gorgeous cinematography of Gordon Willis. Indeed every aspect of this film was just a joy to behold. Starting with the wedding scene is a brilliant decision, and for the first 20 odd minutes we are slowly immersed into the working of the family, before we're exposed to evil that infects it.

This went on to make over $291million dollars on its initial release off a budget of just $7 million, and would win seven Golden Globes and was nominated for 11 Academy Awards winning just two for Best Actor (Marlon Brando) and Best Picture. It also spawned two sequels, Godfather II, and Godfather III.  

If you've only ever seen this on Blu Ray, or DVD, or VHS or just at home do yourself a favour and watch it on the big screen if you get a chance, you won't be disappointed. 

A triumph. 10/10

#20 & 24: GOOD LUCK, HAVE FUN, DON'T DIE

STARRING: Sam Rockwell, Haley Lu Richardson, Michael Pena, Zazie Beetz, Asim Chaudhry and Juno Temple. Screenplay by Matthew Robinson. Directed by Gore Verbinski. Music by Geoff Zanelli. Budget $20 million. Running time 134 minutes.

What's about, David? Well it's about 2 hrs and 14 minutes. But if it's story you're interested in then have you heard the one about a time traveller from a future post apocalyptic world who travels back to our present to recruit someone to help take down a soon to be activated super intelligent AI computer?

But that's the only similarity it has to Terminator, this is an altogether different kettle of fish. For a start it's far funnier. However, if you're someone who likes films to be described using pre-existing movies, then think of this as Terminator meets Miracle Mile via 12 Monkeys, Groundhog Day and The Matrix.

This is a bat-shit crazy, manic, breath-taking relentless mad-dash comedy action adventure that grips the moment Sam Rockwell's character known only as 'Man From the Future' stomps into a late-night diner called Norms and tells everyone he's there to save the world. He proceeds to pressgang six of the patrons into helping him and together they set off across town to the kill a nine-year old boy – the genius mastermind behind a super AI program that's going to enslave the world. Each of the six reluctant helpers are told they're expendable, although each is given a flash back which helps to flesh out this maddening world and give the film some much needed context, indeed enough for the keen eyed amongst you to just about work out what the heck is going on. I don't think you'll be disappointed, I certainly wasn't. This is at turns thrilling, gripping and bloody enjoyable. I loved the energy and the pace of this film, because those 2 hours and 14 minutes flew by. These sorts of films only work if the ending is nailed and this nails like perfectly. I don't want to go into specifics or story beats because this is a film best seen knowing as little as possible about the story. Just know it unravels perfectly and never feels leaden, plus it's lacking those annoying plot holes that often undermine these sorts of films.  

Gore Verbinski directs with kinetic energy galore, but never at expense of visual or story, his framing and pacing match the material perfectly. This has a lovely grungy feel about it, the most obvious reference being 12 Monkeys. But it's the relentless forward momentum that keeps this film firing on all cylinders. 

The cast, especially Rockwell is excellent, this is the sort of role he excels in. But then the rest of the cast do a damn fine job too. Similarly, the soundtrack by Geoff Zanelli fits in perfectly with the visuals and provides excellent audio beats. Finally, Gore Verbinski directs the whole thing with great skill and a keen eye for the visual and fills the screen with detail and action. 

Overall, this was a funny, moving and satisfying science-fiction comedy action film that manages to deliver a solid punch ending while avoiding a flabby middle (lucky bastard) and I'm looking forward to seeing again, and again!

10/10

TAKE TWO

Before I embark on this weekend's new releases I felt the urge to rewatch this before it leaves our silver screens for good, destined for the its second life on the smaller screen. But, this time, with wife and son in tow. How would it fare, what would THEY think, is it time to get a new family, or is this old one still okay? Only time would tell, well 2 hours and 14 minutes anyway... 

That was just as entertaining as the first time, in fact I think I enjoyed it even more second time round as I waited for remembered scenes to come along. I was more aware of the dialogue this time round too, the script is witty and fresh, giving each of the main band of characters their moment to shine. The film keeps changing from one thing to the next as the story unravels and the build up to the payoff is terrific. Stylistically it owes a great debt to the action films of the 80s, not only in the visual style but also the musical clues, twangy synch cords to highten tenstion. There's so much here to enjoy that the film genuinely deserves a second look. Gore Verbinski really deserves huge credit for steering the huge, Hydra-like, film with its multiple story strands and slew of characters. This really is a deeply satisfying and exciting film and you really should give it a go. It truly is one of the most original films you're likely to see. Sadly, it bombed at the boxoffice, probably because the marketing dept didn't know how to sell it. It's a true one-off and the sort of thing that Hollywood weren't supposed to be making anymore. That said, considering it did bomb, the chances of more like this getting greenlit diminishes each time one fails. Here's hoping Project Hail Mary has more success at the movies. 

Well worth two and a quarter hours of your life. And as to my wife and second born, they both loved it, and it generated an entertaning conversation on the way home. They both scored it a solid 8/10, although I'm sticking with my original. 

10/10

#19: COLD STORAGE

 

STARRING: Georgina Campbell, Joe Keery, Sosie Bacon, Vanessa Redgrave, Lesley Manville and Liam Neeson. Screenplay by David Koepp. Directed by Jonny Campbell. Running time 99 minutes.

Staying just long enough to do its job this was a fun, if uninspiring little sci-fi romp with a game cast, gory effects and a nice chemistry, but sadly missing the oomph factor to make it something really special.

The plot sees a mutated fungus return to Earth on a piece of the old Sky Lab and start killing all it infects. Luckily Neeson and Manville are on hand to contain it and lock it away in military storage facility. However, 18 years later the facility has been sold off and is now a self storage depot and the once hi-tech deep freeze containment facility holding the fungus has started malfunctioning causing storage depot night-watch man, Travis 'Teacake' Meacham (Joe Keery) and new girl, Naomi Williams (Georgina Campbell) to go off and explore the ominous bleeping deep below in sub basement 4. Meanwhile, an old lady, Ma Rooney (Venessa Redgrave) has come to inspect her storage locker. When Travis and Naomi discover that something has breached the containment field they phone the military and both Robert Quinn (Liam Neeson) and Trini Romano (Lesley Manville) are dispatched to contain the breech and kill any infected humans. Added to the mix is Travis and Naomi's boss, Griffen (Gavin Spookes), a Hells Angel biker who brings his gang to transport some stolen TVs out of the storage facility, oh, and Naomi's ex-boyfriend Mike (Aaron Heffernan). And the stage is set for some gory deaths and silliness. 

How wonderful to see so many great British and Irish actors in one film, Neeson, Manville and Vanessa Redgrave, and what a shame they're not given more to do. The film takes its time to get up to speed with a pre-credit sequence showing the capture of the fungus by Neeson and Manville, which is rather reminicent of the vastly superior, but far less funny 1971 film, The Andromeda Strain. The present day cast in the guise of Keery and Campbell have good chemistry and there's a nice edge of humour. And the idea of a military storage facility breaking down was used far more effectively in the superb The Return of the Living Dead.

This isn't a bad film, it was entertaining, funny and gross out gory at times but that's about it, it's a tad too laid back for its own good and lacks a really satisfying big boss battle. That said, at 99 minutes it's brisk and altogether fluffy and not at all terrible.

7/10

#18: WUTHERING HEIGHTS

 

STARRING: Margot Robbie, Jacob Elordi, Hong Chau, Shazad Latif, Martin Clunes, Alison Oliver and Ewan Mitchell. Written and directed by Emerald Fennell. Budget $86 million. Running time an endurance testing 136 minutes long.

Simultaneously this managed to be both a 2/10 and a 9/10, go figure? It was a film that was both infuriatingly ridiculous and powerfully moving, emotional and hysterical at the same time! It was like the maddest gothic comedy you've ever seen and then the most overwrought melodramatic romantic drama imaginable. It was a true assualt on the senses and it leaves you drained, shaken and entertained. The cast, every last one of them, gives nothing but 110%, with particularly fantastic performances from both Margot Robbie and Jacob Elordi, although I'm going to say this right now, Margot Robbie as Catherine is way too old for the role. Their accents are perfect, their passion for each other so real you can smell it and their rawness aches with power. 

But by god this is a strange film. To say it was batshit crazy is an understatment. It plays like a fucking fever dream, it is truly insane, its sheer lust positively oozes from the screen, this is a film obsessed by passion, lust and love and all things moist and squiggy. Everything about this film is in excess, the look of it, the acting, the fashions, the cinematography, and the staggering visual style of it, which feels it's like the bastard love child of Tim Burton and Guillermo del Toro by the way of David Lynch, this is gothic ratcheted up to a million. Everything about this is so far removed from the usual adaptations of Bronte as to make it altogether unique and utterly unrepeatable. Following Saltburn with this, Emerald Fennell  delivers a version of the obsessed young lovers that will either leave you ripping the seats out in rage, or weeping tears of joy at its sheer intensity. Special mention has to be given to Martin Clunes who is a fucking revelation in his role as Cathy's monstrous and abusive, alcoholic father, Mr. Earnshaw, who gifts Heathcliff to his daughter as a 'pet'.

Then there's two other actors of sublime ability who deserve special mention too! The first, Alsion Oliver,who plays Mr. Linton's sister, Isabella Linton, who deserves her own film, she's so sexually repressed she's utterly unhinged. At one point in the movie she innocently gifts to Cathy, as a Christmas present, the world's most erotic pop-up book, filled with page after page of engorged phallic-like mushrooms and flowers that open like velvety vaginas, she's almost insane with obvious lusty obsessions. And her reward is to be bedded by Heathcliff himself and debased in the most outrageous way imaginable, but only after he's warned her he's going to ruin her both physically and mentally in a mad attempt to win Cathy back. He explains how he'll use her and demean her and she positively leaps at the chance! And then there's Hong Chau as Nelly Dean, Cathy's paid companion who becomes the architect of all that is going to happen in the film, she is responsible for all the misery, death and emotional destruction that is to follow and Hong Chau plays it to perfection.  

Watching this reminded me of a recurring bad dream I used to have a few years back, which felt so real it would always leave me feeling unnerved and deeply uncomfortable when I awoke, not unlike this film. I don't know why, but this film had the same feeling, of some great unseen pressure this feels like a dream, like the sort you get after you've recovered from a general anaesthetic, not quite a nightmare, but most certainly not a 'good dream', this claws and scratches at your psyche, and pokes at you, it whispers then shouts, it's unsettling and uncomfortable and I still don't know if I loved it or hated it, but one thing I do know is I've never seen anything like it before and I was gripped to the bloody, bitter, diabolical end. 

And by god, the visual style of this film was so rich, so intense so vital, Catherine's room, her husband Mr. Linton (played by Toast of London's Clem Fandango - Shazad Latif, the only nice character in this whole film) tells her is painted the same pink as her face and on closer inspection reveals it even has light blue veins beneath the surface, like her face, and features the same moles that grace her face. There are monsterous things that dwell in this house which all coagulate into creating something almost David Cronneberg-esque. Likewise Cathy'e many costumes that seem to grip her and restrict her positively pulsate with sexuality. This is a film raw in tooth and claw.

I assumed I would hate this but I was wrong. It's a film you'll want to see with friends so you can talk about it. It's a film that will linger long after you've seen it and it's a film with a true uniqueness and raw spirit I've not seen in a very long time. And it's a film you'll either love or hate, there is no middle ground and for that reason alone I urge you to see it. 

8/10

POST SCRIPT!
It's the day after I saw this and I'm still getting flashback, like a PTSD suffering Nam Special Forces Green Beret after a particularly grizzly Vietcong village massacre. 

#17: CRIME 101

 

STARRING: Chris Hemsworth, Mark Ruffalo, Barry Keoghan, Halle Berry, Nick Nolte, Monica Barbaro, Corey Hawkins and Jennifer Jason Leigh. Written and directed by Bart Layton. Based on the book, Crime 101 by Don Winslow. Music by Blanck Mass. Budget $90 million. Running time 140 minutes.

Feeling like a 1970s crime film, this gripping, tense crime thriller is a real shot in the arm, with a cast all clearly revelling in their roles  and working well with the director to deliver a superb crime movie that's both satisfying and powerful although it does slightly fumble the landing. 

Written and directed by British BAFTA winning documentarian Bart Layton, who directed both The Imposter and Transylvania University Book Heist, gives Crime 101 a documentary feel and comes a cross like a mashup of The Getaway, Heat and The Driver, and that's not a bad thing!. 

The plot set in Los Angeles, and more importantly along U.S. Route 101 sees profession thief, Mike Davis (Chris Hemsworth) plotting his next major car hijacking with skill, precision and a lack of violence and DNA evidence, he's building a reputation for this and Detective, Lou Lubesnick (Mark Ruffalo) is hot on his trail. The film follows these two as well as 53 year-old insurance broker, Sharon Combs (Halle Berry), who's struggling at work and Ormon (Barry Keoghan), a young new turk on the scene of car hijackings, who just so happens to be rather psychotic. When Mike gets cold feet on a job he's been planning, his fence, Money (Nick Nolte) gives the job to Ormon and orders him to follow Mike and rob him once he's done his next big job. Meanwhile Mike, when he's not trying to date Maya (Monica Barbaro), a young woman he met following a minor car accident, is starting to question his own life choices, especially when he's very nearly killed in a heist, and Sharon is learning about the glass ceiling at her job, which also sees her question some of her life choices. The power dynamic between the four leads ebbs and flows as their fortunes rise and fall leading to a powerful collision in the final act that's pretty bloody exciting. 

It's great to see Chris Hemsworth acting again and not just being the laughing muscle he was in Thor, likewise watching Ruffalo and Hemsworth acting together is a real treat too. Both characters are excellent in their respective jobs but bad at the romance side of their lives, with Lou leaving his wife, and Hemsworth finding the isolation of his solitary life a major drawback when trying to date someone he actually likes. 

Despite being a long film, this certainly didn't drag, the action, although not plentiful is nevertheless vigorous and intense, and the friction between both Ormon and Mike provides real grist for the mill. Likewise Halle Berry performance gives the film a whole other level and helps to build a solid, bloody well-made crime thriller, which uses the 1970s crime thriller vibe to create an altogether different kind of 21st Century crime noir. The film builds to a showdown, which isn't hard to guess, but the ending stretches credulity a tad and somewhat mars the ending.

Well worth it! You'll come for the muscle and muscle cars and stay for the dynamic.

8/10