#2: SE7EN

Starring Brad Bitt, Morgan Freeman, Gwyneth Paltrow and John C. McGinley. Written by Andrew Kevin Walker. Directed by David Fincher. Music by Howard Shore. Budget $33-34 million. Running time 127 minutes. Originally released in 1995.

Se7en follows Detective Lieutentant William Somerset (Morgan Freeman) and Detective David Mills (Brad Pitt) as they investigate a series of horrible murders based on the seven deadly sins. Somerset is a week shy of retiring, his faith in humanity drained and longing to escape the nameless, crime-infested, rain-drenched city he has no love for. While Mills, just arrived is eager to make a name for himself. Let's hope no one loses their head.

30 years-old and still daisy fresh. This is a gruelling film, dark, bleak and superb. The murders are genuinely shocking and the look and feel of the film is almost physical. The performances by all four of the main characters is top class, as is the music, the art direction and direction by a young David Fincher. The two leads play well off each other and balance the film perfectly, Pitt's youth is all ticks and jitters, while Morgan's world-weary wisdom creates the balance.

It also features one of the finest credit sequences of all-times, which helps to prepare you for what is to follow. This is one of those films, like 1982's Blade Runner that utterly re-defined a genre and spawned a slew of imitators and Hollywood's love of the ridiculous idea of genius-level serial killers.  

This is one of those films where you leave shaken and thoughtful.

10/10 

#1: NOSFERATU

 

STARRING: Lily-Rose Depp, Nicholas Hoult, Emma Corrin, Ralph Ineson, Willem Dafoe, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Simon McBurney and Bill Skarsgård. Written and directed by Robert Eggers. Cinematography by Jarin Blaschke, music by Robin Carolan. Budget $50 million. Running time 132 mintues.

1838, Wisborg, Germany. Ellen (Lily-Rose Depp) and Thomas (Nicholas Hoult) are newly weds, he is an eager solicitor and estate agent and she a young women troubled by a traumatic past and plagued by bizarre seizures. When Thomas is sent by his boss, Herr Knock (Simon McBurney) to visit Count Orlok, an elderly old man and conclude a deal to sell him a derelict old house in Wisborb he believes it will secure his financial future with a promised promotion. Thomas reluctantly leaves his young wife in the care of his dear friends, Friedrich Harding (Aaron Taylor-Johnson and his wife Anna (Emma Corrin) and embarks on a six-week trek to the castle of Orlok. Things go a wee-bit Pete Tong once he gets there and we discover that old Orlok isn't a sad old man at the end of his days but rather a undead monster trapped in a body of a corpse and only the love of a young woman can free him. Turns out when Ellen was young she accidentally awoke Orlok and he needs to her to declare her undying love to free him from his curse. And he sets out to Wisborg.

Before long Wisborg is invaded by rats, and the plague and people are dropping like flies. Ellen starts going mad and Friedrich's family doctor, Wilhelm Sievers (Ralph Ineson) realises that something else is at work and enlists the help of disgraced professor, Albin Eberhart Von Franz (Willem Dafoe), who just so happens to be an expert in the occult, mysticism and alchemy and quickly recognises the psychic link between Ellen and Orlok. And once Thomas staggers back into town our band of heroes set out to kill Orlok and save Ellen.

Obviously this is a remake of the extraordinary 1922 silent masterpiece starring Max Schreck and directed by F.W. Murnau, that was an unlicensed adaptation of Dracula. And it's also the third time the tale has been filmed.

Robert Eggers delivers yet another deeply personal and extraordinary experience with this version of Nosferatu, it's a passion project for him that was first announced in 2015. Succeeding in making the vampire something disgusting again, this version of the Dracula mythology is a deeply atmospheric cinematic experience, thanks to the skills of cinematography Jarin Blaschke, the score by Robin Carolan, which is unsettling and dream-like, the production design is glorious and the look of the whole thing boarders on perfection to such a degree you'll swear you can smell it. It's a creepy film, but never scary, it's held aloft by the performances of Lily-Rose Depp whose dedication to the role of Ellen is genuinely impressive and backed up by the likes of Hoult, Ineson, Dafoe and McBurney, who is fantastic! However, the Keanu Reeves of this Dracula-esque outing is Aaron Taylor-Johnson, whom I used to really like, but I'm now beginning to think is a bit of a personality vacuum as well as a tad on the wooden side, his clipped British delivery boarders on the comical and his performance feels awkward. 

At 132 minutes this tests your endurance and I wonder if it really needed to be this long. It's nevertheless engrossing and like all the best train crashes you just can't look away. The only fly in the gruel is Orlok himself who just doesn't look as horrific as the staggeringly iconic Schreck version. Bill Skarsgård does a fantastic job, and his voice is like liquid gravel but ultimately his Orlok is just a big-nosed, massively moustachioed old man in a big coat.

Grotesquely beautiful but somewhat disappointing and lacking in bite. 8/10

2024: A REVIEW: THE BEST AND WORST FILMS OF THE YEAR

FILMS OF 2024

As 2024 drags its sorry carcass towards a conclusion it's time to see how it fared.  Well, surprisingly, while nearly all the blockbusters crashed and burned spectacularly, proving the old adage Nobody knows nothing it was a year filled with some damn fine films.

That said, I can't remember a year where so many films fought out for the converted best film of the year title, while at the other end of the spectrum the likes of Madame Web, Boredhands, Salem's Lot and Ghostbuster: Frozen Empire slugged it out for honour of being the worst.  

Also, with the absence of that much new Hollywood product the cinemas were forced to fill their schedules with re-issues of classic movies, so for me a win-win scenario. And it was perhaps the first film in decades to have no real summer blockbuster to get behind. 

In total I went to the cinema a grand total of 77 times, of which 21 were re-issues of classic films.

SO, here we go for the list no one wants or even cares about. 

First up, we have my list for the top ten movies of 2024.

TOP TEN OF 2024

1. THE SUBSTANCE 10/10
"I loved every single gore soaked second and marvelled at the bravery of both Moore and Qualley's  performances. An astonishing film that cannot be described and needs to be seen to be believed."

2. THE ZONE OF INTEREST 10/10
"This is a powerful and deeply chilling experience, which despite its subject matter I urge you to see.."

3. NYE 10/10
"Brilliantly mounted and staged, it left me extremely moved in a way I found truly unique and special."

4. THE BOY AND THE HERON 10/10
"A beautiful, wonderful, dazzling movie with true heart and emotional depth that deserves to be seen on the big screen. It is pure cinematic perfection." 

5. FURIOSA: A MAD MAD MAX SAGA 9/10
"Apart from the sin of being a sequel, this was a deeply satisfying and fantastic visual spectacle that kept me on the edge of my seat and in rapt attention. I cannot wait to go and see it again."

6. POOR THING 9/10
"Still, this is a truly unique, extraordinary and superb film worthy of your time."

7. ONE LIFE 9/10
"The cast is simply superb, led by Hopkins who brings so much emotion and empathy to the role that the whole film left me a sobbing wreck by the end."

8. THE TASTE OF THINGS 9/10
"A slow, elegant, meticulous movie, beautifully directed by Trần Anh Hùng. It looks glorious, the acting is naturalistic and refined. The relationship between Eugénie and Bouffant is moving and beautiful and I was as captivated by the cooking as I was by the romance at its centre."

9. A DIFFERENT MAN 9/10
"A unique, brilliant, funny and highly entertaining little movie and I urge you to see it! You'll not have see anything quite like it before."

10. THE HOLDOVERS 9/10
"A truly charming and wonderful character study with a real heart and a life-affirming ending." 

HONOURABLE MENTION

11. JOKER: FOLIE A DEUX 8/10
"Fantastic performances, wonderful songs and a film that shrugged off the usual superhero guff to deliver a film that in time will be seen as a classic."

ALL THE REST:

12. CONCLAVE 8/10

13. CUCKOO 8/10

14. INSIDE OUT 2 8/10

15. THE IRON CLAW 8/10

16. THE BIKERIDERS 8/10

17. THE APPRENTICE 8/10

18. KNEECAP 8/10

19. BETWEEN THE TEMPLES 8/10

20. AMERICAN FICTION 8/10

21. KINDS OF KINDNESS 8/10

22. DUNE 2 8/10

23. CIVIL WAR 8/10

24. QUIET PLACE: DAY ONE 8/10

25. WICKED 8/10

26. LATE NIGHT WITH THE DEVIL 8/10

27. DRIVE AWAY DOLLS 8/10

28. DEADPOOL & WOLVERINE 7/10

29. FALL GUY 7/10

30. WICKED LITTLE LETTERS 7/10

31. GODZILLA KISS KING KONG 7/10

32. HORIZON: AN AMERICAN SAGA 7/10

33. MONKEY MAN 7/10

34. THE CRITIC 7/10

35. ALIEN ROMULUS 6/10

36. BEEKEEPER 6/10

37. IF 6/10

38. DESPICABLE ME 4 6/10

39. THE FIRST OMEN

40. BEETLEJUICE BEETLEJUICE 6/10

41. LONGLEGS 6/10

42. BOY KILLS WORLD 6/10

43. TRAP 6/10

TOP TEN RE-ISSUES:

1. BLADE RUNNER 10/10

2. 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY 10/10

3. IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE 10/10

4. MAD MAX: FURY ROAD 10/10

5. THE MATRIX 10/10

6. OHMSS 10/10

7. PREDATOR 10/10

8. IRON GIANT 10/10

9. GLADIATOR 10/10

10. EMPIRE STRIKES BACK 10/10

OTHER RE-ISSUES SEEN

11. MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL 10/10

12. 10. CARRIE 10/10

13. COMMANDO 9/10

14. MARY POPPINS 9/10

15. BACK TO THE FUTURE II 9/10

16. STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE 9/10

17. RETURN OF THE JEDI 8/10

18. SPEED 8/10

19. CON AIR 7/10

20. DEMOLITION MAN 7/10

21. STAR WARS: THE PHANTOM DENNIS 4/10

WORST FILMS OF 2024 (IN DESCENDING ORDER)

10. KRAVEN'S NEWROUND 5/10
"A middling little romp where everyone involved, except for Russell Crowe, seems to be giving a solid 60%."

9. RED ONE 4/10
"At two hours it's a good two hours too long and has nothing to recommend it."

8. SIEZE THEM! 4/10
"WHO ORDERED THE SHIT SANDWICH?"

7. ARGYLLE 4/10
"The ending with its hateful sequel baiting leaves one not with a cry of 'oh boy', there's another one coming!' but rather than an 'oh god, there's another one coming!' groan of weariness."

6. ROAD HOUSE 4/10
"Bland, generic and what's the word? Oh yes, rubbish." 

5. GHOSTBUSTERS: FROAEN EMPIRE 3/10
"It's a dull greatest hits album performed by a third-rate tribute band."

4. MEGAPOOPISS 2/10
"A long, boring, exploration of something or other that's really not worth a moment of your time and certainly not 40 years of your life." 

3. BOREDLAND 2/10
"This is the dullest film I've seen since Madame Webb, which this isn't even bad enough to worse than. Bland, dull, and piss-awfully shit." 

2. MADAME WEB 2/10
"This is a film with nothing to recommend it." 

1. SALEM'S LOT 2/10
"It's one of those films that so bad, it's bad, and not bad in a good way, but bad in the way that freshly trodden on meat-heavy dog shit can smell bad, bad." 

FOOTNOTE:
This category was, as always, a hard fought battle, and Salem's Lot only won-out in the end because of my love of both the source material and the superb original TV mini-series, this effort stripped away all the nuance and backstory and left us with a cheap, stupid and empty experience. Otherwise Madame Web would have easily won as it truly was a wretched piece of shit.

TOP TEN MOST READ REVIEWS

POOR THING
GHOSTBUSTERS: FROZEN EMPIRE
DUNE 2
MADAME WEB
ARGYLL
FALL GUY
MEGAOPOLIS
DEADPOOL AND WOLVERINE
BORDERLANDS
CIVIL WAR
ALIEN: ROMULUS
STAR WARS: THE PHANTOM MENACE

#77: RED ONE

 

STARRING: Dwayne Johnson, Chris Evans, Lucy Liu and J.K. Simmons. Written in its' loosest terms by Chris Morgan from a story by Hiram Garcia. Directed by jake Kasdan. Budget $200-250 million. Running time 123 minutes. 

There's a game we play at work where you have to guess a film by which superheroes were in it. So, for example if you were to say Red One you'd go, "I'm trying to remember a film, it's got Black Adam, Captain America, Sabrina the Witch and Dr. Watson in it." And people would go, "please can you just get on with your work."
 
I've seen two Christmas films this week, this and It's a Wonderful Life. Can you guess which of those will still be remembered in 20 years as a stone-cold Christmas classic and which one won't?

Red One is a terribly dull and boring action adventure romp so generic that its plot was shop-bought and everyone involved seems to be reading their lines off of cue-cards just off camera, all the characters are paper thin tropes and the actual story is so convoluted and dreary it's really not worth synopsising. But if you must. Santa gets kidnapped and it's up to Dwayne Johnson's Elf to team up with a man who hates Christmas Chris Evans to battle a wicked witch, Gryla, played by Kiernan Shipka. She wants to punish all those people on the naughty list. That's about it. At two hours it's a good two hours too long and has nothing to recommend it. Dull and bland. Save two hours of your life and watch something altogether infinitely better, like It's a Wonderful Life, unquestionably the best Christmas movie ever made.

This on the other hand is one of the worst, right down there with Violent Night.

All that said, the slapping sequence with Krampus is funny, hence the score, but that's it really.

4/10

#76: KRAVEN THE NEWSROUND

 

STARRING: Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Ariana DeBose, Fred Hechinger, Alessandro Nivola, Christopher Abbott and Russell Crowe. Written by Richard Wenk, Art Marcum and Matt Holloway from a story by Richard Wenk. Budget $110-130 million. Running time 127 minutes.

This is a good news, bad news kinda film. First the good news. This is better than either Madame Web or Morbius. Now the bad news, that's really all it has going for it. That said, it's really not awful, terrible, or even that golden egg of all bad films, 'so bad, it's good', no sadly it's just mediocre. A middling little romp where everyone involved, except for Russell Crowe, seems to be giving a solid 60%. 

The film gives us the origin story of not one but two Marvel supervillians, although one of them is supposed to be a secret only revealed in the final scene, not that you'll care should you make it that far. Instead we get the story of how two boys brought up by the Russian Mafia father, Russell Crowe grew up damaged after the suicide of their mother lead the eldest Sergei to run away from home and live in a fabulous Eastern Russian forest along side a very judgement herd of bison. Cut to 16 years later and Sergrei has grown up to be Aaron Taylor-Johnson rocking the single worst American accent in living memory. Anyway, when he's not moping about angst-ridden cos of his dad he's killing bad men who are on his naughty list. 
Oh wait! I forgot, there's a bit where we see Sergrei get his superpowers. When he was a kid he got bitten by a big old lion and a girl whose grandmother did Tarot card readings gave her a bottle of magic potion which the girl poured into the mauled boy's mouth. And viola he gains magical powers of some sort which means he sort of communicates with animals, has super speed, strength and agility. Seriously.
Anyway back to the 16 years later and Sergei is now the feared Hunter who hunts down bad men and kills them. And his brother Dimitri played by Fred Hechinger, who just so happens to be an amazing mimic able to sound like anybody, runs a nightclub in London. So Sergei who's been avoiding his dad for 16 years turns up at his brother's birthday and there's an awkward reunion but the next day Dimitri is kidnapped by henchmen working for another Russian gangster called Alekse Sytsevich who just who happens to be Rhino. Anyway he wants The Hunter killed so he hires another person with super powers called The Foreigner who can cloud men's minds and then there's loads of running around London and Africa chasing after Dimitir, it all builds to a conclusion where people die who need to die and a final scene sees Sergei confront his father before Dimitri reveals his true identity as another supervillian, one whose ability to perfectly mimic another person makes him an ideal candidate for. 

That's the plot, I think, hard to remember I saw this film 2 hours ago and already it's just a dim memory.

I was struck by how shit the supporting actors were, how awful Aaron's woeful American accent was, I mean it's so jarring you're aware of it every time he opens his beautiful mouth. And just how pedestrian the whole thing is, how generic, how dull and bland. Added to that, the production values are boring, the special effects aren't that special and there's nothing really stand out or amazing, that's not to say that this is a terrible film, indeed if I had to praise one thing it would be Aaron Taylor Johnson whose fabulously honed body is a delight to oggle, it's obvious that between takes he's pumping his guns to perfection, and I'd happily watch him shirtless just posing really nice. And Russell Crowe is great value for money eating the scenery with a delightfully OTT performance, and giving everyone else a master class in how to steal a scene. Cos everyone else looks as uncomfortable as a first timer in an Am-Dram production of Les Mis.

Apart from that, this is an middling film, it's okay, it's a trifle too long. Plus there's no post credit sting. 

A disappointing but not hateful 5/10

#75: IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE

IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME! And once again, one of my favourite films of all-time is released at the cinema and so once again I've decided to reprint my previous review. 

Starring James Stewart, Donnna Reed, Lionel Barrymore, Thomas Mitchell, henry Travers, Beulah Bondi, Ward Bond, Frank Faylen and Gloria Grahame. Written by Fracnes Goodrich, Albert Hackett, Frank Capra and Joe Swerling. Directed by Frank Capra. Budget $3.5 million. Running time 131 minutes.

A one word review - Wonderful!

Just wonderful. Beautifully written, great direction and a superb performance by James Stewart. I just love this film. It's one of my five favourite Christmas movies along with A Christmas Story, Scrooge (1951) and Bad Santa and Die Hard.

Produced and directed by Frank Capra, it always amazes me to realise that on its release this film flopped, and only became a Christmas staple when first shown on American TVs in the 50s.

Seeing this restored version of IAWL on the big screen means you get to see things you probably missed if you've only watched it on a TV, count how many rooms the drawing of George lassoing the moon turns up for example, or better yet see if you can spot the newspaper headline declaring that 'Mr. Smith has won a nomination to go to Washington'.

Stewart is brilliant as George Bailey, the richest man in town. He portrays Bailey from the age of approximately 20 to late 40s and without the need for elaborate make up. He is the prototype Tom Hanks and it's on his performance that the whole film swings. That's to take nothing away from the supporting cast, lead by the Donna Reed, who all give this film its huge heart and character.

The story sees George Bailey, a man who sacrifices his own dreams and ambitions for the greater good of Bedford Falls, who when, through no fault of his own, faces financial ruin and imprisonment decides to kill himself. He is saved by a trainee angel who grants him his wish of never having been born and discovers just how much his life has touched the lives of so many others.

For a film that's nearly 75 years old to be this captivating, this engrossing and this magical is a pure triumph. As a callow art school youth I scoffed at this and Singing in the Rain, believing them to be old and fuddy-duddy, despite the fact I'd never actually watched them. And in both cases I stumbled across them whilst watching tv, I came in half-way through in both cases and was captivated by both and I love them to this day.

This film lifts my spirit and makes me feel deeply moved and I bloody love it without reserve.

The perfect Christmas movie and one of my actual Top Ten Movies of all times.

10/10 

#74: CONCLAVE

 

STARRING: Ralph Fiennes, Stanley Tucci, Johyn Lithgow, Sergio Castellitto and Isabella Rossellini. Screenplay by Peter Straughan, based on the novel by Robert Harris. Directed by Edward Berger. Budget $20 million. Running time 120 minutes.

When the old pope dies of a heart attack the Cardinals gather at the Vatican for a papal conclave to pick the next Holy Father under the watchful eye of Cardinal Dean Lawrence (Ralph Fiennes) who's put in place to manage the whole thing. There's main four men in the running, American liberal Cardinal Bellini (Stanley Tucci), Canadian moderate Cardinal Tremblay (John Lithgow), right-wing Italian Cardinal Tedesco (Sergio Castellitto) and conservative Nigerian Cardinal Adeyemi (Lucian Msamati) and added to that are Lawrence himself and a newbie Cardinal Cincent Benitez. What follows is a behind the scenes power struggle, which ignoring all Hollywood excesses, features no sinister deadly assassins bumping off people, no car chases, no roof-top chases, no hot nun–on-nun action and no final fight between Cardinal Dean Lawrence and an albino killer trying to protect the truth. 

Instead it's a beautifully nuanced and sedate drama as Cardinal Lawrence tries to manage the conclave whilst dealing with a series of dramas and rumours that threaten to prove somewhat problematic.

The trailer, as trailers do, paint this as a dramatic, and sinister conspiracy thriller, and while there is intrigue and a truth to be revealed, it's not a rip-roaring action packed drama. It's the sort of film where the ultimate pay off is surprising and satisfying, but the journey is what makes it worthwhile, subtle and mannered. 

This is a beautiful looking film, the locations and sets help ground this perfectly. The performances, particularly by Fiennes whose film this is, are superb and each of the four main contestants for the papal post bring real depth and are all excellent. The truth at the core of the film is an intriguing one and the political machinations of the four would-be popes is expertly handled. But it's the glimpse behind the scenes of the life of devoutly religious men and women that makes this such an entertaining film. Once you realise there won't be sinister papal assassins, or sexy nuns, or murder or conspiracies that threaten the whole world, and you settle into ebb and flow of Vatican life you should find yourself caught up in the subtle intrigue that threads through the whole thing and leaves you wondering at the end at all all that has unraveled. 

To be honest, I really can't fault this, it's the sort of film I find myself gravitating to and I thoroughly enjoyed it. 

8/10