#40: MICHAEL

 

STARRING: Jaafar Jackson, Nia Long, Laura Harrier, Juliano Krue Valdi, Miles Teller and Colman Domingo. Written by John Logan. Directed by Antoine Fuqua. Budget $170 million. Running time 127 minutes.

I gotta say I was kinda worried that the new Michael Jackson bio-pic, Michael would gloss over the child abuse allegations, so it's good to see they're tackling it right off the bat with the film poster.

And so to the film. It's 1967 and domestic bully and patriarch, Joseph Jackson (Colman Domingo), a steel worker forces his five sons to form a band he calls the Jackson 5, just think if there'd only been three of them, then pop history would probably know them as the Jackson 3, or the Jackson Trio, which doesn't quite have the same ring, unless he'd launched his own chocolate covered biscuit bar, but I imagine he'd have been sued by United Biscuits who made the Trio bar if he did. Anyway, he didn't and they didn't and so we're left with this, the sanitised, glamourised, homogenised, Hollywoodised telling of the Pedo-Prince of Pop's life story, glossing over any impropriety or uncomfortable truth with a thick veneer of adulation, idol-worship and undying love. Structured like a 21st Century version of 1954 Glenn Miller Story, this is the classic sugary-sweet, warts and all (minus the warts and all), rags-to-riches story of little MJ, the PPoP from wide-eyed adorable pop poppet to 'on the verge of universal acclaim' in 1988, just short of all those completely innocent multi-million dollar payouts Micky (as he loved to be called) made to a whole slew of children for no apparent reason, apparently, and most certainly not because he liked to share his bed with them, no siree. ANYHOO, back to the plot. Bad Dad Jackson beats the band into shape, literally, they're signed by Motown, they have sell-out concerts across the US, shift a literal shit-tonne of albums and become megastars. Then Michael gets his nose fixed, visits kids in hospital, decides to eradicate gang violence with music, invents the moonwalk, makes a video with zombies, then gets blown up in a Pepsi ad, which is why all cans of Pepsi carry a 'Highly Flammable' warning (check it out if you don't believe me), and then Mikey does one more performance with his fam before finally setting off solo to make his fortune, build a creepy one-man fun fair and zoo and go slowly mad.

The trouble is this film is just the sugar coating, according to it, there's nothing to tarnish Jackson, or at least nothing worth noting and it's galling. I'm sure that if you're a fan of MJ then this film will be a masterpiece, a stunning celebration to him and his legacy but for the rest of us not blinded by his godhead, what of us?  

Well for me going in I thought that with the exception of Thriller, I wasn't a fan of his work and was pleasantly surprised to discover that actually I liked quite a lot of it, well the Jackson 5 stuff anyway, the pure Jackson stuff leaves me cold, a bit like this film did. It's well directed by Antoine Fuqua whose Equalizer trilogy I very much liked, and the performances are good, particularly Domingo and Jaafar Jackson, but there was no real depth to the proceedings, this is all surface, with the odd glimpse of something more, and it all feels a lot like a light paddle rather than a deep dive. I found the section with the young Michael Jackson by far the most interesting and entertaining but got a little bored by the adult Michael and his slow rise to the top, which plays like a 1950s biopic. Even his near death experience while making the Pepsi commercial feels inconsequential and the vague mention of painkillers that would come to rue his life is done in the same casual manner. Finally when from his hospital bed he declares his divine vision for the future I kinda lost my patience with it all. 

This is a music video compilation of his greatest hits. Not as terrible as critics had been claiming, while not as joyous as The Queen biopic Bohemian Rhapsody, it's far more enjoyable than Rocket Man. If you're a diehard fan of Michael Jackson you'll have a good time the rest of you will probably wonder what all the fuss was about. And so this gets a 6/10.

FOOTNOTE.

If Elvis was the King of Rock 'n' Roll, and Madonna was the Queen of Pop, then surely Michael Jackson should have been known as the Duke of York of Pop and not the Prince?*

*And before any smart Alecks out there tell me he was known as the King of Pop and not the Prince of Pop, I don't care, it works better for my rather excellent gag. 

#39: AKIRA

 

STARRING: (Voice actors) Mitsuo Iwata, Nozomu Sasaki, Nami Koyama, Taro Ishida, Tesshō Genda, Derek Smith, Mizhuo Suzuki, Tatsuhiko Nakamura, Fukue Itō and Kazuhiro Shindō. Based on Akira manga by Katsuhiro Otomo. Screenplay by Katsuhiro Otomo and Iao Hashimoto. Produced by Ryōhei Suzuki and Shunzō Katō. Directed by Katsuhiro Otomo. Cinematography Katsuji Misawa. Edited by Takeshi Seyama. Music by Shōji Yamashiro. Budget $5.7 million. Boxoffice $49 million. Running time 124 minutes. Originally released in 1988.

All together now, "CANADA!!!!"

Outside the oeuvre of Studio Ghibli and K-Pop Demon Hunters, Akira and is perhaps the most famous anime of all-times, it's certainly the most influential and epoch making. The story involving mutant albino midgets, mind altering drugs, Japanese biker gangs, covert military organisations and telekinesis would take longer to successfully synopsis than to watch so you'll have to trust me on this. This is fantastic! An absolute thrill ride, a bat-shit bonkers, relentless kinetic, roaring masterclass in animation. 

Go and see this if you can up there on the big screen and absolutely marvel at the fact that this bad boy is hand drawn! There's not a shred of CGI for a million miles. The animation is perfection itself, gasp at the motorbike chase through the city, the scale and ambition of it all, the pounding soundtrack and spot how many times you've seen this film ripped off by other pale imitators, live-action and anime alike. This didn't just rip up the book on what an animated film could do, it also wrote a whole new book on animation and then ripped that one up too! 

For years Hollywood has unsuccessfully tried to make a live-action remake of this film and failed, and for the simple reason that it can't be done. This does things with paint and ink that look sublime. Its success lies in the fact it's approached as if it was live-action hi-octane action film, with machine gun rapid editing, dazzling cinematography, and a pulse pumping soundtrack. Plus, it's without doubt one of the greatest science fiction films ever made! 

It's cultural impact cannot be understated. It's gone on to influence films, animation, comics, video games and popular culture and was the spearhead in the explosion of Japanese popular culture in the west back in the late 1980s and heralded the surge of popularity in anime and all thing Asian.

The funny thing is I've written all that from memory as I've not yet been to the cinema to see it. In fact I'm off tomorrow night, so I'm going to sign off here and return post film and conclude my review. Will be I still feel the same about it? 

BY GOD THAT WAS IMPRESSIVE! I'd forgotten the neon lights, the music, the violence, the animation, the vision of Otomo and the sheer energy of it all. Oh, and that amazing motorbike of Kanada, that sideways skid, so copied and imitated, this is a 38 year old animated movie that makes a mockery of most of the present CGI animated movies that get thrown at us, and Hollywood has never made an animated film this adult. It's lost none of its power, it truly is a technical marvel. 

10/10

FOOTNOTE

I just realised something. One of the first things we spot in movies is bad CGI animation, think the awful train hopping Indiana Jones in Diarrhea of Destiny as an example. There's a bad bit in the new Mortal Combat II where we spy a group of fighters battling on a mountain top arena, the animation is off, the timing wrong. It sticks out cos we can't help but spot it. But Akira, there is not one single piece of duff animation, it is pure perfection, and to think it was done using traditional techniques. 

#38: STAND BY ME

 

STARRING: Wil Wheaton, River Phoenix, Corey Feldman, Jerry O'Connell, Kiefer Sutherland, Richard Drefyus and John Cusack. Screenplay by Raynold Gideon and Bruce A. Evans. Based on the Stephen King novella The Body. Budget $8 million. Box office $52 million. Running time 89 minutes. Originally released in 1986.

Set in 1959, this coming-of-age drama, sees four friends on the cusp of secondary school, set off on a quest to find the dead body of a missing boy reportedly lying along a stretch of railway track. The four friends, Gordie (Wil Wheaton), Chris (River Phoenix), Teddy (Corey Feldman) and Vern (Jerry O'Connell) set off one morning with just $1.69 in their pockets, a couple of canteens of water and some bedrolls slung over their shoulders and stroll off along the railway track, singing, bickering, fighting, falling-out, reconciling and doing battle with not one but two trains. Along the way we learn about their lives, their dreams,  aspirations and the sorrow in their souls, and all the time the town psycho, uber-bully and knife-wielding gang-leader Ace Merrill (Kiefer Sutherland) dogs their progress threatening violence. This is a bitter-sweet quest as if the four friends know that the spectre of change hangs over their young lives and that this final summer outing before 'big school' will be their last as friends.

Directed by Rob Reiner with care, consideration and restraint he avoids making this a wacky Goonies style adventure instead focusing on the power of raw emotions on young minds. This is a tight film running to a brisk 89 minutes but never feels hurried or rushed. Interspersed with a legendary story about a pie-eating contest, a battle with leeches, and the genuinely poignant discovery of the dead body of the boy which triggers emotions in both Gordie as he remembers the funeral of his much loved brother Denny (John Cusack)when his father turns to him and says, "It should have been you." and I found myself thinking about my sister and found myself missing her as much as Gordie misses his brother. It made the scene immensely moving.

The most powerful thing you take away from this, or at least I took away from it, was just how astonishingly good River Phoenix was as an actor, by god that boy could act! He brings a level of believability to the role that staggers belief. And of the four child actors he is the best by a country mile. In direct contrast to Corey Feldman who acts with all the subtly and charm of a brick thrown through a plate glass window. Wil Wheaton also performs very well and gives the film its emotional core. Sadly, Jerry O'Connell has the thankless role of token 'fat boy' and has to weather the almost endless abuse hurled at him by all and sundry. 

A moving, joyful and beautifully produced film that will never age. 30 years old and still going strong. Catch it if you can.

9/10

#37: AMÉLIE

STARRING: Audrey Tautou, Mathieu Kassovitz, Rufus, Lorella Cravotta, Serge Merlin, Jamel Debbouze, Clair Maurier, Clotilde Mollet, Isabelle Nanty, Dominique Pinon, Arfus de Penguern, Yolande Moreau, Urbain Cancelier and Maurice Bénichou. Cinematography by Bruno Delbonnel. Edited by Hervé Schneid. Music by Uann Tiersen. Story by Guillaume Laurant and Jean-Pierre Juenet. Directed and screenplay by Jean-Pieree Jeunet. Budget $10 million. Running time 123 minutes. World wide box office $174.4 million. Originally released in 2001.

Quite possibly the most charming, sweet, adorable, whimsical and spellbindingly romantic movie ever made and also quite possibly the best French film EVER made. FACT! It tells the story of quirky Amélie Poulain who moves to Montmartre to work in a typical French Café and decides to help the small group of people who've become her surrogate family, before finding unexpected love in a photo-booth.

I would actually call this sublime, it's a wonderful film that put a smile on my face, that lasted the whole film, from the opening seconds when we actually  watch Amélie conceived, through her unhappy childhood and finally her escape to Paris when she's an adult. It's all so overwhelmingly charming that it's impossible to find fault with it, there's an energy that veritably pulses off the screen, the camera and direction dance with the joy. The cast, every single goddam one of them brings something to the mix, with a naturalistic ease. And through it all, beaming like a 10,000 lumem bulb, dances the beating heart of the film, Audry Tautou's Amélie, so effervescent she could out shine the sun. God, the camera loves her as she commands every close-up. Think of the film as a series of mini adventures as Amélie secretly orchestrates events to help those closest to her find love. 

Drop everything and see this now. 

10/10

#36: FUZE

 

STARRING: Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Theo James, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Sam Worthington, Saffron Hocking, Elham Ehsas and Honor Swinton Bryne. Written Ben Hopkins. Directed by David Mackenzie. Running time 96 minutes.

When an unexploded WWII bomb is found on a building site, a square mile of London is evacuated and cordoned off by the PoPo while Major Will Tranter (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) and his crack unit tries to defuse it. Meanwhile Karalis (Theo James) and 'X' (Sam Worthington) along with their band of professional bank robbers start drilling into the vault of a bank through a basement connecting wall in Edgeware Rd. But how did they know the bomb was there?

Bloody hell that was surprisingly exciting, twisty and turny. Produced by Sky and filmed in and around London, this looked like being any old generic police TV drama, but quickly revealed itself to be anything but. A great cast, a fast-paced script and a plot that keeps you guessing right up to the end. This was described as the perfect Dad movie and I couldn't agree more. I really enjoyed it and for once I couldn't guess the ending. It's no spoiler to tell you that the actual completion of the robbery is only the start of this gripping, tense and fantastically action packed thriller and that it's well worth a punt!

What with this and Crime 101 and Shelter 2026 is shaping up to be a good year for action thrillers.  

8/10

#34: THE MAGIC NOT FAR ENOUGH AWAY TREE

 

STARRING: Andrew Garfield, Claire Foy, Phoenix Laroche, Delilah Bennett-Cardy, Billie Gadsdon, Tom Johnson, Nonso Anozie, Jessica Gunning, Dustin Demri-Burns, Mark Heap, Simon Farnaby, Rebecca Ferguson, Michael Palin, Simon Russell Beale, Lenny Henry, Nicola Coughlan, Jessica Gunning and Jennifer Saunders. Screenplay by Simon Farnaby. Directed by Ben Gregor. Budget $80 million. Running time 110 minutes.

Stay at home husband, Tim (Andrew Garfield) and newly fired fridge designer Polly (Clair Foy) give up their hi-tech lives in the city and drag their three technology addicted children, Beth, Fran and Joe off to live in a barn in the country. There they find the Magic Faraway Tree and lots of lovely bonding and family related stuff happen, with lots of sugary delights and happy life lessons learned and there's even a family song that gets sung a lot. 

Not going to lie to you, I fucking hated this ghastly, sugary, sweet, twee and sickly sentimental sac of shit, the kids who all need a bloody good slap of reality, the generic locals they're all just so hateful. And then there's Andrew Garfield who comes out of this worst, his gurning, mugging little stupid face all bearded up and soppy, offering up a pathetically gentle and kind advice and support to his hideous family of over privileged stereo-typical ankle bitters. Who all come to turn on their tech-obsessed lives and embrace their father's life-long dream of selling home-made faux-Italian tomato sauce, while mum Clair Foy gives up on her previous life of industrial designer to become the stay-at-home-mum building a jerry-rigged green house in the garden. Oh then Jennifer Saunders arrives as Polly's mum to be the obligatory villain. Actually, I gotta say, Claire Foy is really good in this, you can see her professionalism shining through as she thinks about her mortgage getting paid for the next year or so off the back of this and good luck to her!

If only the film had been half as magical as the poster, which, to me, promises a magical land of adventure, not a trip to a giant fucking sweet shop. If only it had embraced the magical realm of the tree and ditched the generic, off-the-peg plot with its perfect three-act structure and life lessons learned, if only the kids got lost in a magical faraway land, while their parents search for them, but oh no what we get are kids getting magical wishes then trying to unwish them with the usual shits and giggles. I know I'm probably in the minority on this one, but there were just too many things in this that just continued to kick me in the mental pom-poms, like the forementioned Garfield who's just too smug and syrupy to be any good, the just absolutely awful one trick pony, Nicola Coughlan as Silky the earth-bound fairy, who just gets worst in everything she does. 

Apart from the horrible script and actors, the effects are okay. I kept thinking that if only this had been made by Terry Gilliam back in the 1980s it would have been a stone cold classic, but this sickly sweet confectionary of fairy tale tropes and tweeness is guaranteed to give you mental diabetes. 

But it's not all bad, thank the gods for the work of Dustin Demri-Burns as the Saucepan Man, Nonso Anozie as Moonface, Oliver Chris as Mr. Watzisname and Jessica Gunning as Dame Washalot and indeed all the magical characters, who are great, funny, unique and entertaining. 

Give me The Never Ending Story any day over this candy-floss nightmare. 

4/10

#33: THE DRAMA

 

STARRING: Zendaya, Robert Pattinson, Alana Haim, Mamoudou Athie and Hailey Gates. Written and directed by Kristoffer Borgli. Budget $28 million. Running time 105 minutes.

On the verge of their wedding, very much in love museum director Charlie Thompson (Robert Pattinson) and fiancee bookshop clerk Emma Harwood (Zendaya) go out with their friends, Rachel, Emma's Maid of Honour (Alana Haim) and Best Man, Mike (Mamoudou Athie) for a evening of wine tasting and while all are merrily imbued with fine wines and alcohol they all decide to play a game of 'What's the worst thing you've ever done?' For Charlie, Rachel and Mike their revelations reveal pranking a retarded kid, cyber-bullying a class mate, and using a girlfriend as a shield during a dog attack. However Emma's admission is so shocking and unexpected it triggers a series of terrible events that puts the whole marriage to be in jeopardy.

And that's enough of the plot, I wouldn't want to spoil it for you. This is a grown up, very well acted (very well acted indeed) with outstanding performances from both Pattinson and Zendaya. Pattinson gets the lion share of the screentime the film more intrigued with how Charlie reacts to Emma's 'truth', and its impact on their entire relationship is clearly deeply profound, as we see his mental struggles with it leading to a series of increasingly cringe-worthy events that build until you're squirming in your seat and watching through your fingers. They share a powerful chemistry which helps to make the conceit work, you believe these two love each other and are in a real relationship and the film takes its time to show how it all began, developed and then what happens next...

Because I don't want to spoil the reveal of the film I'm somewhat hamstrung by what I can say. So I'll get the superlatives out of the way first. I loved the look of the film, it all seems to have been shot on location and that gives the film a really intimate feel, from the homely feel of the couple's New York home, to their work places and finally the wedding venue. It sounds an odd thing to point out, but it really helps, I've seen so many TV dramas using hideous IKEA based sets that completely kills the sense of reality, not so here. Borgli directs brilliantly, he grants us access to the mental anguish Pattinson struggles with clever visual imaginings and editing, and flash backs to Emma's childhood help to sell the shocking revelation.     

The odd thing about this is that the 'shocking' reveal doesn't really feel that shocking for a UK audience, I can see how American audiences would be more impacted by it, but to me, whilst the reveal is surprising, when you find out what happened next one find yourself admiring her for her truth and puzzled why no one else can see it, or perhaps that's just me. 

Anyway, it has a fantastically funny impact and the wedding unravels spectacularly and unexpectedly.  

I enjoyed this greatly, it's bloody well acted, with great direction and an excellent script, it's filled with shocks, surprises and cringe worthy incident a plenty. Try and avoid any mentions or discussions of this and see it as soon as possible before someone spoils it for you. The great thing is that once again, this film will generate much discussion afterwards. 

After this, Splitsville and Sentimental Value relationship based films might just have become my new favourite genre.

9/10