#71: BACK TO THE FUTURE II

Starring Michael J. Fox, Christopher Lloyd, Lea Thompson and Thomas F. Wilson. Written by Bob Gale, story by Robert Aemeckis and Bob Gale. Directed by Robert Zemeckis. Budget $40 million. Running time 108 minutes. Originally released in 1989. 

Marty McFly and girlfriend, Jennifer Parker get whisked back to the future by Doc Emmet Brown to save their future and in doing so drastically change the future and force our intrepid heroes to embark on a relentless, break-neck-speed frantic adventure that never stops for a single second until the fantastic cliffhanger ending and the glimpse of part three!

Bloody hell! What a ride, filled to the brim with incident and action, They sure don't make films like this any more. Filled with amazing attention to detail, action, and some brilliant characters and action this film flits from 1985 to 2015, then back to a dystopic 1985 before a return to 1955 at such a pace you're left dizzy and battered. Of the three, this is my least favourite, I much prefer the third chapter to this, but you can't fault its ambition, scope or skill. Zemeckis directs with fantastic verve and the performances from everyone are fantastic, perhaps none more so than Thomas F. Wilson who plays four versions of the same character with real skill, giving each initiation of Griff a real believability. 

Sure the effects are a little ropey by today's standards, but the brilliant use of split screens are superb. And the brisk, tightly plotted 108 minute running time flashes by expertly.

Thoroughly enjoyable and massively entertaining, if just a little too relentless, loud, and a tad too mean spirited, but as ever great to see it back on the big screen and that as always elevates these films wonderfully. 

9/10

#72: GLAD HE ATE HER TOO

 

GLAD HE ATE HER TOO!

Starring: Paul Mescal, Pedro Pascal, Joseph Quinn, Fred Hechinger, Denzel Washington, Connie Nielsen, Derek Jacobi, Lior Raz, Tim Mcinnery and Matt Lucas. Written by David Scarpa, based on a story by Peter Creaig and David Scarpa featuring characters created by David Franzoni. Directed by Ridley Scott. Budget $310 million dollars, running time 148 minutes long. 

Hot on the heels of the original arrives, just 25 years later, this – Glad He Ate Her Too, the continuing adventures of a different gladiator caught up in the same shit twice. The story sees human vaccum, Paul Mescal (who?) valiantly trying to fill the sandals of Russell Crowe and failing spectacularly as he loses a war against a Roman fleet lead by Pedro Pascal, gets captured, then sent to fight in arenas until his success sees him transported to Rome to fight for the pleasure of not one, but two emperors (Joseph Quinn and Fred Hechinger), both whom are clearly on the looney spectrum and make Caligula look like a primary school teacher. 

ANYWAY Mecal, waddles from one fight after another which promise much but delivers little. We learn that incredibly he's a survivor from the first film (not the only one, there are two others, Connie Nielsen and Derek Jacobi) and he becomes the pawn in their political manoeuvring. By a weird state of affairs, there's an army camped just outside Rome waiting for a leader to bring revolution to the city of Rome, just like in the first film. However this time we have the added value of Denzel Washington who's also not playing by the rules and he's rather keen on ruling the whole ruddy edifice and he doesn't care whose carcass he needs to climb over to achieve it. Then add to that melting pot the following: occassional stabby stabby in the arena, poe faced English actors machinating politically, earnest looking gladiators waiting to die for your pleasure, and loads of hilarious historically anachronistic moments including Romans reading newspapers while drinking coffees, playing football with goal posts, and using mobile phones to book Ubers.

I've been looking forward to this and was getting very excited, it's not often the most expensive film ever made (up to this point) arrives at the box office and I was eager to see it. This film cost $310 million to make and that's a conservative estimate. 'They' say that with promotion, and marketing you can double the budget, so that $310 now becomes $620 and 'They' also say that for a film to make a profit it needs to double that number, so Glad He Ate her Too will need to make $1.4 billion just to break even. Good luck.

It's a spectacularly mounted film, as ever expertly directed by Ridley 'I'm 86' Scott, and looking glorious thanks to fantastic life-size sets and CGI, the cast mostly excel with Denzel and Pedro taking the joint crown for MVP, while some feel tragically wasted (Derek Jacobi) others shine in small roles (Matt Lucas). Scott yet again shepherds the epic scope with consummate skill, and it's not really his fault that this film just doesn't quite fly, sure it gets up to take off speed, and once or twice the wheels momentarily leave the ground but then the sheer weight of the whole thing causes this massive beast to bounce back to the ground, and the sad fact is that Paul Mescal just does not have the same power or presence as Crowe to make this film soar like the original, and despite the added bulk, he looks more like a slightly petulant school boy, rather than a battle-hardened Roman general of Crowe and his motivation for revenge - his wife is killed in combat in front of him, doesn't carry the same seeds of revenge as Maximus Meridius watching the burned corpses of this beloved wife and son hanging from the gutted ruins of his estate having been murdered on the orders of a ruthless emperor. 

Similarly call me old-fashioned but when a film comes along called Gladiator II I kinda want to see some spectacular arena action, you know like what was hinted at in the trailer, and not when you finally get to one of three scenes of action discover it's all over before you have time to wedge a single fist-full of popcorn in to your gapping maw. Cos it's time for more political machinations and intrigue. 

It's a cruel twist of fate that the most interesting character in this whole thing, Pedro Pascal, doesn't get more screen time, cos he's fantastic. And Denzel who chews up the scenery like a pro brings some great menace and intrigue to the role, while Tim McInnerny delivers another perfectly slimly character in the guise of Senator Thraex.

This is by no means a bad film, it just felt a little un-engaging, it never grips like the original, the political intrigue feels shoe-horned in, it doesn't feel as epic, sure there's spectacle but I wanted more action, or at least I wanted the action hinted at to be longer. This is a fantastically good-looking film, made more so by the fact Ridley directed this whole thing in 52 days! 

I wanted to love this, I really did, but sadly it fizzled rather than banged and by the end, when it finally rolls to a stop, I found myself somewhat bored and a little deflated. And unlike the first, I was not entirely entertained. 

7/10

#70: CARRIE

 

STARRING: Sissy Spacek, John Travolta, Nancy Allen, Amy Irving and Piper Laurie. Screenplay by Lawrence D. Cohen and based on the book by Stephen King. Directed by Brian De Palma. Budget $1.8 million dollars. Running time 98 minutes. Originally released in 1976.

Carrie (Sissy Spacek) is a painfully shy 16 year-old loner who lives with her bible-bashing, religiously fanatical and clearly psychotic mother, Margaret (Piper Laurie). When Carrie experiences her first period whilst at school it triggers not only the awaking of her burgeoning telekinetic powers but also a series of events that will lead to an explosive showdown at the school prom and a bucket of pig's blood. 

Bloody hell, this is a fantastic horror film and features one of the greatest jump scares of all time, indeed it's so good it was selected for preservation in the Library of Congress for being culturally, historically or aesthetically significant.

First time I've ever seen this on the big screen. It's a fast film, 98 minutes, so there's no room for the subtlety of Stephen King's book but what we're left with is a masterclass in building tension and atmosphere. De Palma directs with power and consummate skill and the music helps to create a sense of building and impending doom, Sissy Spacek has never been better, staggeringly beautiful and genuinely intimidating, especially once her powers have manifested, it's fascinating to see that Carrie isn't a victim in the true sense of the word, once her powers begin to emerge, Carrie becomes a stronger character and there's that tragic realisation that if only the Prom that creates her had played out differently it would also have saved her. 

The whole cast is great too, Piper Laurie is deeply unsettling as Carrie's horrific mother and yet when we get a glimpse of her back story we feel empathy for her.  The final act of this film, as Carrie returns home to confront her mother is powerful and tragic in equal measure.

Similarly, John Travolta relationship with Nancy Allen is fascinating and the casual physical abuse and cunning manipulation displayed by both characters cleverly hints at a deeply nuanced world. And her control of her thuggish, stupid boyfriend and her friends show her to be the true villain of the piece.  

A power house performance and film, so deeply satisfying. 

10/10

#69: THE APPRENTICE

STARRING: Sebastian Stan, Jeremy Strong, Maria Bakalova and Martin Donovan. Written by Gabriel Sherman, directed by Ali Abbasi, cinematography Kasper Tuxen. Budget $16 million. Running time 123 minutes.

It's 1973 and dough-eyed and dough-bodied, mummy's boy Donnie Trump (Sebastian Stan) spends his days engaged in shaking down his slum tenants for overdue rent on behalf of his bullying, over-bearing oaf of a father, Fred (Martin Donovan). But secretly dreams of building the bestest and biggest ever building in the whole of Manhattan with his name emblazoned on it in the vain hope his father will finally acknowledge him and tell him he loves him. When he meets the legendary attorney Roy Cohn (Jeremy Strong) in an exclusive club his dreams start to come true, as the two men become friends, Cohn schools Donnie in the art of the deal and helps him to shed those last irritating shreds of decency and humanity all in the name of greed, gluttony and obscene wealth. 

The film follows the appalling rise and rise and rise of Donald Trump, the worst American President in history, a man of such consummate self-belief and avarice that he somehow made it seem like a virtue.

I often find myself during lunch times watching boat fail videos on Youtube, or compilations of rally car or super-car crashes, there's something both fascinating and horrifying about them and yet you can't look away. The same can be said of this, featuring as it does a man so repellent and despicable that you can never take your eyes off him, even as he raping his wife, paying off his suicidal brother, having sex with sex workers, or lying, cheating and clawing his way over everyone to slime his way to the top. You can't help but watch transfixed by the sight of a young Donnie Trump as he bloats his way through NY circa 1970-1980.

Of the film itself, well Sebastian Stan is simply superb and proves in both this and A Different Man to be an actor of great skill and depth. But it's Jeremy Strong who has to be seen to be believed, bringing a horrific malevolence and diabolical energy to his portrayal of  Roy Cohn making him one of the scariest movie villains of all times, like a human shark and yet at the same time imbue-ding him with a sense of fragility, particularly as his health declines. Similarly the look and direction of this aren't flashy or gimmicky, allowing the characters to shine and boy do they shine. 

The cinematography by Kasper Tuxen is perfect capturing the era with a grainy light effect and making it feel as if it was shot in the 70s, the production design too is impressive and the use of vintage footage. 

As the film progresses we see the birth of Donnie's many mannerisms and physical ticks that Stan captures with subtlety, we also see the birth of a friendship between Donnie and Cohn that grows to become all consuming and we see how true the old saying power corrupts as Donnie sheds the last semblance of humanity as his greed takes over completely. 

This is a film you can't take your eyes off, it's horribly compelling and deeply unsettling and perfectly displays the birth of a real life supervillain. 

8/10

#68: SALEM'S LOT

STARRING: Lewis Pullman, Makenzie Leigh, Alfre Woodard, John Benjamin Hickey, Bill Camp. Written and directed by Gary Dauberman. Running time 113 minutes.

Writer Ben Mears (Lewis Pullman) returns to his childhood town of Jerusalem's Lot to research something or other to do with his parents who died when he was a child in a car crash and a creepy old house that over looks the town owned by the mysterious Mr Straker and a man called Barlow, who own the local antique shop. Then people start going missing and no one seems to care, whole families die, but no one investigates. Then Ben sort of finds out vampires are responsible and so puts together a team of vampire hunters that includes his girlfriend (Makenzie Leigh), the only attractive young woman in the town, a school teacher (Bill Camp) a child soldier (Jordan Preston) and the town doctor (Alfre Woodard) who only have 5 minutes of each day to try and stop the vampire menace before you know shade occurs due to the setting sun. Then the film limps to a showdown so dull and boring that you feel as if your own will to live has been drained from your body. 

Filled with characters doing stupid things regardless of the evidence presented to them, where our heroes split up with just 5 minutes to go till sundown, where kills happen off camera, and events aren't so much telegraphed but actually high-lighted by huge neon signs that flash 'this is important for later'.

Look, I can't be arsed to rant about this pathetic piece of shit poor excuse for a movie, it's shit. Lazy, boring, and horribly bland. There's no depth to it and all the glorious world building of Stephen King's book is dumped for a series of pathetic jump scares that don't jump and don't scare. It's all filmed with energy saving low wattage bulbs and features a group of characters who are so staggeringly stupid that they deserve to die at the hands of vampires. 

The ending, or showdown when it finally rolls slowly round the corner is so obvious I guessed not just the location of the vampire horde, but how the young boy soldier would kill all of the vampires in one go. And then the final boss battle is over so quickly you're left surprised assuming there's something more to come, but thank the fucking lord there isn't and you can escape back into the light.

Everytime 'they' remake a Stephen King movie they get it wrong, Firestarter, Carrie, Pet Semetary spring to mind. How anyone can get this so wrong is very sad, the 1980s TV mini-series with David Soul and James Mason is infinitely superior and I urge you to watch that over this pile of steaming, excrement.

Truly this is one of the worst films I've seen all year and has nothing to recommend it. It's one of those films that so bad, it's bad, and not bad in a good way, but bad in the way that freshly trodden on dog shit can smell bad, bad. 

2/10  

#67: JOKER: FOLIE à DEUX

STARRING: Joaquin Phoenix, Lady Gaga, Brendan Gleeson, Catherine Keener, Zazie Beetz, Steve Coogan, Harry Lawtey and Leigh Gill. Written by Scott Silver and Todd Phillips, directed by Todd Phillips. Budget $200 million. Running time 138 minutes.

The plot sees a heavy withdrawn and depressed Arthur Fleck an inmate at Arkham State Hospital awaiting his day in court for the crimes he committed two years earlier in the first film, Joker, where he killed six people, including executing Murray Franklin (Robert DeNiro) on live TV. His lawyer, Maryanne Stewart (Catherin Keener) is doing her damndest to help him and determined to show that Arthur suffers from dissociative identity disorder and not responsible for his actions. Jackie Sullivan (Brendan Gleeson) a prison guard who tries to help Arthur for his good behaviour enrols him in some music therapy where he meets uber Joker fan, Harleen 'Lee' Quinzel (Lady Gaga) and a romance begins. She re-ignites his joie de vie. The court case begins with Harvey Dent leading the prosecution and Joker begins to come back, however, Arthur sacks his lawyer and defends himself leading to an explosive closing statement that sees Arthur admit the truth. He returns to Arkham and his destiny.

This starts with a wonderful animated sequence in the style of an old Loony Tunes cartoon expertly animated and directed by Sylvain Chomet, the French genius behind the truly wonderful Triplets of Belleville. In the short, Joker is tormented by his own shadow who ends up getting Arthur arrested. Having read all the reviews and talked to people who'd been to see this I went in expecting to watch a two hour 20 minute, $200 million train wreck. 

My expectations were extremely low, I mean I hated 2019's Joker, I mean HATED it, nihilistic, miserbale and deeply depressing. I'd heard how badly it had done box office wise not even making $40 million on its opening weekend, and the fact it had the lowest score for any superhero film and I was sold. I saw it at 11:00am on a cold Sunday with my daughter in tow, her too expecting a trainwreck.

How wrong we were!

The film starts with the animated sequence, which was wonderful, and I wondered when it would start going down hill and it didn't, the introduction of Harley Quinn arrived and that too didn't suck, much has been said about the fact that this was nothing but a musical and so I thought that when the songs started I would begin to hate it, but I didn't, I heard that the court room drama was dragged out and boring, and although it did slow the film down it didn't suck and then I heard that the ending had left audiences losing their collective minds in rage and shock, but if you'd watched the film, you knew what was coming and when it did, I was delighted by it's guts. Critics have moaned that Lady Gaga isn't used enough, and to that I would agree but would say this film is about Joker and she was never going to be more than a co-star. 

Gritty, moody, mean, edgy and at times touching and poignant, Joaquin Phoenix is superb, Lady Gaga is committed and excellent, Brendan Gleeson, who offers the only glimpse of hope is superb, the direction by Todd Phillips is divine and the cinematography by Lawrence Sher is gorgeous. The film dips in and out of Arthur's imagination with glimpses of a TV special featuring him and Quinn where the sing and dance, and the musical numbers which never feel jarring or out of place add real depth and emotion to the film, there's a hearbreaking sequence where Arthur sings a message to Quinn which she listens to on her answer phone machine. 

Honestly I was captivated by this film, was swept up by heart, and the doomed romance at its centre, by the journey of Arthur as he struggles with his Joker duality, and the shocking ending perfectly fitted the tone and shape of this film. 

It's been postulated that Todd Phillips and Joaquin Phoenix had no desire to make a sequel and went out of their way to destroy the legend of the two Oscar winning, Billion dollar box office Joker. A film that cost 'just' $60 million to make, a third of what this did. But up there on the big screen is no sign of loathing, no sign of two men sabotaging their legacy, to me it seems like a genuine attempt to do something more, something new with the film and would make it shine and for me it more than shined, it exploded like a supernova!

Fantastic performances, wonderful songs and a film that shrugged off the usual superhero guff to deliver a film that in time will be seen as a classic, if there's justice in this world.

8/10 

#66: GLADIATOR

STARRING: Russell Crowe, Joaquin Phoenix, Connie Nielsen, Oliver Reed, Derek Jacobi, Djimon Hounsou and Richard Harris. Written by David Franzoni, John Logan and William Nicholson. Directed by Ridley Scott. Budget $103 million. Running time 155 minutes. First released in 2000.

It's 180AD, and Russell Crowe is Roman general Maximus Decimus Meridius, Rome's bestest general -E-VER! and he's only gone and beat Rome's last enemy, the Germanic tribes, on behalf of his boss, surrogate father, and emperor, Marcus Aurelius (Richard Harris). To reward his adoptive son, Marcus offers him the job of Caeser much to the chagrin of his real son, Commodus (Joaquin Phoenix) who up and kills his father and usurps the throne before Maxie has time to take up the post, then tries to have him killed. Badly wounded, Maximus escapes to find his family slaughtered and himself captured and sold into slavery to a gladiator school run by Oliver Reed's Proximo. From then on, Maximus, masquerading as the Spaniard, hacks and slashes his way to fame and glory and back to Rome to lead an uprising against Commodus in the Colosseum.

Bloody hell! What a year for re-issues at the cinema! Films I never thought I'd ever see back up on the big screen and this is one of them. Still as fresh as it was 24 years ago. I've watched this many times at home on DVD and Blu-Ray, but once again, it's only when it's back up on the big screen that it truly comes back to life. At home, your mind wanders, you pause for coffee and bog breaks, you might even stop to go and do something else, or worse yet pause it, to finish it off another time. But not so when you're sat in the biggest screen in your local cinema where you find yourself immersed in a film that fills your peripheral vision to such an extent that you forget you're in a cinema.

What a spectacle! I'd come to this after rewatching the classic Cleopatra with Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Burton and Rex Harrison, so I was well up for another dose of Roman epicness and boy does this deliver. Powerfully acted by Harris, Reed, Phoenix and Russell, who's perhaps only ever been better in La Confidential. Under Ridley Scott's expert direction this film looks the part and apart from the odd bit of dodgy CGI it's a visual masterpiece. The fights in the Colosseum are spectacular, savage, brutal and gory, the big location sets feel real filled with hordes of people that look and move so convincingly you can almost smell the stench of old Rome. 

The story is full-blown epic, and looks like the 103 million dollars it cost to make, but the money looks like it's been spent up there on the big screen. 

This was a deeply satisfying, and glorious romp and I loved every second. Roll on part 2!

10/10