#32: SPLITSVILLE

 

STARRING: Dakota Johnson, Adria Arjona, Michael Angelo Covino and Kyle Marvin. Written by Michael Angelo Covino and Kyle Marvin. Directed by Michael Angelo Covino. Running time 104 minutes.

The plot follows two American couples, newly married life coach Ashley (Adria Arjona) and private school teacher Carey (Kyle Marvin) and their seriously well off friends, potter Julie (Dakota Johnson) and real estate developer Paul (Michael Angelo Covino). When after just 13 months of marriage Ashley tells Carey she wants a divorce she sets into motion an insane series of events that will break up and make relationships in the most unexpected fashion. Expect outrageous fights, multiple cases of eyebrow abuse, car crashes, dog poo, a veritable massacre of gold fish, a surprising amount of dick, brilliant dialogue and some fanstically clever sight gags, check out the portraits behind the Headmaster in his office. The film is peppered with great gags, additional characters and humour drier than a desert.

Writer, director and co-star Michael Angelo Covino delivers a truly and fantastically funny and chaotic comedy about modern relationships, he doesn't take the lead role, that falls to Kyle Marvin, but he does take perhaps the funniest, Paul, who proudly claims that his marriage to Julie is an 'open one', and that both partners are free to take lovers if and when they choose. Trouble is that when he finds out his best friend, Carey has slept with his wife he loses control and the proceeding fight almost destroys his fabulous lake side house. But that's just the beginning, thrown into the mix is Carey who has an unexpected and unusual solution to his wife leaving him, he moves back home and befriends her multiple lovers inviting them to move in with them. 

And even that much information isn't spoiling the film, this really was genuinely funny with a great cast. I gotta say that I've always thought that Dakota Johnson wasn't any good, I thought she was downright atrocious in Madame Web but here she absolutely shines, she's the brilliant centre of this film around all the other cast seem to gravitate to, perhaps because she's the only grown-up in this group. But kudos to the rest of the cast too, Adria Arjona as the life coach who keeps trying to read her breakup letter to Carey, editing it as she goes along is both funny and fantastically sexy! Her literal harem of discarded male lovers never seemed just comedic and helps to build a wonderful cast of secondary characters.

This is a good looking film, nicely shot and edited with a sequence of such expert skill in editing and blocking it deserves an Oscar in its own right. It's a 360 degree moving montage throughout Carey and Ashley's duplex apartment showing the passage of time where characters walk in an out of the shot as the camera moves  continues to travel, clothes are changed, new characters introduced and all seemingly shot in one take!

I haven't laughed this much at a modern comedy in an absolute age and it's great to see such an adult comedy that doesn't preach or try and teach lessons. I've never a fan of Judd Apatow's auteur, which is the nearest comparison, finding his films way too long and painfully unfunny. His characters are always super rich and their problems seem so far removed from anything approaching my own that I never engage with them, and there never seemed anything real about them or their problems. Whereas Splitsville is the exact opposite! Despite it also seeming to be populated by the super rich, this time round events and their actions change the status quo and their social standing making this feel far more real than the likes of This is 40, or this year's very unfunny and smug Is This Thing On?. Actually this feels much more like a Woody Allen film with added raunch.

A lot of times when a new comedy comes along you leave thinking that the trailer had been funnier, or shown the best parts. Not so this! The trailer perfectly hints at what's to come and for once doesn't give away the best bits. So, if you laughed or smiled at the trailer, chances are you're going to like this a lot!

See it while you can, it's a very funny and rude night out. For me, this is one of the best films of the year so far, and I think it might still be in the Top Ten come the end of it.

9/10

#31: THEY WILL KILL YOU

 

STARRING: Zazie Beetz, Myha'la, Paterson Joseph, Tom Felton, Heather Graham and Patricia Arquette. Written by Kirill Sokolov and Alex Litvak. Directed by Kirill Sokolov. Budget $20 million. Running time 94 minutes.

The start of a new franchise or a one-and-done, time and box office will tell. 

I'm finding this one hard to synopses, not because the plot is labyrinthian, but because I want to talk about it and the plot is almost secondary to the visual in this kinetic, frenzied, blood-soaked rampage pic of mayhem.

It's part of this horror genre, known as a 'Survival Thriller', which traditionally features a lone character, in modern times, usually a girl trapped in a house  hunted by an army of enemies which seemed have become a fan-favourite genre again thanks to 2009's Ready or Not, but which stretches right back to one of my favourite films, 1932's The Most Dangerous Game. Nowadays, the villains are usually satanic cults, which I suppose make these films supernatural, although in the memorable The Hunt (2020)  the enemy turned out to be super-rich liberals. ANYWAY, stop waffling, Leach what of this?

Well the story sees ex-convict Asia Reaves (Zarie Beetz) land a job as maid in The Virgil, a mysterious, exclusive high-rise apartment block in downtown New york. There she's greeted by Lilith Woodhouse (Patricia Arquette) the Irish superintendent and introduced to some of the inhabitants, a seemingly friendly woman called Sharon (Heather Graham) and a very friendly elderly couple. She meets the other maids, who all greet her cheerfully and then she's taken to her room, a lovely well appointed bedroom and off to bed she goes. Then in the middle of the night she's attacked by a group of hooded people who sneak into her room through a secret door with a view to killing her, and things go fucking apeshit when she fights back with an arsenal of weapons that she's smuggled in. You see, Asia isn't a simple maid, she's a ex-convict who's come looking for the little sister she's not seen in 10 years whom she knows is being held in The Virgil. However, it seems in The Virgil, you can't keep a bad man down, even when he's dead.  

This film takes the 10 minute plot rule literally and sure as shit, come that mark our Asia is ankle deep in blood and guts and she's off and running! Turns out The Virgil is controlled by Satan himself and the inhabitants are all immortal, but only if they pay the yearly blood debt to keep on living. From then on this is a mad paced, frenetic blood-soaked orgy of gore, violence and humour. We get cutaways to  the main characters each with their own title card and the back stories help set the scene. 

Image a film made by Quentin Tarantino and Sam Raimi, with its foot glued to the pedal, the camera work is fantastic, insane Raimi zooms and Tarantino sensibilities in the dialogue and attitudes, it starts out fantastically fast and funny. The humour feels very Raimi and a prolonged chase through and under the floors of the Virgil are hilarious, and gory beyond belief. 

If only this film could have kept the sheer energy of that opening attack it would be a stone cold classic 10/10, but alas it can't, and while it's insanely game, it all becomes a tad samey by the end. But boy, what an end, shame Ready or Not 2 covered similar material, but you know the old Hollywood rule. You wait decades for a devil worshipping cult of immortals who need a human sacrifice to continue living and two come along in the same week!

This wins thanks to a superbly game cast that includes Tom Felton, Paterson Joseph, Heather Graham, Patricia Arquette and the absolutely furious Zazie Beetz who totally rules as the 'final girl' heroine, boy can she kick, hack, slash and massacre like a bitch! There's also, some downright superb practical effects, seriously the final showdown with a pig headed demon is downright jaw dropping.  

This is a funny, gory and mercifully short, sad it's just a tad samey. 

7/10.

#30: READY OR NOT 2: HERE I COME

 

STARRING: Samara Weaving, Kathryn Newton, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Shawn Hatosy, David Cronenberg and Elijah Wood. Written by Guy Busick and R. Christopher Murphy. Directed by Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett. Budget $10 million. Running time 108 minutes.

Maybe I'm getting old, but I get a thrill from reading that a film is only 108 minutes long. Not only that, but I booked my ticket for the 18:00 performance, so I should be done and dusted by 20:00, so already this film's off to a good start, infact it might even get an extra point. Time will tell. 

It might have taken 7 years to get this sequel to the 2019 movie, Ready or Not out, but the events, in this second part of a planned trilogy, take place scant seconds after that first film had finished. And I went in expecting a whole different plot this time round, I mean how could the same shit happen to the same girl twice?

Ooh, that's now. 

The plot sees Grace MacCaullay (Samara Weaving) kidnapped from a hospital by the Danforth family, having survived a deadly hide-and-seek game between her and the combined might of her husband and her in-laws in their sprawling family mansion as part of a black magic ritual. However, this being a sequel her nightmare isn't over, no it's just beginning, again, as she's dragged to another mansion and forced to play hide-and-seek again, with a whole new group of rival elite families, but this time with her estranged sister, Faith (Kathryn Newton) in tow, who's been kidnapped as an incentive. It turns out if Grace wins this game she'll claim the Seat of Ultimate Power. And this is why wedding gift lists are so important. And so begins a brutal and very bloody fight for survival. 

The first John Wick film was a true lighting in a bottle movie, it was a brilliant action film made with no follow on or sequel in mind. However when John Wick 2 rolled into view it came bogged down by back story, lore and rules. The same can be said of Ready or Not 2: Here I Come, which is forced to expand on the whole devil worshipping schtick of the first film and run with it. There's now a very complicated set of rules that dictate what the family can do and woe-betide anyone who breaks the rules.

Despite being billed as a horror/action/comedy, this plays it very straight at least for the first two acts, although by the third it really just lets rip with the violence and gore. Cos, this is a very gory and bloody film, the deaths are gruesome and the physical damage meted out to the two female leads is at times painful to watch. Samara Weaving is a game girl who luckily shares the same ability to shrug off near fatal injuries with a smile and a winch as John Wick did. The heart of this film arrives in the interplay between the two sisters and as their back story is revealed.

The elite family hunting them are just tropes and types, although there's an amusing bylaw that dictates that a member of each family must hunt the girls, leading to multiple members of each family having to take up the axe, shotgun, knife or sniper rifle when one of their number fall. 

It's moderately funny and only really comes to life in the final act. Overall it's a savage little flick with a passion for violent, gory deaths and the final confrontation elevated it from a 6/10. It may not be rocket science, or brain surgery, but it was bloody entertaining and rather funny. If you liked the first one, you'll probably love this one.  

7/10

#29: ARCO

 

VOCALLY STARRING: Roma Fay, Juliano Krue Valdi, Mark Ruffalo, Natalie Portman, WIll Ferrell, Andy Samberg, Flea, Roeg Sutherland, America Ferrera and Wyatt Danieluk. Written by Ug Bienvenu and Felix de Givry. Directed by Ugo Bienvenu. Produced by, among others, Natalie Portman. Music Araud Toulon. Budget 9.5 million Euros. Running time 89 minutes. 

This French science fiction animated film plays like a classic Hayao Miyazaki anime, and how wonderful to see a new animated film, drawn and not computer animated for a change, although not all of the hand drawn works, some of it is a tad clunky, and occasionally you can see when different studio takes over some of the shots. The colour palette of flat colour also feels fresh, it's been a while since I've seen that in a major release, and together this all helps to give the film a fresh and vital visual feel. Shame they had to resort to some AI assisted sound tricks though.

The story, set in the year 2932 sees the remnants of humanity living on platforms in a huge tree-like structures that rise up out of the flooded world into the clouds. It's a world of peace and beyond the flooded aspect rather idyllic. Living a life of tranquility, young 10 year-old Arco Dorell (Juliano Krue Valdi) yearns for adventure and coverts one of the rainbow flight suits his parents and sister wear. These suits, that leave a rainbow in their wake, allows the wearer to travel through time. You see, Arco's family are time travellers and use their rainbow flight suits to travel into the distant past to examine the dinosaurs and bring back samples of flora. Naturally their society dictates that no one under the age of 12 can use the suits, so obviously Arco being 10 is a massive dick, and so steals his sisters' suit and leaps off the platform to go and visit the dinosaurs. Naturally it goes wrong and little Arco crash lands in the year 2075, and into the life of fellow 10 year-old Iris (Romy Fay), an exceedingly bright but loney girl, and her baby brother, Peter who are both being looked after 24/7 by a robot nanny called Mikki (Mark Ruffalo and Natalie Portman), while their parents work away from home and only communicate via hologram. This is a world where robots seem to do all jobs, apart from the ones Iris's parents do. It's also a world being pummelled by nature through storms and wild fires. Each night huge glass dome cover the buildings and every day the robots repair the damage. One day while bunking off from school, Iris finds Arco unconscious in the woods and takes him home, unaware that she's being followed by three mysterious brothers, who all wear rainbow sunglasses and drive around in a van looking for rainbow travellers. Once home Iris and Arco start to bond and he explains what brought him to her. One day, Arco tries to fly away but can't, he's not strong enough and a vital crystal that powers the rainbow suit is missing. As a raging firestorm threatens Iris's town, she and Arco race off to the school, after her parents order Mikki to hand Arco over to the authorities. Chased by the three brothers, Mikki and the local police force Arco and Iris are chased through a truly apocalyptic forest fire inferno with tragic results and while the ending is never in doubt, the toll it exacts on Arco is truly heart wrenching. 

The story builds carefully, establishing the two worlds our lead characters inhabit, time is spent getting to know both Iris and Acro, which works exceedingly well to bond us to them. Iris's lonely home life with Mikki resonates strongly and grounds her, making her quick connection with Arco easily understandable. This is a film that kids over 8 will truly love, and although the third act becomes a tad too action-packed it's not to the detriment of the story. This film has a true heart at its core and beyond the comedic antics of the rainbow sunglass wearing three brothers, is played straight, something the likes of Pixar could takes notice of. Animated films don't have to have sassy, wacky kids as lead characters and comic book villains to be thwarted. The attention to detail in establishing Iris's world is brilliant and her world truly looks fresh and original. Using Miyaski as his benchmark is a shrewd move on behalf of Ugo Bienvenu and pays dividends for this, his directorial debut.

A satisfying and moving film, that would have been a solid 8 had it not been for the ending that is truly and deeply poignant. It's rare you see a child's film that eschews the usual pat lessons for one about the consequences of actions taken, and the cost of those actions. I admire this film for being brave enough to do what it does. This is well worth 89 minutes of your life, even more so if you have 8-year old or older children to watch this with, it's guaranteed to stimulate discussion and it's truly worth seeing. 

9/10

#28: PROJECT: HAIL MARY

STARRING: Ryan Gosling, James Ortiz, Sandra Hüller, Lionel Boyce, Ken Leung, Milana Vayntrub and Priya Kansara. Based on the book by Andy Weir. Screenplay by Drew Goddard. Directed by Phil Lord and Christopher Miller. Budget $248 million. Running time 156 minutes.

Astronaut Ryland Grace (Ryan Gosling) awakens from a medically induced coma on an interstellar flight to Tau Ceti, with no memory of why he's there and with the bodies of two dead crew mates as his only companions. Gradually, through flashbacks we find out just what the ruddy hell is going on and it's genuinely rocket science. It turns out that our sun and hundreds of others in our particularly arm of the galaxy are being eaten alive by something called Astrophage, a single cell organism. Well, all the suns except one, Tau Ceti. And so Ryland has been sent to find out why and maybe a cure before the Earth dies freezing. Trouble is, it's a suicide mission as Grace only has enough fuel for a one way trip. As his memory slowly returns and we discover more about his past, he arrives in orbit around Tau Ceti and discovers he's not alone in the universe. Waiting there is an alien spaceship from another part of the galaxy, whose sun is also being eaten alive and whose sole surviving inhabitant is also looking for a cure. The inhabitant is a strange, eyeless, six-legged, spider-like, rock creature who Rylan names 'Rocky' (James Ortiz) and together these two intrepid scientists search for salvation before the lights go out for both of their civilizations. Along the way bonding and becoming friends.

Based on the book by Andy Weir, who wrote the absolutely brilliant The Martian and adapted by Drew Goddard, who also adapted The Martian. It was a film I absolutely loved, one of Ridley Scott's best. And this shares a lot of the same DNA with that previous film, right down to the movie poster. 

It's also clear that Weir has tropes he likes to explore, as both his lead characters are marooned scientists using their wiles to survive and thrive, although this time round the stakes are global not personal. Both are 'hard' science fiction films eschewing space battles and killer transforming robots, but not aliens, which in this case is a good thing. Not since the exceptional 2016 movie, The Arrival has Hollywood presented us with an alien quite so, alien. 

Sadly for me, at least, the film starts off by slightly fumbling the ball by playing like a comedy with Gosling mugging, gurning and prat falling his way around the zero-G spaceship as he struggles with his amnesia and it somewhat undercuts the serious content. In the book Grace's amnesia was a fantastic way to get to know our lead character as glimpses of his forgotten life gradually restored his memory and built the plot. While here his memory loss is played mostly for laughs, not broad ones but still enough to put me slightly on edge. I suppose the trouble is I loved Grace in the book and the film seemed to be belittling him. I usually have no problems with adaptations of books into films, I know they are two separate mediums and as such I can't expect the film to be the book and wouldn't want it to be, but here the adaptations felt a less nuanced.

It's the introduction of Rocky, with his own tragic backstory, that elevates this film and gives it its heart as both beings develop a shared language and work together to defeat the Astrophaguel, or to find a cure. It's exciting, emotional and very entertaining. Gosling is easy on the eyes and can do this sort of role in his sleep. the puppetry of Ortiz and his crew pays dividends and I'm glad he wasn't just a CGI creation, having Gosling interacting with Rocky really nails the emotional connection. I'm so glad to see that this has gone down so well with the critics, scoring a 97% on Rotten Tomatoes and I hope it does equally well at the cinema, I think word of mouth should work and propel this, it deserves it. I love these sort of one-and-done science fiction films that won't have sequels or overstretched franchises and I hope Hollywood keep on making them. What with this, Good Luck, Have Fun, Don't Die and Steven Speigberg's lastest Disclosure Day (out in July) this year looks to be a good one for original science fiction films and I hope it lasts. Before I sum off, special mention needs to be made of not just the script or the skills of directors Lord and Miller, but also the music and sound track. The film expertly uses classic rock and pop songs to great effect that help to elevate the tension and drama, while the soundtrack by Daniel Pemberton is very satisfying too. 

Over all this was an entertaining, satisfying, exciting and enjoyable adventure that moved me and made me laugh, indeed there's one gag that made me laugh so much the audience laughed at my reaction. The gag was: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "I don't do comedy." "I don't do comedy who?".

I went with daughter and wife. Daughter loved it and gave it a 9, wife not so and gave it a 7. Me...

I'd give it a solid 8/10. 

#27: BUGONIA

 

STARRING: Emma Stone, Jess Plemonds, Aidan Dlbis, Stavros Halkias and Alicia Silverstone. Screenplay by Will Tracy. Directed by Yorgos Lanthimos. Budget $55 million. Running time 118 minutes.

Convinced his boss, Michelle Fuller (Emma Stone) the CEO of a major pharmaceutical company is actually an alien from Andromeda star system, conspiracy nut Teddy Gatz (Jess Plemons) and his autistic cousin Don (Aidan Delbis) kidnap her and keep her a prisoner in the basement of Teddy's rural and isolated house. To prevent her contacting anyone, Teddy shaves Michelle's head and covers her in body cream. Teddy wants Michelle to take him aboard her spaceship where he might be allowed to negotiate with the Emperor. All he has to do is keep her alive and his gradually fracturing sanity intact for three days when a lunar eclipse will allow communication with Andromedian spaceship which he believes is parked in orbit. And all she has to do is convince him she's not an alien with designs on ending all human life on Earth. Let the battle of wits begin.

A film hailed by critics and ignored by the public. This is a very slow moving movie, filled with lengthy monologues and unsettling music as the balance of power between Stone and Plemonds ebbs and flows, as secrets are exposed and hidden agendas revealed, but who is telling the truth? Is it Teddy, a flat-earther looney obsessed by conspiracy theories who has brow-beaten this cousin into his fanatical plan, or is it Michelle, the pent up, work-obsessed ball of nerves who governs her company like an emperor and lives alone in her hi-tech glass and steel palace isolated from everybody.

It's brilliantly acted and directed, it gets under your skin and niggles at the edge of your psyche. This builds to a conclusion which will either alienate or resonate and for me it was well worth it. Not so my long-suffering wife who disliked this greatly, although we did spend a good hour afterwards talking about it and any film that engenders discourse is alright in my book. 

It's at times extremely savage, surprisingly gory and brutal, it's also a very slow burn and will try your patience if you don't buy into its vibe. Yorgos Lanthimos and Emma Stone keep making films that confound. surprise, frustrate and delight and this is no exception. 

8/10

#26: THE BRIDE!

STARRING: Jessie Buckley, Christian Bale, Peter Sarsgaard, Annette Bening, Jake Gyllenhaal and Penelope Cruz. Written and directed by Maggie Gyllenhaal. $90 million. Running time 126 minutes.

I think the tagline of the poster perfectly sums up the film, 'Here Comes The Motherfucking Bride!'

This is raw, rage-infused, manic, furious, relentless and perfectly encapsulates the notion of the original 'Punk' movement to a T, or 'P' if you'd prefer.

The plot set in America in the 1930s sees Ida (Jessie Buckley), a good time girl possessed by the spirit of Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley during a drunken night out in a fancy restaurant. There she loudly spills the beans on the activities of a vicious crime boss, Lupino (Zlatko Buric) who promptly orders her execution, which her boyfriend Lupino's sidekick James (Matthew Maher) carries out by punching her down a staircase where she breaks her neck and dies. Meanwhile, 'The Monster' (Christian Bale) arrives in New York desperate for Dr. Cornelia Euphronious (Annette Bening) to help him create a bride to break his soul destroying loneliness. She reluctantly agrees and together they dig up the corpse of Ida, pump a mysterious gunk into her and then zap her with the electric output of the entire city. Ida awakens revived, still possessed by Mary but with no memory of her past life and together the two monsters runaway on a cross-country inadvertent murder spree pursued by Detective Jake Wiles (Peter Sarsgaard) and his assistant Myrna Malloy (Penelope Cruz). The two monsters fall in love and bond over Frank's love of the movies of Ronnie Reed (Jake Gyllenhaal), a Hollywood star and The Bride becomes a symbol of female rebellion, which in turns sparks a dance movement across the nation, as women, rise up to have their bloody revenge. The film builds to a bloody and violent ending which fits the material perfectly.

There is a lot to unpack here, it's not perfect, It shifts tonally and ricochets from black comedy to feminist treaty to thriller to crime drama back to black comedy in a blink of an eye. And through it all strides Jessie Buckley who roars and rules the screen, the way she channels the spirit of Shelley is breath-taking. But this isn't a one-woman show, Christian Bale as the monster aka Frank is equally intense and the two actors clearly seem to revel in their roles and chemistry. Similarly, Maggie Gyllenhaal as writer and director deserves special mention, her script, might be overwrought, overwritten and over-long, but it's also nevertheless insanely over the top and so packed with incident that it's like experiencing a drug-fuelled fever dream. She has created a unique take on the Frankenstein mythos and this film pays homage to many of the those past films including Young Frankenstein, The Bride of Frankenstein and the HAMMER Frankenstein franchise, while at the same time creating something new, this is a version of the monster that is profoundly ugly in looks, and poetic and romantic beneath the scarred and mutilated flesh.

A violent, brutal, savage, chaotic, furious film that also touching, and fugly romantic. This won't be everyone's cup-of-tea but it is insanely and fantastically unique. 

8/10

P.S.
I think this would make a wonderful double bill movie with Wuthering Heights.