#26: THE BRIDE!

STARRING: Jessie Buckley, Christian Bale, Peter Sarsgaard, Annette Bening, Jake Gyllenhaal and Penelope Cruz. Written and directed by Maggie Gyllenhaal. $90 million. Running time 126 minutes.

I think the tagline of the poster perfectly sums up the film, 'Here Comes The Motherfucking Bride!'

This is raw, rage-infused, manic, furious, relentless and perfectly encapsulates the notion of the original 'Punk' movement to a T, or 'P' if you'd prefer.

The plot set in America in the 1930s sees Ida (Jessie Buckley), a good time girl possessed by the spirit of Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley during a drunken night out in a fancy restaurant. There she loudly spills the beans on the activities of a vicious crime boss, Lupino (Zlatko Buric) who promptly orders her execution, which her boyfriend Lupino's sidekick James (Matthew Maher) carries out by punching her down a staircase where she breaks her neck and dies. Meanwhile, 'The Monster' (Christian Bale) arrives in New York desperate for Dr. Cornelia Euphronious (Annette Bening) to help him create a bride to break his soul destroying loneliness. She reluctantly agrees and together they dig up the corpse of Ida, pump a mysterious gunk into her and then zap her with the electric output of the entire city. Ida awakens revived, still possessed by Mary but with no memory of her past life and together the two monsters runaway on a cross-country inadvertent murder spree pursued by Detective Jake Wiles (Peter Sarsgaard) and his assistant Myrna Malloy (Penelope Cruz). The two monsters fall in love and bond over Frank's love of the movies of Ronnie Reed (Jake Gyllenhaal), a Hollywood star and The Bride becomes a symbol of female rebellion, which in turns sparks a dance movement across the nation, as women, long the victims of male abuse, rise up to have their bloody revenge. The film builds to a bloody and violent ending which fits the material perfectly.

There is a lot to unpack here, it's not perfect, but still glorious in its reach and rage. It shifts tonally and ricochets from black comedy to feminist treaty to thriller to crime drama back to black comedy in a blink of an eye. And through it all strides Jessie Buckley who roars and rules the screen, the way she channels the spirit of Shelley is breath-taking. But this isn't a one-woman show, Christian Bale as the monster aka Frank is equally brilliant and the two actors clearly seem to revel in their roles and chemistry. Similarly, Maggie Gyllenhaal as writer and director of this astonishing film deserves special mention, her script, might be overwrought, overwritten and over-long, but it's also nevertheless insanely over the top and so packed with incident that it's like experiencing a drug-fuelled fever dream. She has created a superb and fantastic take on the Frankenstein mythos and this film pays homage to many of the those past films including Young Frankenstein, The Bride of Frankenstein and the HAMMER Frankenstein franchise, while at the same time creating something all together new and rewarding, this is a version of the monster that is refreshingly fresh, profoundly ugly in looks but beautifully poetic and romantic beneath the scarred and mutilated flesh.

A violent, brutal, savage, chaotic, furious film that also touching, funny, moving and fugly romantic. This won't be everyone's cup-of-tea but it is insanely and fantastically unique and original. 

9/10

P.S.
I think this would make a wonderful double bill movie with Wuthering Heights.

#25: HOPPERS

 

VOCALLY STARRING: Piper Curda, Bobby Moynihan, Jon Hamm, Kathy Najimy and Dave Franco. Screenplay by Jesse Andrews, story by Daniel Chong and Jesse Andrews. Directed by Daniel Chong. Budget $150 million. Running time 105 minutes.

For 10 years, from 1995 until 2015 I watched every new Pixar film without fail, a total of 15 films, three of which made me cry, one which stunned me to its core thanks to its creativity, and one that remains on my top ten favourite films of all times. Sadly that legendary run faltered and I started to miss new Pixar releases, they just didn't resonate with me anymore, and it seemed to me that when once the Pixar mantra had been 'Story is King', it changed to 'Message is King', as each new film went out of its way to teach or preach at its young audience and I just didn't need to be preached at so I missed, and still haven't seen The good Dinosaur, Cars 3, Onward, Soul, Luca, Turning Red and Elio. indeed, Inside Out 2 was the last Pixar film I've seen at the cinema prior to this one, it was fun, but not necessary and sticked so closely to the classic Syd Mead three act structure that was it was just a generic sequel. Pixar didn't used to do those, but you know, Disney and their true mantra is 'Cash is the true King.' but that was it for me. 

Now, the announcement of a new Pixar film leaves me cold, or did until Hoppers. I was hooked by the trailer and the premise, it looked fun, fresh and fun and I was in!

And then I saw it.

Oh. Dear. What a disappointment, what a glorious-looking, visually stunning, and brilliantly animated film, but how generic, how average, how one note. There's a message, of course, and even that is about as fresh as three week old milk. The story sees Mabel Tanaka (Piper Curda), an animal-loving Japanese-American college student's mind transferred into the body of a robotic beaver. The robotic beaver gives the wearer the ability to talk to animals, so she promptly steals it and goes off into the wild to convince the beaver population to return to her dead grandmother's idyllic wildlife pond at the bottom of her house. Turns out the greedy mayor Jerry Generazzo (Jon Hamm) wants to use the site to complete his elevated ring-road around the city of Beaverton. Mabel discovers that each animal family has a king, and convinces King George, the beaver monarch (Bobby Moynihan) to unite the animal kingdom in an attempt to assassinate Jerry, using a great white shark, convinced his death will save the glade. Which in turn triggers Mabel to rethink her lifestyle choices and try to save the day. 

There's lots more going on, which I can't be arsed to try and synopsise, there's an evil villain, a human robot, a ridiculous car chase, a deeply frustrated human scientist trying to get her hands back on her animal robot, and a lot of stupid story rules that are shoehorned into proceedings only to be promptly ignored when the story demands.

I had thought, based on the trailer, that the robotic animal piloted by a human mind would be enough for a story, but sadly Pixar think that kids needs a wacky, outrageously stupid story to hang off the premise, so we get the whole environmental back story, the building of a ring road and all the rest.

It starts very well, the animation is a delight, there's a clever use of anime style to proceedings, and the Pixar look also works well here too, it looks great, the character design is fiesty and fun. Trouble is nowadays Pixar aren't the only show in town and with the likes of Blue Sky, Illumination Entertainment, Dreamworks, Sony Animation and a slew of others producing great looking and stylistic product, looking great just isn't enough anymore. This is the time when Story should be King.

Everything here is just so generic, the story so obvious, the plot beats seen a thousand times before. The conceit behind the story is so farcial, the human scientists watching Mabel in her Beaver robot interacting with animals, able to hear them talk and then witnessing the gathering of the animal kingdom royalty is ridiculous. Likewise the animals airlifting in a 3000lb Great White Shark to use as a smart bomb sounds hilarious but utterly shattered the created rules of this world. If you're going to create a science fiction story you have to have rules that work and you can't break them for the purposes of the plot. This doesn't so much jump the shark as drop it from a great height in an attempt to kill an innocent human. When the third act robot-walks into sight, and the true villian of the film is finally revealed the plot goes into overdrive and not only robs the film of all its borderline reality but ruins it completely with the introduction of a human robot suit that animals can use. 

There's a rule in comic publishing that you don't tell the reader on the cover that the comic is 'fun', 'funny', 'wacky' or 'crazy', a thing is either those things or it isn't and a reader will see through it and deem the object none of the above. The film wants everyone to think it's also all the above, but it's not. The idea behind is crazy, wacky, fun and a fantastic idea, but the film is anything but. The kids who sat watching this did so in stony silence and unmoved until the final act action bonanza specifically put there for the ankle biters to get excited. 

Also, call me old, but what the fuck happened to those glorious Pixar shorts that used to be screened before the film? 

Anyway, I've had enough, I've still got The Bride! to review, and a dog to walk, and it's only 8:00am.

This get a 6/10

#23: HOW TO MAKE A KILLING

 

STARRING: Glenn (The Next Big Thing) Powell, Margaret Qualley, Jessica Henwick, Bill Camp,  Zach Woods, Topher Grace and Ed Harris. Screenplay and directed by John Patton Ford. Based on Israel Rank: The Autobiography of a Criminal by Roy Horniman. Budget $15 million. Running time 105 minutes.

Apparently this is 'loosely based on Robert Hamer's classic 1949 Ealing Comedy Kind Hearts and Coronets, which was heralded as 'loosely based' on the above mentioned Roy Horniman novel. This marks the second British comedy remake of the year, with last month's immensely enjoyable Send Help being a loose remake of The Admirable Crighton.

HTMAK sees orphan Becket Redfellow (Glenn Powell) sitting in his prison cell explaining to a priest on the eve of his execution how he murdered members of his immediate family so he could inherit a family fortune of $29 billion. This, he explains he did after being inspired to do so by his school sweetheart, Julia Steinway (Margaret Qualley) who walks back into his life as a staggering beautiful heiress and discovers him folding clothes in a upmarket men's fashion boutique. Becket loves the idea and with no hassle or difficulty at all proceeds to murder his way up the food chain so to speak, exhibiting extremely impressive chemistry and weapons knowledge to achieve his goals. At one point his uncle, Warren Redfellow (Bill Camp) kindly takes him under his wing, gives him a job, the one his son had before Becket killed him and sort of adopts him. Because this is Hollywood, Warren conveniently dies of a massive heart attack so Becket doesn't have to kill him and the audience won't dislike him as a character. Anyway, he slaughters his through his cousins until that fateful final showdown with his grandfather, Ed Harris.  

Finally once he's achieved his life ambition he's captured for a murder he didn't commit, that of Julia's husband, and gets sentenced to death. 

Over all this is a rather dull and un-engaging comedy action romp. Exhibiting no real bite, the murders are all utterly vanilla, bloodless and achieved with an ease that stretches credulity to breaking point and leaves the film completely toothless. It's all so goddam tame and dreary. The sublime 1949 original, set in Edwardian Britain, with Denis Price in the Becket role and Alec Guinness as all eight members of the D'Ascoyne family, as the Redfellows where known was a charming, witty black comedy that still delights to this day. In adapting and revamping the original film, all that John Patton Ford seems to have done is just shift the time and location to New York in the 2020s. So, thank god for Margaret Qualley at least in principle, who is a truly extraordinarily exciting actress, although she sadly overwhelms the rather bland Glenn Powell. She, or at least her character who exudes seduction and sinister intent, is the sole saving grace of the whole film. Although her character is not properly established and beyond a single caste kiss when they are both children seems to have no real connection with Becket. Hollywood seem determined to launch Glenn Powell as The Next Big Thing and keep chucking him at projects and they keep misfiring, if he doesn't find something he clicks in soon, he's going be become known as The Last Hasbeen. in this he is okay, but he's simply outclassed by both Qualley and Ed Harris who both give this film some glimmer of quality.

The direction is okay, the sound mix, for once is good, but the film looks cheap, and fails to convince this is a world of billionaires.  

Not all together totally horrendous, but I'd still dump it for just one more chance to watch the original up on the big screen. 

6/10

#22: EPiC: ELVIS PRESLEY IN CONCERT

 

STARRING: ELVIS PRESLEY. Directed by Baz Luhrmann. Budget $11 million. Running time 97 minutes.

The story behind the making of this film is worthy of a film in its own right. While making his 2022 bio pic of the King, Elvis Baz Luhrmann went looking for unseen footage from the two legendary Elvis concert films – Elvis: That's the Way It Is and Elvis on Tour when he stumbled across 68 boxes of unseen footage in the Warner Bros film archives, situated in a Kansas salt mine. The film, both 35mm and 8mm featured not only Elvis's legendary 'Gold Jacket' performance from his 1957 Hawaii show, but also outtakes and previously unseen material, although sadly it all came with absolutely no sound. He also uncovered a previously unheard 45 minute audio recording of Elvis talking about his life and an unseen clip of Presley singing 'Oh Happy Day'. Baz then spent the next two years getting the footage restored and synced to existing audio sources. So far, so Wikipidia.

Although what Baz did next was to craft all that incredible footage into this utterly unique and extraordinary hybrid movie that's simultaneously a classic Elvis Las Vegas concert film stitched together from various shows and also a genuinely unique glimpse behind the scenes as we watch Elvis and his band rehearse and practice, then added to that, listening to the man himself talk about about his life and answer questions from various press interviews. There's also an after party sequence, with Elvis in his black leather outfit as he talks to a obviously delighted Cary Grant and Sammy Davis Jnr.

It all works to create a truly wondrous experience that's actually breathtaking. There's something about watching Elvis that is truly memorising, he is the consummate performer, and his obvious knowledge of music and its structure is mesmerizing to behold, watching him with his band, sweating, practising, shaping the performance to come is a true delight, much in the same way the superlative Beatles: Let it Be was, it's always a genuine privilege to watch true musicians, or artist, to craft their art, to seem to peek behind the curtain and watch the magic being stirred. There's a scene, from the Vegas shows, a reverse shot from the stage back at the audience that is simply staggering, a sea of fans, all moving as one, all cheering, waving, and you can feel the sheer delight and excitement of each and every one of them. All those marvellous 1960s and 70s fashions, sunglasses, haircuts and screaming, it's breathtaking. Good I loved this! The vibrant colours, the cinematography, the film throbs and surges with life and energy and the running time, flew by. This was a film to enjoy on the big screen, Elvis's head, hair and sideburns huge for all to see, and then when he's performing, Oh. My. God. There's a reason he was called The King. That man was pure power transcendent. 

This was a fantastic, film that left me with goosebumps, dazed by his voice, his physicality, his sheer musical prowess and his magnificent high collared white suits. 

Go and see this at the cinema and watch the best concert you've ever seen. 

10/10

#21: THE GODFATHER

STARRING: Marlon Brando, Al Pacino, James Caan, Richard Castellano, Robert Duvall, Sterling Hayden, John Marley, Richard Conte and Diane Keaton. Screenplay by Mario Puzo. Directed by Francis Ford Coppola. Music by Nino Rota. Budget $7 million. Running time 175 minutes. Originally released in 1972.

The rise and rise of the Don Corn Holio crime family. A staggeringly sumptuous, brilliantly made, intensely gripping and powerful movie, indeed one of the greatest movies ever made. Directed to perfection by Coppola, from a layered and nuanced script by Puzo, and with a cast of some of the finest actors ever to grace the silver screen. This is a note perfect, beautiful film that never fails to thrill me to my actual core. 

I've lost count of the number of times I've watched this, although never on the big screen so what a treat to see it writ large the way Coppola intended. It's so packed with drama and incident, but never at the cost of the story, events unfold perfectly and it's tightly plotted structure is a marvel to behold. Watching the character of Michael (Al Pacino) change over the course of the story from war hero to Godfather of his father's crime syndicate is to witness the power of subtle corruption, how the events slowly change him and transforms him from near-innocent into the dead-behind-eyes crime family boss who calmly orders the murder of five men to secure his family's future on the day of his nephew's christening is chilling. Pacino sets the film alight with his presence. Watching this on a large screen gives you a chance to really explore the actors as they work, watching Brando is a treat that richly rewards. Like I said, everyone in this film is astounding.   

I was struck by some of Coppola's blocking, the way he moves the camera in scenes, as well as the editing prowess of William Reynolds and Peter Zinner, and the gorgeous cinematography of Gordon Willis. Indeed every aspect of this film was just a joy to behold. Starting with the wedding scene is a brilliant decision, and for the first 20 odd minutes we are slowly immersed into the working of the family, before we're exposed to evil that infects it.

This went on to make over $291million dollars on its initial release off a budget of just $7 million, and would win seven Golden Globes and was nominated for 11 Academy Awards winning just two for Best Actor (Marlon Brando) and Best Picture. It also spawned two sequels, Godfather II, and Godfather III.  

If you've only ever seen this on Blu Ray, or DVD, or VHS or just at home do yourself a favour and watch it on the big screen if you get a chance, you won't be disappointed. 

A triumph. 10/10

#20 & 24: GOOD LUCK, HAVE FUN, DON'T DIE

STARRING: Sam Rockwell, Haley Lu Richardson, Michael Pena, Zazie Beetz, Asim Chaudhry and Juno Temple. Screenplay by Matthew Robinson. Directed by Gore Verbinski. Music by Geoff Zanelli. Budget $20 million. Running time 134 minutes.

What's about, David? Well it's about 2 hrs and 14 minutes. But if it's story you're interested in then have you heard the one about a time traveller from a future post apocalyptic world who travels back to our present to recruit someone to help take down a soon to be activated super intelligent AI computer?

But that's the only similarity it has to Terminator, this is an altogether different kettle of fish. For a start it's far funnier. However, if you're someone who likes films to be described using pre-existing movies, then think of this as Terminator meets Miracle Mile via 12 Monkeys, Groundhog Day and The Matrix.

This is a bat-shit crazy, manic, breath-taking relentless mad-dash comedy action adventure that grips the moment Sam Rockwell's character known only as 'Man From the Future' stomps into a late-night diner called Norms and tells everyone he's there to save the world. He proceeds to pressgang six of the patrons into helping him and together they set off across town to the kill a nine-year old boy – the genius mastermind behind a super AI program that's going to enslave the world. Each of the six reluctant helpers are told they're expendable, although each is given a flash back which helps to flesh out this maddening world and give the film some much needed context, indeed enough for the keen eyed amongst you to just about work out what the heck is going on. I don't think you'll be disappointed, I certainly wasn't. This is at turns thrilling, gripping and bloody enjoyable. I loved the energy and the pace of this film, because those 2 hours and 14 minutes flew by. These sorts of films only work if the ending is nailed and this nails like perfectly. I don't want to go into specifics or story beats because this is a film best seen knowing as little as possible about the story. Just know it unravels perfectly and never feels leaden, plus it's lacking those annoying plot holes that often undermine these sorts of films.  

Gore Verbinski directs with kinetic energy galore, but never at expense of visual or story, his framing and pacing match the material perfectly. This has a lovely grungy feel about it, the most obvious reference being 12 Monkeys. But it's the relentless forward momentum that keeps this film firing on all cylinders. 

The cast, especially Rockwell is excellent, this is the sort of role he excels in. But then the rest of the cast do a damn fine job too. Similarly, the soundtrack by Geoff Zanelli fits in perfectly with the visuals and provides excellent audio beats. Finally, Gore Verbinski directs the whole thing with great skill and a keen eye for the visual and fills the screen with detail and action. 

Overall, this was a funny, moving and satisfying science-fiction comedy action film that manages to deliver a solid punch ending while avoiding a flabby middle (lucky bastard) and I'm looking forward to seeing again, and again!

10/10

TAKE TWO

Before I embark on this weekend's new releases I felt the urge to rewatch this before it leaves our silver screens for good, destined for the its second life on the smaller screen. But, this time, with wife and son in tow. How would it fare, what would THEY think, is it time to get a new family, or is this old one still okay? Only time would tell, well 2 hours and 14 minutes anyway... 

That was just as entertaining as the first time, in fact I think I enjoyed it even more second time round as I waited for remembered scenes to come along. I was more aware of the dialogue this time round too, the script is witty and fresh, giving each of the main band of characters their moment to shine. The film keeps changing from one thing to the next as the story unravels and the build up to the payoff is terrific. Stylistically it owes a great debt to the action films of the 80s, not only in the visual style but also the musical clues, twangy synch cords to highten tenstion. There's so much here to enjoy that the film genuinely deserves a second look. Gore Verbinski really deserves huge credit for steering the huge, Hydra-like, film with its multiple story strands and slew of characters. This really is a deeply satisfying and exciting film and you really should give it a go. It truly is one of the most original films you're likely to see. Sadly, it bombed at the boxoffice, probably because the marketing dept didn't know how to sell it. It's a true one-off and the sort of thing that Hollywood weren't supposed to be making anymore. That said, considering it did bomb, the chances of more like this getting greenlit diminishes each time one fails. Here's hoping Project Hail Mary has more success at the movies. 

Well worth two and a quarter hours of your life. And as to my wife and second born, they both loved it, and it generated an entertaning conversation on the way home. They both scored it a solid 8/10, although I'm sticking with my original. 

10/10

#19: COLD STORAGE

 

STARRING: Georgina Campbell, Joe Keery, Sosie Bacon, Vanessa Redgrave, Lesley Manville and Liam Neeson. Screenplay by David Koepp. Directed by Jonny Campbell. Running time 99 minutes.

Staying just long enough to do its job this was a fun, if uninspiring little sci-fi romp with a game cast, gory effects and a nice chemistry, but sadly missing the oomph factor to make it something really special.

The plot sees a mutated fungus return to Earth on a piece of the old Sky Lab and start killing all it infects. Luckily Neeson and Manville are on hand to contain it and lock it away in military storage facility. However, 18 years later the facility has been sold off and is now a self storage depot and the once hi-tech deep freeze containment facility holding the fungus has started malfunctioning causing storage depot night-watch man, Travis 'Teacake' Meacham (Joe Keery) and new girl, Naomi Williams (Georgina Campbell) to go off and explore the ominous bleeping deep below in sub basement 4. Meanwhile, an old lady, Ma Rooney (Venessa Redgrave) has come to inspect her storage locker. When Travis and Naomi discover that something has breached the containment field they phone the military and both Robert Quinn (Liam Neeson) and Trini Romano (Lesley Manville) are dispatched to contain the breech and kill any infected humans. Added to the mix is Travis and Naomi's boss, Griffen (Gavin Spookes), a Hells Angel biker who brings his gang to transport some stolen TVs out of the storage facility, oh, and Naomi's ex-boyfriend Mike (Aaron Heffernan). And the stage is set for some gory deaths and silliness. 

How wonderful to see so many great British and Irish actors in one film, Neeson, Manville and Vanessa Redgrave, and what a shame they're not given more to do. The film takes its time to get up to speed with a pre-credit sequence showing the capture of the fungus by Neeson and Manville, which is rather reminicent of the vastly superior, but far less funny 1971 film, The Andromeda Strain. The present day cast in the guise of Keery and Campbell have good chemistry and there's a nice edge of humour. And the idea of a military storage facility breaking down was used far more effectively in the superb The Return of the Living Dead.

This isn't a bad film, it was entertaining, funny and gross out gory at times but that's about it, it's a tad too laid back for its own good and lacks a really satisfying big boss battle. That said, at 99 minutes it's brisk and altogether fluffy and not at all terrible.

7/10