ROCKY III

Here we go again, again, again...

Written and directed by Sylvester Stallone, also starring: Talia Shire, Burgess Meredith, Carl Weathers Mr. T. and, the always excellent Burt Young. Music by the great Bill Conti. Running time 100 minutes. Box Office haul: $270 million.

Rocky might be the better film, but for my money this is the most fun of the franchise. The story sees poor Rocky not only lose his surrogate father, Mickey (Burgess Meredith) but also get very badly beaten and lose his Heavy Weight Title to the brash, brutal and very hungry Clubber "I pity the fool!" Lane (Mr. T).

Rocky, suffering from grief is carefully coached back to fighting fitness by Apollo Creed who teaches South Paw Rocky, not only, how to punch right-handed, but also how to dance, catch chickens and get the 'Eye of the Tiger'. Before Adrian gives him the final emotional push to get him back in the ring and  it's time for the fantastic rematch.

Meanwhile, it's up to Burt Young's character Paulie, Rocky's brother-in-law and best friend to provide the much needed link to reality, as we watch his character give up his dream-job of leg-breaker and become Rocky's bucket man in the corner, leading up to a very funny ring side moment where Rocky misses the bucket. Apparently this was unscripted and the look of shock on Young's face is a hoot.

Mr. T. is fantastic as Clubber Lane, although we never find anything out about him beyond the fact he's hungry and a killing machine, I always admired his feather ear rings, it takes a man very comfortable in his sexuality to carry off such a then metrosexual look. The two fights in this film are spectacular. And this is the only film where Rocky beats his opponent in less than 15 rounds.

This is also the film that revealed Stallone's new sculptured body, his new face, nose and his fantstically toned body. Stallone has never looked better.

But there's still Rocky IV to come!

7/10

ROCKY II

Starring, written and directed by Sylvester Stallone. Also starring Talia Shire, Carl Weathers, Burt Young, and Burgess Meredith. Running time 120 minutes. Budget $7 mil. Box office: $200 mil. Originally released in 1979. Soundtrack once again by Bill Conti.
Not as good as the original. Sly does everything in this film, from starring in it, to writing it, and directing it. The showdown between Creed and Rocky in their climatic battle is superb though, exceeding the original and makes you cheer.

But the trouble is before we get there, Sly has to fill up 92 minutes of film and to do it he just puts Rocky through the emotional meat grinder. And unfortunately it seems that Sly fell in love with the character Rocky (who can blame him) and can't quite make his decline too terrible, so the grinder is set on slow and the drama is really mild - Rocky can't get an office job, so has to go to the meat packing plant where Paulie used to work, Rocky gets mildly ribbed at the gym, Rocky gets heckled on a street corner. Rocky has a slight quibble with Adrian about wanting to fight again, Mickey kindly explains to Rocky that his fighting days are over, before we're rocked by Adrian's coma, following the birth of their son, that lasts for days, and which, it seems we have to witness each and every minute of. Plus that very long sequence where Rocky spends all his money on watches, cars, houses and coats. Indeed, despite being two minutes shorter than Rocky, this outing drags and feels like a much longer film. However all is forgiven when finally in the third act – Rocky gets his groove on and we get the obligatory training montage that culminates in the run through Phili' and that triumphant dash up the 72 stairs of Philadelphia Museum of Art trailed by 800 kids and we're back in Rocky's corner and rooting for him. 

Then it's on to the big fight and what a fight it is. Brilliantly filmed and edited, it's powerful and brutal, although utterly implausible, that many blows to the head are gonna kill you. This is when the film finally comes to life and you find yourself rooting for Rocky, cheering him on. And when he wins, it feels like we've won too.

I'm fascinated by Paulie, as played by Burt Young. He's such an interesting character and in this film finally lands his dream job of breaking fingers for the local loan shark, Tony Gazzo (Joe Spinell), it's a job that really seems to suit Paulie and he looks sharp and has even managed to lose weight.
Friendships in films often get over looked for the more obvious one between lovers, but I'm fascinated by friend dynamic and the one between Rocky and Paulie is fascinating. 

7/10

ROCKY

Written and starring Sylvester Stallone. Also starring Talia Shire, Burt Young, Carl Weathers and Burgess Meredith. Directed by John G. Avildsen. Music by Bill Conti. Running time: 119 minutes. Budget $960,000. Box office $225 million.

I have not seen this film since the early 1980s, when I saw it on a date, as a double-bill with Rocky II.

The story is simple, boxing lug Rocky, makes $70 a fight, while collecting money for the local loan shark when the Heavy Weight Champion of the World, Apollo Creed plucks him from obscurity and offers him a shot at the title in the fight of his life.

Watching it now you can see why it put Stallone on the map, it's a wonderful movie, so raw, tender, emotional, brutal and grotty. At its heart it's a love story about two lost souls finding each other and salvation. I know that over the years Sly has become something of a joke, but you have to admire his passion and commitment to this project. He was an unknown actor, who after watching the Ali Vs. Chuck Wepner fight, wrote the script for himself in the space of three days then touted it round Hollywood before it fell into the hands of producers Irwin Winkler and Robert Chartoff. Initially offered $70,000 for the script, Sly refused, demanding he star in it, despite the offer increasing to $300,000. Finally he won the role.

The film was shot, guerilla style over 28 days on a budget of just $950,000 and would go on to win Best Picture Oscar and gross, on its release, thus becoming the highest grossing film of 1976 over $225,000,000. It's worth remembering that Rocky not only beat All The President's Men, Network and Taxi Driver for the Oscar, but also the clear favourite, King Kong.

I forgot how funny Rocky was or how witty Stallone can be. I forgot how wonderful and natural the relationship between Rocky and Adrian (Talia Shire) seemed, or how good the relationship between Rocky and Adrian's brother, Paulie was, Burt Young is terrific as the dim-witted lug who dreams of giving up his job in the meat packing company to break legs for a local, second-rate loan shark. 

This film doesn't have a single bum note, the training sequence is wonderful, the music by Bill Conti is glorious and the direction by John Avildsen, who utlised a steadicam for most of the film is inspiring.

I bloody loved it. 10/10

 

TENET

 

Written and Directed by Christopher Nolan. Starring John David Washington, Robert Pattinson, Elizabeth Debecki and Kenneth Branagh. Running time 150 minutes. Budget $225 million.

 

I saw Tenet last Wednesday, or as we call it in our house, Tenet. We prefer to spell it backwards. It's taken me this long to arrive at an opinion about it. This film has a lot riding on its shoulders, namely the rebirth of the British cinema laid low by Covid-19. And my local 12 screen cinema put this on in each of its 12 screens in an attempt to tempt us all back.

I went in knowing nothing beyond the trailer and I can't remember the last time I went into a $225 million film almost blind and it made for an exciting change, so if you've not seen it, or know nothing about it then please don't read this review just go and see this film blind, cos you'll never have this opportunity again.

However if you still want to read my review then here it is. This is a spoiler free review.

 

 

SPOILER ALERT. 

 

Amazingly, for a film about time travel that takes place in the past, present and future simultaneously the plot is simplicity itself. Two spies, John David Washington and Robert Pattinson, working for an undisclosed agency race, against time itself to prevent Russian baddy, Sator, as played by Kenny Branagh, from doing something very nefarious. And that's it in a nutshell, or llehstun if you'd prefer.

Directed by Nolan, who because of his gender was not allowed to join his sister's band, and instead became an impressive film maker, with some absolutely stunning films to his credit including, Batty Begins, Inception, Memento, The Prestige, Dunkirk and Interstellar (as long as you stop watching before Matthew starts knocking books off his shelf).

 

As with all of Nolan's films, this one is beautifully staged, well-directed and plot-wise complex beyond belief. Indeed after a while, I just stopped trying to understand what in god's name was going on and just slumped back in my seat and let it all just wash over me, which is probably for the best because for the life of me I'm left the cinema two-and-a-half-years later with more unanswered questions than I went in with, like why is it called 'Tenet'?

This is a long film waddling in at a bladder-busting 150 minutes, and follows a tried, tested and very sensible story structure of: ACTION! Exposition. ACTION! Exposition. ACTION! etc until the end. It opens with a stunning and relentless action sequence set in an opera house, which because everyone (except the audience) is wearing full-body armour, makes following the story impossible and ends with a bizarre rail-yard sequence, which leaves much unexplained and so far, so the trailer.

Indeed, if all you have to go on is the trailer you soon find yourself mentally checking off all the beats you've already seen hoping they will help you make sense of this, but shortly afterwards, you realise the trailer footage is gone and you're on your own. Good luck.
 

Anyhoo, after the exhilarating opening we get to meet our hero properly as played by John David Washington. His character, our lead has no name, he ain't got time for names, there's a baddy to stop.  He's one of those characters who knows far more about what's going on than the audience and refuses to let us in on the secret thus forcing the audience into the role of voyeur. He has almost zero chemistry with the other characters and the only thing you ever think about him is 'gosh, how short is he?' Now maybe he's not that short, maybe everyone else is taller! These are the sort of questions that run through your mind as you watch this, given as you aren't allowed to know anything.

 

Inbetween the plot exposition, Nolan wedges a series of impressive action sequences, all mounted 'in camera' and each designed to 'out-Nolan' the last one, building to a mind-boggling finale that will leave you shaken and stirred. Sadly, however, because there's no absolutely no emotional engagement with our heroes, there's also no sense of jeopardy or drama, we know who will live and who will die. There is also one action sequence that is so mind-bogglingly impressive to both stage and watch that Nolan, clearly impressed revisits it not once but three times, just so we can marvel at his awesomeness.

Also this film seems to have no time to spare for introspection or to allow the audience to catch its collective breath, which is surprising given its running time. We are never allowed a moment to ponder or learn about our hero, nor are we ever sure as to which agency he is working for, why, or under what parameters? This is a shame because Bond's visits to MI6 were often the most enjoyable scenes of the Bond films this clearly doffs its cap to.

And talking of Bond, Nolan, a declared Bond fan seems to have set out to make his own Bond film, but along the way replaced all the fun, excitement and bonhomie of those films with this grand, over-stuffed, operatic extravaganza filled with mind-bending whiffle-waffle as we're batted back and forth through time, like the Irwin Allen's Time Tunnel but without John William's awesome theme tune.
 

Visually this film is stunning, its locations are beautiful its action beats spectacular, but for all its technical skill this is film feels flat and un-engaging, it's packed to the gills with characters who pop up for a single scene to propel our plucky heroes on to the next plot point, dispensing exposition, mostly unheard because of the dreadful soundmix which has important information drowned out by all the ambient noise.

 

And that's about it. This film is being hailed as a 5 star masterpiece. I sadly can't agree. This film suffers from the Emperor's new clothes syndrome, the critics will all hail it as a masterpiece but for me it was the purest example of style over substance and although I can't fault its look, style, blah blah the story left me cold, unmoved and at times a tad bored.

And like it's story structure this film is a film of two scores, one for technical brilliance and the other for entertainment.

10/10 for visual and technical brilliance

6/10 for entertainment.

SHUT-IN MOVIE #18 CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER (2011)

Starring Chris Evans, Hugo Weaving, Hayley Atwell, Sebastian Stan, Dominic Cooper, Stanley Tucci, Tommy Lee Jones, and Toby Young. Directed by Joe Johnson.

I've not seen this film in ages, maybe not since it first came out on Blu-ray. It recently survived a film cull when I got rid of a whole load of films I just couldn't be arsed to try and sit through again and films I found myself fast forwarding through thru sheer boredom. I remembered having a soft spot for this one and I'm glad I saved it.

What a refreshingly brisk and enthusiastic little flick, by Marvel movie standards, this was. Chris Evans is yet another staggering charismatic actor, who it seems was born to play Captain America. And it wasn't even his first comic character role, nor even his second!

The plot sees puny human, Steve Rogers selected to become the first recipient of Doctor Erskine's Super Solider Serum thus becoming Captain America. Created by the good doctor in an attempt to thwart the nefarious activities of Hugo Weaving's the Red Skull, the leader and creator of the Hydra, the super secret, super-advanced scientific arm of the Nazis. He's only gone and got his hands on the Tesseract, a object of near limitless power, blimey! it's a good job Captain America is on the case, that is once he's finished making movies of course. 

This is a rip-roaring and rollicking adventure that has real heart and soul. By focusing on the puny Steve Rogers prior to his transformation and giving us time to, not only, like the puny kid with a big heart but come to really root for him really makes this film work. He's so utterly plucky, and his never-give-up defiance in the face of big bullies everywhere easily wins you over. Sure he's a Dudley Do Right, but he's so damn good looking one and does it all with such guileless heroism that he can't help but make Captain America so gosh-darn likeable! 

This is action packed and effects driven but the effects, even nearly 10 years later are surprisingly good, particularly the way they melded Chris Evan's head to the body of a puny body double.

(Nearly) everyone raves about the likes of the last two Avenger movies or Black Panther but for me, this one, and the first Iron Man and to a lesser extent the first Thor movie are the true heart and soul of the entire Marvel Movie Universe franchise, if these had failed to work we perhaps wouldn't have had the likes of Batman vs. Superman, Justice League, Suicide Squad and The Biddies of Prey: The Farcical Constipation of Harley Quinn. So, naturally this film has a lot to be sorry for.

8/10 

SHUT-DOWN MOVIE #17 – EXTRACTION (2020)

Based on a graphic novel, directed by Sam Hargrave, written by Joe Russo and starring Chris Hemsworth.

The plot, sorry if this is too long.

The son of a Bangladesh crime boss is kidnapped by a rival. Mercenary Tyler Rake (Hemsworth) is hired to get the kid back. Although when Tyler is double-crossed he's forced to fight his way through the city with the boy in tow to get him home safely.

Phew! I hope you could keep track, I know I was reaching for the remote a lot while I watched this, so I could rewind and watch the complicated plot again when I got confused. This NETFLIX movie is being touted as a hi-octane action flick and features several of those, almost ubiquitous 'one-take' action sequences, that Atomic Blonde and John Wick have made so popular. It's safe to say it is very action packed, very hi-octane and very, very violent. Luckily we're now well past the hateful stage of jerky, handheld action sequences of past films and although this is a VERY frenetic and frenzied film you can at least work out what's going on.

This film works because of Hemsworth who has a staggering amount of charisma, his Tyler Rake (terrible name) is the driven man of action, an Action Man if you will, who gets injured a lot, shot, stabbed, punched, kicked. At one point he suffers a paper cut that will have you wincing, you know when you get cut between the skin of two fingers, and another time he bangs his funny bone, although why it's called a funny bone is beyond me, because it's not at all funny when you bang that bad boy.

ANYWAY, Tyler fights his way through the entire police force of Dhaka, who luckily ALL happen to be super corrupt and don't have any families at all, no wives or kids, indeed they're all orphans and in no way, just police men trying to do their jobs, so their brutal, savage deaths are all okay. Rest assured kind reader, that none of these characters had any real lives for you to worry about, just like in Fast and Furious 7 when that tank ran over all those empty cars on the motorway.

Along the way, Tyler is able to tick several tropes off his 'action man bingo card', including 'Betrayed by old friend', 'walking away from explosions', 'bonding with his youthful charge' and surviving several others I won't reveal for fear of spoiling the movie.

The Bangladesh setting was very unique and gave the film a fresh look although i gotta say I found the body count surprisingly unsettling.

Overall, this was an okay action flick if you like your action, relentless, brutal, unstopping, savage, excessive and down right nasty.  7/10

SHUT-DOWN MOVIE #16 - FAMILY PLOT (1976)

Alfred Hitchcock's final film. Starring Barbara Harris, Bruce Dern, William Devane and Karen Black. The film sees fake psychic Barbara Harris and her down-on-his-heels, cabdriver boyfriend, Bruce Dern hired by an old lady to search for her long lost remaining heir, William Devane who it transpires is one half of a no-good kidnapper gang, who along with his girlfriend Karen Black, expertly kidnap wealthy people for huge diamonds, keeping their victims locked up in their custom built basement vault. There's no disputing Hitchcock's skill as a film maker, he is the perfect professional, and this film, while nowhere near his best still shows his skills as a story teller, scenes are expertly set up, visually explained and shot, although without any real visual flair or tricks. It is the very definition of workmanlike, but that's not a criticism. This is a light-hearted comedy thriller which just holds its own. As with earlier films it takes its time setting up the situation, but the characters work very well. Barbara Harris as the fake psychic has an annoying tremble to her voice which sounds like she's seconds from bursting into tears, but her relationship with Bruce Dern sits at the heart of the film. Bruce plays a cabdriver who spends most of the film pretending to be an lawyer as he searches for the missing heir to a fortune and for most of the film they bicker as only two people in a long term relationship can. It's a nice counter-point to the relationship of Devane and Black, which is very much one of control and malevolence. Devane is the lost heir with a dark secret who gleefully runs the kidnapping racket from the back room of his hi-end jewellery business.
This is mostly worth watching because it's the last film of Hitchcock, it's punctuated with some nice moments of tension, particularly the final showdown between the two couples in the basement of Devane's house. And as with all Hitchcock movies, the all comes down to this final scene and it's amazing to see how little time is left at the end for Hitchcock to wrap things up with. How unlike most modern films that seem to spend an age getting to the end and far too long wrapping everything up. This also has a bloody good soundtrack from John Williams.
This was a fun but slight film probably best watched on a Sunday afternoon. 7/10

SHUT-IN MOVIES #15 - REAR WINDOW (1954)

Now, that's a classic! After the tedium and creepiness of Vertigo I decided to watch Rear Window, another 'classic' I'd never seen. And I gotta say I really enjoyed it! Great fun. However, I do have reservations. This is definitely a failing of mine but i couldn't wait for the ending, i was frutstrated and anxious to know what was going to happen, I believe that when I come to watch this for a second time I'll be able to just enjoy it without wanting it to end so quickly because there's so much to love in this film. The film is 100% set bound, but it's that set that helps to make the film so wonderful. It overlooks the shared garden of a four different building tenements and we get to meet a huge cast of characters who all live in the various different homes. There's the sexy dancer, the frustrated composer, the lonely spinster, the newly weds, the married couple and their dog and the sculpturist. Indeed its amazing how we come to know them so well since we only ever see them in longshot. Hitchcock creates a whole world of different characters all with their own lives and problems. The plot see James Stewart play a photographer who's been stuck indoors for that past 11 weeks with a broken leg who spends his time perving on his neighbours through his rear window. He becomes fixated on one neighbour, Raymond Burr, who Stewart thinks has murdered his own invalided wife. What follows is either a Stewart's descent into paranoic obsession caused by being shut indoors for so long a period, or the witnessing of the aftermath of a domestic murder. The film follows Stewart as he drags, first his nurse Thelma Ritter, and then his girlfriend, the staggering beautiful Grace Kelly in on his obsession, all the while his best friend a homicide detective tries to make him see reason. The film set entirely in Stewart's one room appartment helps to build the sense of claustaphobia, and Stewart's vunerability helps to build the building sense of dread. This film is the very definition of a slow burn movie, which i didn't like on this viewing but will like do on the next. Those final minutes of the film are simply exhilarating! I was utterly gripped, that slow burn makes it that payoff makes the whole film so so worth it! Bloody loved it!

9/10

SHUT-IN MOVIES #14 - VERTIGO (1958)

I decided it was time to watch something I've never seen before that considered to be a classic. Believe it or not there are many so called classic films I've never seen, including, but not only: Dirty Dancing, Sound of Music, Gone With the Wind, Little Trouble in Big China, Rear Window, Kramer vs. Krammer and many others to numerous to mention. So, today I sat down to finish off Alfred Hitchcock's 1958 classic VERTIGO, starring Jimmy Stewart and Kim Novak. It's taken me two days to watch this, so I think it's safe to say it didn't engage me greatly. And having just finished watching it, I gotta say I ain't a fan, in fact I actually burst out laughing at the end, thank god I didn't see this at the NFT or I'd have been lynched. That said, there are many bits I enjoyed, the way it looks, the superb music, the sets, the matte paintings, the strange colours, the utterly superb dream sequence but overall it's downright creepy and unpleasant and not in a good way. Stewart plays an love obsessed cop with vertigo who falls in love with Kim Novak only to watch her leap to her death when he's unable to climb a tower to stop her from jumping. This film, over 2 hours in length spends its first hour or so just establishing the relationship between the two leads. And indeed for the first hour literally nothing happens, except Stewart fails to indicate at any time during the world's slowest car chase through San Fransisco while he tails the girl of his dreams. Once the girl of his dreams, actually the wife of an old college chum of his, ends up dead, having leaped to the her death from the tower, then the film finally starts to unravel the mystery and ratchet up the creepiness as Stewart fixates on a girl he sees in the streets who looks like his dead one love. He follows her back to her hotel and manipulates her into dressing and looking exactly like his dead lost love, all the time ignoring the fact that there's another girl who'd deeply in love with him (Midge Wood, played by Barbara Bel Geddes) who he doesn't seem to give two shits about waiting for him at home. Seriously, Stewart's character is a right dick. Anyway, this film winds its languid way back towards a Columbo style ending back at the tower, where his true love died for a seriously hilarious 'shock' revelation that made me burst out laughing. I often feel with certain directors that it's not 'form' to criticise their films, but for me, Vertigo was just a long shaggy dog story only saved by a very funny punchline. 7/10

SHUT-IN MOVIE #13 - SANDY WEXLER (2017)

What is it with me and Adam Sandler? I keep watching his movies and never seem to learn my lesson. Damn it, there's something about him that I kinda like, he's been in films that I've loved and so I keep giving him another pass. But for every Punch, Drunk, Love or Murder Mystery there's a Grown Ups, Pixels, Jack and Jill, Ridiculous Six. And so I settled on Sandy Wexler. A film is so staggering meh it's uhh, actually staggering. The plot follows Hollywood talent agent, Sandy Wexler's (Adam Sandler) float, float, mild rise and fall, and finally HUGE RISE to the top. The comedy, when it comes is provided from his stable of mostly useless talent and a vast cameo of friends of Sandler who all pop up to tell us how awful Wexler is until the end and we find out the truth. What is it about Sandler that makes me keep coming back for more? That said, his one man show on Netflix is pretty funny. Avoid this and watch that instead, or if you've already seen that then only watch this if you have already watched everything else on Netflix twice before. 3/10

SHUT-IN MOVIE #12- CONTAGION (2011)

Today was a Netflix movie day. It's hard to find films I want to watch on Netflix, they don't seem to have a lot to choose from, which I realise isn't the case, but I find navigating through it very tedious and unenjoyable. I tried watching the following but quickly gave up on. #1. STRIPES #2. CODE 8 #3. TIME TRAP That's when I saw CONTAGION and thought, I'd give it another go. I'd watched it when it was first released in 2011 and had enjoyed it to a degree but felt it was a little bit meh. The trailer had made it look like a rollicking and tense drama, which it most certainly wasn't. It's only now, through the filter of Covid 19 that you realise that Steven Soderbergh is a soothe sayer and this film is a premonition of things to come...

It feels like a docu-drama and follows the birth of a virus as it sweeps the world, from China carried by patient Zero, Paltrow back to the US and her loving husband Matt Damon. From then it's all very terrifying and since the virus is far more deadly than Covid the death count is huge. There's an impressive sense of building dread and pandemonium and watching the large cast, which includes Laurence Fishburne, Jude Law, Kate Winslet, Marion Cotillard and Bryan Cranston trying to save the world, is very gripping. This is like one of the classic 1970s disaster movies but filtered through 21st Century sensibilities. The only thing Soderbergh fails to predict is blond, mentally deficient clown President ranting and spluttering incoherent bollox about injecting bleach and rude reporters, which only goes to show that Soderbergh knew having a comedy relief character would have blown the drama. Perhaps not the best film to watch in the present climate but I gotta say I enjoyed it. 8/10

SHUT-IN MOVIE #11 - RE-WRITE (2014)

This 2014 romantic comedy starring Hugh Grant and Marisa Tomei was written and directed by Marc Lawrence and Grant himself described the film as "about a broken man who mends himself." Well, dear reader he had me at 'broken', I couldn't wait to catch up with Hugh Grant and Marc Lawrence's take on the Six Million Dollar Man. I just knew this was going to be awesome! Maybe Marisa Tomei would be the new Jamie Sommers! Now I'll be the first to admit that Hugh's foppish, quaint and dry British wit wouldn't have been my first choice to play the role of American astronaut, test pilot and spy Steve Austin, but you know I was willing to give it a go. See you all in 106 minutes. Well, that was unexpected. This film took some rather major liberties with my beloved Six Million Dollar Man. For a start, rather than have Steve Austin suffer a spectacular crash that sees him transformed into the world's first bionic man we have Hugh Grant's Keith Michaels suffer the horrors of having his electricity switched off and his latest script rejected by Hollywood. And whereas Steve Austin went through months of painful physiotherapy, Keith Michaels is forced to accept a teaching post at a Mid-west University teaching screenwriting to a room for of beautiful young women he'd like to sleep with. Luckily Marisa Tomei is on hand as the wise beautiful older woman to help him rekindle his passion of writing and re-connect with his son. What follows is a film so generic you actually find yourself thinking you've seen it before even though you haven't, and whose dialogue and plot points you can easily guess with a 80% success rate. This is a film that slavishly follows the Syd Field's classic three act story structure, including the obligatory 10 minute hook, the midway peak and subsequent third act reversal of fortune – that our hero, actually self references it during the film for the benefit of the audience. The plot is so generic, you could have written it by plucking magnetic fridge words out of a bag and re-arranging them. Down on his luck, burned out, divorced dad and Hollywood writer, who's not had a hit film in 15 years, finds redemption and love teaching screenwriting in a midwest University. It's clear that writer/directer Marc Lawrence utterly loves his lead character and fully believes in the emotional arc he traverses. Although the truth is that this film has all the emotional depth of a saucer of spilt tea. The music too is bland to the point of nausea. I think I'm going to stick to old films from now on. You can't go wrong with those! Tomorrow I'm going to rewatch Sex Lives of the Potato Men! C– could do better. 4/10

SHUT-IN MOVIE #10: 2010 THE YEAR WE MAKE CONTACT (1984)

This was the sequel that the world had been screaming for over 16 years! Starring Roy Scheider, John Lithgow, Helen Mirren, Bob Balaban Keir Dullea, and The Monolith. Written, produced and directed by Peter Hyams, based on a novel by Arthur. C. Clarke. Special effects by Richard Edlund and designs by the late, great Syd Mead. The plot! It's 2010 and something is happening to the abandoned Discovery spaceship left drifting in orbit around Uranus since 2001, when onboard computer Hal 900 had the mother of all, 'have you tried turning it off and on again?' meltdowns and killed everybody. Everyone that is save for astronaut Dave Bowman who set off on a journey through a stargate and disappeared. Sorry, it's actually Jupiter, but that's not as funny as Uranus. Anyway. Swapping sharks for dolphins, Roy Scheider's Dr. Floyd, leaves his aquatic chums behind and sets off to outer space with brah-buddies, Lithgow (big ol' lug) and Balaban (daddy of Hal 900) to find out what went wrong. Meanwhile, Keir Dullea's Dave Bowman comes back to Earth to prick-tease us all by repeatedly telling everyone he meets that 'Something wonderful is coming.' Which, coincidently is the exact same thing I said to my wife on our wedding night. Anyway, our plucky heroes, aka: The Dirty Quarter Dozen hitch a ride onboard the Russian spaceship Leonov with Russian hardass scientist and captain Tanya Kirbuk (Helen Mirren) and set off to Uranus, cos it's still funny, or Europa where something wonderful is happening. And along the way, nothing is explained and the film reaches it's conclusion 116 minutes later. Visually, this film looks great, the sets, the ships all designed by Syd Mead are glorious, and there's something very exciting about being back onboard the Discovery and catching up with Hal. But for all of it's build up and hints of something more, there's really not a lot going on beneath the bonnet and the ending suggesting 'something wonderful' just feels like a non-punchline at the end of a huge shaggy dog story. However all that said, I still kind of like this, because I like slow-burn movies, especially science fiction ones, plus it has four fantastic actors, Helen Mirren, Bob Balaban, John Lithgow and Roy Schiender, although Mirren feels wasted. And it's always a joy to see Schiender in anything, he elevates every film he's in. TRIVIA NOTE: Watch closely and you'll spot a cameo by both Arthur C. Clarke and Stanley Kubrick. 8/10

SHUT-IN MOVIE #9: MIDNIGHT RUN (1988)

Starring Robert De Niro, Charles Grodin, Yaphet Kotto, John Aston, Dennis Farina, Joe Pantoliano, and Philip Baker Hall. Directed by Martin Brest. This 1988 comedy buddy films sees bounty hunter Jack Walsh, Robert De Niro trying to transport mob accountant Jonathan Mardukas, Charles Grodin, back to Los Angeles after he skips bail, all the while trying to stay ahead of a rival bounty hunter, a very pissed off FBI agent, Yaphet Kotto and a very angry mob boss, Dennis Farina. This film marks an extremely creative period for De Niro who'd go on to make 18 films in the next 10 years including, Goodfellas, Cape Fear, Casino, Jackie Brown and Heat. This is an absolute delight of a movie with superb chemistry between De Niro and Grodin as De Niro shows off his comedy chops bouncing off Grodin with a very measured and skilful performance. Meanwhile Grodin plays the straight man to a tee. With a really witty, well written script, a lovely boozy soundtrack and an 18 certificate this is one of those wonderfully rare movies that's profane, violent, funny and completely enjoyable. A true feel good movie that's bound to put a smile on your face. 9/10

SHUT-IN MOVIE #8: CONTACT (1997)

Released in 1997, directed by Roger Zemeckis and based on a story by Carl Sagan. Staring Jodie Foster, Matthew McConaughey, Tom Skerritt, John Hurt, James Wood and Angela Bassett. The film is a thoughtful treaty on science and religion, which sees orphaned astrophysicist, Dr. Ellie Arroway discover a signal from an extraterrestrial source containing instruction to build a machine and sets out to make it happen. The film follows the efforts of a diverse group of people as mankind attempts to come to terms with the news they are not alone, whilst simultaneously attempting to build the device. Meanwhile, Ellie does her damnedest to hog all of the glory and steal the limelight, only to see all her plans for self-aggrandising scuppered by her science boss Professor David Drumlin, Tom Skerritt who heroically thwarts her plans. Sadly, he dies at the hands of Ellie's secret sidekick, a religious fanatic played by William 'Jake' Busey who blows up the first device, killing David and thus allowing Ellie to take his place and flight off to meet the aliens. In an original ending to the film, Ellie meets the aliens who turn out to be hellbent on invading the Earth and enslaving all mankind, and teleports all the gold from Fort Knox to their home world, which causes their atmosphere to explode. Anyway, this is another long film, running to 149 minutes, which manages to marry a romantic subplot alongside all the science guff and the search to crack the code the aliens send us, however it's the length that makes this so enjoyable, the measured script, the ebb and flow of Ellie's journey. There are all too few adult science fiction films which focus on ideas rather than Wham Bam Thank you Mam! To this short list you can add, (obvs) 2001: A Space Odyssey, 2010: The Year We make Contact, Colossus: The Forbin Project and Arrival, The Martian and Forbidden Planet. Slow, profound and moving I loved this film when I first saw it and still love it to this day. Jodie gives another strong performance and her chemistry with Matthew McConaughey is strong. Zemeckis directs with his usual skill and flair, and only the repetitive music by Alan Silvestri, which feels a little too manipulative, mars this outing. 9/10

SHUT-IN MOVIE #7: THE OUTLAW JOSEY WALES (1976)

I stumbled across this on TCM on Wednesday evening, it had already started and was already 15 minutes into the running time. This has always been one of my favourites so I decided to watch it properly without adverts, and this morning I sat down and watched it and all the extras on my 2001 DVD edition. I'm very glad I did. The story, set at the end of the American Civil War sees renegade Southern, Josey Wales searching for revenge after the brutal slaughter of his family as he's hunted across American by the men who murdered his wife and torched his farm. But it's also about a man, emotionally dead, rediscovering his humanity as he inadvertently creates a new family made up of other damaged souls he encounters along the way. Watching Josey's character soften and his humanity rekindled is what gives this film it's true heart and a charm, a charm that is sorely missing in most Westerns. People often claim Unforgiven is Eastwood's best western, but for me it's this one. And his Josey Wales is by far his most sympathetic and stoic western hero. Clint Eastwood directs and stars along with Chief Dan George, Sondra Locke, John Vernon and Bill McKinney. The cinematography by Bruce Surtees, James Fargo, and Fritz Manes is rich and natural. Clint shot the film on many locations in early Autumn to catch the right sort of light. The dialogue, from a script by Phil Kaufman and Sonia Chernus is well written and nicely clipped and nearly every line Josey utters is worthy of a t-shirt. And the music by Jerry Fielding is a perfect fit. Just love this film and once again I barely noticed the running time of 131 minutes, indeed this is one of those rare films I would happily of continued to watch if it had run for another 131 minutes. Finally if you own this on DVD or blu and haven't watched the extras give them a go, there' two of merit a short 7 minute piece filmed at the time showing Eastwood behind the cameras and a longer 30 minute docu filmed in 2001 and talking to Eastwood and several member of the original cast which is worth watching. There's also a wonderful end credit sequence featuring every scene of Eastwood spitting while he explains which chewing tobacco he used. 9/10

SHUT-IN MOVIES #6 - MISSION TO MARS (2000)

This 2000 science fiction clunker proves that nothing ages more quickly than early CGI. The effects in this film are very raw and so of their time that they instantly and effectively destroy the film for good. Which is interesting because old special effects with models and blue screen and matts and all those other tricks are not spoiled by the passage of time, actually the opposite is true. Ok, sure some of pre-CGI effects are clunky, but I would argue that those old fashioned special effects have a charm about them that means we forgive them their trespasses, what's more lovely than an old fashioned space ship, with string visible or a travelling matt line? But in Mission to Mars, the CGI effects are so primitive that all they do is make you realise everything you're looking at is fake and as you lose the ability to suspend disbelief. The plot sees a mission to Mars go bad and a rescue crew lead by Tim Robbins, his wife, Connie Neilson and Jerry O'Connell sent to save the one remaining astronaut, Don Cheadle. While back at mission control, Gary Sinise experiments with male makeup. It turns out on Mars, there's this great big alien head waiting for man to open it and receive a message from the Martians who it turns out all fucked off when their world got blitzed by an asteroid, millions of years earlier. Oh and they seeded Earth too.

Also, has no one ever noticed that despite being crap, this film beats 2015's The Martian to the punch by 15 years by having an astronaut marooned on Mars on his own and having to survive using plants and stuff. It's directed by Brian De Palma with music by Ennio Morricone. And clearly sponsored by Skittles and Dr. Peppers. Plus the whole film is made horribly jarring by Gary Sinises's black eye liner. Bollocks. 3/10

SHUT-IN MOVIE #5: THE BIG LEBOWSKI (1998)

Not seen this for a while, and boy was it fun to revisit. My daughter asked me what it was about as it started and I told her it was all about a man and his stolen rug. She looked at me bemused but stayed the distance. Jeff Bridges turns in a career defining role as The Dude and is amply supported by the likes of John Goodman, Steve Buscemi, Julianne Moore, John Turturro and Phillip Seymour Hoffman. And let's not forget Sam Elliot. With a mellow soundtrack and some lovely Roger Deakins cinematography this really is one of the Coen Brother's best films. It's a slacker crime noir and features kidnapping, porn stars, nihilistic gangsters and copious amounts of White Russians. A joy from beginning to end. 10/10

SHUT-IN MOVIE #4: DEAD OF NIGHT (1945)

This film is so British if it was cut it would bleed red white and blue. The framing concept sees Mervyn Jones's character - an architect - arrive at a crowded country house filled with a dreadful premonition of impending doom, death and murder. The other gathered guests try to break him out of his dread by sharing ghost stories including a psychiatrist, Dr. Van Straaten as played by Frederick Valk who ends up sharing the most terrifying story of them all. This anthology features five ghost stories in total and there's not really a duff one among any of them. Two of the tales truly stick out as the pick of the crop. The first is a comical story of two friends, both golf fanatics, who battle over the affections of a woman, which ends with one of the men committing suicide only to come back to haunt the other leading to a very surprising and funny ending. However the true highlight of Dead of Night is The Ventriloquist's Dummy segment. It features ventriloquist, Michael Redgrave, and his domineering dummy, Hugo who wants out of their partnership. Although this segment is the most successful, it's what happens next to Jones's character that's the most unsettling of all, especially when Hugo does something most unexpected. The film finally and very cleverly links all the separate chapters together and in doing so delivers a lovely and deeply satisfying ending. A brisk 99 minutes long and not a wasted second. A most satisfying movie and well worth a visit if you're bored of binging on boxsets or yet another bloated Marvel slugfest. I'm really enjoying revisiting these old classics, they have a quality that gets better with age, theirs and mine. 10/10

SHUT IN-MOVIES - #3: THREE CASES OF MURDER (1955)

You won't find this on Netflix or Amazon Prime, which is a shame because it's an absolute tour-de-force and delight. Described on the back cover of the dvd as a 'lost classic', this 1955 film is a portmanteau collection of three short films, The Picture, You Killed Elizabeth and Lord Mountdrago. Each has a different director, David Eady, George more O'Ferrall and Wendy Toye, but it's worth noting that Orson Welles obvioulsy directed his instalment, although uncredited. The film is bookended by a young Eamon Holmes, who introduces each segment. The first, The Painting is my favourite of the three and tells the tale of a haunted painting in a museum, it's sinister but oh so utterly British in its politeness. The second, the weakest of the three is a murder mystery about a doomed love triangle, that just plays it as a straight murder. The third stars Orson Welles as the pompous and arrogant Lord Mountdrago - the Foreign Secretary of an obvious Tory Government who utterly humiliates a Welsh MP, Alan Badel, during a debate in the House of Commons. Badel swears revenge and stalks Mountdrago's dreams leading to a series of nightmares all directed by Orson Welles. Charming, delightful and extremely enjoyable. Only the second film fails to deliver, but that's mostly down to the fact it lacks the fantastical elements of the other two. There's a great bonus on this DVD called: Return to Glennascaul, which also stars Orson Welles. It's a 20 minute ghost story, with a very funny punchline. Great fun. A throughly enjoyable film it offers a glimpse into a long lost Britain. 9/10

SHUT IN-MOVIES - #2: BURN AFTER READING (2008)

Next up was Burn After Reading - the Coen brothers 2008 movie starring John Malkovich, Brad Pitt, Tilda Swinton, George Clooney, Francis MacDormand and Richard Jenkins.  

This is a brisk 90 odd minute comedy, which is still very funny thanks to some great acting against type from the stella cast. Fun to see Brad Pitt playing such a dim character, George Clooney playing an utterly unloveable creep, Francis MacDormand playing the body obsessed gym trainer who inadvertently becomes the lynchpin to the madness about to unfold and John Malkovich just going bat shit crazy. I loved every minute of his breakdown, and he's the nicest character in this whole farce. This was a breezy, slight and very silly Coen brother film, which definitely ranks as a level two Coen Bros movie. The humour and the mania building nicely but always with that strange edge that Coen brothers films have, the edge that can at any second suddenly spiral into dark and nasty territories. 8/10

SHUT-IN MOVIES #1 - ANATOMY OF A MURDER (1959)

Since I can't get to the cinema at present, like everyone else obviously, I thought I'd work my way through my film library. I saw a review for this first film in Empire magazine, it's just been re-released on Blu-ray and I remember I had it on DVD and not watched it in years, so I thought I'd start off my SHUT-IN MOVIES with: ANATOMY OF A MURDER.
BLOODY WOW! What a superb film. Directed by Otto Preminger and starring James Stewart, Lee Remick, Ben Gazzara and George C. Scott, with music by Duke Ellington. First time in ages I've watched a 2 and a half hour film and it didn't feel too long and or dragged out. Plus not a single explosion, car chase, or special effect (obviously). This seems like a strange thing to pick out, but I was delighted by a lovely camera cut early on in the film when Stewart, in mid sentence, stands up in his chair and the camera cuts and the line continues fluidly. I know it doesn't sound like much, but I loved it. Later there's a great scene where George C. Scott is questioning a witness and in the background we can see James Stewart watching from his seat. Repeatedly and with his back to Stewart, Scott takes a step to one side to block Stewart's view, so Stewart is forced to move to the other side to get a view and Scott steps again to block Stewart. It's so superbly timed and feels utterly natural, particularly because Scott is facing us the whole time. I was also amazed by the dialogue and the language in the film it sounds, at times, quite shocking and there's an astonishing moment when Lee Remick admits to sometimes walking around not wearing panties! James Stewart, as ever, sucks your attention, he is so effortlessly charming and manages to imbue his characters with such believability. Similarly, George C. Scott brings a real sense of contempt for Stewart and their chemistry is a delight to watch. Plus! There's the superb soundtrack by Duke Ellington, who also cameos and let's not forget the credits and poster by Saul Bass. Nor the skill of Otto Preminger as director and producer. The trailer for this is a delight too. Just fantastic! If you've not seen it, give it a go. 10/10