2023 A REVIEW: THE BEST AND WORST OF IT.

FILMS OF 2023

So, that was, or is, 2023, a year filled with an actors and writers strike, the return of a much loved character for his swansong, while two huge franchises, one bloated and bland, the other thrilling and gripping both launched their penultimate instalments, and two movies one about a girl's doll and the other about the creator of the atom bomb that danced their way, hand in hand, to the top of the box office. And also it was the first year where I got to be a judge at an actual film festival, judging the animation category, which was a great honour and my thanks to the Ealing Film Festival for that honour.

This year I managed to visit the cinema 70 times and watch 67 films, 13 of which were reissues of classic films and 54 that were new movies. 

SO, here we go for the list no one wants or even cares about. 

First up, we have my list for the top ten movies of 2023.

TOP TEN OF 2023

1. GODZILLA MINUS ONE 10/10
"A superb, dramatic and emotional film that actually managed to make me well up with emotion in the final battle. And I simply cannot fault this film."

2. ASTEROID CITY 10/10
"Although most definitely not for everyone, I still believe that this is this years most delightful and unique film without a doubt."

3. RYE LANE 9/10
"It's been a while since I've seen something so joyful, funny and just so British. This was a wonderful little film and I thoroughly loved it. More please from everyone involved."

4. MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: DEAD RECKONING PART 1. 9/10
"The first summer blockbuster that didn't disappoint and didn't elicit a 'that's better than I thought it would be.' I loved it, and can't wait to see it again."

5. BLACKBERRY 9/10
"Catch it if you can, it's a pacy, pithy, and phunny film!" 

6. SCALA!!! 9/10
"A great tribute to a great cinema and the pure nostalgic sense of euphoria it triggered was delightful. Plus it makes me want to go back and rewatch some of those films all over again!

7. BARBIE 8/10
"THIS is a funny, clever and thoroughly entertaining movie, that doesn't outstay its welcome, and most certainly doesn't need a male reviewer to mansplain it to any female readers."

8. THE GREAT ESCAPER 8/10
"It's not sentimental and it's not overly melodramatic, the script is moving and sincere, and very satisfying and I was still a tad overwhelmed by this several hours after watching it."

9. BABYLON 8/10
"A visual tour-de-force that left me dazed and breathless, but which also left the group of chums I saw this not only unmoved, and divided but openly hostile about it."

10. OPPENHEIMER 8/10
"Deeply satisfying yet somewhat disappointing." 

HONOURABLE MENTION

11. SALTBURN 8/10
"Darkly funny, sinister and refreshingly nasty."

ALL THE REST:
12. THE FLASH 8/10 (X2)

13. THE EQUALIZER 3 8/10

14. ARE YOU THERE, GOD? IT'S ME, MARGARET 8/10

15. THE CREATOR 8/10

16. THE FABELMANS 8/10

17. KILLERS OF THE FLOWER MOON 8/10

18. RENFELD 8/10

19. SISU 8/10

20. FERRARI 7/10

21. NAPOLEON 7/10

22. SAW X 7/10

23. RISE OF THE FOOTSOLDIER: VENGEANCE 7/10

24. THEATRE CAMP 7/10

25. INDIANA JONES: DIAL OF DESTINY 7/10

26. M3GAN 7/10

27. CREED III 7/10

28. DUNGEONS & DRAGONS 7/10

29. NUN II 7/10

30. A HAUNTING IN VENICE 7/10

31. JOY RIDE 7/10

32. ELEMENTAL 7/10

33. THE CANTERVILLE GHOST 6/10

34. WANKA 6/10

35. SOUND OF FREEDOM 6/10

36. NO HARD FEELINGS 6/10

37. THE HUNGER GAMES BOSAS 6/10

38. GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL 3 6/10

39. THE POPE'S EXORCIST 6/10

40. COCAINE BEAR 6/10

41. EVIL DEAD RISE 6/10

TOP TEN RE-ISSUES:
1. IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE 10/10

2. DIE HARD 10/10

3. ALIENS 10/10

4. SUPERMAN 10/10

5. SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS 10/10

6. THE WICKER MAN 10/10

7. STOP MAKING SENSE 10/10

8. THE EXORCIST 10/10

9. ENTER THE DRAGON 8/10

10. TITANIC 3D 8/10

OTHER RE-ISSUES SEEN

11. CHRISTINE 8/10

12. FRIDAY 13TH 7/10

13. LOVE ACTUALLY 6/10

WORST FILMS OF 2023 (IN DESCENDING ORDER)
10. ANT-MAN QUANTEDIUM 6/10
"At least it's less than three hours in length."

9. STRAYS 5/10
"Not a totally dog's dinner but nevertheless it sure as shit ain't the dog's bollox."

8. WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT? 5/10
"Smug, satisfying, simpering and sickeningly twee."

7. BLUE BEETLE 5/10
"Somehow This film delighted critics because, get this, it's not as shit as DCEU last few efforts, Blank Adam, Shazam: Furry Knob."

6. EXPEND4BLES 4/10
"The poster claims that 'they'll die when they're dead.' Sadly for the audience that doesn't come soon enough." 

5. HYPNOTIC 4/10
"Can't think of a single thing to recommend this. Quite literally the dullest film I've seen in an absolute age. And this from a director who once gave us the likes of El Mariachi, Sin City and Planet Terror."

4. THE MEG 2: THE TRENCH 3/10
"Shit, bland and almost completely without merit."

3. FAST AND FURIOUS X 3/10
"This is not a good film by any measure. in fact it's probably one of the worst films of the year."

2. TRANSFORMERS RISE OF THE BREASTS 2/10
"This isn't Fast X sort of shit which becomes funny cos it's so shit, this is just shit with a capital S.H.I.T."   

1. TRIANGLE OF SADNESS 1/10
"A total bag of piss, tied up with string and run over by a truck carrying liquid shit to a vomiting convention. Not worth even checking out for the Captain's Dinner scene. 

Wretched beyond belief."

NEW CATAGORY
TOP TEN MOST READ FILM REVIEWS

1. BARBIE 
2. THE FLASH
3. INDIANA JONES DIAL OF DESTINY 
4. OPPENHEIMER 
5. NAPOLEON 
6. TRANSFORMERS RISE OF THE BREASTS 
7. MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 
8. ANT-MAN 
9. THE FABELMANS 
10. ASTERIOD CITY 
11. BLUE BEETLE 

#67: FERRARI

Starring Adam Driver, Penelope Cruz, Shailene Woodley, Sarah Gadon, Gabriel Leon, Jack O'Connell and Patrick Dempsey. Written by Troy Kennedy Martin. Directed by Michael Mann. Budget $95 million. Running time 124 minutes.

Focusing on one year in the life of Enzo Ferrari (Adam Driver), 1957, the film chronicles the near collapse of his Ferrari company, his crumbling marriage to Laura (Penelope Cruz) thanks to his affair with his mistress Lina (Shailene Woodley) and the infamous 1957 Mille Miglia road race.

With so much story to cram in, the film never leaves fourth gear, and as a result races through the events of that seminal year with barely a pitstop. It's a film that looks great, the Italian setting is a delight and as always Adam Driver gives a commanding performance, although in this race, it's Penelope Cruz who snatches the checkered flag with her emotional performance. However it's ultimately a rather dull experience as we're bounced from one business boardroom drama to a bedroom one in alternate scenes, with race-track action shoe-horned in to keep us invested. Adam Driver, as always, delivers a strong performance as the utterly driven Ferrari, obsessed with winning at any cost, regardless of the cost of money, or lives, or marriages.

We learn that the death of his son Dino had a devastating impact on his marriage to Laura and his subsequent fathering of an illegitimate son with his mistress, Lina hasn't done much to repair the emotional damage. When Ferrari is faced by the spectre of bankruptcy he's forced to put everything on the line by entering five of his cars in the legendary and deadly Mille Miglia road race, believing if he can finish in the top three, he'll save his company. 

What follows, a long time in the coming, is the infamous road race itself (the last time it was ever raced), which ends at a devastating cost. 

The film, reminded me of Ridley Scott's 2021 film House of Gucci, not only because both are obviously set in Italy and both star Adam Driver, but also in the directing style of both men. Lovely framed establishing shots, and tracking shots, beautiful views of the Italian countryside, immersive camera angles and great editing, this is a well mounted and beautiful looking film.

When the film focuses on the driving it's a gripping, white knuckle ride, made all the more dramatic by the obvious lack of safety features racing cars of the 50s offered their young drivers. Likewise the boardroom drama and clashes with Laura, who owned 50 % of the company, their collective grief over the death of their son powers the interactions greatly, however it's the repeated returns to domestic bliss with his mistress Lina which causes the film to miss-fire and stalls the film repeatedly, since there's no drama here at all just an idyll.

In the build up to the 1957 Mille race, we have several training sequences, one of which, featured in the trailer, ends in disaster, before the race itself gets going. Then the film lets rip, but by then I was left a little deflated. 

I was excited to learn it was written by one of my favourite screenwriters, Troy Kennedy Martin who wrote some of my favourite films including The Italian Job, Kelly Heroes, Sweeney II, and the utterly incredible Edge of Darkness. And he wrote this back in 2009. It was well directed and acted and looks great but sadly I was just left a flat by it all.

7/10

#66: IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE

 

Starring James Stewart, Donnna Reed, Lionel Barrymore, Thomas Mitchell, henry Travers, Beulah Bondi, Ward Bond, Frank Faylen and Gloria Grahame. Written by Fracnes Goodrich, Albert Hackett, Frank Capra and Joe Swerling. Directed by Frank Capra. Budget $3.5 million. Running time 131 minutes.

A one word review - Wonderful!

Just wonderful. Beautifully written, great direction and a superb performance by James Stewart. I just love this film. It's one of my four favourite Christmas movies along with A Christmas Story, Scrooge (1951) and Bad Santa and Die Hard (yes I know that's five).

Produced and directed by Frank Capra, it always amazes me to realise that on its release this film flopped, and only became a Christmas stapple when first shown on American TVs in the 50s.

Seeing this restored version of IAWL on the big screen means you get to see things you probably missed if you've only watched it on a TV, count how many rooms the drawing of George lassoing the moon turns up for example, or better yet see if you can spot the newspaper headline declaring that 'Mr. Smith has won a nomination to go to Washington'.

Stewart is brilliant as George Bailey, the richest man in town. He portrays Bailey from the age of approximately 20 to late 40s and without the need for elaborate make up. He is the prototype Tom Hanks and it's on his performance that the whole film swings. That's to take nothing away from the supporting cast, lead by the Donna Reed, who all give this film its huge heart and character.

The story sees George Bailey, a man who sacrifices his own dreams and ambitions for the greater good of Bedford Falls, who when, through no fault of his own, faces financial ruin and imprisonment decides to kill himself. He is saved by a trainee angel who grants him his wish of never having been born and discovers just how much his life has touched the lives of so many others.

For a film that's nearly 75 years old to be this captivating, this engrossing and this magical is a pure triumph. As a callow art school youth I scoffed at this and Singing in the Rain, believing them to be old and fuddy-duddy, despite the fact I'd never actually watched them. And in both cases I stumbled across them whilst watching tv, I came in half-way through in both cases and was captivated by both and I love them to this day.

This film lifts my spirit and makes me feel deeply moved and I bloody love it without reserve.

The perfect Christmas movie and one of my actual Top Ten Movies of all times.

10/10

#65: DIE HARD

Starring Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman, Bonnie Bedelia. Written by Jeb Stuart and Steven E. de Souza. Directed by John McTiernan. Budget $35 million. Running time 132 minutes.  

New York cop, John McClane (Bruce Willis) arrives in Los Angeles on the literal eve of Christmas to spend the holidays with his estranged wife, Holly (Bonne Bedelia) and young family. Chauffeured to the Nakatomi building, McClane arrives in the middle of a joint Christmas/business celebration only to become right man in the wrong place and time when an army of highly deadly and well equipped Euro-trash terrorists, lead by Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman) hi-jack the office Christmas Party as a cover for stealing 600 million dollars worth of bearer bonds, not realising that one of the guests is actually a NYPD cop...

What follows is a masterclass in action cinema, and quite frankly one of the best films ever filmed, it's certainly in my top ten all time favourite films.

It's the film that made Bruce Willis, introduced the world to Alan Rickman and cemented John McTiernan as one of the best action directors.

I've always loved this movie, and last saw it on the big screen back in 2021, oddly enough I saw it back then with It's a Wonderful Life, which is the next film I saw. Seeing 'it', Die Hard on the big screen again is always a delightful experience, films need to be seen on the big screen, where you lose yourself in the experience in a way you don't at home. You seen things you miss on a small screen. Willis cared back then and it shows, Rickman is simply superb in his breakout role as the leader of the gang of ex-terrorists, Hans Gruber and the movie gave Robert Davi a brief golden period in his career, leading to the role of the villain, Franz Sanchez, in the Bond film Licence to Kill.

This is a glorious action film that has no need for shaky cam or frenzied editing to convey drama, it's got an endlessly quotable script and it's well plotted and has no flabby centre, the way it sets up the scenario and introduces the villains is a masterclass in plotting. That coupled with good practical effects, some nifty compositing and a 15 cert for bloody violence, plus bare breasts makes it one of my top ten favourite films!

10/10

#64: GODZILLA MINUS ONE

 

Starring Ryunosuke Kamiki, Minami Hamabe, Yuki Yamada, Munetaka Aoki, Hidetaka Yoshioka, Sakura Ando and Kuranosuke Sasaki. Written and directed by Takashi Yamazaki. Visual special effects by Takashi Yamazaki and Kiyoko Shibuya. 

Budget $15 million dollars. Running time 125 minutes.

As the Second World War draws to an end, failed kamikaze pilot Shikishima (Ryunosuke) returns home in Tokyo suffering from severe survivor's guilt only to find his family home destroyed, his parents dead, and himself suffering from terrible flashbacks to when a juvenile Godzilla attacked his Pacific island airbase and slaughtered every one there, save him and the chief mechanic. But when another survivor of the Tokyo bombing, a woman called Noriko Oishi, whose parents also died in the bombing stumbles into his life, with a newborn orphaned baby, he takes  a job onboard a rickety old wooden ex-fishing boat hunting mines in Tokyo harbour to support them.

However, fate isn't done with him just yet or with Japan for that matter, and all hell is about to breakout, Godzilla style...

What follows is simply staggering, and one of the best films I've seen all year. Focusing on the ordinary man and woman in the street and more importantly an ordinary young family and the effects of Godzilla attack first hand, this is an astonishing film with real heart and emotion, much time is spent with the young unmarried couple and their baby as they start to rebuild their lives following the war, while all the time the ever-present ominous spectre of Godzilla looms ever closer. Ryunosuke's guilt ruins any chance he has at building a new life until Godzilla erupts out of the sea and he's given one last chance to fight for his future. 

Naturally when it comes to a Godzilla film you come for the action and Minus One does not disappoint, there are five set pieces, which will leave you breathless with tension, including a sea based chase that manages to out 'Jaws' Jaws, if you will as Godzilla chases down an anti-mining ship in the ocean. However it's when Godzilla makes land fall that the action truly unleashes leading to a genuinely extraordinary sequence that left the audience stunned into silence. And later on when silence is used to dramatic effect you could have heard a pin drop in the auditorium so invested was the audience. 

If your only connection with the Big G is through the Hollywood films of the past nine years and do yourself a favour and go and see this, I predict you've never seen anything like it. 

Making this a period piece movie was a stroke of genius, making the struggle against Godzilla all the more dramatic.

There have been 33 Toho studio Godzilla films since 1954 and 37 if you factor in the US efforts and this is simply one of the best, if not the best one yet! 

A superb, dramatic and emotional film that actually managed to make me well up with emotion in the final battle. And I simply cannot fault this film. A friend of mine once said, that when a man is tired of watching a man in a monster suit trash scale models of Tokyo he is tired of life and I agree, however in this instance, I came for the destruction and carnage and fell in love with the humanity and the human drama. 

Simply one of the best films I've seen all year and I urge you to see it! 10/10

63: WANKA

 

Starring: Timothee Chalamet, Calah Lane, Keegan-Michael Key, Paterson Joseph, Matt Lucas, Mathew Baynton, Sally Hawkins, Rowan Atkinson, Jim Carter, Tom Davis, Olivia Colman and Hugh Grant. 

Written by Simon Farnaby and Paul King. Directed by Paul King. Budget $125 million. Running time 116 minutes.

Just like the poster for the film (see above) this is a sickly sweet, over sugared confectionary of a movie that will leave you feeling nauseous from the visual overload and bombarded by a parade of instantly forgettable musical numbers, because make no mistake, this is a MUSICAL, in tooth and roar. Not even the severely under-used Hugh Grant, the films MVP, can save this from slowly melting into a overlong slog of generic panto-like story tropes and plot points, despite the extremely talented cast of British comedians in all the back-up roles giving it their damdest! 

Game Timothee Chalamet presents us with a doe-eyed, innocent, and illiterate Wanka still grieving the death of his mother many years earlier and setting out into the big wide world to open up his very own chocolate shop right in the middle of a fabulous shopping arcade directly opposite a cartel of three highly ruthless, greedy and murderous chocolate moguls played by Paterson Joseph as Arthur Slugworth, Matt Lucas as Prodnose and Mathew Baynton as Fickelgruber. Together with the corrupt police captain, Keegan-Michael Key they try to at first intimidate Wanka before just giving up and just trying to murder him. 

The plot see Wanka get off a ship, make his way into the big city, only to end up penniless and the victim of a scam that sees him imprisoned in a guest house run by Olivia Colman and Tom Davis. There Wanka meets up with the other members of this rapidly expanding cast and devises a plan to escape, free the other prisoners, capture the baddies and punish the guilty. Oh, and find out who the young orphan girl Noodle, Calah Lane, is. Added to Wanka's To-Do-List, is find out who's the short orange creature sneaking into his room at night and stealing all his chocolate might be. Oh, wait he also has to build his chocolate empire and fulfill a dream his mother gave him. So it's amazing to think he and everyone else has any time at all to launch into a string of instantly forgettable and generic new songs and a couple of classics from the original and vastly superior movie starring Gene Wilder that this film oh so desperately wants to be seen as a worthy successor to. But find the time they do, and you'll be wishing they hadn't by the end of this.

Paul King directed the infinitely better and vastly superior Paddington films and it was this fact alone that drew me all in. Those two films were a delight, a funny, delightful and utterly British affair that lifted one's spirits and left you with a spring in your step. This not so, it starts promisingly and the effervescent and charming Chalamet leaps and dances into the fray, but as the film builds up its massive backstory and plot structure to support the final showdown and the setting of wrongs it becomes bogged down, scenes build to big song and dance numbers and the three act structure which sees our hero defeated and lost at the end of the second act is strongly in place and happy to provide all the tried and tested tricks of Syd Field's classic structure. 

There's a glimmer of hope right at the very end of the film where Wanka and the Oompa Loompa begin to build the famous chocolate factory and you wish the film had started there, rather than an earlier.

For me, the main failing of the film is the introduction of magic into the proceedings, something missing from the original. Here everything that Wanka creates has an element of the magical as part of the ingredients, all clearly inspired by the Hairy Potter films, and this I would argue robs the film of the actual magic of the first. Magic, like Star Trek science is just a lazy device that enables the writer to reverse the polarity of the proton fandango whenever it suits the situation. 

In the original film, it's shown that Wonka is a true chocolate scientist constantly experimenting with unusual ingredients to create new taste sensations, here, Wanka just chucks in the wings of a flying beetle so the eater can fly. Also, as someone who eats chocolate, it's bizarre to see everyone in this film never savouring the chocolate but just crunching into it and munching it in one go, just like you would chomping down on a block of Dairy Milk, happy knowing you've still got a kilo to go. 

There's also a distinct lack of the malevolence of Roald Dahl in the writing, everything here is twee and far too nice, even the baddies are sweet and no one dies horribly. And once again we've been given the origin story of a character which gives us nothing new, and only diminishes the character in question by piling on un-needed emotional baggage.

It's not a terrible film, it's just far too sweetly sick, it's just like Easter Sunday morning where the sight of all your chocolate eggs piled high looks absolutely wonderful but the feeling after you've polished off five kilos of the chocolate goodness or this will leave you craving something more substantial and meaty.

6/10