#57: CAUGHT STEALING

STARRING: Austin Butler, Rgina King, Zoë Kravitz, Matt Smith, Liev Schreiber, Vincent D'Onofrio, Benito Bartinez, Ocasio, Griffen Dunne. Movie score by Rob Simonsen and Idles. Screenplay by Charlie Huston. Directed by Darren Aronofsky. Budget $40 million. Running time 107 minutes.

Billed as a dark comedy crime thriller, this has all the hallmarks of a 1970's thriller but as envisioned by Darren Aronofsky and as such it's about as funny as a positive cancer diagnosis. Set in the 1990s and featuring a furious punk score  and a magnificent soundtrack and featuring a truly impressive cast of actors this was an intense, vicious, nasty and deeply mean-spirited thriller.

Austin Butler is Henry 'Hank' Thompson a high school baseball star with a future as a professional in the majors, but a drunken car crash obliterates his right knee (not that you'd know it) and catapultes his best friend face-first into a telegraph pole. 11 years later and Henry's now a border-line alcoholic bartender working in New York bar and in good relationship with EMT nurse, Yvonne (Zoë Kravitz). However one day Hank's next door neighbour, Russ Binder (Matt Smith) - a British ex-pat punk rocker dumps his cat, and litter tray on him and jets back to London to look after his father who's had a stroke. The next day, the Russian mafia come calling looking for Russ and kick Hank almost to death, rupturing one of his kidneys in the process. Then the police in the guise of Det. Elise Roman (Regina King) come calling and disregard Hank's protestations he's an innocent man. Two days after having his kidney removed he's running for his life from two orthodox Jewish gangsters, Shmully Drucker and Lipa Drucker (Vincent D'Onofrio and Liev Schreiber), the Russian mafia AND an ultra corrupt police office who all believe Hank has something of great value, which is news to him. From there on things go from bad to much much worse, horrifically worse, almost to the point of ridiculousness for Hank, and that's probably enough for the plot.

I was fully engaged with this up until the killing started, the violence which is never anything less than full-on, builds and makes the whole film deeply uncomfortable, Hank's dilemma just keeps growing and to a degree which is frankly laughable (perhaps that's what 'they' meant by 'dark comedy'?) but which leaves you feeling there would be no way he'd ever be free, add to that the sense that if only he, at times would just try and explain what was going on then things wouldn't have gotten so bad. I also had some issues with the horrific knee injury that Hank sustains, which we witness repeatedly throughout the film. As some one who has suffered two major knee injuries that resulted in surgery the film lost me once Hank is seen doing a full-on Tom Cruise run, not once but twice and suffering not one single jolt of pain, and just days after he's had a kidney removed too! 

I can't fault the acting, the direction and the look, but I just couldn't get behind the utter mean-spiritedness of this and the death of one of the main characters was just gratuitous and callous and not remotely warranted that the film totally lost me. This starts strongly, but starts to telegraph its ending and the keen-eyed of you should be able to work out the conclusion. 

It's by no means a bad film, far from it, but its nihilistic, bleak, and relentless viciousness lost me as a fan, but boy is it well made.

8/10  

#56: THE LIFE OF CHUCK

STARRING: Tom Hiddleston, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Karen Gillan, Mia Sara, Carl Lumbly, Benjamin Pajak, Jacob Tremblay and Mark Hamill, and narrated by Nick Offerman. Based on The Life of Chuck by Stephen King. Screenplay and directed by Mike Flanagan. Running time 116 minutes.

Told in reverse order this is the life of Chuck, hence the title. Told in three chapters - 'Thanks, Chuck', 'Buskers Forever' and 'I Contain Multitudes'  and charting Chuck's (Tom Hiddleston) life from his death from a brain tumour to his life as an orphan living with his grandparents - Albie (Mark Hamill) and Sarah (Mia Sara) in a supposed haunted house. 

Of the three chapters, the first: Thanks, Chuck is by far the most satisfying and emotional, offering up, as it does, the end of the world, but not in a Roland Emmerich stylee, this is an altogether more slow burn affair, with California slipping, unseen, into the sea, the death of the internet, massive sink holes, and the stars in the firmament literally popping out of existence, but what does that have to do mysterious billboards and TV adverts declaring "Charles Krantz: 39 Great Years! Thanks, Chuck!"? And yet, somehow rather than be depressing this sequence is genuinely touching, told from the point of view of a newly divorced couple, teacher Marty Anderson (Chiwetel Ejiofor) and nurse Felicia Gordon (Karen Gillan) who reunite to watch the world end, while other lost souls find solace in each other's company, it's rather and profoundly moving.

The second chapter follows the aforementioned accountant Chuck taking an evening off from a convention, when the music of a busker playing the drums inspires him to leap into an impromptu dance routine with a perfect stranger that nets the drummer a tidy tin of tips. Here we learn a little bit more about Chuck, before he returns to the status quo of his life and then the final chapter begins  and we witness the boyhood Chuck living with his grandparents in an old Victorian town-house that may, or may not be haunted and if you've been paying attention the whole film's hidden centre reveals itself to you.

This is an emotional film, beautifully performed by the cast from a witty literate script by Mike Flanagan who also directs, from a Stephen King short story, incidentally this is his third King adaptation after Gerald's Game and Doctor Sleep. This near two hour run time flies by and engages you on a deep emotional level, you come to like these characters and feel for them, and as the ending draws near, their fates come into focus. To help us on the journey, and this film is ALL about the journey, it's narrated by the excellent Nick Offerman offering us the voice of the writer, which gives this film a whole new level and it makes you wish that more films had narration. 

Playing like a 21st Century It's a Wonderful Life, this feels like a Frank Capra film to its core and the cast are exceptional, and how great to see Mark Hamill acting again, it's been too long.

Despite winning some major awards The Life of Chuck has been sadly dumped on audiences almost unannounced, too early for Oscar Season and with little or no fanfare. The chances are you won't get to see this at the cinema, which is a shame, but when it finally lands on TV do yourself a favour and watch it, it's a bitter-sweet, heart warming and life affirming film that will leave you moist eyed and smiling. Well, it did me.

10/10   

#55: THE ROSES

 

STARRING: Benedict Cumberbatch, Olivia Colman, Andy Samberg and Kate McKinnon. Screenplay by Tony McNamara. Directed by Jay Roach. Budget $60 million. Running time 105 minutes.

Theo and Ivy (Benedict Cumberbatch and Olivia Colman) meet up, fall in love and move to America to pursue their dreams, he to become a renowned architect and she too maybe, one day, open up a little restaurant, but until then she's happy to be the stay-at-home mum bring up their two twins on her own. Theo quickly becomes successful and buys his wife a down-on-its-heels seafront establishment she renames "We've Got Crabs" and he builds an eccentric and cutting edge maritime museum which promptly collapses during a hurricane, on the same night Ivy's restaurant gets rave reviews and their fortunes change in one night. He becomes unemployable and she becomes the toast of the town. He stays at home bringing up their insufferable children to become fitness obsessed freaks, while she's flying around the world building an empire of fast-food establishments. After 10 years, he's a weak useless and failed husk of a man and she's the brightest star in the culinary firmament. Desperate for her husband to rekindle his passion she bank rolls his dream of creating a cutting edge family home overlooking the sea and that's where the rot sets in...

This is a remake of the vastly superior 1989 War of the Roses movie starring Kathleen Turner and Michael Douglas and directed by Danny DeVito.

Although it starts very strongly, it sadly doesn't have the teeth to nail its landing. The film wins brownie-points for its cast, and for also taking time to show the life of Ivy and Theo's marriage but it doesn't seem prepared to go the whole hog when it comes to the nastiness of their marital decline. It sadly lacks the bite needed to elevate this to something more savage, something the original film did brilliantly. Here you laugh politely at the couple's antics but you don't recoil from their bile or hate. Indeed, there's never a real sense that they ever truly hate each other, they just seem a little peeved. That said, it's an absolute delight to watch Colman and Cumberbatch acting together. 

I wish the film had been able to play up the nasty aspects of the breakup, but it feels unsure how far it can go, something the original had no qualms about. This lacks the misery, the wanton vandalism, and glorious escalating violence of the former. And it's another of these modern so-called 'black-comedies', that's more a  sort of subtle charcoal grey amusement. 

The film also has a strange visual quality that feels artificial and despite being set in the US, the landscape feels more like Devon, plus the use of CGI backdrops makes the whole feel very fake. 

In the 1989 version, Jonathan and Barbara (the original couple) fight over the house and its contents of valuable antiques and because it, the house, plays such a dominant role throughout their lives together you understood and accepted the stakes, and you brought into the drama, sadly not so in this. The house doesn't even get built until the third act and as such it never feels as if means that much to them both, her in particular. When they finally confront each other over the arbitration table, I found myself thinking the only reason that Ivy wanted the house wasn't because she'd invested anything of her self in it beyond her money, it was just to deny him any ownership. In contrast, all he wants is the house, he's not after her multi-million dollar business empire and yet she refuses to accept the deal and that just doesn't make any sense to me, she openly hates the house, and save the vintage Julia Childs oven she installs in the kitchen she has nothing of herself invested in it at all.

Despite all that, I enjoyed the film I just didn't love it. It has some genuinely funny laugh-out-loud moments, but sadly not enough, The supporting cast is amusing, and I loved the performances, and enjoyed the breakdown antics, but I just wanted more of that, I wanted the japes to get darker and more dangerous, I wanted the stakes to keep rising and sadly they didn't and so when the ending arrived it just sort of  rolled to a halt, while the original crashed to it's conclusion.

7/10 needs arbitration.

     

#54: JAWS

 

STARRING: Roy Scheider, Robert Shaw, Richard Dreyfuss, Lorraine Gary and Murray Hamilton. Screenplay by Peter Benchley and Carl Gottlieb. Directed by Steven Spielberg. Edited by Verna Fields. Produced by Richard R. Zanuck and David Brown. Music by John Williams. Running time 124 minutes. Budget $9 million. Box office $486 million.

The father of the Summer Blockbuster and one of the greatest films ever made. Directed to perfection by a 29 year-old Steven Spielberg and edited by the legendary Verna Fields who would go on to win an Oscar for her work on Jaws. Indeed it's her masterful editing that helps to elevate this film to the level of a masterpiece. 

The film, whose plot must be known by every living person in the world, sees the New England island of Amity terrorised by a 25ft, three tonne Great White shark over the course of an Independence Day weekend, forcing the town's ocean-phobic sherif Chief Brody (Roy Scheider) team up with an oceanographer Matt Hopper (Richard Dreyfuss) and professional shark hunter, Captain Quint (Robert Shaw) to set sail on a rickety old boat called the Orca and hunt down that smiling "son-of-a-bitch" and kill it. What follows is a two-hour masterclass in suspense, drama and tension. It's a film that manages to not only give our characters story arcs, but in the case of Brody, create a very moving and utterly believable portrait of a family man desperately trying to do his best in the face of powerful opposition. In between the shark attacks the film still has time to offer moments of humour and introspection and the scene at the dinner table between Brody and his son is very moving. There is one scene in particular, that even today, still has me holding my breathe in anticipation and tense, and it's when the two fishermen thrown an uncooked Sunday joint off the the pier in an attempt to catch the shark.

I have lost count of the number of times I've watched this, I first saw it in the ABC Cinema in Ealing with my family at the age of 12 and was traumatised, particulary by the death of Robert Shaw's 'Quint', and genuinely believed that he had actually been killed by that shark. It always been a part of my top ten films of all times and despite knowing each and every line of dialogue and what's about to happen next, I'm not ashamed to admit that both my daughter and I jumped in our seats when Ben Gardener's head bobs into view. I seriously cannot think of a single thing that I don't like about this film and consider that if this was ever remade, it would be an hour longer and we'd get not only the back story of Brody, Quint and Hopper, but also the shark who we'd discover is just trying to protect its family.

The film has a visual quality which is not only unmatched, but helps to make this film utterly timeless, it might be set in the 1970s but manages to look as fresh as a daisy today. Spielberg's choice of avoiding big name actors in casting of the lead roles and of using actual inhabitants of Marta's Vineyard to fill the cast helped to create a convincing air of believability, add to that John William's deeply iconic soundtrack and you simply what is one of the greatest films ever made. 

This weekend in America Jaws took over $8 million and claimed the number #2 slot at the boxoffice beating out three new releases. Not bad for a film celebrating it's 50th anniversary. 

Let's raise our glasses and toast a timeless classic that has lost none of its bite. 10/10

#53: X-MEN: FIRST CLASS

 

STARRING: James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Rose Byrne, Jennifer Lawrence, January Jones, Oliver Platt and Kevin Bacon. Screenplay by Ashley Edward Miller, Zack Stentz, Jane Goldman and Matthew Vaughn. Directed by Matthew Vaughn. Budget $160 million, boxoffice gross: $353 million. Running time 132 minutes. Originally released in 2011.

Thank god Hollywood aren't producing as many films as they used to so that cinemas have to reissue old films, this month Cineworld are doing both the X-Men and the Batman trilogy as part of the Nolan retrospective they're running. 

After the awfulness of 2006's X-Men: Last Stand and X-Men Origins: Wolverine in 2009 the future wasn't looking rosy for the X-Men, that was until Matthew Vaughn stepped in to replace Bryan Singer, rewrote the script with Jane Goldman and showed the world the X-Men had more to offer.

Set in the swinging 60s and showing the origin of the first X-Men as well as Magneto (Michael Fassbender) and Professor X (James McAvoy) and Mystique (Jennifer Lawrence) this is an absolute delight, Kevin Bacon as Sebastian Shaw is a fantastic villain. Using the Cuban missile crisis as its backdrop this as a deeply impressively mounted action romp, with a likeable cast of loveable characters and a deeply satisfying climax. Good effects, and with a surprising amount of raunch which was much appreciated.

Gloriously good fun!

8/10



 

#52: WEAPONS

STARRING: Josh brolin, Julia Garner, Alden Ehrenreich, Austin Abrams, Cary Christopher, Benedict Wong and Amy Madigan. Written, produced and directed by Zach Cregger. Budget $38 million. Running time 128 minutes.

When a classroom's worth of children, save one, Alex Lilly (Cary Christopher) all get out of bed at 2.17am in the morning and run off into the night never to be seen again, suspicion falls on their teacher Justine Gandy (Julia Garner) and the parents of the missing kids all turn on her. 

And that's all I'm going to tell you about the plot. The film unfurls its story through six different character's perspective, the surviving child Alex, his teacher Justine, her ex boyfriend Alden (Paul Morgan), her boss headmaster Marcus Miller (Benedict Wong), a young drug addict called James (Austin Abrams), and the father of one of the missing children Archer Graff (Josh Brolin).

Telling the story from six different character's perspective is an excellent conceit and works brilliantly, building the plot with each tale. You'll try to second guess the story, but you'll do it without success, the film leads you along but each time rips the rug from under you, creating a deeply unsettling and scary experience. The film is filled with jump scares and some genuinely frightening imagery, it's also got some extremely gory sequences that had the audience I saw this with shrieking in response. The direction from Cregger is very assured and he is shaping up to be a deeply original horror director. The music also works perfectly creating an atmosphere of clawing naked dread.  

However, a film like this only works if it nails its landing and it's a delight to report that this does it with absolute precision and you will not be disappointed. 

It think this was one of the most original and chilling horror films I've seen in a very long time and I bloody loved it! And for once, I didn't groan or laugh at some ludicrous plot hole.

Drop whatever you're doing and go and see this now, before someone spoils it for you.

9/10

 

#51: X-MEN

 

STARRING: Patrick Stewart, Hugh Jackman, Ian McKellen, Halle Berry, Famke Janssen, James Marsden, Bruce Davidon, Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, Ray Park and Anna Paquin. Screenplay by David Hayter from a story by Tom DeSanto and Bryan Singer, based on x-Men by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby. Directed by Bryan Singer. Budget $75 million. Box office $296.3 million. Running time 104 minutes. Origianlly released in 2000.

Was amazed to realise that this is 25 years old, how is that possible I mused until I realised that my daughter was born the previous year and she's 26. This glorious movie predated the MCU first effort, Iron Man by 8 years, which amazed me even more. 

What an absolute treat it was to see this up on the big screen, I don't think I've seen it that way since it was first released. It has a great cast, a confident script and a great look. The way the source material is handled is respectful, as is the way the characters are introduced, no more so than the introduction of Wolverine (Hugh Jackman), who simply owns the screen everytime he's on it. The actors all bring a splendid sense of believability to their characters and the effects, which for the most part seem very practical enhance the experience even more. It honours the comics it's based on, and it looks as if every penny of its budget is on display.

It's not perfect, the final third act showdown between the X-Men and the Brotherhood of Mutants looks and feels cheap, but the build up is glorious. This is a film with a story to tell, and not a message to sell and I doubt we'd have seen the MCU if this hadn't been successful. Obviously it created an initial triology, of which the least said about the third, Last Stand the better! It's a terrible film, but not as terrible as the franchise of mutant themed movies it spawned. 

With a great beginning, a solid middle and a disappointing ending this was a excellent and exciting evening and well worth rewatching. 

8/10

#50: THE NAKED GUN

STARRING: Liam Neeson, Pamela Anderson, Paul Walter Hauser, Kevin Durand & Danny Huston. Written by Dan Gregor, Doug Mand and Akiva Schaffer. Directed by Akiva Schaffer. Produced by Seth MacFarlane and Erica Huggins. Budget $42 million. Running time 85 minutes. 

The film opens with a bank robbery in progress where an item called 'P.L.O.T. DEVICE' is stolen from a vault box by Kevin Durand's Sig Gustafson, henchman to Richard Cane (Danny Huston). Soon after a wrecked car turns up with a dead body and Lt Frank Drebin Jnr (Liam Neeson) is assigned both cases. When Beth Davenport (Pamela Anderson), the sister of the dead body in the car turns up widowed Drebin is drawn into a passionate romance that intertwines with a sinister conspiracy involving Richard Cane which might just end up causing the end of the world.

The stakes, both literally and literally, have never been higher for a Naked Gun movie, and this new one, a 'legacy sequel' to 1994's Naked Gun 33 1/3 starring the last, great Leslie Neilson as Lt. Frank Drebin is a daring effort. Will this film resonate with the youth of today who, it seems, find comedies where farting is funny problematic and where jokes about sex with dogs are considered tasteless?

Packed to the gill with jokes both verbal and visual, the film never lets up and the sense of utter stupidity and silliness is so thick you could cut it with a knife. No stupid pun or smutty joke is left unturned or said and the success rate, oddly enough is rather high. I laughed out loud many times and Liam shows off some powerful comedy chops. Similarly, proving she's also a game gal is Pamela Anderson who has some great comedic timing, and in one scene alone, the superb jazz club she dazzles singing a staggering ridiculous song. And Danny Huston is an utter delight, his villainous Cane is brilliant, his climactic fight with Drebin is worth the admission price alone. There's also an excellent back and forth about the Black Eyed Peas which had me almost weeping with laughter. 

This film is the very definition of 'it isn't big and it isn't clever', and it's a delight because of it. There's an over abundance of innuendo gags, which delighted me immensely, and it's been so long since any so called comedy produced by Hollywood has been this cravenly and openly childish and I laughed myself horse. There are two standout jokes which I'm still laughing about the first when Drebin says to Beth as she gazes out of the window over hollywood, "UCLA?" to which she replies, "Yes, Frank everyday, I live there." and the second was how he described her bottom in a voice over. For once this film wasn't ruined by the trailer. Everybody seemed wildly game. 

All that said, it's not perfect, even with a running time of just 85 minutes the second half dragged and there's a sequence with an owl that goes on way too long. And oddly enough some of it seems too police procedural at times. This is also one of those films that defies critical appreciation. So I reviewed it from the point of vierw that it made me laugh. A lot. But mostly because it's just so goddam silly and deeply childish. 

In fact I haven't laughed this much since Jackass IV. 

7/10

#48&49: FANTASTIC FOUR: FIRST STEPS.

 

STARRING: Pedro Pascal, Vanessa Kirby, Ebon Moss-Bachrach, Joseph Quinn, Julia Garner, Sarah Niles, Mark Gatiss, Natasha Lyonne, Paul Walter Hauser and Ralph Ineson. Screenplay and story by: Josh Friedman, Eric Pearson, Jef Kaplan and Ian Springer and Kat Wood. Produced by Kevin Feige. Directed by Matt Shakman. Budget $200 million dollars. Running time 114 minutes. 

Featuring one of the single worst movie posters of all times, this is the fourth Fantastic Four film in 31 years, the first being Roger Corman's 1994 film and it's also 37th film in the MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe). And easily the best Marvel film since Avengers Infinity War and Endgame. It comes at a time when we, the movie going public, seem to have lost our passion for all things superhero related. 

With Marvel desperate to re-start our love of superheroes, the whole fate of the MCU rests in hands of the FF. The story set on an alternative Earth, in the early 1960s introduces the FF four years after their initial appearance and the world has been greatly enhanced and improved place since then, with flying cars, giant TV screens, robots, monorails and a dirty great big rocket launching pad in the middle of the Hudson River. We meet Reed Richards (Pascal), Sue Storm (Vanessa Kirby), The Thing (Ebon Moss-Bachrach) and Johnny Storm (Joseph Quinn) sitting down to enjoy their weekly Sunday dinner ritual when an intergalactic herald by the name of The Silver Surver (Julia Garner) turns up tells the world that its to be consumed by a being called Galactus (Ralph Ineson) and leaves. The FF fly off to confront Galactus and get their collective bottoms powned by a massive intergalactic being in a onesie who's suffering the worst case of the munchies in history. When he detects Sue Storm is pregnant he demands the child in return for sparing the Earth from his hunger. Refusing to acquiesce Reed and Co flee back to Earth to prepare for the coming apocalypse.

This was just glorious! the tone, style, casting and look of the film is near perfect. The chemistry between the First Family binds the film and their natural ease is the glue that does the binding. With a script that mixes light touches of humour with drama and action and peril is very well balanced. Doing away with an origin story for the FF, we're given enough info to accept their existence and by focusing only on them and not filling the screen with other superheroes, something that somewhat muddied the waters with Superman, the film amply holds our attention. Oddly enough the one thing that usually narks me about superhero films is the threat which always seems to be of a global mass extinction event, however here that threat feels all too personal and localised, even if it is the entire city of NY. The film is packed with incident, but never to the detriment of the narrative, and as a result has a wonderful energised quality about it. 

The special effects are also mostly spot on, bar a few jarring transitions from live action to CGI. The Thing in particular is spot on, and Reed Richards stretch abilities never look embarrassing or amateurish. Likewise, the look of the 60s throughout the film feels organic and natural and fits in perfectly with the feel of the FF. And this film does manage to capture the glorious energy of those original comics created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, who get name checked up at the beginning and even feature a blink and you'll miss it cameo. Indeed, the film is packed with nods to the comic past of the FF and will reward long term comic fans with eagle eyes. 

I've been waiting for this for a long time and keeping my fingers crossed that it delivered and boy does it do that! In spades! This is Marvel back on top and firing on all cylinders, ditching he need of a message or ramping up the humour, Fantastic Four: First Family successfully launches Marvel's first every superhero group triumphantly into the 21st Century and beyond! I've already seen this twice and might even try for a third time. I bloody loved it!

An absolute delight from beginning to end, with no soggy bottom, drawn out climax, or sassy teenage girl saving the day. 

With this and the also excellent Superman, I'd say that far from Superhero fatigue, the future looking rosy for the supes! 

It features two post credit stings, the first is killer, the second just filler.

9/10 

#44, #45, #46: THE LORD OF THE RINGS: FELLOWSHIP, THE TWO TOWERS, RETURN OF THE KING - EXTENDED VERSIONS

                   

STARRING: Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Viggo Mortensen, Sean Astin, Liv Tyler, Bernard Hill, Cate Blanchett, John Rhys-Davies, Andy Serkis, Billy Boyd, Dominic Monaghan, Orlando Bloom, Christopher Lee, Hugo Weaving and Sean Bean. Written by Fran Walsh, Philippa Boyens, Peter Jackson and Stephen Sinclair. Directed by Peter Jackson. Music by Howard Shore. Combined budget for all three films: $281 million. Box office taking so far: $2.964 BILLION dollars. Running time for all three extended films 683 minutes or 11 hours and 38 minutes. Originally released 2001-2003.

The story sees eight friends going off into the wilderness on a men-only, boozy Stag-do, only for the groom-to-be and his best man go missing with the wedding ring, leading to much hilarity when his pals set off to find them before the big day.

Watched over three nights at Cineworld and taking up a staggering 11 hours and 38 minutes, this was a true cinematic experience that exceeded expectations. This was the first time I've ever seen the extended editions on the big screen and boy was it worth it. There's something about watching movies on the big screen and at the cinema which truly ignites the imagination, you get immersed in a way you can't at home, you spot small details, and you marvel at the sheer scale and size of the glorious edifice, and best of all you end up getting swept up in the adventure. 

The script by Walsh, Boyens, Jackson and Sinclair is superb, the dialogue and language is so layered and nuanced, indeed everything about this epic undertaking is peerless, the direction, the art direction, the costumes, the production design, the music, the editing, the performances, the everything, I simply can't fault it. Sure the running time is bum numbing, but the spectacle is worth it. 

All three films, an easy 10/10

 

  

 

#43 & 47: SUPERMAN

 

STARRING: David Corenswet, Rachel Brosnahan, Nicholas Hoult, Edi Gathegi, Anthony Carrigan, Nathan Fillion and Isabela Merced. Written and directed by James Gunn. Budget $225 million. Running time 125 minutes. Two post credit stings.

And so came Superman, with a huge weight of expectation on its shoulders and on the shoulders of its writer and director, James Gunn who took control from Zack Synder, cleaning house in the process and recasting the whole thing with newbie David Corenswet taking over from man of ham Henry Carvill in the titular role.

The film skips the need for yet another origin story and gets straight to it, with Superman (David Corenswet) literally crashing landing in the Artic having suffered his first defeat at the hands of a mech-suit powered individual called Ultraman. It won't be Supes only defeat as he seems to spend most of this film having the living shit kicked, or punched out of him. Over and over again, we witness Superman failing, forced to run away and recharge himself by the sun before racing back to try and save the day. Meanwhile Lex Luthor (Nicholas Hoult) orchestrates his nefarious masterplan to rid the world of his arch-enemy and secure himself some prime real-estate in the process. Aiding Supes are The Justice Gang, a ragtag bunch of meta-humans including Green Lantern, Mr. Terrific, Hawkgirl and Metamorpho, and his adopted dog, Krypto. And of course Lois Lane (Rachel Brosnahan) who likewise gives more than adequate performance. 

What follows is a good natured, very kind-hearted film, filled with lots of action, some great special effects and funny dialogue. Sadly, while it never threatens to scale the giddy heights of the 1978 classic it does entertain. David Corenswet is a worthy successor to the mantle and he brings a virtuous spirit to role. The film is fun and entertaining but never really soars, Superman seems lost among so many other meta-humans and his constant ass-whoppings become frustrating. Nicholas Hoult's Luthor is this film's MVP and he seems to thrive in the malice he brings to the role. There are a few rather big plot holes along the way and lots of Easter Eggs to get the fans excited, including some famous DC characters. And that's about it. 

For those of your interested there are two post credit stings. 

I liked this, but didn't love it. It flew but didn't soar and Superman wasn't super enough but it was still worth the wait.

8/10 

 

#42: M3GAN 2.0

 

STARRING: Allison Williams, Violet McGraw, Ivanna Sakhno and Jemaine Clement. Written by Gerard Johnstone and Akela Cooper. Directed by Gerard Johnstone. Budget $25 million. Running time 120 minutes.

The sequel to the 2022 grossed £181 million worldwide and scored a very satisfying 93% on Rotten Tomato. It was a tight, little horror thriller with a great premise and a genuinely creepy protagonist that didn't outstay its welcome. So it was a no brainer that we'd be getting a sequel, with a great little template to follow what could possibly go wrong?

Cut to three years later and M3GAN 2.0 has arrived and we found out exactly what could go wrong. 

This feels far more like M3GAN 3 than 2. Traditionally with a direct sequel we get more of the same just amped up to the Nth degree. It's usually only in the 3rd installment that the increasingly desperate film makers try to mix things up and oomph the anti to entice the audience back. And that's what this does in absolute spades but sadly it doesn't pay off. That said, this isn't a trainwreck by any measure, it still rather entertaining, it's just overloaded with far too much stuff, and M3GAN has gone from creepy girl-sized killer robot to a young woman with protocols to prevent her harming humans. And she's up against another killer AI female robot killer. This is much more science fiction than the original and the introduction of a super AI intelligence trying to escape into the real world feels awfully similar to a certain Mission Impossible film from a month or so back. 

Actually that said, you kinda of wish that there'd been a similar sort of showdown in MISS IMP: DR between Ethan and the Entity as we see here between M3gan and the AI, a physical kinda of showdown rather than the dimming of the lights we were given. 

This time round there's more humour, more gurning and more camp, but far less in the way of horror or tension. 

Entertaining while it's on, but utterly forgettable once it's over.

6/10

#40: JURASSIC WORLD: REBIRTH

STARRING: Scarlett Johansson, Mahershala Ali, Jonathan Bailey, Rupert Friend, Manuel Garcia-Rulfo, Ed Skrein, Written by David Koepp. Directed by Gareth Edwards. Budget $180 million dollars. Running time 133 minutes. 

First off the good news! Back in 2022 the last film in this series, the truly awful Jurassic World: Dildo-Minion landed the top spot on my list of the worst films of the year. I mean it was appalling. This one won't end up on this year's list. There endth the good news.

This is the seventh film in the never-ending pantheon of films based on or inspired by the originator Jurassic Part back in 1933. It's been three years since the last World effort and this one is a bit different because it's written by David Koepp who wrote the original first two films and who isn't half bad as a writer, and directed by Gareth Edwards who did the stonkingly good Godzilla (2014), Star Wars: Rogue One (2016) and the visually strinking Creator (2023). It also ditches the idiotic story line about the clone child, the dubious acting talents of Chris Twatt, and those sodding annoying raptors.

To understand the dynamics of this film, I've decided to replace the names of the characters with their job descriptions. So, for example Scarlett Johansson becomes Covert Operations Expert, Jonathan Bailey becomes Paleontologist, Rupert Friend is Corporate Big Shot, Mahershala Ali is Team Leader. Then there's  Ship-wrecked Dad, Ship-wrecked Dad's Youngest Daughter, Ship-wrecked Dad's Eldest Daughter, Ship-wrecked Dad's Eldest Daughter's Boyfriend, as well as, Cannon Fodder One, Cannon Fodder Two and Cannon Fodder Three. To make things simple I've initialised each job description to help with reading the synopsis. CCE, P, CBS, TL, SWF, SWFYD, SWFED, SWFEDB, CF#1, CF#2. and of course, CG#3 See, much easier. 

And now to the film itself.

The plot, since there is no story, sees the following happen. Back in the recent past (five years) a stupid scientist in a full-body hazmat suit but with an open visor helmet is eating a Snickers bar in a top secret research laboratory on yet another one of those sodding islands. Chocolate plays an important part in this film and without the Snickers bar in this one, there simply wouldn't be a film. Seriously.

Anyway, before you know it there's another dinosaur outbreak. I kid not. The events of this entire film happen because an idiot eats a Snickers bar. Seriously.

However in the present, Palaeontologist (P) is sad because no one loves dinosaurs anymore and the Natural History Museum is being closed down (assumably because everyone watched the last three movies). Luckily, Corporate Big Shot (CBS) convinces Covert Operations Expert (COE) to take him and P to the dinosaur island for lots and lots of money. So, SOE, CBS and P meet up with Team Leader (TM) on his super-fast, state of the art, ship and set off to hunt down three dinosaurs and take samples of their blood to make a vaccine to save people. Meanwhile in another part of the ocean on a wholly inadequate yacht a non-nuclear family comprising soon-to-be Shipwreck Dad, his young daughter, his elder daughter, and his eldest daughter's dead-beat boyfriend are shipwrecked by one of the dinosaurs that other guys are hunting and end up being rescued and then going along for the ride. However it isn't long before everybody is shipwrecked again, and we lose CF#1 and CF#2 in quick fashion. Obviously, because CBS is working for a big pharmaceutical company, he's just another Carter J. Burke, so naturally he's up to no good. The family of ship wrecked job descriptions are separated from the other bunch, but luckily all on the same island and so both sets of job descriptions set off to rendezvous at an abandoned village on the other side of the island, where COE has conveniently arranged for a helicopter to pick them up, but only if they can get there in time, the helicopter will only wait two-minutes before pissing off. Christ, even Uber drivers wait longer than that. 

Anyway, lots of stuff happens, there's action, drama, excitement and stupidity beyond the dreams of adverse. There are moments between the action when some of the job descriptions give you back story to make you feel for them, but you don't. Other jobs do things that hasten their own demise because that's their role, and yet another job surprises everybody by not being the way you were expecting from his job description.

AND YET. It was rather fun. If you can ignore the following. The awful plotting, the terrible product placements, seriously Doritos, Sneakers, M&Ms, and a whole litany of sweets and snacks. There's an entire functioning petrol station at the abandoned village on the dinosaur island that is still fully functioning and it's packed full of sugary delight even after 5 years of inactivity.. There's even a smaller dinosaur that SWDYD gets addicted to candy. 

The dinosaurs look great. Well, three of them do, the T-Rex, in the best scene in the film, seriously good, very edge-of-your-seat good, then there's the TerryandJunesarus and its cliff lair, which is pretty good too and then of course there's the bit where we get to see Jaws but with dinosaurs, and that's really good! In fact, come to think of it, all the bits with the dinosaurs were good. It's just all the bits with the thick as shit humans doing stupid things that begins to grate. You're on the side of the dinosaurs, wishing them on, "Please", you silently plead, cos you're in a cinema and it's not polite to talk, "kill them all, kill that little fucker who keeps feeding that poor dinosaur all that candy. Then kill that wanker with the stupid beard cos he's a shit boyfriend. And please, please kill the bloke with the briefcase cos he's seriously stoopid." And then the whole film suffers an Alien Romulus incident and all that good will is literally pissed up the sodding wall when a goddam gigantic made-up dinosaur hybrid Alien monster/creature roars into view for the final climatic showdown.

And it's thankfully over.

Like I said, there were great bits, and lots of fun to be had, but by the same token there was a lot of stupidity and shit too. Still I didn't loathe with the same bile and hate as the last two of these shit shows, so you know. Winner, winner, almost chicken dinner.

7/10 

#41: F1: The Movie

STARRING: BRAD PITT, Damson Idris, Kerry Condon, Tobias Menzies and Javier Bardem. Written by Ehren Kruger. Directed by Joseph Kosinski. Budget $300 million. Running time 156 minutes.

Grand Prix, Le Mans, Days of Thunder and The Love Bug, just some of the legendary films that have been made about motor racing. To that pantheon comes this, the latest, and most expensive, FI: The Movie. Starring not one, but two of the most charismatic hunks of beef on the silver screen, Brad Pitt and Javier Bardem who bring so much male sex appeal to this that it renders the need for a critical analysis of this picture practically pointless. 

The utterly improbable plot sees 61 year old 'nomadic racer-for-hire and former Formula One Driver'* Sonny Hayes (Brad Pitt) recruited by his old best mate, Ruben Cervantes (Javier Bardem) the team owner of APXGP to help him win just one race in the last nine races of the F1 season, to save APEX from being sold off. 

And that's it. Obviously there's a young hot-headed rookie racer, Joshua Pearce (Damson Idris) who's also racing for Apex so the two drivers can crash heads (and cars) and the old timer can teach the youngling in a sort of Karate Kid kinda way how to race real good. Then there's the moustache-twiddling baddie, fellow APX corporate board member Peter Banning (Tobias Menzies) who wants the team to fail so he can sell them off and make money. The love interest comes in the guise of technical director and car designer Kate McKenna (Kerry Condon) whose revolutionary new (SPOILER ALERT) spoiler winds the day (Geddit?).

Naturally, all the secondary characters all initially dislike Sonny, cos he's a rebel but come to respect him in the end. And talking of ends, this one literally comes down to the final race of the season and the literal final PITT stop!

Thank holy fuck for the charisma of both Bardem and Pitt is all I can say. Both men ooze such rugged male gorgeousness and charm that they double-handedly save this from being a total car crash of a movie. Brad gives a masterclass in acting and I found myself watching his face in extreme close up even in a two shot, just watching the man at work. By god he's good, he delivers lines with relaxed calm and even makes funny lines plausible. He dominates the screen and owns it to the utter detriment of everyone else, except Bardem. BTW, in case you weren't aware, Pitt is one of my passes. 

ANYWAY, what of the film I hear you groan. Well, the action is good, the races are teeth-clenching, it's directed by the bloke what did 2022's Top Gun: Maverick, although this one is far less intense than that. The trouble with F1 races is that the merest touch between cars and the race is over, and so too in the film, just when you're engaged and engrossed in a race two cars touch and it's over and it's back to the pit lane and off-track shenanigans, bickering, romance and bro-mance. This is a film with no skin in the game, the ending is never in doubt. It is, come to think of it, the equivalent of the great 1954 bio pic The Glenn Miller Story, but without the trumpets and clarinets, it presents only the good stuff and no whiff of bad behaviour or drama, apart from some youthful cockiness, and mild villiany. It's a film that is intense but never truly exciting, action-packed but also very much by the gears. 

And once it's over, you'll park it away and forget where you left it in the multi-story carpark of your memory.

7/10

*Thank you Wikipedia.

39: 28 YEARS LATER

STARRING: Jodie Comer, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Jack O'Connell, Alfie Williams and Ralph Fiennes. Written by Alex Garland. Directed by Danny Boyle. Music by Young Fathers. Budget $60 million. Running time 115 minutes.

It's been 28 years since the initial Rage Virus outbreak ravaged the land and plunged the world into an apocalypse of running zombies. The entire UK is now a quarantined zone, heavily patrolled and guarded by the naval fleets of NATO, no one can ever leave. On a small island connected to the mainland by a causeway that is only accessible at low tide lives a community of survivors who have seemingly reverted to the 1950s. They guard their walled community religiously and survive frugally sending out official scavengers to the mainland in search of resources when theirs run low. Jamie (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) is the lead scavenger and he takes his 12 year-old son, Spike (Alfie) on his first trip to the mainland leaving behind his seriously ill mother, Isla (Jodie Comer) behind. While on the mainland they encounter terrible threats and sheer menace when they're targeted by an Alpha - a super-charged Rage infected leader of a group of zombies and are chased back to the island.

It's only then does Spike discover that back on the mainland there was an actual doctor who he believes could cure his rapidly ailing mother. So, he does the only thing a character in a film like this can do. He breaks out of the island compound and drags his mother back to the mainland on a quest to find the Dr. Kelson (Ralph Fiennes) who's been living on the mainland since the outbreak. The good doctor has spent his time wisely building a huge monument to the dead in the guise of bone forest and keeping a furnace burning 24/7 with the bodies of the dead he harvests. Spike and Isla's journey brings them in contact with another Alpha, Samson (Chi Lewis-Parry) and Erik Sundqvist (Edvin Ryding) the sole survivor of a Swedish NATO mission to the mainland. Together the three of them begin a deadly voyage to the death forest of Dr. Kelson. But things take a dramatic and surprising turn when the three travellers become four with the introduction a new-born baby.

I'm sure that'll end happily. 

Added to that is a mysterious message written on walls and carved into the bellies of the dead that reads: "JIMMY IS COMING".  Although who or what Jimmy isn't revealed until the staggering final scene...

By god this is a powerful film, truly tense and desperate, it doesn't let up for one minute and the often visceral gore and brutal violence splatter almost every scene with no mercy.  Danny Boyle directs with absolute power and the script by Alex Garland is superb. 

I had a major problem with the plot once little plucky Alfie Williams as Spike kidnaps his mom and takes her back to the mainland in search of the doctor, it seemed like one of those deeply annoying plot contrivances that only ever happens in the movies and yet as the plot progressed it stopped being a problem and became the film's emotional core, the relationship between Spike and Isla was beautifully handled and Comer proves yet again what an exclamatory actress she is. Added to that, the totally genre defying introduction of Dr. Ian Kelson, who brings a much needed and very poignant counterbalance to the whole film, offering a sense of peace and tranquility to the terrible gore and threat of death.

The whole film is intercut with scenes from Sir Lawrence Olivier Richard III and oft-repeated voiceovers of the 1915 recording of Rudyard Kipling's poem Boots, coupled with glimpses of into the every day lives of the Rage infected in the wild.

By no means is this an easy film, it's filled with nihilism, it's fantastically bleak and deeply savage, and yet it's also deeply engaging and at times moving. And to cap it all there's that ending where the riddle of the Jimmies is answered and by god you'll either, like me, laugh yourself hoarse at its sheer audaciousness, or gasp in outrage and disgust at its bravado. 

I had no idea going into this film that there was a sequel coming in January and I can't wait. 

Quite simply one of the most unique and powerful films of the year. 

10/10

#38: FROM THE WORLD OF JOHN WICK: BALLERINA

STARRING: Ana de Armas, Anjelica Huston, Gabriel Byrne, Lance Reddick, Ian McShane and Keanu Reeves. Written by Shay Hatten, directed by Len Wiseman. Budget $90 million. Running time 125 minutes.

The fifth film in the John Wick universe. Apparently the events of this film take place between the 3rd and 4th Wick movies. As if that matters.

This time round we have Eve Macarro as our John Wick, so to speak. Played by Ana de Armas, who gloriously kicked butt in No Time to Die, Eve is an orphaned assassin and ballerina trained by the Ruska Roma dance school following the murder of her parents at the hands of a mysterious cult of killers called the Cult, lead by The Chancellor (Gabriel Byrne). Under the tutelage of The Director (Anjelica Huston), Eve is trained to be a total bad ass and naturally after one successful mission heads off on the revenge trail to avenge her dead parents. Aided by her benefactor, Winston (Ian McShane) Eve is soon finds herself in the Cult's uber-secret base of Hallstatt in Austria, where everyone is an assassin., even the coffee shop staff and the staff in Lidl. There in Hallstatt she fights her way through absolutely everyone towards her final confrontation with the Chancellor. Because the Cult and the Ruska Roma have an unspoken rule of leaving each other alone, The Director sends John Wick to kill Eve before she can have her revenge. 

Thanks to a never-ending series of chance encounters, Eve has absolutely no difficulty in tracking down the Cult's base of operations, each person she meets on her personal revenge voyage is able give her just enough information to get her merrily to Hallstatt. Even good ole John Wick seems to disregard his orders and rather than kill Eve allows her to beat the living shit out of while all the time telling her she has options. 

So, I loved the first John Wick film, it truly revolutionised the action film genre and re-invented and rejuvenated Keanu Reeve's career. It was a tight, insanely punchy, fantastically violent and satisfyingly brief movie and I fricking loved it! Watching John Wick lay waste to an army of henchmen in a series of superbly choreographed fight scenes and gun battles was a thrilling and most importantly never repetitive or boring. Sadly, the same can't be said of The Ballerina, early on in her training sequence tiny, nah impish Eve is told to use her disadvantages to her advantage and cheat to make a virtue of her size. After that one training mission she never again uses that wisdom. However, she doesn't really need to as everyone she fights conveniently allows her ample time to get her shots or fists in first and really don't seem that bothered by dying. Lucky for her.

What follows is a good looking, very well shot and edited action film, but sadly with a plot that follows the same plodding formula - pout, chat, fight, kill. Pout, chat, fight, kill - until her final showdown with Wick and then her final one with the Chancellor and then it's over. It's sadly very repetitive and frankly a little dull, her victory is never in doubt, her minimal wounds are laughable considering she's going up against a literal army's worth of highly trained killers, and the only damage she seems to suffer is a slight cut above her eyebrow. No concussions, no ruptured spleens, no shattered bones and not one single bullet wound or gaze, Christ even Wick suffered actual injuries, but not so our Eve. And that, dear reader is what robs this from being glorious, it has no skin in the game, and nothing to prove. It's the latest produce from a machine that's set to follow a winning formula, although missing one key ingredient, Keanu Reeve in the lead role. 

Acting wise, Ana works hard to be convincing, but at times she comes across as stroppy and almost petulant, she really throws herself into the action but it's not entirely convincing although the highlight is a superb flame-thrower fight. And it was a delight to see Gabriel Bryne back in a movie, I can't remember the last time I saw him, he has real menace, although I think he's horribly shortchanged in this one. Likewise Angelica Huston is splendid in her returning role as the Director of the Roma. And bringing up the rear, so to speak, Ian McShane who still seems to be revelling in his role as the manager of the Continental hotel.  

Hollywood has wholeheartedly embraced the idea of a female super agent on a revenge mission from La Femme Nikita to Long Kiss Goodnight, Atomic Blonde, Red Sparrow, Anna, Salt, Black Widow, Kill Bill, Hanna, Colombiana, Haywire, and Peppermint to name but 12, and at least two of those are also trained ballerinas, so this isn't exactly a new genre, but I just wish it had been a lot more inventive, if the makers of John Wick had wanted this to spawn a new franchise I think they might have miss-fired (geddit?). Looking at that list of films I have to say that apart from Anna, Red Sparrow (both ballerinas) and Colombiana that that list of films would make for a brilliant binge watch, particularly Haywire, which is frankly an absolute powerhouse of a movie. 

But this? Well, it's okay, but nothing original and nothing to worry John Wick about.

7/10

#37: THE PHOENICIAN SCHEME

 

STARRING: Benicio Del Toro, Mia Threapleton, Michael Cera, Riz Ahmed, Tom Hanks, Bryan Cranston, Mathieu Amalric, Richard Ayoade, Jeffrey Wright, Scarlett Johansson, Benedict Cumberbatch, Rupert Friend, Bill Murray and Hope Davis. Story by Wes Anderson and Roman Coppola, screenplay by Wes Anderson. Directed by Wes Anderson. Running time 109 minutes.

When uber-rich industrialist Zsa-Zsa Korda (Benicio Del Toro), survives his yet another assassination attempt on his life that sees him walk away from his 7th near-fatal plane crash he embarks on his greatest scheme, the Phoenician Scheme and attempts to reunite with his estranged daughter and nun in training, Sister Liesl (Mia Threapleton) and his nine sons. Meanwhile his many enemies, fellow tycoons set out to destroy him, his legacy and his new scheme once and for all, leading Korda and his daughter to embark on a quest to save his dream.

Oh my god, what a film what a film! I realise that this will polarise many people but for me, this is the film of the year! Hands down!

A glorious film, as always art directed and directed to near perfection by Wes Anderson, whose unique visual vision makes his films instantly recognisable. From his meticulously designed sets to his idiosyncratic camera moves his films have an identity that is indelible.

The performances by the superb ensemble cast are all expertly mannered and 'acterly' as if appearing in an am-dram performance and it matters not one jote. Del Toro is superb, as is Mia Threapleton, but the MVP is Michael Cera who brings a wonderful energy to his role as the socially awkward home tutor Bjørn Lund who gets dragged into the globe trotting adventure.

Every aspect of this film was a pure delight, from the soundtrack, the style and direction, it's at turns funny, and dramatic and frantic. Whether you like this film or not will rely entirely on what you think of Wes Anderson's other films, and if you're a fan of his wonderful oeuvre then get ready for 109 minutes of pure bliss. 

I cannot wait to see this one again and again!

10/10   

#36: MISS IMP: FIN REC

 

STARRING: Tom Cruise, Hayley Atwell, Ving Rhames, Simon Pegg, Henry Czerny, Angela Bassett. Written by Christopher McQuarrie and Erik Jendresen. Directed by Christopher McQuarrie. Produced by Christopher McQuarrie and Tom Cruise, stunt flying in helicopter Tom Cruise, stunt flying in airplane Tom Cruise, underwater stunt man Tom Cruise. Budget $300-400 million. Running time 170 minutes.

I'vegottobequickcostheresalottocraminandIdonthavetimeforpunctuation.

No, that's not going to work. Look, this is the eighth and, we're told final MISS IM movie and there's a lot to cover but only three hours worth of film time to tell it in.

It starts the minute the screen lights up and then just goes, like a jet-car at 300mph, there's absolutely no time for anything but plot, in this film even when Cruise is not running from A-B, he's running on the spot, seriously. There was a scene that was cut out where Cruise is running on the spot while trying to do a poo, and it wasn't nice. So, Cruise is on cruise-control for the whole film, every problem presented is dealt with bang, bang as it races to the ending. Everyone has their eye on the clock and no time is spent, or wasted, on meaningful silences, pregnant pauses or moments of somber introspection. NO SIR! There's a goddam world to save from a totally evil AI, and quite so in this film because world is literally 3 days away from total global armageddon and nuclear annihilation. In fact, it's hardly surprising Cruise and everyone is running so goddam fast, like me they're just trying to arm-aggedon out of here!

SO. The last time we hung out with Ethan and the gang in MIS IM: De Rec P1, they were up against the Entity - a super intelligent, sentient, AI that had escaped into the real world and gone rogue and a whole bunch of people wanted the tech. Aided by a shadowy character called Gabriel (Henry Czerny), who killed Hunt's first girlfriend in the past. He was a driven, evangelical and deeply fanatical henchman who believed the Entity was going to save the world. Ethan spent the whole film trying to find and hold on to two currant bun keys that when wedged together would open the vault thingie that housed the Entity, which was hidden in the bowels of a sunken Russian submarine, although no one knew where. The film was gripping, exciting and laid the ground work for this, MIS IM: The Fin Rec.

So, in this one, armed with the current buns Ethan heads off to find the sub, evade every single law enforcement officer in the world and try and stop both the Entity and Gabriel before either one of them can do something bad. There's atomic bombs to defuse, hijackings, car crashes, chases, gun battles, knife fights, fisticuffs, and thrilling death-defying stunts that leave you on the edge of your seat. 

So why didn't I love it more? I have to say this isn't a bad film, I didn't fall asleep once, I was gripped and the three hours flew by, but by the same measure I left a little underwhelmed, it was good, but didn't soar, gripping but not insanely thrilling and there were some plot decisions which were very poor, indeed laughable. 

I was frustrated that Gabriel who'd been such a great foil for Cruise is reduced to nothing more than a moustache twiddling cartoon villain in this outing cackling evilly at times to remind us he's evil, but most annoying the Entity which featured so heavily in the last film disappears for a huge chunk of this film and even more maddeningly doesn't have a final showdown with Ethan, sure he's at the climax but I wanted a final confrontation. 

The action is superb but gone was any sense of a team of agents working together to save the world, the film tries and succeeds in tying together the past films in the series, with previous plot devices and story threads cleverly woven into this. But at times this came across as a Tom Cruise: Miss IM: Greatest hits show, with this incredible achievements acknowledged in a sort of film festival sort of way, you have expected Cruise to stand up and accept the award while in the background on the big screen a compilation clip is show of all his best bits, oh wait. That's exactly what happened! 

Look, I love the Miss Im films, well all except the second one, which is an absolute pile of donkey dicks. And in preparation for this one Pet and I rewatched them all, including the second one and I have to say that despite how entertaining this was, it wasn't as good, it didn't roar, it sort of hummed. But that's not to say this was a bad film, it just wasn't as good as I wanted it to be. There was too much incident, and too much time was taken in just getting Ethan and his band together for the final act. Indeed it felt that 2/3rds of this was just the premable, which was all too linear, there were no surprises, everything was methodically laid out, every problem was dealt with as the team moved on to the next. Perhaps one of the high lights was the unexpected return of a character from the first film who proves to be an absolute delight. 

However, all that said, this had great stunts, my god, the stunts were amazing, that bi-plane stunt will have you holding your breathe, and that coupled with great action, and some nice character work including managing to make Simon Pegg likeable (and all it took was a collapsed lung), the direction by Christopher McQuarrie is superb, he and Cruise are a great team, the music was perfect and action was good and yet... 

I saw this last week and I've been mulling it over for a week, I've even talked to a couple of critics for their opinion and we all seemed to feel the same way, that it was 'good, but not great'. And alas at the end of the day I really wanted this to be great, to end the franchise on a beautiful high. 

8/10 

#33-#35: LIFE AQUATIC WITH STEVE ZISSOU, FANTASTIC MR. FOX, THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL

 

We've been blessed by a recent re-release of some Wes Anderson oldies and what a treat. Sadly, The Royal Tennanbaums got cancelled, and they didn't show my personal favourite Anderson, Rushmore, but that's the only negative.

Life Aquatic with Steve Sizzou is edgiest of the three, but with the best soundtrack, I find it probably the saddest of his films. The performances are exceptional, with Bill Murray soaring the highest. Mr Fox is gloriously animated and Anderson's unique visual style is allowed to zing but for me the Grand Budapest Hotel was simply flawless and it's probably my joint favourite Anderson movie along with Rushmore. It's so layered, both in characters and plot, it's relentless and feels like a screwball comedy. Ralph Fiennes has never been better his creation of Guastave is sublime. I cannot fault this film, I loved every second and would have happily watched it again straight away. I watched it with a grin and found myself delighted endlessly by the visual brilliance of Anderson, and beautiful elegant storytelling.

Wonderful stuff.

Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou   9/10
The Fantastic Mr. Fox                9/10

The Grand Budapest Hotel        10/10

#32: FINAL DESTINATION: BLOODLINES

 

STARRING: Kaitlyn Santa Juana, Teo Briones, Richard Harmon, Owen Patrick Joyner, Rya Kihlstedt, Anna Lore, Brec Bassinger and Tony Todd. Written by Guy Busick and Lori Evans Taylor from a story by Jon Watts, Guy Busick and Lori Evans Taylor. Directed by Zach Lipovsky and Adam Stein. Running time 110 minutes.

I'll say this about Death, he's not very good at his job if this latest installment in the 25 year-old franchise is anything to go by, because yet again he managed to avoid a whole family worth of victims who should have died but somehow avoided his tender mercies.

The best thing about the Final Destination franchise are the ridiculously convoluted deaths and this installment is packed to the brim with some truly spectacular deaths, deaths that make you laugh in delight. It's interesting that I've no longer got any time or patience for slasher films, I hate watching people getting stalked and slashed by masked killers, but watching a cast of characters dying gruesomely in so called accidents is an absolute blast! 

Plus Psycho Gran gets a sort of mention.

And that's about it! I very much enjoyed this movie. 

8/10

#31: FINAL DESTINATION

STARRING: Seann William Scott, Devon Sawa, Ali Larter, Kerr Smith, Tony Todd. Written by Glen Morgan, James Wong and Jeffrey Reddick, from a story by Jeffrey Reddick. Directed by James Wong. Originally released in 2000. Budget $23 million. Running time 98 minutes.

A group of excited teenage high school kids board a plane for a trip to Paris. One of the kids, Alex Browning (Ali Browning) has a horrific premonition that the plane is going to go down in a ball of fire and gets himself and five other passengers thrown off the plane. When the plane promptly explodes killing everybody onboard, Alex is ostracised by both the other survivors and the families of the victims. He's also a person of interest for the FBI who hound him constantly assuming he had something to do with the disaster. When the survivors start dying in a series of ghastly, gruesome, elaborate W.H.Robinson style accidents, Alex realises that because they've all cheated Death, Death is now coming for them, can Alex find a way to survive? 

What follows is an enjoyable, gory, slasher film, where the deaths cause you to laugh with amusement, so inventive and outlandish are they. You find yourself trying to second guess how each death is going to occur. Naturally, when I first saw this the shocks worked brilliantly, this time round, you remember what's about to occur. Although that doesn't stop this from still being a lot of fun. 

It's directed and edited well, the performances didn't win any Oscars and it's done and dusted in 98 minutes. It's not a film you need to rewatch over and over again, but once every 25 years seems about right. 

Overall, this isn't big, or clever, it looks a tad cheap and low budget, but  nevertheless it's silly, exceedingly gruesome and loads of fun. Like watching 24 HRs in A&E, but one where you not only get to see the accidents too. 

7/10 

#30: THUNDERBOLTS*

STARRING: Florence Pugh, Sebastian Stan, Wyatt Russell, Olga Kurylenko, Lewis Pullman, Geraldine Viswanathan, David Harbour, Hannah John-Kamen and Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Screenplay by Eric Pearson and Joanna Calo. Directed by Jake Schreier. Budget $180 million. Running time 126 minutes.

Facing impeachment, Congress woman and C.I.A. Director Valentina Allegra de Fontaine (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) decides to destroy all evidence of her criminal experiments and illegal covert activities by sending all of her various freelance enhanced agents, Yelena Belova (Florence Pugh), U.S. Agent (Wyatt Russell), Ghost (Hannah John-Kamen), Taskmaster (Olga Kurylenko) to a top secret storage facility in the desert to kill an intruder and destroy everything they find inside. However the various characters all discover they've been lied to by Fontaine who wants all of them dead and they find themselves locked deep underground in the complex which is counting down to destruction. While bickering and fighting, they manage to release a young man called Bob, who has no idea where he is or why. Together they manage to escape the base and find themselves on the run from Fontaine and the might of the US Intelligence services. Luckily Yelena's dad, Alexei Shostakov aka Red Guardian (David Habour), helps them escape and with the aid of Bucky the Winter Solider (Sebastian Stan) the gang of misfits team up to stop Fontaine and her incredibly powerful new enforcer called Sentry.

Well, here we are the 36th installment of the MCU and the last film in the utterly terrible Phase Five series that has included some of the worst movies in the entire canon including: Pant-Man and the Wasp: Quantum-tedium, The Marbles, and Crapton Americant: Bland New World. As well as the mediocre Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3. and the candy floss emptyness of Deadpoo and Wolverwhine.

But what of Thunderbolts*? Well, what an utter and unexpected surprise, this one ain't just not bad, it's actually pretty goddam good! A very satisfying, funny, action-packed and engaging movie with good performances, especially from Florence Pugh who is this film's MVP, and backed up by solid turns by the rest of the cast and a very game Julia Louis-Dreyfus who brings a glorious level of comedic malevolence to the role of Fontaine.

The time flew by, there was no saggy middle, and it had not only a strong emotional arc but also a good third act structure and conclusion. And I'm as surprised by this outcome as you probably are. I'm sure, like me, you probably can't see the point in a film featuring a bunch of characters you either don't know or can't remember, but wasn't that the same for the first Guardians movie? And this one too creates something enjoyable with an unknown cast of characters. 

Sure it's not perfect the ending feels a little rushed but regardless it's thoroughly entertaining, satisfying and the cast have good group chemistry together. The humour isn't forced or too much like the last two Thor movies, and the the film isn't flooded with too many pixels like Pant-Man. And finally there's no spinning vortex of doom and no 'oh my god the whole world, sorry Solar System, sorry Universe is going to end.' threat. Even if it is city-sized.

Actually going to go and see this again as a double bill with The Accountant 2.
Hopefully this will see off the curse of super-hero fatigue to do well at the box office, cos it deserves too.

And as always with these films there are two post credit stings, the first is an amusing throw away but the second at the very end had me squeaking in delight, although I guessed what was about to occur, it's for once well worth the long slow crawl through the credits.

8/10