FILMS OF 2022

With two weeks to go before the end of this year (what!? How did that happen?) I have decided to publish my review of the year now rather than later.

As a result I might have to revise the list, should I manage to make it to the cinema again this year to see, say Whitney Huston: I Wanna Dance, which is actually the only new film I want to see from the list of mediocrity on offer at Cineworld this month.

Anyhoo, as of this year, somehow I managed to see 60 films at cinema despite there being a distinct lack of movies on offer as opposed to pre-pandemic years. This year I've struggled some months to find something new at my local 12 screen cinema, and the usual summer glut of big blockbusters was greatly reduced this year.

The one good thing about this state of affairs is the re-issuing classic movies, a trend I hope continues on and on. Nothing beats getting a chance to revisit old favourites on the big screen again and my original TOP TEN list was originally filled with those films. However, for this list, only new films released at the cinema were reviewed and rated.

TOP TEN OF 2022

1. LICORICE PIZZA 10/10
"Like liquorice itself this film might not be to everyone's taste, but for me, it was a cinematic manna."

2. BANSHEES OF INISHERIN 10/10
"It is a brilliantly written black comedy with humour, as black as coal, wrapped up in expertly written dialogue and well-rounded, believable characters."

3. LIVING 9/10
"A total delight and joy."

4. NOPE 9/10
"At times, funny, scary and downright exhilarating. It's one of the best films of the summer, if not year." 

5. THE WOMAN KING 9/10
"This is a gripping, intense and satisfyingly dramatic movie, featuring some wonderful cinematography and excellent performances."

6. THE BAT MAN 9/10
"I bloody loved this and will be going back to see it again!*" 

7. UNBEARABLE WEIGHT OF MASSIVE TALENT 8/10
"... a bloody, laugh-out-loud, funny film that succeeds entirely thanks to the wonderful bro-mance between Cage and Pascal."

8. TOP GUN: MAVERICK 8/10
"... featuring real footage that'll have you on the edge of your seat, holding your breathe and whooping with delight."

9. AVATAR: THE WAY OF WATER 8/10
"Visually this film is a staggering masterpiece, it's a cinematic spectacle that needs to be seen on the biggest screen possible."

10. EVERYTHING, EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE 8/10
"in a sea of mediocrity this stands like a big shiny beacon of hope."

(* I didn't.)

ALL THE REST

11. THE ELECTRICAL LIFE OF LOUIS WAIN 8/10

12. BRIAN AND CHARLES 8/10 

13. NORTHMAN 8/10

14. HATCHING 8/10

15. BODIES BODIES BODIES 8/10

16. ELVIS 8/10

17. CONFESS, FLETCH 8/10

18. DOC STRANGE: ITMOM 8/10

19. THE DUKE 8/10

20. OPERATION MINCEMEAT 8/10

21. CRIMES OF THE FUTURE 8/10

22. NIGHTMARE ALLEY 8/10

23. BELFAST 8/10

24. VENGEANCE 8/10

25. DON'T WORRY DARLING 7/10

26. SEE HOW THEY RUN 7/10

27. JACKASS FOREVER 7/10

28. THOR: LOVE AND THUNDER 7/10

29. BULLET TRAIN 7/10

30. DOG 7/10

31. AMSTERDAM 7/10

32. AMBULANCE 7/10

33. PHANTOM OF THE OPEN 7/10

34. VIOLENT NIGHT 6/10

35. MRS HARRIS GOES TO PARIS 6/10

36. BLACK PANTHER: WANKAS FOREVER 6/10

37. FANTASTIC SECRET BREASTS OF DUMBLEDORE 6/10

38. DEATH ON THE NILE 6/10

39. BLACK PHONE 6/10

40. MOONFALL 6/10

41. THE LOST CITY 6/10

42. MINIONS THE RISE OF GRU 6/10

43. LIGHTYEAR 5/10

TOP SIX RE-ISSUES

1. JAWS 10/10
"one of the best films ever made."

2. ROBOCOP 10/10

3. STAR TREK II: THE WRATH OF KHAN 10/10 

4. BRAM STOKER'S DRACULA 9/10 

5. AVATAR 8/10 

6. E.T: THE EXTRA TERRESTRAL 8/10

WORST FILMS OF 2022 (IN DESCENDING ORDER)

10. THE LOST CITY 6/10
"I just wish it had been funnier and more frothy, say like the trailer. Beyond that. I have nothing more to add. It didn't fill me with rage or bile, and I quite liked it."

9. MINIONS THE RISE OF GRU 6/10
"a lot more middling than I was expecting and surprisingly low in the laughter department."

8. LIGHTYEAR 5/10
"very generic, rather dull story with nothing new to say."

7. THE 355 5/10
"... too earnest and a little too happy to let you play cliche bingo with all its plot points and contrivances for its own good."

6. DOWNTOWN ABBEY 4/10
"To say I hated this despicable pile of cinematic tripe would be an insult to all those terrible films that I've had to sit through in the past." 

4. UNCHARTED 4/10
"... a bland, dreary, and boring film with an unpleasant centre that manages to be both dull and un-engaging in equal measure."

5. BLACK ADAM 3/10
"Apparently this steaming pile of cinematic feces heralds a new beginning for the DCU and if this is the case god help us all."

3. MORBIUS 3/10
"This is a dull, boring, 'Meh' movie, one that is just utterly predictable and genuinely unmemorable."

2. FIRESTARTER 3/10
"... Sadly in the third act, I really couldn't be arsed any more and dozed off, meaning I had to go online to find out how it ended.

Thank god I missed that, my blood would have boiled."

1. JURASSIC PARK: DOMINION 3/10 
"My son, wisely refused to come with the rest of us to see this and by doing so missed out on the best part of the evening – sitting in bar afterwards laughing at it and slagging off just how shit this shit-filled, shitty shitfest was."