#22: FAST AND FURIOUS: FAST X

 

Starring Vin Diesel, Jason Momoa, Michelle Rodriguez, Tyrese Gibson, Chris Bridges, John Cena, Nathalie Emmanuel, Jordana Brewster, Sung Kang Scott Eastwood, Daniela Melchior, Alan Ritchson, Helen Mirren, Brie Larson, Rita Moreno, Jason Statham, and Charlize Theron, with a cameo from Gal Gadot. Written by Dan Mazeau and Justin Lin, from a story by Dan Mazeau, Justin, Lin and Zach Dean. Directed by Louis Leterrier. Budget $340 million. Running time 141 minutes.

There is almost no point in trying to synopsise this film, ultimately it doesn't matter one jot as no-one involved, apart from Vim Weasel cares. But it concern's Dom Toretto (Wim Weevil)'s expanded family of thieves and murderers going on the run after the previously unknown son of the Brazilian drug baron, Dante (Jason Momoa) turns up to kill everyone, but only after they've been made to suffer horribly. Targeting Dom Cornetto's son only makes him, Dim Viesel, madder leading him to scour even more earnestly. Meanwhile the film quickly splits up Dong Tourette's family giving almost every member of the massive cast their own little story as they jet around Europe looking for missing cast mates. New characters are introduced including a gorgeous Alan Ritchson, who would make a simply fantastic Doc Savage. Old characters are re-introduced, old enemies become frenemies and only Dwayne Johnson's Luke Hobbes is noticeable by his absence. 

This globe hopping spy action adventure film is quite frankly and quite honestly the single funniest none comedy I have ever seen. Indeed, I can't remember the last time I've laughed as long or as hard and it's most certainly the funniest film I've seen this year. 

Starting off way too earnestly for its own good and giving old egg-head Pin Wheedle the opportunity to attempt acting, something he's just not that good at. This film tries, and fails, to make you care one iota about this band of violent criminals and fails spectacularly, no one cares about them, they just want stunts and boy do they get them. As with all the films in this franchise, the laws of gravity are utterly ignored for the sake of outlandish CGI stunts and the number of deaths of both collateral damage and faceless henchmen is off the hook. Each new stunt is bigger than the last and more implausible and funnier as a result.

It suddenly dawned on me, after about an hour that I was thoroughly enjoying myself because this film is so down right stupid it actually transcends its own awfulness and becomes something incredibly rare – a film that is so bad it's actually good! 

Nothing makes any sense in this utterly ridiculously stupid film, indeed so stupid is it that you'll find yourself laughing out loud at the outlandish coincidences, story contrivances and downright funny plot holes. The whole thing still seems written by a bunch of 12 year-old boys ripped to the tits on sugar and your chance to play 'Guess the next line of dialogue' will surely reap you a mighty score!

There is so much to mention that it would take twice as long as this to list but a fraction of the delights in store for you. Just go in as you would a Panto and be prepared to shout out, "HE'S BEHIND YOU!" and to boo and hiss at the baddy each time he appears and you'll have a whale of a time! But go in expecting something approaching another Mission Impossible movie and prepare to be deeply disappointed. 

Jason Momoa clearly relishes his role and hams it up to such an extent that those trying to bring some gravitas to this ludicrous film are simply shamed into submission. Joining in on the fun are Jason Statham, John Cena, Tyrese Gibson, Chris Bridges, Charlize Theron and Brie Larson who all know a panto when they see one, while emoting hard-boiled egg Bin Beagle and his own-screen wife Michelle Rodriguez pointlessly try to make the whole silly adventure seem serious, which in turns brings even more humour to the proceedings. 

But perhaps that's why this is so good, I've not enjoyed a Fast & Furious film since the Brazilian one and indeed the last outing with the nuclear submarine was so lamentable and stupid that I hated it, with a passion. Indeed I went in expecting to hate this one too and was delighted to discover that despite myself I actually enjoyed this, laughing myself almost hoarse. 

It's loud, unbelievably loud, it's so frantic it's like a 5 year-old kid with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder on a sugar rush, and so stupid it's downright brilliant. 

I originally gave this 8/10, but I can't in good faith honour that score. It's an 8 because it was so bad it became funny, that was never the intention of the film makers. This is not a good film by any measure. in fact it's probably one of the worst films of the year, so it's annoying it was so damn enjoyable if for all the wrong reasons.

So a more reasonable score would be 3/10