Starring Harrison Ford, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Mads Mikkelsen, Antonio Banderas, John Rhys-Davies, Toby Jones and Boyd Holbrook. Written by Jez Butterworth, John-Henry Butterworth, David Koepp and James Mangold. Directed by James Mangold. Music by John John-Henry. Running time 154 minutes. Budget $300 million.
Oh boy! Another sequel no one was screaming out for, but at least this is only number five in the series and not number Ten. Bringing back long-in-the-tooth Harrison Ford to play good old Indiana Jones, everyone's favourite grave-robbing octogenarian for one last adventure. Like I say, this is what the kids of today have been crying out for! An 80 year-old action hero whose last appearance was 15 years ago.
This time round, we Join Indiana back in zee war fighting Nazis for bragging rights on the Lance of Longius, the spear that stabbed Jesus. However once Jones and Toby Jones's Basil Shaw stumble upon one half of Archimedes' Dial they set off on another adventure, one that'll consume their lives for the next twenty five years. Ultimately it will re-unite Jones with Mads Mikkelsen's ex-Nazi Doctor Voller, who's now working for NASA, with whom Jones originally stole the Dial from back in 1944. Now it's 1969 and as the world celebrates Man's landing on the Moon, Indiana Jones's Goddaughter, Helena Shaw (Phoebe Waller-Bridge), daughter of the dead Basil Shaw who pops up to rob Indiana of the Dial and contribute to the murder of two innocent bystanders, don't worry they won't be the last), thanks to her actions she'll also be responsible for the deaths of several other people, but since they're were no better than NPCs who cares?
Turns out she's a ruthless grave-robbing treasure-hunter willing to sell-out anyone to make a fast buck off rare archaeological items, like the Dial. From then on it's a race across some of Europe in search of the other half of the Dial that brings the Godfather and Daughter together in a race against the Nazis from finding the Dial of Destiny, which it is rumoured to be able to change history, literally.
I've been looking forward to this one ever since the first trailer. I was hoping it would be the one great blockbuster of the year. I loved Raiders of the Lost Ark ever since I first saw it back in 1981. Of the rest I've never been a fan of Temple of Doom (1984), which I found too mean spirited and nasty, although I rather enjoyed Last Crusade (1989) and as to Crystal Skull (2008) I have to admit I really didn't like, no siree.
Raiders, was one of those rare note-perfect movies, a wonderful piece of film making and a great example of 'lightening in a bottle', which 'they' Spielberg and Lucas were never able to recapture the magic again. This time round with both of them gone, the reins have been passed over to James Mangold as director and four people as writers. So, what does that give us?
Well, I'm said to say a rather one-note and flat adventure that never really engages, the plot is propelled purely by coincidence, Indie just stumbling across the next plot hole as if by magic. Progressing in a steady stroll from A to zee, crossing every 'T' and dotting every 'i', there's no drama, no real excitement just a sedate quest journey across Europe looking for the next McMuffin until the baddies seem to have won and Indie and Goddaughter team up to thwart Mads and return the status quo.
You need to suspend your disbelief as a putt-putt rickshaw manages to outrace a Jag in a car chase through Morocco, while Indie survive death-defying injuries time-after-time, and various events happen just to keep things moving along. Plus it doesn't help that we're reminded that Indie's just too old for this shit.
A very generic and flat adventure that featured some genuinely creepy looking de-aging CGI, some so-so woefully CGI effects, including a terrible run across the roofs of a moving train and some distracting Uncanny Valley CGI.
Sadly, it just doesn't engage, it's not that exciting and it's all very pedestrian. Oh, and there's just too much Phoebe, her character is so unlikeable and unpleasant that it's hard for her to win us over, but ultimately she does, late in the third act. But it's not all bad, it's an okay film, it's just it should have soared, instead it's just very average and far too long. The original Raiders of the Lost Arc managed to be a million times better and do it in a delightful and brisk 115 minutes, which is a bum-numbing 39 minutes shorter than this bloated outing and boy do you feel it.
Although this is far better than Crystal Skull and far more enjoyable than Temple of Doom it's still a film that you might be better off watching at home.
I came out of this unmoved and rather flat. It was okay while on, but the plot-holes and contrivances were just too distracting and I wasn't as enthralled and gripped as I was by the others, even Crystal Skull.
7/10
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