#34: BOY KILL WORLD

 

STARRING: Bill Skarsgard, Jessica Rothe, Michelle Dockery, Famke Janssen, Sharlto Copley, Brett Gelman, Isaiah Mustafa and Andrew Koji, Yayan Ruhian and the voice of H. Jon Benjamin. Story by Arend Remmers and Moritz Mohr, screenplay by Tyler Burton Smith and Arend Remmers. Produced by Sam Raimi and Directed by Moritz Mohr. Running time 111 minutes.

Set in the near future this comedy action romp sees Skarsgard plays Boy, a deaf mute boy whose mother and sister, Mina was killed years earlier by the Can Der Koy family headed by Famke Janssen's Hilda. Boy escaped into the forest to be raised and trained to be the ultimate killer by Yayan Ruhian's Shaman. Now years later he sets off on the revenge trail to kill everyone, including Can Der Koy's top female henchwoman and killer, the crash helmeted June 27, Jessica Rothe.

What follows is a relentless, chaotic, vertigo inducing, frenzied gratuitous orgy of ultra violence and blood letting, filmed and edited as if played back at high speed. The cutting is so furious and kinetic that it's almost impossible to see what's going on. The conceit of Boy's deafness is mostly ignored and because our hero is the so-called action hero is mute it's left to everyone else to propel the overly complicated plot along with over-the-top delivery and overly dramatic characters. 

Once again, it's one of those films whose trailer is far more enjoyable than the finished product. 

It probably doesn't help that I watched this before Commando but wrote this review after, because in comparison, this, Boy Kills World is just all style and no content. And two days later I can barely remember a thing about it, aside from some truly over the top kills and some relentless non-stop action sequences that the John Wick films pioneered and did far better.

Left nearly two hours later, weary and a little bored. 

6/10

#33: NYE

 

Starring Michael Sheen, written by Tim Price.

Not a film, nor a theatre play but something all-together different. This was a profoundly moving and engrossing experience. Sheen was utterly mesmerising and was ably supported by a superb cast. The film presented mostly as a fever dream following his operation for a suspected stomach ulcer that revealed something far more serious, the film flows through key moments in his life from naive youth to eager student and dedicated but flawed political legend to his death.

The performance left many in the audience around me sobbing and it's hardly surprising, I'm not entirely comfortable with live theatre and this was only the second NFT performance I've ever seen, the first being Frankenstein, which was equally powerful. 

This was brilliantly mounted and staged and left me moved and inspired and made me want to see more. I found it extremely moving in a way I found truly unique and special. I was amazed at the sheer skill of Sheen and left the cinema with a new respect for theatre.  

10/10

#32: MAD MAX: FURY ROAD

Starring Charlize Theron, Tom Hardy, Nicholas Hoult and Hugh Keays-Byrne. Written by Brendan McCarthy, Nick Lathouris, George Miller and Eric Blakeney. Directed by George Miller. Budget $185 million dollars. 2 hours all too short. Originally released in 2015

Since it was first released I have seen this film three times at the cinema and at least three times on Blu Ray at home. I remain stunned and staggered by its pure cinematic uniqueness. The plot is more linear than a straight line and goes from A-B and back again and offers us what is actually one continuous car-chase, but a car chase like you've never seen the likes of. It is a truly stunning 2-hour adrenalin filled kinetic experience that still leaves you dazed and shell-shocked by its sheer scope and and yet still manages to provide story arcs for its  

Despite being titled Mad Max: Fury Road, the main focus is Charlize Theron's Furiosa, Nicholas Hoult's Nux and Tom Hardy's Max in third place, and yet incredibly for such a linear and relatively short film each manages to have a story to tell, and an arc, and are changed by the experience, quite an extraordinary achievement for what should be a brain-dead, action, summer blockbuster and indeed in a lesser director's hands, say Michael Bay it would be. 

Back in 2015 this was without a doubt the best action film of that year and I'd say it's still the best action film I've seen in the last nine years and easily one of the greatest action films ever made. I avoided the 3D version and now I regret it. This needs to be seen on the biggest screen possible! And I want to see it again on the IMAX in 3D!

Huge kudos to George Miller who made this. He created this genre with Mad Max back in 1979 and comes back to show the world he's still da king! I for one pray to the non-existent god I don't believe in that Miller sticks to making more [insert superlative of your own choice here] films like this one and less festering, stinking mush like Happy Feet.

By the way, the first Mad Max film was the second 'X' film I ever saw at the cinema, I was 15. and I can still remember it to this day, I'm fairly sure that 36 years from now I'll be just as fond of Fury Road, assuming I survive the apocalypse and can find enough gazoleen to power my generator and run my TV and Blu Ray player.

10/10

#35: COMMANDO

 

Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rae Dawn Chong, Vernon Welles. Written by Steven E. de Souza, from a story by Joseph Loeb III, Matthew Weisman and Steven E. de Souza. Music by James Horner. Produced by Joel Silver. Directed by Mark L. Lester. Budget $9 million. Running time 90 minutes. Originally released in 1985.

All together now: "CHENNY, CHENNY! DEY TOOKE CHENNY!"

God I love this stupid, stupid film, it's perhaps the most over-the-top action film ever made starring the greatest action film actor of all times, produced by the greatest action film producer and with the greatest sound track. It's also the only film made with an actual testosterone budget, which this film blew by 110%! 

In fact it's a film so action-packed I should think of writing this plot in caps only. 

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER PLAYS JOHN MATRIX, RETIRED MAJOR OF A DELTA FORCE SQUAD, WHO'S FORCED OUT OF RETIREMENT WHEN HIS DAUGHTER, CHENNEY, ALYSSA MILANO IS KIDNAPPED BY A MERCENARY ARMY LEAD BY VERNON WELLS' CAPTAIN BENNETT, UNDER THE ORDERS OF DAN HEDAYA'S PRESIDENT ARIUS. TURNS OUT MATRIX STAGED A COUP THAT LEAD TO THE OUSTING OF ARIUS, AND HE WANTS HIS STATE BACK. HIS PLAN IS TO FORCE MATRIX TO KILL THE NEW PRESIDENT, OH AND THAT'S IT. HOWEVER, EVER RESOURCEFUL JOHN MATRIX TRICKS THE BADDIES INTO THINKING HE'S ON THE MISSION WHEN HE'S ACTUALLY HUNTING THEM AND HE'S GOT 11 HOURS TO SAVE THE DAY. ALONG THE WAY HE KIDNAPS RAE DAWN CHONG'S AIR STEWARDESS, CINDY TO HELP HIM. ALL THIS PREAMBLE IS JUST TO GET ARNIE TO ARIUS'S ISLAND MILITARY BASE, WHERE HIS ARMY IS WAITING TO INVADE, SO HE CAN LITERALLY KILL EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM WITH EVERY WEAPON KNOW TO MAN, FROM BAZOOKA TO MACHINE GUN, PISTOL, SHOTGUN, ZOMBIE KNIFE, MACHETTE TO BUZZ SAW BLADES AND A GARDEN HOE. 

Added to the mix IS a glorious army of hard-men lead by Bill Duke and David Patrick Kelly and a nameless army of stunt men to be blown up, shot and stabbed to death for 90 beautifully tight and well plotted minutes. Perfectly following the Syd Field three act structure to a tee, this really is the most fun action film you could imagine. Arnie who the previous year had made: Terminator, was about to embark on the three film run of glorious action films that included Raw Deal, Predator and Running Man and was well on his way of cementing his reputation as the greatest action actor of ALL-TIME!

Mark Lester the film's director would go on to direct a further 15 movies, but none of them would be as beloved. But for me the true unsung hero of the film is uber-Producer Joel Silver who, from 1985 to 1993 produced a staggering tally of great films that included Lethal Weapon 1,2 &3, Predator 1&2, Action Jackson, Die Hard, Hudson Hawk, the Last Boy Scout and Demolition Man to name but a few.

What makes this film stand out against action films of today, like say, Boy Kills World, is the camera work, the editing and the approach to the action. It's not shaky-cam, the editing isn't insanely frenzied and it's framed so you can actually see what's going on. And then there's the superb soundtrack by James Horner.

Added to that is a script with a good dose of humour and some terrific one liners, "You know when I said, I'd leave you till last, Sully...", "I eat Green Berets for breakfast." or "Let off some steam, Bennett.", you can see Arnie still learning his craft here, but he's a fast learner and just a year or two later he's making Predator. But it's the fetishistic gun-porn and violence that just makes Commando so unapologetically enjoyable. With a bodycount in the hundreds and ten times that many in blood squibs, I would indeed argue that Commando is easily the most delightfully violent film of all times! Indeed it's such an immensely satisfying and enjoyable movie that I've lost count of the number of times I've seen over the years. And once again, how wonderful to see it on the big screen again! In fact, I don't think I've seen it on the big screen since 1985!

9/10!

#30: DEMOLITION MAN

 

STARRING Sylvester Stallone, Wesley Snipes, Sandra Bullock and Nigel Hawthorne. Screenplay by Daniel Waters, Robert Reneau and Peter M. Lenkov. Story by Peter M. Lenkov and Robert Reneau. Produced by Joel Silver, Michael Levy and Howard Kazanjian. Music by Elliot Goldenthal. Budget $77 million. Running time 115 minutes. 

Originally released in 1993 in the same year of Jurassic Park, The Fugitive, Schindler's List and another Stallone classic, Cliffhanger, Demolition Man has become something of a much-loved treasure, often cited by people who've probably not seen it in a while as one of their favourite Stallone flicks.

The plot, set only three years in its future (from when it was made), but now over 28 years in our past, sees Stallone's super cop, John Spartan get into a ruck with Wesley Snipes' psychotic maniac, mass-murdering Uber Simon Phoenix. Both end up getting frozen for crimes against humanity and awakened in the far flung future of 2032.

The world of 2032 is now a glorious woke utopia, with instant fines for minor infractions, including swearing, and the banishment of toilet paper in favour of three sea-shells. It's a world of peace and love, where crime is a distant memory and violence is a thing of the past under the benevolent rule of Nigel Hawthorne's Dr. Raymond Cocteau. But when Phoenix is unleashed into a world unprepared for his violence the only course of action is to unfreeze Spartan to bring him down! Partnered with Sandra Bullock's young eager cop Lenina Huxley (named after Aldous Huxley) the pair set out to save the world of the future!

There's so much that good in this film, such great ideas and concepts and yet it never has time to slow down and explore this world before the weakest part, that battle between Spartan and Phoenix takes over. The action builds until the obligatory final showdown, but by then it's gone from being a unique vision of the future to become just another slam-dunk action-fest.

It's a pretty looking film, with a good solid cast, but doesn't quite gel.

7/10

  

#31: CON AIR

 

Starring: Nicolas Cage, John Cusack, John Malkovich, Ving Rhames, Steve Buscemi, Colm Meaney, Mykelti Williamson and Rachel Ticotin. Produced by Jerry Bruckheimer, music by Mark Manchina. Written by Scott Rosenberg, directed by Simon West. Budget $75 million. Running time 115 minutes. Originally released in 1997.

After serving at five or six years in a maximum security prison, convicted murderer and ex-army Ranger, Cameron Poe (John Cusack) is getting released and he's eager to race back home to meet his daughter for the very first time. To aid him, the authorities stick him on Con Air, a regular air-flight that transports prisoners across America for prison-transfers, court dates and the such. Unfortunately for Poe, the flight he's on has been booked to take all of the worst criminals in America to a new uber-super-dooper maximum security prison. Among the literal worst-of-the-worst is John Malkovich's Cyrus 'The Virus' Grissom, Steve Buscemi's Garland 'The Marietta Mangler' Greene, Ving Rhames's Nathaniel 'Diamond Dog' Jones and M.C. Gainey's Earl 'Swamp Thing' Williams.
Gosh, I hope these criminals geniuses don't plan an extraordinary escape plan take over the plane and escape leaving only one good man, Cameron Poe, to thwart their nefarious plans and save the day. Meanwhile on the ground, John Cusack's U.S. Marshal Vincent Larkin and Com Meaney's DEA Agent Duncan Malloy race around in Corvette Stingrays and Apache helicopters trying to stop them.

Released in 1997 seemingly with the express intention of out-doing the Rock, which was released just a year earlier, Con Air is an outrageous, huge, action-packed juggernaut of an action pic delivering the cinematic sugar rush equivalent of 5lbs of chocolate-dipper, sugar coated popcorn covered in caramel sauce. It's ludicrous, ridiculous, unbelievably silly, stupidly loud and pants down daft. Nicolas Cage in his absolute physical peak looks fantastic as the hench, but not too hench, Cameron Poe, perhaps his best ever character name. The action, which never lets up culminates in an utterly explosive plane crash that seems to last for at least 30 minutes, it's similar in tone to the added action beat in Speed, the plane crash in the middle of Las Vagas, obviously, triggers the final act showdown between Cameron and Cirus and ends with a 'Speed-esque' decapitation that feels genuinely like a two-fingers up to Dennis Hopper's character's demise. It's so outlandish and OTT it actually has the effect of making the film seem, dare I say, 'silly'.

Cage made three fantastic action films between 97-98, the first The Rock, Con Air and finally Face/Off, from Michael Bay, Simon West and John Woo, and of the three this is by far the most immediate and light-hearted.

It's bat-shit crazy with an ridiculous plot, utterly implausible characters and a truly stupid film, if it wasn't for the god awful music, which truly dates this film, I think this would be a contender for a solid 9/10, as it is it's just a worthy 7. And a lot of that comes down to John Malkovich's performance, he really seems to be having a blast with the role. That said, does everyone.

7/10

#29: THE FIRST OMEN

 

Starring Nell Tiger Free, Tawfeek Barhom, Sonia Braga, Ralph Ineson and Bill Nighy. Written by Tim Smith, Arkasha Stevenson and Keith Thomas, from a story by Ben Jacoby. Directed by Arkasha Stevenson. Budget $30 million. Running time 119 minutes.

Back in 1976 The Omen, written by David Seltzer and directed by Richard Donner opened and went on to spawn franchise that birthed four sequels, one reboot and this, a prequel. 

The original film is a classic of horror and managed in it's 111 minute running time tell a gripping, sinister and dramatic story with a good cast that included Gregory Peck and Lee Remick. The film had a beginning, a middle and an end. What it didn't have was the need to tell or show baby Damien's conception and birth and I think we can all agree that the one thing we all thought about when we left the cinema or finished watching the movie on TV for the first time was, "I wish I knew how Damien was conceived." 

Well, thank the gods of cinema because your wish has been granted and the world is better for knowing. 

To make this happen though the film has to recon its own history and so that famous line from the first film when Father Brennan tells Thorn that his son's mother was a jackal is no longer the truth. Oh, and a whole second secret church has to be created that isn't satanic but rather a black flag church who've decided to birth the anti-Christ so they can manipulate and control him and lead the people back to the church and God. 

Carrying on with that peculiar horror genre 'Nunploitation', the film has all the jump cuts and tropes you've come to expect as well as some all-too knowing nods to the original and vastly better film, including a blatant rip off of the 'It's all for you, Damien!" scene. So expect heavily sign-posted OTT deaths, possessed nuns, sinister kids, and glimpses of something demonic in the basement. 

What it doesn't have is the charm, skill or originality of the original. 

Nell Tiger Free leads the cast who all do their damndest to make this nonsense work, and it's not their fault that information has to be witheld to make the whole thing work. 

It's okay, it's too long, a lot of it makes no sense and at the end of the day, it's just another prequel determined to kick start its own divergent franchise with a vengeful mother and, a sibling for Damien...

All in all, okay. 

7/10

#28: SEIZE THEM!

 

WHO ORDERED THE SHIT SANDWICH?

Starring Aimee Lou Wood, Nicola Coughlan, Lolly Adefope, Nick Frost and Jessica Hynes. Written by Andy Riley. Directed by Curtis Vowell. Financed by a three number win on the Lotto. Running time 91 minutes, god was it only 91?

Ever stopped to wonder what a 21st Century Carry On film would look like? One featuring a veritable who's who of UK comedy performers of today, but written for a more kind and caring audience? Well wonder no more because if it's this then it's...

Lazy, dull, boring and for the most part crap. Jokes arrive occasionally and blandly, mostly revolving around stupid people saying stoopid things and references to poo. 

It's also telling that the most interesting aspect of the whole thing is the reuniting of Nick Frost and Jessica Hynes, who first acted together in the brilliant Spaced sit-com.

This is one of those comedies where the lead character learns valuable life lessons and where the humour is for the most part non-existent. Imagine a Horrible Histories but with none of the wit, charm or humour and made with a fraction of the budget. Not funny. The plot sees the 'not very popular' Queen Dagan (Aimee Lou Wood) deposed by Humble Joan (Nicola Coughlan), inventor of flame powder. The queen heads off with her maid, Shulmay (Lolly Adefope) on a road trip to rally up some troops while her usurper tries to hunt her down. Along the way they meet up with shit shoveler, Bobik (Nick Frost) where much hilarity doesn't happen, no chemistry is made and where what little jokes there be are thrown over a cliff before your very eyes, over and over again. Actually it's amusing to think that Bobik's job is to shovel shit, because that's literally what this film is. 

Best thing in it by a country mile is Lolly Adefope who once again proves to be an extremely good comedic actress. Shame she's saddled with such a shit show. Second best thing(s) in it are late third act arrivals Paul Kaye and John Macmillan as Kings Ivarr and Guthrum who have a laugh with what little they're given.

Overall just really crap. 

4/10 

#27: CIVIL WAR

 

Starring Kirsten Dunst, Wagner Moura, Cailee Spaeny, Stephen McKinley Henderson, Sonoya Mizuno and Nick Offerman. Written and directed by Alex Garland. Music by Ben Salisbury and Geoff Barrow. Budget $50 million. Running time 109 minutes. 

It's sometime in the near future and America is in the middle of a Civil War, indeed the Civil War of the title, which is lucky, but not for the four plucky journos who set off on a 'Heart of Darkness' style voyage across America in an estate car to interview the President, Nick Offerman. Along the way they witness and document the war first hand with deadly consequences in Alex Garland's dystopic vision.

Blimey, what a film, the road-trip structure works well showing the disintegration of America first hand in a series of encounters and battles. The journalist's group consist of Lee Smith (Kirsten Dunst) a very jaded and war-weary photo-journalist, her producer Joel (Wagner Moura), her old mentor and New York Times reporter, Sammy (Stephen McKinley Henderson, and a young aspiring photographer, Jessie Cullen (Cailee Spaeny) who blags a lift. As they near the heart of their journey the horrors they witness become more personal and more deadly until a final assault against the capital itself.

It's been criticised for a lack of characterisation, but not by me, the characters are thinly sketched I'd agree, but you're given enough to work with and once you understood the dynamic of the group and the parts they're all playing, the film comes into focus. It's the grubbiness and smallness of it all for the most part, until a shattering and deeply tense final act in the Capital itself that's worth the admission price alone. 

8/10
 

#26: SPEED

STARRING Keanu Reeves, Dennis Hopper, Sandra Bullock, Joe Morton and Jeff Daniels. Written by Graham Yost. Music by Mark Mancina, produced by Mark Gordon and directed by Jan de Bont. Budget $37 million. Running time 116 minutes. Originally released in 1994.

When demented bomber extortionist, Howard Payne (Dennis Hopper) bobby traps an express elevator in a skyscraper only the heroic intervention of Keanu Reeves' Jack Traven and buddy Harry Temple (Jeff Daniels) can save the day. And in a fantastically gripping and exciting opening 20 minutes they do! Trouble is, all that does is trigger Payne on an even more audacious plot, this time with double dose of added revenge, as he plants a bomb on a commuter bus which'll explode if the bus slows below 50mph. What follows a thrilling, action thriller classic, which cemented Keanu's career.

This was fun to see on the big screen again, it starts fantastically strong, but despite the hook, the bus dropping below 50, it doesn't quite sustain its momentum and the third act showdown between Keanu and Hopper on the subway train is just silly. And overall Sandra Bullock's whiny voice is the classic case of a little goes a long way. Still, at least Dennis Hopper was having fun.

Nowadays most of this would be done with CGI, so the practical effects are a positive, in fact, it's what makes the film feel so gripping, there feels like real stakes involved. Jan de Bont does a great job with the action and there's a huge sense of kinetic energy fuelling this action classic. The only real negative here is the soundtrack which shows its age and grates quite quickly.

8/10 

 

• Jeff Daniels as Detective Harry Temple

#25: PREDATOR

 

STARRING Arnold Schwarzenegger, Carl Weathers, Bill Duke, Richard Chaves, Jesse Ventura, Elpidia Carrillo, Sonny Landham, Shane Black, R.G. Armstrong, Kevin Peter Hall and Peter Cullen. Written by Tim and John Thomas, directed by John McTiernan. Produced by Lawrence Gordon, Joel Silver and John Davis.  Creature design Stan Winston. Budget $15-18 million. Running time 107 minutes. Originally released in 1987.

There are some films that are timeless and Predator is one of them, with a rare 'perfect' three-act structure, and adhering to the classic Syd Field school of plotting, with the 10 minute hook, the midpoint confrontation, and the end of act two crisis before the third act de-acceleration.

Written by two brothers, Tim and John Thomas (their first film script) Predator sees Major Alan 'Dutch' Schaefer (Arnold Schwarzenegger) lead his squad of combat veterans on a so-called rescue mission deep inside a South American rain forrest, there to locate and rescue a captured Senator and his pilot following a helicopter crash behind enemy lines. Along for the ride is Al Dillon, an ex-comrade in arms of Dutch, now a C.I.A operative. When the squad finds the skinned corpses of three Green Berets hanging from a tree they begin to suspect something isn't quite right and soon discover they're being tracked and hunted by an extraterrestrial creature who's come to Earth to hunt the most dangerous prey in the galaxy, Man. 

What follows is a fantastically well made, acted and tense action adventure that 33 years later still holds up. A film that spawned a much unneeded franchise and a total of four sequels, including a prequel, and two 'team-up' sequels, countless video games, books, toys and comics.

Shown as part of Cineworld's 'Action' season, this was a glorious opportunity to see Predator back on the big screen and boy did it deliver! Packed with memorable lines, "Stick around.","I ain't got time to bleed.', "Knock knock.", Get to the chopper!" and my favourite, "L.Z is clear. Go for insertion." and some spectacularly O.T.T. action scenes directed with perfection by John McTiernan who was on something of a roll back then directing in the space of three years - Die Hard, Predator and The Hunt for Red October, sadly he ended up helming the absolute sac of shit remake that is Rollerball. 

Anyway, this is perfection and I can't fault it. 

10/10