2025: A REVIEW - THE BEST AND WORST FILMS OF THE YEAR

FILMS OF 2025

Welcome to the annual round up of the year in cinema, a chance for you, kind reader, to relive with me the highlights and lows of the 2025 cinematic year. A year although slight on the number of new releases, but not bad in terms of quality. My attendance is down on previous years, where I'd easily see 10 or more films a month, but perhaps I've not been as Gung Ho in my approach, electing on occasion to avoid films I just know are going to be bad, rather than seeing absolutely everything. 

2025 saw the worst monthly box office haul of the 21st Century and the worst box office month since 1997! That month was October and in fact, there was one week in October where 'Hollywood' didn't release a single new movie.  

That said, Ne Zha 2, an animated film from China, did something no other animated film has ever done before, and only six other films in history have ever managed to do, it took over $2 billion at the box office, and I didn't even see it.

It was also the year of the heritage sequels and while the likes of Spinal Tap and Tron Ares crashed and burned, Naked Gun soared, and it was a year that witnessed a once mighty box-office juggernaut franchise, Mission Impossible, finish its eight film run roll with a whimper rather than a spectacular bang. And it was a year that saw the continued slow death of the superhero genre with only six Marvel or DC films released. 

Only two films broke a billion this year, the forementioned Ne Zha 2 and the live action remake of Lilo and Stitch (another film I didn't see).   

And then the year ended with the third Avatar film unleashed upon an indifferent world – a truly unique cultural phenomenon that somehow galvanises staggering box-office takings and yet leaves not a scintilla of cultural wake. So far it has taken over $217 million domestically and over $542 million internationally for a grand total of over $757 million. However, with a budget of $400 that means it still hasn't broken even. 

In total I went to the cinema a grand total of 85 times, of which 25 were re-issues of classic films.

SO without further ado, here we go for the list no one wants or even cares about. 

First up...

TOP TEN OF 2025 

1. ONE BATTLE AFTER ANOTHER 10/10 (FILM OF THE YEAR)
"Overall this is a thrilling and gripping experience that just builds and builds to a coda that just seals the whole film with a satisfying and meaty thunk. And aided by humour as dry as the desert. Damn it, I can't fault it."

2. KILL BILL: THE WHOLE BLOODY AFFAIR 10/10
"I cannot think of a single thing I did not like about this film, it truly was one of those extremely rare cinematic occurrences, a note-perfect, cinematic triumph."

3.THE PHOENICIAN SCHEME 10/10
"Every aspect of this film was a pure delight, from the soundtrack, the style and direction, it's at turns funny, and dramatic and frantic. -- if you're a fan of [Anderson's] wonderful oeuvre then get ready for 109 minutes of pure bliss."

4. THE LIFE OF CHUCK 10/10
"This is an emotional film, beautifully performed by the cast from a witty literate script -- [the] near two hour run time flies by and engages you on a deep emotional level."

5. 28 YEARS LATER 10/10
"By no means is this an easy film, it's filled with nihilism, it's fantastically bleak and deeply savage, and yet it's also deeply engaging and at times moving. Quite simply one of the most unique and powerful films of the year." 

6. ETERNITY 9/10
"This felt like a throw-back to a bygone time, the script never preaches, there's no hidden agenda or messaging trying to piggyback the ride -- It's witty, funny, clever and utterly enjoyable and the running time of 114 minutes flew by. Catch it before it's lost for all eternity." 

7. BLACK BAG 9/10
"So refreshing to see something so satisfyingly adult. Fassbender and Blanchett are exquisite in their roles and give measured and precise performances and a masterclass in acting. Can't really fault this, beyond the complexity of the plot which robbed me of being able to work out who the spy was. But bloody hell I loved it."

8. WEAPONS 9/10
"[A] film like this only works if it nails its landing and it's a delight to report that this does it with absolute precision and you will not be disappointed. I think this was one of the most original and chilling horror films I've seen in a very long time and I bloody loved it!"

9. SINNERS 9/10
"This is a deeply satisfying, energetic and gorgeous looking film and I goddam loved it! Definitely the best horror film I've seen in an absolute age!"

10. BECOMING LED ZEPPELIN 9/10
"I was captivated and sat centre four rows from the front and just lost myself in the music. -- Even if you're not [a fan of the Zeppelin] I'd still say give this a go! It's always fascinating to watch truly creative people working and creating something unique and extraordinary. Plus the music is EXHILARATING!!" 

HONOURABLE MENTION:

11. A COMPLETE UNKNOWN 9/10
"From beginning to end this is Timothée Chalamet's film, his utterly mesmerising performance grabs your complete attention from the first second he appears on screen in the back of car as a hitchhiker to the last as he rides off on his motorbike, 140 minutes later that seem to have flashed by in the blink of an eye."

ALL THE REST:

12. ONE TO ONE: JOHN & YOKO 9/10
13. PREDATOR: BADLANDS 8/10
14. SUPERMAN 8/10
15. FANTASTIC FOUR: FIRST STEPS 8/10
16. MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: FINAL RECKONING 8/10
17. THE HOUSEMAID 8/10
18. PILLION 8/10 
19. COMPANION 8/10  
20. THE ACCOUNTANT 2 
21. FINAL DESTINATION: BLOODLINES 8/10
22. SISU 2: ROAD TO REVENGE 8/10
23. THUNDERBOLTS * 7/10
24. WICKED FOR GOOD 7/10 
25. NUREMBERG 7/10 MICKEY 17 7/10
26. MICKEY 17 7/10 
27. NAKED GUN 7/10 
28. THE RUNNING MAN 7/10 
29. THE ROSES 7/10
30. BRIDGET JONES: MAD ABOUT THE BOY 7/10 
31. F1: THE MOVIE 7/10 
32. DEATH OF A UNICORN 7/
33. CAUGHT STEALING 7/10
34. NOSFERATU 7/10
35. WARFARE 7/10 
36. AVATAR: FIRE AND ASH 6/10 
37. FACKHAM HALL 6/10
38. TRON ARES 6/10 
39. BALLERINA 6/10 
40. THE AMATEUR 6/10
41. THE WORKING MAN 6/10 
42. MONKEY 6/10 
43. M3GAN 2.0 6/10
44. SPINAL TAP II: THE END CONTINUES 6/10

TOP TEN RE-ISSUES:
IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE 10/10
JAWS 10/10
DIE HARD 10/10
GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL 10/10
ALIENS 10/10
TERMINATOR 2 10/10
SEVEN 10/10
MISSION IMPOSSIBLE III 10/10
LORD OF THE RINGS: FOTR, TT, ROTK 10/10
THE BIG LEBOWSKI 10/10
THE SHINING 10/10

OTHER RE-ISSUES SEEN
EBIRAH, HORROR OF THE DEEP 10/10
GODZILLA VS. MEGALON 10/10
FANTASTIC MR. FOX 9/10
LIFE AQUATIC 9/10
GODZILLA VS. BIOLANTE 9/10
JOHN WICK 9/10
DIE HARD 2 8/10
X-MEN 8/10
X-MEN: FIRST CLASS 8/10
GOLDENEYE 8/10
STAR WARS III: REVENGE OF THE SITH 7/10
FINAL DESTINATION 7/10

And now the category you've been waiting for and in time honoured tradition in reverse order of awfulness...

WORST FILMS OF 2025 

How wonderful for Jack Black to have two films out in the same year and category, well done, Jack, that's not an easy feat to achieve. 

DISHONOURABLE MENTION
JURASSIC WORLD: REBIRTH 6/10
"-- there were great bits, and lots of fun to be had, but by the same token there was a lot of stupidity and shit too. Still I didn't loathe with the same bile and hate as the last two of these shit shows, so you know. Winner, winner, almost chicken dinner."

(IN DESCENDING ORDER)

10. THE ALTO KNIGHTS 5/10
"Rather than watch this, go back and watch Goodfellows and Casino back-to-back and have a great evening rather than a thoroughly mediocre one." 

9. CRAPTON AMERICA: BLAND NEW WORLD 5/10
"A film lacking flavour or bite. One that will wash over you like another person's rancid fart, which once sniffed will soon be nothing more than a rather unpleasant, rapidly forgotten memory." 

8. ELLA MCCAY 4/10
"The proof is in the pudding and this eats like a rancid apple pie, sickly sweet and limp, with a damp soggy bottom."

7. ANACONDA 4/10
"This was shit. Poorly written, filled with contrivances to support the plot and characters so one dimensional, they couldn't turn sideways."

6. DR. STRANGELOVE 4/10
"This just feels like a poorly staged church hall performance that seems incredibly dull and boring in comparison to its cinematic originator and manages to be an hour longer than it too. Although, it did make me want to rewatch the film again. So it's not all bad, but I certainly won't be rewatching [this] again."

5. A REAL PAIN 4/10
"How apt to see a film whose title reflects exactly how you felt when you finally walk out of the cinema with your life 91 minutes shorter than it was. It's not all self-indulgent twaddle, The music by Chopin was a delight" 

4. THE BRUTALIST 4/10
"--it's all so ponderous and arrogant, "look everybody! We're all a bunch of serious actors and film makers striving to make something worthy enough to win loads of Oscars and shit. Well, shit off."

3. IN THE LOST LANDS 3/10
"The action in this is shit, the acting is shit, the characters are shit, the look of it is shit, the script is shit, the motivation is shit, the CGI is shit, the soundtrack is shit, the special effects are shit, there wasn't one thing about this that wasn't shit."

2. MINECRAFT 2/10
"It's hideous, it's bland, it's boring. A 7 year old boy with his dad in the toilets afterwards said, and I quote, "That wasn't very good, daddy." He was spot on, although I'd have phrased it somewhat differently."

1. MARCHING POWDER 2/10
"The funniest lines are in the trailer so save yourself by just watching that." 

TOP TEN MOST READ REVIEWS
This part of the yearly round-up has been one of the most fun parts, watching as films rise and fall up the list, reader figures are up on last year, so thanks to all who take time to read my reviews, it means a lot to me. 

The Naked Gun was a clear winner but the battle for silver and gold went to the wire with both films vying battling courageously till the very bitter end.  

1. THE NAKED GUN
2. SUPERMAN
3. CRAPTON AMERICA: BLAND NEW WORLD
4. ONE BATTLE AFTER ANOTHER
5. NOSFERATU
6. A REAL PAIN
7. BALLERINA
8. JURASSIC WORLD: REBIRTH
9. THE PHOENICIAN SCHEME
10. A COMPLETE UNKNOWN

THE LEAST READ 'NEW' FILM REVIEW OF 2025
ELLA MCCAY

#85: THE HOUSEMAID

STARRING: Sydney Sweeney, Amanda Seyfried, Brandon Sklenar, Michele Morrone and Elizabeth Perkins. Writen by Rebecca Sonnenshine. Directed by Paul Feig. Budget $35 million. Running time 131 minutes. 

Right then, eyes down for a full house. Sydney Sweeney is Millie Calloway, a troubled young woman living in her car and desperately trying to make a life for herself after serving 10 years of a 15 year prison sentence, for what -- remains to be seen, although all will be revealed... Amanda Seyfried is Nina Winchester the massively neurotic wife of rugged beefcake Andrew Winchester (Brandon Sklenar) and Elizabeth Perkins is Andrew's mother Evelyn, a deeply sinister matriarch with an unhealthy control over her rugged, beefcake of a son. Oh, and Indiana Elle is Nina's daughter Cece. And together they all live under the roof of a sprawling handsomely appointed town house in the middle of an apparently never ending winter. Well, they will be once Millie accepts the job offer of becoming Nina's live in housemaid of the title. 

At first, Nina couldn't be more wonderful if she tried, but the minute Millie moves in, she changes, transforming into a seriously unhinged maniac with obviously bipolar tendencies, flying off the handle at every slight, verbal abusing Millie in front of friends, neighbours and her daughter, leaving her handsome, rugged and fabulous beefcake husband to pick up the pieces and try to patch things up. But Nina just keeps escalating the abuse, literally driving Millie into the arms of Andrew until they become lovers and that's all I'm giving you, plot wise.

Paul Feig made his name with a series of genuinely funny films which included Bridemaids, The Heat and Spy, then ruined all that good will with all-female remake of The Ghostbusters. In recent years he's moved into the realm of the psychological drama, popularised by the 2014 film, Gone Girl with a Simple Favor and the sequel Another Simple Favour. He's a director who clearly enjoys complex, multi-layered dramas which like to twist his audience up a corpse on a noose. And this one is one of those. 

It's a twisty and very entertaining drama whose outcome is never clear. It's carried effortlessly by Sydney Sweeney who gives the film it's strong emotional core, but it's Amanda Seyfried, however, who has the biggest emotional arc in the film, seriously she's magnetic and you'll find yourself desperately trying to work out what her game plan is, because it soon transpires that all but one of the characters has a game plan.

I was expecting to hate this, but it won me over and I found myself engaged and more importantly entertained by this, plus it's helps massively that Sydney Sweeney is a very game actress and eager to share her bountiful abilities at the drop of a hat, repeatedly. 

Anyway, this was fun, twisty, and rather gripping, plus it nails its landing. So, a good ending to the year. 

8/10 

#84: ANACONDA

STARRING: Paul Rudd, Jack Black, Steve Zahn, Thandiwe Newton, Daiela Melchior and Selton Mello, Ice Cubes and Genital Lopez. Written by Tom Gormican and Kevin Etten, directed by Tom Gormican. Budget $45 million. Running time 99 minutes. 

Paul Rudd is second rate actor Ronald 'Griff' Griffen Jnr living the dream in Hollywood auditioning for pathetic bit parts in a series of TV shows. Meanwhile his childhood friend, Doug McCallister (Jack Black), who never left their home town toils away working as a wedding videographer rather than struggling in Hollywood, then there's Kenny Trent (Steve Zahn) and Claire Simons (Thandiwe Newton) who were also both childhood friends they also failed to live up to their childhood dreams of working in Hollywood. One year at Doug's surprise birthday party, Griff reveals that he has the rights to the film Anaconda and convinces the others to head to the Amazon and film a sequel 'guerilla style', so they raise nine thousand dollars and armed with a mobile phone and an attachment leave their lives behind and sod off to Brazil to make a film. And much hilarity ensues. Meanwhile there's a woman Ana Almeida (Daniela Melchior) who is investigating illegal gold mining in Brazil. The gang get to Brazil, hire a snake handler who has an anaconda and promptly kill it and so have to head off into the jungle to find a replacement. They do. It's massive and starts killing everybody not important to the plot. Then the gang discover that there's another film crew filming a remake of Anaconda with Ice Cube Tray and General Lopez and that Griff never had the rights. And once again much hilarity ensues. Then they discover that Ana isn't all she appears to be and much hilarity ensues. Then while the gang are running through the jungle for some reason or other Doug is eaten alive by the giant Anaconda and much hilarity ensues. Then Doug comes back to life, apparently being eaten alive by a giant anaconda isn't as fatal as some might have thought. Then the gang find the film set of the other film and it's been destroyed by the anaconda and Ice Cube saves them and then there's a big explosion and everything's okay. The gang head home, and no mention is ever made to the death and destruction of the film crew and set of the other Anaconda film, or the murder of an undercover cop, shot by Griff 'accidentally', or the gold smuggler. 

Back home the gang show their finished film to their friends and family and everybody is happy. 

Apart from me. I'm not happy. Indeed, I'm pretty goddam pissed off. I was lied to, I was lead to believe by early reviews and the trailer that this was a funny film, a very meta film and with a cast that included Paul Rudd and Jack Black, I was kinda hoping for something akin to the recent Naked Gun reboot. Well, dear reader, do not be taken in. This was shit. Poorly written, filled with contrivances to support the plot and characters so one dimensional, they couldn't turn sideways.

The humour is piss poor, one very lengthy sequence has Doug, who is believed to be dead, left as a decoy for the Anaconda and draped in the corpse of a dead boar, oh how no one laughed when Doug comes to life with a dead squirrel stuck in his mouth and has to run for his life while he's chased by an anaconda. Don't worry that's not a spoiler, it's in the trailer. Actually all the vaguely amusing stuff is in the trailer, so if you want to have a good time with this film, just watch the trailer, you can then avoid all the crap that's takes up the other 98% of this wretched piece of shit. 

Even Paul Rudd, a comedic actor of some skill can't rescue this lazy, pathetic crap fest. And spare a thought for poor Thandiwe Newton who surely deservers better than this? Jack Black though, he deserves this. He's been in two shit films this year, this and Mein Kraft, actually I think he's only been in two good films in his entire career School of Rock and Mars Attacks. 

It's not just the story, acting that's shit, the action isn't much cop either and the snake despite being really big is hardly in it. And when it is, it's just a big old CGI monster that can come and go whenever it likes and has almost magical abilities to propel the plot along whenever it's needed. 

At one point a character throws a bag of gold nuggets into the river and then leaves five other bags of gold nuggets, what the actual what? That gold would have made them all rich beyond the dreams of Midas. 

It's sad to end the year with this sort of shit, however I'm hoping my next and final film of this year, The House Maid will be good. In the meantime, this snake oil crap gets a 4/10

#83: IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE

Starring James Stewart, Donnna Reed, Lionel Barrymore, Thomas Mitchell, henry Travers, Beulah Bondi, Ward Bond, Frank Faylen and Gloria Grahame. Written by Fracnes Goodrich, Albert Hackett, Frank Capra and Joe Swerling. Directed by Frank Capra. Budget $3.5 million. Running time 131 minutes. Originally released in 1946.

A one word review - Wonderful!

Just wonderful. Beautifully written, great direction and a superb performance by James Stewart. I just love this film. It's one of my five favourite Christmas movies along with A Christmas Story, Scrooge (1951) and Bad Santa and Die Hard.

Produced and directed by Frank Capra, it always amazes me to realise that on its release this film flopped, and only became a Christmas staple when first shown on American TVs in the 50s.

Seeing this restored version of IAWL on the big screen means you get to see things you probably missed if you've only watched it on a TV, count how many rooms the drawing of George lassoing the moon turns up for example, or better yet see if you can spot the newspaper headline declaring that 'Mr. Smith has won a nomination to go to Washington'.

Stewart is simply brilliant as George Bailey, the richest man in town. He portrays Bailey from the age of approximately late teens to late 40s and without the need for elaborate make up. He is the prototype Tom Hanks and it's on his performance that the whole film swings. That's to take nothing away from the supporting cast, lead by the Donna Reed, who all give this film its huge heart and character.

The story sees George Bailey, a man who sacrifices his own dreams and ambitions for the greater good of Bedford Falls, who when, through no fault of his own, faces financial ruin and imprisonment decides to kill himself. He is saved by a trainee angel who grants him his wish of never having been born and discovers just how much his life has touched the lives of so many others. The film takes its time, building its back story, not just of George's, but his fellow Bedford Falls inhabitants. Watching George grow from young boy to manhood is a delight and it makes his subsequent fall that much more emotional. His desperation as he runs through town towards the bridge and his date with destiny is deeply powerful, he at that point is a man who has lost, or so he thinks lost everything. The sequence where he finds out just how many lives he's touched is profoundly moving and never fails to make me well up.

For a film that's nearly 75 years old to be this captivating, this engrossing and this magical is a pure triumph. As a callow art school youth I scoffed at this and Singing in the Rain, believing them to be old and fuddy-duddy, despite the fact I'd never actually watched them. And in both cases I stumbled across them whilst watching tv, I came in half-way through in both cases and was captivated by both and I love them to this day.

This film lifts my spirit and makes me feel deeply moved and I bloody love it without reserve.

The perfect Christmas movie and one of my actual Top Ten Movies of all times.

10/10 

#82: AVATAR: FIRE AND ASH

STARRING: Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldana, Sigourney Weaver, Stephen Lang, Kate Winslet, Jack Champion, Oona Chaplin, Jermaine Clement, Giovanni Ribisi, David Thewlis and Britain Dalton, plus loads more, too many to mention. Screenplay by James Cameron, Rick Jaffa and Amanda Silver, produced by James Cameron and Jon Landau, directed by James Cameron. Budget $400 million. Running time 197 minutes long. 

it's been three years since the last one of these, but Cameron's not giving us a recap, no siree it's straight into action with this one, no messing about. And so begins the third installment of James P.'Sully' Sullivan's adventures on Pandora, a big planet full of giant blue humanoids called the Na'vi in a galaxy far far away, but very much in the future. James used to be human, well he was in the first film. In that he was the twin brother of bloke who died and James was hired to 'drive' his giant blue avatar for a mining corporation run by Giovanni Ribisi who were mining for Unobtainium. In the second film it was the spinal fluid of giant whales and so it is in this one. In the first film Sully lead a revoltion that saw the humans kicked off planet. In the second one the humans came back, bigger, badder and more weaponed up. And in this one they're even more bigger, badder and weaponed up. This time, they ain't taking prisoners or shit off anyone, least of all Sully, his extended family and all the peace and environment loving sea-side people of Panty Doreen. And once again it's Sully mother-fucking useless family of idiotic children who are running the show, mainly by keep getting abducted by Stephen Lang's big blue baddy. So Sully goes off with a bunch of the Na'vi who fly enslaved gas filled sentient balloon, that is until a branch of Na'vis called the MonkeyWang Tribe, lead by a very angry red faced Na'vi played by Oona Chaplin, who kill everybody. Then there's a series of big action set pieces interspersed by Sully's children not doing what they're told so as to endanger themselves and the vast tribe of people, so then Sully has to get himself captured to elicit their rescue before the dastardly humans mount an enormous attack on the big whale things and Sully, and his deeply annoying family rally everyone round for one mother-fucking battle to end all battles. Into that massive plot boiling pot add the relationship between Spider - the human kid living with the Na' vi and his dad played Stephen Lang, then there's Sigourney Weaver's clone Na' vi to deal with, oh and the slow deterioration of Sully and his wife's marriage, her almost uncontrollable racism aimed at Spider and humans. Look there's lots of secondary guff to deal with ontop of all the action, and shit. There's also a fantastic rescue mission that ranks right up there with Return of the Jedi in its staggering stupid complexity, when three completely separate parties all simultaneously attempt to rescue Sully on the eve of his public execution. And Cameron, so enamoured with this idea does the exact same thing later on when three completely separate parties all simultaneously attempt to rescue another character in a rapidly sinking battleship (something the keen eyed among you might remember from the last Avatar outing). Actually there's quite a lot of call backs to the last film in terms of plot points and motivations.

Anyway, the story is pretty dreary to be honest, it's stupid and only works because it requires stupid people to do stupid things to make the whole stupid plot work. And yet at its core there are some very interesting dynamics taking place, mostly involving Stephen Lang and his estranged son, which sadly never get completely or satisfactorily explored. Oona Chaplins villainess character is the MVP in this whole bloated affair, giving us a truly red-blooded villain to root for, and boy did I root for her. I might be alone but I really wanted her to win. I'm frankly sick to death with Sully and his whole sodding family, a bunch of whiney bitches to a T, that is when they're not moping around endangering everyone with their stupid decisions. 

I was also struck by just how callous the Na'vi are to their enslaved animal livestock, several times those glorious winged creatures are just left to die, you know those creatures the Na'vi mindmeld with through their hideous rat-tails. it seems that once they're of no more use the Na'vi are quite content to leave them to die pierced by multiple arrows. There's also a bewildering sequence where a poor floating creature, which is harnessed to a rapidly burning sentient balloon is left to die horribly, rather than be rescued by one of the Sully's children.

Anyway, as with the previous films the plot and story is lamentable, too much reliance of co-incidence and idiotic behaviour, but the visuals are another matter all together. Frankly the sheer visual excellence of this cannot be over stressed, it is truly breathtaking that this whole world(s) exist only in a computer and built with pixels. But the trouble is, third time round and the wonder and awe are such a given that you forget. Also, give the 3D a miss, fucking waste of time. Just watch it in 2D on the biggest screen you can. Also, as wonderful as these effects are, they don'e dazzle and amaze as they had done, it just seems par for the course now. 

Can't say I hated this, can't say I loved it. Once again I was awed by the sheer spectacle and somewhat bored by the story. The final battle is incredible but the lack of a satisfying conclusion was deeply annoying. Three characters disappear completely and the question of the humans remains utterly unanswered. I was kinda hoping this would be the end of the three film saga and that the rumoured 4th and 5th parts might be something new, but no, I'm guessing we're going to have to conclude this one properly. 

Visually a masterpiece worthy of a 10/10, but plot and story warrant only a paltry 3 giving this an aggregate score of 6/10  

 

#81: ELLA MCCAY

 

STARRING: Emma Mackey, Jamie Lee Curtis Jack Lowden, Kumail Nanjiani, Ayo Edebiri, Spike Fearn, Julie Kavner, Rebecca Hall, Woody Harrelson and James L. Brooks. Produced, written and directed by James L. Brooks, theme tune sung by James L. Brooks. Budget $35 million. Running time 115 minutes. 

So each minute of this film cost $304,347 and 83 cents to make. If I were the backers I'd be asking for an itemised receipt. 

It's 2008 and 34-year old Ella McCay (Emma Mackey) a fiesty, enthusiastic, sharp as a tack, bright as a spark lieutenant governor of an unnamed state somewhere in those wonderful United States of America, and of no particular political affiliation,  one day becomes acting Governor when her boss, Governor Bill Moore (Albert L. Brooks) gets promoted to the White House Cabinet and resigns. He warns her that she has just 14 months until the election and to make the most of it. Ella, it turns out, is a dreamer and amazingly has a dream of passing a wonderful bill aimed at mothers and babies and the film charts her spectacular three-day rise and fall. Along the way we flashback to the break up of her parents (Rebecca Hall and Woody Harrelson), meet her surrogate mother and actual aunt, Hellen (Jamie Lee Curtis), her feckless husband Ryan Newell (Jack Lowden), her acrophobic and on the spectrum brother, Casey (Spike Fearn) and her octogenarian personal secretary Estelle (Julie Kavner).

This is one of those films where every man, be it Ella's father, brother, husband or boss are if not total shits, then very close to the edge shits, with only her ex-boss (James L. Brooks) showing even the vaguest of hints of being a decent person. 

With a great cast and hmm, great locations, and a not half bad premise this certainly on paper seemed like a good bet, but the proof is in the pudding and this eats like a rancid apple pie, sickly sweet and limp, with a damp soggy bottom. The problem is there's too much happening and no time is spent getting to know Ella before another middling disaster rears its ugly head, we're told she's liked but hated because she cares too much and her speeches are too long. She's dealing with a father whose extramarital activities ultimately lead to the death of her mother and estranged them, her brother is a shut-in with enough emotional baggage to sink a ship, and her husband, who at first seems like a loyal and supportive kinda of a chap soon turns out to be the absolute worst and the main villain of the piece, as he tries to secure power for himself off his wife's relentless work, and if that means lying, cheating and framing her, so much the better. It's no wonder Ella's aunt warned her he was a ticking timebomb.  

There's just so much going on here that you can never really get a handle on it, it moves like Dominic Toretto and its sickly sweet core begins to grate well before the ending finally skids into view. It's the sort of film that if made in the 1940s and starring Donna Reed, or Betty Davis would have been a charming, scatty screwball comedy, but in the hands of the usually dependable James L. Brooks, is reduced to a rather boring and instantly forgettable romcom without any rom and defo no com. 

Hats off to Jamie Lee Curtis, who delivers a solid performance and a sad pat on the back to Woody Harrelson who is soundly missused in this. The trailer made this out to be a witty, funny comedy about complicated lives. But in the end it's already, blissfully, slipping from my memory. 

4/10    

#80: THE SHINING

                    

STARRING: Jack Nicholson, Shelley Duvall, Danny Lloyd, Scatman Crothers, Barry Nelson, Joe Turkel, Philip Stone and Lisa & Louise Burns. Screenplay by Stanley Kubrick and Diane Johnson. Cinematography John Alcott, music by Wendy Carlos and Rachel Elkind. Directed by Stanley Kubrick. Budget $19 million. Running time 143 minutes. Originally released in October 1980.

A wannabe writer, Jack Torrance (Jack Nicholson) accepts a five-month job as the out-of-season winter caretaker of the Overlook Hotel situated deep in mountains of Colorado. There he takes his wife Wendy (Shelley Duvall) and their son Danny 'Doc' (Danny Lloyd), Jack's looking forward to working on his great American novel (once he can think of something to write about), Wendy's looking to spend quality time with her family and trying to keep her husband's barely concealed rage in check, and little Danny just wants to eat P&J white-bread-sandwiches, watch cartoons and play with his firetruck. The last thing he wants is to be chased round a giant hotel by an axe-weilding maniac who just so happens to be his dad. However, shit gets real when they become snowbound and Jack promptly goes mad. Whether it's the isolation, the hotel's ghostly inhabitants, or his deeply annoying family who drive him there is anyone's guess, although my money's on wife and kid, no one wants that sort of emotional anchor when you're trying to be creative. They just drag you down!

This marks the film's 45th anniversary, although time has not dulled it one iota, it still looks mostly as fresh today as it did back then, only the costumes looks a tad outta wack.

This one surely polarises people who've seen it, me I fucking love it. Frankly it's one of the most unsettling and uncomfortable films I've ever seen, and god knows I've seen it a lot. This time round it's the full-length version, all 143 minutes, which I've only ever seen on Blu Ray. So it's sudden arrival at my Cineworld made for the best pre-Christmas gift E-VER!

There's been a lot written about this film, about its deeper hidden meaning, it's social interpretations and the such and it's staggering just how much utter guff has been written about it, from theories claiming it an 'allegory of American imperialism.' that it addresses 'topics of toxic masculinity, sexism, corporate America and racism', some read it as an 'Oedipal struggle not just between generations but between Jack's culture of the written word and Danny's culture of images' while other talk about it being a 'metaphor for the genocide of Native Americans', or that it contains a subtext about the holocaust. None of this is true, those elements people claim were always there, but just not labeled, Jack is clearly a wife abuser and we know he physically abused his son, but that doesn't make this film a study of toxic masculinity or sexism, it's just who Jack is. 

I once went to a Fortean Times Convention back in the 1990s and remember a talk by a small group of people who had tracked a hidden network of leylines between standing stones that crisscrossed the United Kingdom and I realised that if you want to find evidence of something you believe in you will. The Shining is the perfect example of that, because it allows every crackpot out there to 'discover' the truth or hidden agenda in the film, and it does that by being extraordinary empty to such an extent that people need to fill the voids. Kubrick isn't interested in all that, he set out to make the best horror film ever made and he did. In the same way he set out to make the best science fiction film of all times in 2001: A Space Odyssey. In The Shining it's clear that he sat down and deconstructed the horror film, learning all it's tropes and tricks, then threw them out and started from scratch. And in doing so he made one of the scariest films of all times. It's a film that's lost none of its power. 

He focused on a small group of characters trapped in a single location, a classic horror trope, and in the Overlook hotel Kubrick created not only a location that seems alive. Those miles of corridor, the cavernous ballrooms, the blood red bathrooms, the tapestries, the carpets, the rugs, the bizarre geometry the Overlook feels and looks so alive you'd want to visit in the real life. 

Added to that is the otherworldliness of the story, is Jack bedevilled by supernatural powers or by mental breakdown? I believe it's the former, although the later is needed for it to work. And that last slow shot into the photo of the 1921 Independence party with Jack front and centre, which some theories claim means that Jack is original Grady, once again I don't, all I think it means is that Jack has now become apart of the Overlook, lost in some distant past awaiting his opportunity to serve his master.

To add more tension, he had a music landscape created by Wendy Carlos that is deeply unsettling, it just helps to up the tension and the paranoia, the whole film is designed to get under your skin, the sharp sound effects, the roar of the Danny's bike's wheels across rug and floor, the silence of the slumbering hotel, coupled with unsettling flashes of the supernatural, the wall of blood the haunting "Hello Danny, come and play with us." all it helps to build an overwhelming sense of jeopardy and impending disaster. And at its centre Jack Nicholson's Jack Torrance. Watching him come apart at the seams is a masterclass in acting and I don't think Nicholson has ever been more handsome or more terrifying. 

As to the film's true meaning, that's simple.

It's a film about writer's block. Jack is one of those wannabe writers, he'll tell anyone he meets he's an 'author', it's probably what bagged him Wendy back in the first place. But truth is, he's not a writer he just dreams of being one. His home in Boulder is strewn with thin paper backs, westerns, and the kind scattered randomly around the apartment, but the thing is these aren't the books of a true writer, just a failed one or a wannabe. One who spends more time telling everyone who'll listen that he's a writer, that he's just waiting for the right time to write, and so when the Overlook job comes up he deludes himself into thinking this is the answer to his prayers, the perfect opportunity to write and off he goes. Trouble is once he's there he has no more excuses as to why he's not writing. Wendy asks him how's it going and he says he's been thinking about a couple of ideas but nothing working just yet. Once again, bullshit! He's run out of excuses as to why he's not writing. Truth is he can't, he was never a writer, he was someone who loved the idea of it, but not the hard work. When he's sat at that goddam typewriter with the blank sheet of paper he's utterly lost and to keep his wife off the scent he starts typing, probably as a joke at first, "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." In his head, he's doing this until the 'story' arrives, trouble is it never will. And finally when his deceit is discovered he lashes out at his family blaming them for his inability. And that's my take on The Shining. All that other stuff about ghosts and spirits, that's just all his rejected ideas that he couldn't make work.

Anyway, enough guff. the score as if you needed telling is without a doubt.

10/10

#79 FACKHAM HALL

 

STARRING: Thomasin McKenzie, Ben Radcliffe, Katherine Waterston, Emma Laird, Tom Goodman-Hill, Anna Maxwell Martin, Sue Johnston, Tom Felton and Damian Lewis. Written by Steve Dawson, Andrew Dawson, Tim Inman, Jimmy Carr and Patrick Carr. Directed by Jim O'Hanlon. Running time 97 minutes.

It's all happening at Fackham Hall, the inbred toffs upstairs are dimmer than 40 watt lightbulbs, the staff downstairs aren't that much better. There's stupid gags aplenty and an endless stream of sight gags, the jokes, japes and puns that come thicker than custard and at such a rate that if one doesn't land, then don't worry there'll be another along in the minute. 

One thing's for certain, it's not big, it's not clever and it most certainly isn't sophisticated. Parodying Downtown Abby, Bridesend Revisited, Upstairs, Downstairs and the Forthsyth Saga this is a silly enough romp. It made me laugh, along with my daughter and wife, but not so my Woke Princess son who sat stony faced throughout it all, head in hand, boy was he not impressed. He starred at me at the conclusion of the film with a look akin to deep and unhappy  disappointment. This sort of humor is most certainly not for whatever generation those born in 2003 are. But for those amongst you who like the comedy stylings of Jimmy Carr then be prepared to have an amusing night out. 

6/10

#78: DIE HARD

Starring Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman, Bonnie Bedelia. Written by Jeb Stuart and Steven E. de Souza. Directed by John McTiernan. Budget $35 million. Running time 132 minutes. Originally released in 1988.

New York cop, John McClane (Bruce Willis) arrives in Los Angeles on the literal eve of Christmas to spend the holidays with his estranged wife, Holly (Bonne Bedelia) and young family. Chauffeured to the Nakatomi building, McClane arrives in the middle of a joint Christmas/business celebration only to become right man in the wrong place and time when an army of highly deadly and well equipped Euro-trash terrorists, lead by Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman) hi-jack the office Christmas Party as a cover for stealing 600 million dollars worth of bearer bonds, not realising that one of the guests is actually a NYPD cop...

What follows is a masterclass in action cinema, and quite frankly one of the best action films ever filmed, it's certainly in my top ten all time favourite films.

It's the film that made and established Bruce Willis, introduced the world to Alan Rickman and cemented John McTiernan as one of the best action directors. it also changed the shape of action films and created a template that's still in use to this day. The imagined conversation in Hollywood about pitching a film to a producer, "so, what's it about?' And the writer firing back, "It's Die Hard on a boat!". It's become a part of the cinematic lexicon.

I've always loved this movie, and last saw it on the big screen back in 2023, oddly enough I saw it back then with It's a Wonderful Life, which is the next film I saw. Seeing 'it', Die Hard on the big screen again is always a delightful experience, films need to be seen on the big screen, where you lose yourself in the experience in a way you don't at home. You seen things you miss on a small screen. Willis cared back then and it shows, Rickman is simply superb in his breakout role as the leader of the gang of ex-terrorists, Hans Gruber and the movie gave Robert Davi a brief golden period in his career, leading to the role of the villain, Franz Sanchez, in the Bond film Licence to Kill.

This is a glorious action film that has no need for shaky cam or frenzied editing to convey drama, it's got an endlessly quotable script and it's well plotted and has no flabby centre, the way it sets up the scenario and introduces the villains is a masterclass in plotting. That coupled with good practical effects, some nifty compositing and a 15 cert for bloody violence, plus bare breasts makes it one of my top ten favourite films!

10/10 Quiz time. 1. How many 'terrorists' survive the attack? 2. Several other action actors and characters are referenced by John McClane, how many and who? 3. What day does 'Die Hard' take place on? 4. How many years has McClane been a NYPD cop?

#77: ETERNITY

STARRING by Miles Teller, Elizabeth Olsen, Callum Turner, John Early, Olga Merediz and Da'Vine Joy Randolph. Written by Pat Cunnane and David Freyne. Directed by David Freyne. Budget $8 million.  Running time 114 mintues.

80-something couple Joan Cutler (Betty Buckley) and her husband of 63years are attending a gender reveal party when Larry Cutler (Barry Primus) chokes to death on a pretzel and wakes up as Miles Teller in the afterlife. There he's asked to choose which eternity he'd like to have and the choice is limitless, Broland, Winecountry, or even Beachworld to name a few, but instead and much to the chargin of his Afterlife Coordinator, Anna (Da'Vine Joy Randolph) Larry refuses to choose announcing he's going to wait for his wife, Joan (Elizabeth Olsen) to arrive. Luckily a week later she passes away too and they're reunited. And then Joan's first husband, Luke (Callum Turner) a Naval pilot who died in the Korean war walks up, it turns out that he too has been waiting for 67 years for her to arrive and Joan finds herself in an impossible dilemma, which man will she choose to spend eternity with, or does she wish to go it alone? However there is a fly in the ointment. Once an Eternity has been choosen, you can never leave it, if you do you'll be hunted down like Logan's Run and exiled into the void. SO, choose wisely...

And that's the plot. What follows is an utterly glorious and wonderful romantic comedy that will have you laughing and crying in equal measure, it feels like a classic Hollywood Screwball Comedy, or those comedies that used to star Doris Day and Rock Hudson. The script is witty, and funny, fast paced and romantic, it explores not just the relationship between Joan and her two husbands, but also the growing relationship between the two husbands and also the relationship between the two Afterlife Coordinators assigned to cases, Anna and Ryan (John Early). Added to the mix is Karen (Olga Merediz) the life-long friend of Joan who knew both men. 

The production design is superb, the portrayal of the afterlife, seen as a infinity-sized railway arrival hall sat side-by-side with to a huge trade convention offering afterlife opportunities, is great and packed full of wonderful sight gags. The tone is upbeat and light but that never drowns the emotional core. This is a film that explores love and relationships and it's a real treat. But this isn't all fluff, there's a visit to the memory archive, where people can relive their lives, that offers a sombre note to the proceedings. 

This felt like a throw-back to a bygone time, the script never preaches, there's no hidden agenda or messaging trying to piggyback the ride, just the story of a woman trying to choose which husband to spend an eternity with. It's witty, funny, clever and utterly enjoyable and the running time of 114 minutes flew by. Catch it before it's lost for all eternity. 

9/10

I have this theory that Hollywood like to replace old movie stars with new, Brad Pitt was the new Robert Redford, Arnie was Victor Mature, Mel Gibson the new Rod Taylor and after this I can announce that Miles Teller is the new Rock Hudson.

#76: KILL BILL THE WHOLE BLOODY AFFAIR

 

STARRING: Uma Thurman, Lucy Liu, Vivica A. Fox, Daryl Hannah, Michael Madsen, Sonny Chiba, Julie Dreyfus, Chiaki Kuriyama, Gordon Liu, Michael Parks and David Carradine. Written and directed by Quentin Tarantino. Budget $60 million. Running time 275 minutes, or four and a half hours.

Heavily pregnant assassin and the 'most dangerous woman in the world' Beatrix 'The Bride' Kiddo aka Black Mamba (Uma Thurman) is beaten half-to-death, shot in the head and left for dead during her wedding dress rehearsal by members of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad (of which she was a member) and her mentor and lover the eponymous Bill (David Carradine). Four years later she awakens from a coma to find herself robbed of the child she was carrying and embarks on a bloody trail of revenge against the two men and four women who tried to kill her. The film told in chapters and chronologically out of order charts her battles against O-Ren Ishii- Cottonmouth (Lucy Liu), Vernita Green - Copperhead (Vicica A. Fox), Ellie Driver - California Mountain Snake (Daryl Hannah) and Budd - Sidwinder (Michael Madsen) until the final showdown with Bill himself. 

What follows is 275 minutes of pure cinematic genius, a glorious movie, one that now presented as a whole and not as two films released a year apart is a note perfect triumph, made by one of the last great auteurs of the cinema, Quentin Tarantino.

Originally released back in 2003 for Kill Bill films and 2004 for the second part, it's only now as a whole that Tarantino's vision can be experienced as he truly intended and what an astonishing visual feast it is! Seeing both together elevates both films to something close to perfection. The original Kill Bill was hailed by all, while the second film felt flat in comparison. Seen now as a whole,  slightly tweaked, with added sequences, an extended anime interlude and the original 'cliffhanger' removed, the journey of The Bride becomes an utterly absorbing experience, and the 275 minutes seemed to fly by, I found myself grinning for the entire running time, sucked in completely and fully engaged, to see this write large, in 35mm up on the big screen helped to complete the illusion. The music, handpicked by Tarantino fits perfectly, the acting peerless, David Carradine was never better, likewise Michael Parks playing two roles was sublime, as was Michael Madsen, not to mention either Thurman, Hannah or Liu, all of whom were superb! The look and cinematography gave this film its own unique and almost tactile feel. the cinematography by Robert Richardson has to take a special mention too, the colours, so rich and sumptuous. And whereas the original Kill Bill 2 seemed a tad wordy and talky, here as a whole the two halves compliment each other and help to create one of the greatest films of this century, so far. The script by Tarantino is filled with quote-worthy lines and some truly beautifully written scenes. He really was never better than with this and whereas i still really enjoy his films, this is the one I love beyond measure. The action so expertly shot and now presented in all its uncut gory glory is astounding. No need for shaky cam or frantic editing, here everything is in shot and choreographed by a stunt team of utter legends. GODDAM IT! I have to stop, I have nothing bad about this film! 

There are some people who do not like Tarantino the man, or his works who will call Kill Bill ploddy and boring, or all style over content, but to those people I will say that not only are you wrong, but your opinion is also utterly without merit and completely wrong. We should count ourselves lucky to live in a world where Tarantino can create unique, original works that confound our expectations.

Drop everything and go and see this on the big screen as soon as you can. I cannot think of a single thing I did not like about the film, it truly was one of those extremely rare cinematic occurrences, a note-perfect, cinematic triumph that will go down in history as one of the best films of all-times. 

A total stone-cold 10/10.

#75: PILLION

STARRING Harry Melling, Alexander Skarsgård, Douglas Hodge, Lesley Sharp, Jake Shears and Anthony Welsh. Written and directed by Harry Lighton, based on the book Box Hill by Adam Mars-Jones. Running time 107.

Harry Melling is Colin, a young, lonely, gay traffic warden still living at home with his terminally-ill mum, Peggy (Lesley Sharp) and his dad, Pete (Douglas Hodge). He spends his days being verbally abused by irate motorists and his evenings enduring cringe-worthy first-dates with any gay man, Colin's mum can find in her social group. That is when he's not singing, with his brother, in their father's barber's shop quartet. Then one night Ray (Alexander Skarsgård), dressed in skin-tight bike leathers, strides into his life and Colin's life is turned upside down. Before you can say, 'Can I get you a drink?' Colin's on his knees in a grotty alleyway fellating Ray and licking his boots. The next day he's a fully signed up member of the BDSM community, living alongside Ray's dog, Rosie, in Ray's spartan home, cooking, cleaning, getting his head shaved, sleeping on the floor of Ray's bedroom and being Ray's sex toy, whenever the urge grips him, and Colin couldn't be happier in his submissive role. It's a role Colin seems to have been born to play, and he soon finds himself deeply immersed in a gay biker gang BDSM club that Ray rides with. As time passes, Colin begins to feel the need for something more emotional, a non-sexual connection, maybe the chance to sleep in Ray's bed at night, or just be hugged occasionally rather than flung around like a rag doll in a bout of BDSM wrestling.  

Ray is stoic, silent and utterly mesmerising and beyond being fantastically sexual, we learn absolutely nothing about him, his past, his job, his aspirations, in fact he barely speaks. He spends his nights reading, and ordering Colin to perform anything he desires, all we learn of him is that tattooed in the middle of his chest are three names, all female and that the only living thing Ray seems to have any true affection for is his Rottweiler.

The wonderful thing about this film is that Colin's homosexuality is utterly accepted by everyone in his sphere, his co-workers, his brother and his parents, they don't care if their son is gay, it's never an issue and it's just accepted and it was quite refreshing. It's also incredibly rare to see gay sex in a mainstream movie, it's even rarer to watch two men dressed in skin-tight lycra, wrestling  on a mat before engaging in full-on sex, which to the un-initiated would seem to more akin to rape that than consenting, so welcome to the world of BDSM.

This was a fascinating cinematic experience, at times this is incredibly uncomfortable to watch, the sex seems so aggressive, so outside anything I'm used to that it's awkward to watch, but yet Colin is such an eager and willing participant to the sex that you no option but accept it as the norm. Colin wants it and boy does he get it, but what he also wants is an emotional connection, especially once his mother dies, and that's when problems begin to rise in their relationship. He asks Ray for a day where they just do normal couple things, and to share his Ray's bed, and maybe cuddle or just kiss and it's the highlight of the film. 

The performances from the two leads is mesmerising, although Harry Melling's face is a tough watch, Luckily Alexander Skarsgård isn't. Good performances, well shot and with a strong soundtrack. I might have had issues with this particular type of sex, but not with the film itself or the story at its core.

8/10

#74: NUREMBERG

 

STARRING: Russell Crowe, Rami Malek, Michael Shannon, Richard E. Grant, Leo Woodall, John Slattery, Mark O'Brien, Colin Hanks, Wrenn Schmidt and Lydia Peckham. Written and directed by James Vanderbilt. Running time 148 minutes.

Welcome to Oscar bait season. 

Based on the book, The Nazi and the Psychiatrist. The film chronicles the efforts of U.S. Army psychiatrist, Douglas Kelley (Rami Malek) to psychoanalysis and keep safe Hermann Göring (Russell Crowe) and 10 other high-ranking members of the Nazi party long enough so they can stand trial for war crimes in Nuremberg. 

The film is earnestly and seriously made and the actors, all save one, do a damn fine job, Crowe eats the cast for dinner, hence his enormous girth and give the film its true menace and power. the film starts by following Michael Shannon's Robert H. Jackson as he fights to have the War Crimes Trials set up in the first place, and then later in the third act as the leader of the prosecution, and his work with Sir David Maxwell Fyfe (Richard E. Grant) to land a conviction against Göring. The second and main thread follows Rami Malek's Douglas Kelley as he interviews Göring and the other Nazis, and his relationship with his German-born Jewish American translator and US Army solider Sgt Howie Triest (Leo Woodall). And finally in the final act the court case itself.  

This is an earnest and deeply sincere work whose only fly in the ointment is the dashing Hollywood star who's as wooden as he is stiff, Rami Malek who stands out like a massive sore thumb. While the rest of the cast easily breeze through their roles, Malik screams "LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT MY CRAFT! GOD, I'M A GREAT ACTOR!" He spends most of the time posing in doorways, or smoking, or turning around to deliver lines facing us, or dressed in a T-shirt, which feels so anachronistic for the time. He's all twitches, pouts and teeth and never feels comfortable in the role, while in complete contrast Russell Crowe just fucking smashes it like a gladiator. 

The film's course sees the preparations of the trial and Kelley's numerous interviews with Göring, then cuts to Kelley racing off for lunch with Göring's wife and daughter before racing back for more interviews, before the classic third act drama of him being dismissed from the military and sent home, but staying long enough to deliver the evidence that will convict Göring, and everyone stands and nod their approval of him. 

The trial is the most profound element of the film and the use of the actual footage from the Nazi death camps that were shown at the trial still have the unbelievable power to shock, even today.

The film has an unhurried, thoughtful and powerful feel which makes you realise how if left unchecked certain current world leaders aren't a million miles away for the horrors of Hitler and his despicable ilk.

7/10

#73: WICKED FOR GOOD

 

                                                 

STARRING: Cynthia Erivo, Ariana Grande-Butera, Jonathan Bailey, Ethan Slater, Michelle Yeoh, Jeff Goldblum. Screenplay by Winnie Holzman and Dana Fox, based on Wicked by Stephen Schwartz and the 'book' Wicked by Winnie Holzman. Directed by Jon M. Chu. Budget $150 million. Running time 137 minutes.

11 months have passed since Wicked first sung and danced its way into the collective subconscious of the world through the medium of cinema. 11 months since I gave up 160 minutes of my life to listen to one continuous song and I've not seen it since. I remember hating it with a passion until the characters got on the emerald train and travelled to the Emerald City, which is when I finally engaged with the film and where it  finally came alive. But that bit set in that hateful school filled with a bingo card of memes and stereotypes just baked my biscuits and left me seething with a deep, unending loathing for all those hideous emotionally stunted and oppressively needy twats.

Anyway, 11 months has passed, all memory erased and so I went back with my daughter, whom I saw the first with, to experience this - the second and concluding chapter.  The story set after the events of the first film sees Elphaba Thropp aka THe Wicked Witch of the West (Cynthia Erivo) waging her absolutely useless and pointless war on behalf of animal rights, meanwhile her best buddy Glinda Upland, aka Glinda the Good (Ariana Grande-latte) flies around in her big pink bubble spreading good cheer. While back in the Emerald City the Wizard of Oz (Jeff Goldblum) and Madam Morrible (Michelle Yeoh) sort of do things, like imprison the magical animals, build the yellow brick road and ban the Munchins from travelling. leaving the remaining talking animals to escape Oz for an unknown realm. Then there's Winkie prince, Fiyero Tigelaar (Jonathan Bailey) who secretly pines for Thropp but pretends to love Glinda, while Thropp's paraplegic sister Nessarose Thropp (Marissa Bode) governs Munchkinland and believes her assistant, Bog Woodsman (Ethan Slater) loves her, while he only has eyes for Glinda. Anyway, Madame Borrible gets Fiyero to ask Galinda to marry him and everyone gets ready for the big day. Meanwhile Elphaba tries to get the rest of Oz to realise the Wizard is up to no good, but he's convinced everyone that she's the one up to no good. Then Galinda convinces her that the Wizard is good and for about thirty seconds, the three agree to team up and make Oz a better place, but then the Wizard reveals he's up to no good and Elphaba gate-crashes the wedding and all hell breaks loose. Then a tornado turns up, from the original film and does what it does sending Dorothy off on an adventure and Galinda, Elphaba, Woodsman and Fiyero are forced to do something to save the day. 

Look, there's a lot going on and it's hard to sumarise the whole film in a concise manor. But the end result is there's a lot of talking, a lot of songs and a lot of emotions flying round. 

Overall I'm surprised to say I quite enjoyed this, it's mercifully shorter than the first film by 30 minutes, the production values are outstanding - the attention to detail in the costumes and the art direction are excellent. The performances, particularly from the two leads is great, including their singing. Indeed everything except for the story is utterly top notch, it's only because this film lacks any bite and the story is very floopy robs this from being a rip-roaring success. There are many questions left unanswered and to much of this is just toothless and far too gentle for the likes of me. The Wicked Witch of the West spends a considerable amount of screen time moping about the forest and committing half-arsed acts of sedition before running away following harsh words. Madam Torrible is revealled to be almost utterly powerless and despite showing some serious magical chops in the first film here is only able to sum up one tornado, and the Wizard (Goldblum) who shines isn't given enough to do and sort of drifts away from the story. 

Not remotely hateful and rather enjoyable. I didn't leave the cinema wishing everyone involved a horrible and painful death, so you know, winner, winner chicken dinner.

8/10 for the production values but only 6/10 for the lacklustre script for a final score of 7/10.