STARRING: Dwayne Johnson, Chris Evans, Lucy Liu and J.K. Simmons. Written in its' loosest terms by Chris Morgan from a story by Hiram Garcia. Directed by jake Kasdan. Budget $200-250 million. Running time 123 minutes.
There's a game we play at work where you have to guess a film by which superheroes were in it. So, for example if you were to say Red One you'd go, "I'm trying to remember a film, it's got Black Adam, Captain America, Sabrina the Witch and Dr. Watson in it." And people would go, "please can you just get on with your work."
I've seen two Christmas films this week, this and It's a Wonderful Life. Can you guess which of those will still be remembered in 20 years as a stone-cold Christmas classic and which one won't?
Red One is a terribly dull and boring action adventure romp so generic that its plot was shop-bought and everyone involved seems to be reading their lines off of cue-cards just off camera, all the characters are paper thin tropes and the actual story is so convoluted and dreary it's really not worth synopsising. But if you must. Santa gets kidnapped and it's up to Dwayne Johnson's Elf to team up with a man who hates Christmas Chris Evans to battle a wicked witch, Gryla, played by Kiernan Shipka. She wants to punish all those people on the naughty list. That's about it. At two hours it's a good two hours too long and has nothing to recommend it. Dull and bland. Save two hours of your life and watch something altogether infinitely better, like It's a Wonderful Life, unquestionably the best Christmas movie ever made.
I've seen two Christmas films this week, this and It's a Wonderful Life. Can you guess which of those will still be remembered in 20 years as a stone-cold Christmas classic and which one won't?
Red One is a terribly dull and boring action adventure romp so generic that its plot was shop-bought and everyone involved seems to be reading their lines off of cue-cards just off camera, all the characters are paper thin tropes and the actual story is so convoluted and dreary it's really not worth synopsising. But if you must. Santa gets kidnapped and it's up to Dwayne Johnson's Elf to team up with a man who hates Christmas Chris Evans to battle a wicked witch, Gryla, played by Kiernan Shipka. She wants to punish all those people on the naughty list. That's about it. At two hours it's a good two hours too long and has nothing to recommend it. Dull and bland. Save two hours of your life and watch something altogether infinitely better, like It's a Wonderful Life, unquestionably the best Christmas movie ever made.
This on the other hand is one of the worst, right down there with Violent Night.
All that said, the slapping sequence with Krampus is funny, hence the score, but that's it really.
4/10
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