#82: CASINO

 

STARRING: Robert DeNiro, Sharon Stone, Joe Pesci, Don Rickles, Kein Pollak, James Wood. Screenplay by Nicholas Pileggi and Martin Scorsese. Based on the book Casino: Love and Honor in Las Vegas by Nicholas Pileggi. Cinematography by Robert Richardson. Edited by Thelma Schoonmaker. Directed by Martin Scorsese. Budget $50 million. Running time 178 minutes long. Originally released in 1995.

If Goodfellas is the blue collar world of organised film, then this, is the sequin encrusted jumpsuit of crime. Set in 1973 and exclusively in Las Vegas, it follows the rise of Sam 'Ace' Rothstein (Robert DeNiro) who's sent by the Chicago Mafia to run the Tangiers Casino, trouble is he's bringing a shit ton of emotional and psychotic luggage with him that's going to make his job a lot harder. 

I originally hated this when it first came out, it felt like an unnecessary sequel to Goodfellas, I couldn't see what was different about it, but over time and repeated viewings it's warmed on me, sure it's far more brutal than GF, it's longer, it's more intense and it feels far more real, there's a sense of excitement about GF, you kinda want the three leads to maybe get away with it. But here, it feels far more real and close. Watching Sam and Ginger's marriage collapse is difficult to watch, the rage and anger unleashed makes you feel like an accidental witness. Similarly, Joe Pesci's Nicky is so unhinged so dangerous you feel no warmth for him, no connection and his final demise is so vicious, so violent and yet you're glad he's dead, there's a sense of relief that washes over you. 

The three main actors are at the top of their game in this, Joe Pesci is truly unhinged and scary, you really feel he is capable of anything. DeNiro seems to inhabit the role of Sam and gives him a sheen vulnerability that feels real, despite the fact you feel he's only a fraction away from lashing out, but is too scared too.  And then there's Sharon Stone  as Sam's wife, Ginger McKenna who has never been better, her raw power, or dependency on her boyfriend/pimp, James Wood feels horribly real. All three bring such a sense of realism to their roles that film feels at times more like a fly-on-the wall documentary.

It's still got all that wonderful Scorsese DNA, the use of popular music as a soundtrack, the extraordinary editing skills of Thelma Schoonmaker and the cinematography is gorgeous. But it's not as good as Goodfellas, it's perhaps a little too long and it's just too raw.

For a film that runs two minutes shy of three hours, it flies by in a blurr. I was engrossed from the moment it started 'till it's explosive ending. This short run of Scorsese films at my local Cineworld has been an utter delight and I thank them for sharing some true stone-cold classics like this. 

An absolute cinematic treat. But it doesn't quite reach the greatness of Goodfellas.

9/10

#81: ONE NIGHT ONLY

 

STARRING: Monica Barbaro and Callum Turner. Also featuring Maya Hawke, Molly Ringwald and LeVar Burton. Written by Travis Braun. Directed by Will Gluck. Budget $25 million. Running time 102 minutes. 

It's the near future and in America the ultra right have won the election and control the country. Their first move is to instigate a total 'no sex before marriage' mandate banning premarital sex. The entire population has been tattooed with a tattoo that changes colour meaning if it's red you can't have sex, and if it's green you can. If you're married you can have sex whenever you want, but if you're single you have to wait for that one day of the year when for 12 hours you can have sex with anyone you like as long as it's consensual. And on that very special day we meet Allie (Monica Barbaro) an aspiring jingle singer with performance issues and jug-eared Owen (Callum Turner) who owns and runs his own pizzeria called Claremont. He's a hopeless romantic waiting to propose to his girlfriend of three years on the night the whole country goes fuck-crazy, while Allie wants to find something more than just a meaningless shag. He finds out his girlfriend wants a hall-pass for meaningless sex with someone else and Allie just wants the D.  Throughout the evening these two cross paths more often than is normal, I mean be it the waiting room of a police station, in the queue to buy the last remaining condom in the city, at a private invite only party for the hottest pop singer in the business, or literally on the street corner, it's almost like fate had commanded these two be together. What follows is the classic Boy meets girl, loses girl, meets another girl, while girl meets another boy, both lose respective boys and girls before meeting other boys and girls before losing those before reuniting with original girl, in his case, before realising they want the other but then losing each other before the happy ending. And oddly enough it's that happy ending that's missing. For a film obsessed with meaningless sex with random strangers this is a film that's ridiculously chaste when it comes to the two leads making the beast with two backs, because when push almost become thrust (or shove) and with literally minutes left on the clock before the no sex rule kicks back in again, these two lug heads decide to wait another year before playing 'let's hide the salami.' because if something is good it's worth waiting for. And the strange thing is that this last minute cock block just reinforces the whole celibacy until married conceit. And while the chant from all the insanely horny sex-upped singletons throughout the film is "FUCK THE MANDATE!" except for our two leads who when we join them a year later, living together the message seems to be, "It's better to wait." Mixed. Fucking. Messaging.

What a weird little film this is. The two leads who are as horny as fuck and twice as sexy are so chaste they could have stepped out of a Hallmark flick. Callum Turner as jug-eared as he is, is nevertheless easy on the eye, as is Moncia Barbaro whose plunging halter-top silver mini dress is silver revelation excude sex appeal by the bucket load and have lovely chemistry and charm to boot but it's all above the waist and the nearest we get to any sex is no-tongue kissing and not a single nork grope, or bum squeeze.  

Also, the logic and complex set-up makes this whole world seem utterly implausible. It's like a reverse Handmaids Tale of sexual politics. Both Allie and Owen have sexless encounters throughout the evening but neither has sex, saving themselves for the other at the climax of the film and it all feels so virginal. Mildly amusing, some of the situations and characters they encounter raise a smile, perhaps none more so than when LeVar Burton and Owen's mum, Molly Ringwald who hook up for some bubblewrap kinky sex. But that's about it for fun, or sex. With neither a bare bum, or boob, save for one chaste sidebob, to see, there's no sex, or nudity, which is weird in a film about meaningless sex. 

It's all so toothless and sweet. 5/10

   

#80: COYOTE VS. ACME

 

STARRING: Will Forte, Lana Condor, Tone bell, Luis Guzman, Martha Kelly, P.J. Byrne, Eric Bauza, Kenneth Choi and John Cena. Screenplay by Samy Burch. Story by James Gunn, Jeremy Slater and Samy Burch. Directed by Dave Green. Budget #72 million. Running time 103 minutes. 

Think of this as the 21st Century response to the utterly superb 1988 Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Set in the present and featuring a world where cartoon characters and humans co-exist side-by-side in harmony.

The plot sees Wile E. Coyote decide to hire the services of a small law firm, Avery, Jones & Maltese to sue ACME – the ubiquitous industrial complex that creates devices for cartoon charactors. After decades of failing to capture the Road Runner, the Coyote decides the defective ACME products he's been using, are responsible and sets out to sue ACME for damages, setting in motion the court case of the century. But as Kevin Avery (Will Forte) and his niece, Paige Avery (Lana Condor) start to investigate they uncover a conspiracy decades in the making, leading ACME's head lawyer, Buddy Crane (John Cena) to go on the attack. Leading to a dramatic race to a congressional investigation, where the Road Runner will testify, assuming he lives long enough...

Funny, meta, packed with gags, visual and verbal and enough Easter Eggs to keep even the most hardened fans of the Warner Bros. cartoons happy, this was an absolute hoot! The animation is top notch and the the cast list of legendary WB characters includes Bugs, Daffy, Tweety, Sylvester, Porky, Foghorn and even includes a legendary 1930s character actor by the name of Lorre. 

I've not laughed this much at a film in ages, it's such a playful, joyful and funny film that doesn't pander, doesn't preach and still packs a rather sweet little ending. 

Sadly, this is going to tank and tank hard. Its story to the big screen is worthy of a film in its own right. Originally scheduled for deletion back in 2023 as part of a tax write off, that included Batgirl, the film was rescued and sold off, but released at the tail end of August with an almost non-existent press campaign, which is a great shame because this was a terrifically funny flick, it's got heart, silliness and some brilliant gags. 

If you love the films of Tex Avery and Chuck Jones Go and see it, you'll love it. The characterisation of Wile E. Coyote is spot on, and he stays utterly true to his cartoon origins. The animation is a treat and really looks hand-drawn, John Cena continues to show his comedic chops but gets a little sidetracked. And finally fantastic to see Leghorn Foghorn back in action. 

9/10   

#79: TRAINSPOTTING

STARRING: Ewan McGregor, Ewen Bremner, Jonny Lee Miller, Kevin McKidd, Robert Carlyle, Kelly MacDonald, Peter Mullan, Eileen Nicholas, Shirley Henderson, James Cosmo, Kevin and Keith Allen. Screenplay by John Hodge. Based on the book by Irvine Welsh. Cinematography by Brian Tufano and edited by Masahiro Hirakubo. Directed by Danny Boyle. Budget £1.5 million. Box office takings £48 million. Running time 93 minutes. Originally released in 1996.

It's 30 years since this film first debuted and I can still remember it vividly, it's one that has stayed with me all these years, so the chance to revisit it on the big screen was too much to resist. But, has it stood the test of time, or has it become jaded and old? It's funny, but the same week I watched this again and I've seen both Ewan Mcgregor and Kelly MacDonald in new stuff, The End of Oak St. for him and the new Lanterns show for her.

The Trainspotting plot is told from the point of view of Renton (McGregor) and starts off as an apparent love letter to the joys of heroin and drug taking and a rejection of normality, a carrion call to reject 'life' and embrace the joys of smack, but it soon becomes clear that Renton is lying to himself and he desperately tries to crack his addiction. The trouble is, his whole life and all of his friends are involved in one way or another and every time he seems to get clear he falls back into his old ways, leading to one final attempt to escape his chaotic life. 

By god this is a great film, directed with true passion and energy by Danny Boyle. Brilliantly edited, and photographed. The soundtrack – a compilation album of bangers perfectly captures the mood and spirit of the times. The writing is sharp, funny and crisp, capturing Renton's inner monologue perfectly. But it's the acting that truly elevates this to something special. The six young leads are just note perfect, McGregor has a lot of carrying to do and he does it with effortless skill. Robert Carlyle's Begbie is one of cinema's greatest villains and the menace and violence he brings to the role is outstanding. Jonny Lee Miller's James Bond obsessed Sick Note brings both pathos and humour. while Ewen Bremner's Spud, perhaps the film's funniest character is also its saddest, although Kevin McKid's Tommy is by far the most tragic. 

This is a film that starts off by telling us the reason kids do drugs, and in particular heroin, is because it feels so good, but which never glamourises or sensationalises drug use, it just shows the reality, of five friends lying on the floor of a drug den littered in fag butts and discarded needles in slums lost in a bliss-filled haze of a drug rush. 

This is a funniest, intense and sobbering film that's lost none of its power and feels as fresh today as it did back in 1986. This new 4K restored version of the film presents an Edinburgh that is hideous in tooth and claw, which only helps to make the whole experience feel even more real. If you get a chance go and see the sort of film 'they' just don't make any more. 

10/10

 

#78: MUTINY

 

STARRING: Jason Statham, Annabelle Wallis, Roland Møller and Adrian Lester. Written by Lindsay Michel and J.P. Davis. Directed by Jean-Francois Richet. Budget $50 million. Running time 95 minutes.

Jason's job in this new outing is bodyguard and chauffeur to shipping magnate, Tibor (Ramon Tikaram). Jason or Cole Reed as he's known in this outing has naturally a hidden past, he used to be not only a commando, a special forces operative but also a policeman, highly decorated, stoic, deadly serious, driven, committed, lethal, dangerous, fighter, loner, chess-champion, and most importantly one-man-killing machine. So when his surrogate father figure Tibor gets killed on his watch during a botched kidnapping attempt, that sees Cole framed for the murder of Tibor and death of four policemen and the small army of thugs out to kill Tibor he does the only thing he can. He goes undercover as a sailor on a shipping container ship Tibor owned to find out why Tibor was killed.

That's the plot, sort of, there's other stuff too, a container holds trafficked people who a bunch of pirates want, but mostly it's just Cole on a ship killing off the 20+ sailors under the stewardship of villainous Captain Marko Madsen (Roland Møller), who it turns out had something to do with the killing of Cole's dad some years earlier. Added to the mix is 3rd Mate Angie Ellis (Annabelle Wallis) shoe-horned into the script because the focus group that shaped and moulded this felt it was a little sausage heavy. So in comes Angie who's more than capable of fighting and killing with impunity.

And so with the scenario set up and the plot running it's just a case of watching JS butcher 20 odd men using his fists, feet, and whatever guns, knives, hay hooks and harpoon guns that come his way. 

But unlike his previous cinematic outing's character, Shelter's Michael Mason, Cole Reed isn't invulnerable and actually gets stabbed in the chest, top left, which after a minimal bleed does no more than to make him even more peevish. 

Then it's Die Hard on a boat, or Underseige: The Remake, as Cole just does his thing in confined spaces before finally confronting Marko Madsen for one last fight. then it's back to Far East to get revenge on the man who set the whole film in motion. 

If you've read enough of my posts you know I like Jason Statham films and this is no exception. It's vicious, nasty, and surprisingly violent. The action isn't edited to death and the gore and injury details are surprisingly not skimped on. This isn't big or clever, it's not creating something new, and it most certainly isn't reinventing the wheel. There's no humour to undercut the violence and the only one liner we get is Cole thanking Tibor for gifting him a Rolex watch that enables Cole to unscrew some screws. 

Like all Statham films it's not big, or clever, it just gets the job done. Bish Bosh. And unlike the American based adventures, he gets to keep his British accent. 

6/10 

 

#77: TONY

 

STARRING: Dominic Sessa, Emilia Jones, Dagmara Dominczyk, Rich Sommer, Stavros Halkias, Leo Woodall and Antonio Banderas. Written by Matt Johnson, Matthew Mller, Todd Bartels and Lou Howe. Directed by Matt Johnson. Running time 106 minutes. 

It's 1975 and Jaws is playing in a double bill with the classic Charles Bronson movie, Violent City, while staggeringly creepy 19-year old Vassar College student, Anthony 'Tony' Bourdain (Dominic Sessa)lies to everyone he meets, knows or has even the merest of interactions with that he's a budding writer and winner of a writing scholarship, even his family. Latching on with all the focus of a laser guided missile, Tony fixates on fellow student Nancy Putkoski (Emilia Jones) and follows her to Provincetown in Massachusetts, for the summer, after stealing a couple of hundred dollars from his doting father. Once in Provincetown, Tone gets pissed, runs up a debt in a lobster restaurant called the Flagship, loses all his money, gets beaten up and knocked unconscious. In the morning he wakes up in a hammock on the back porch of the kindly owner of the Flagship (Antonio Banderas) and blags himself a job as a dishwasher where he slowly befriends the gang of psychopaths and maniacs who work in the kitchen. Every morning the unnamed Flagship owner throws a bucket of water over Tony, who then spends the day, smoking, taking drugs and flirting with Nancy. All the while Tone pretends to be a writer while not writing anything while secretly observing the practices of the kitchen. Finally he convinces the owner to open a special Friday night dinner service and serve lobster thermidor to impress Nancy, so he can shag her, and ends up burning down the restaurant. Which naturally upsets Antonio who tells Tone he was going to offer him a full time job. To repay the kindly old man, Tone and his junkie friend break into Antonio's house, steal a cooking book and stage a clam bake BBQ on the beach pretending to raise money to rebuild the Flagship. Happily the two young men collect a huge amount of money for 'charity' when Antonio arrives and Tone decides to make amends for being an absolute shitberg for the previous 100 minutes and sods off to culinary school in New York, but only after reuniting with his family so they can forgive him for stealing and running away. Before a series of captions tell us that the real life Anthony Bourdain went on to write a book about kitchens and travel the world. 

And that's it plot wise.

This is a tonally weird film about a miserable, self-obsessed teenage arsehole who thinks the fucking world owes him a living. Convinced of his own greatness and happy to roll over anyone he chooses and to lie, steal and cheat to get what he wants, the young Bourdain is a thoroughly unlikable little shit played horribly by Dominic Sessa who makes Bourdain appear to be a serial killer in training. He spends the whole film looking dirty, unkempt and disgusting, he's a boy who never bathes or brushes his teeth. All he does is stalk Nancy and try and groom her into having sex with him. He spends every second he is with her staring at her as if she's a piece of meat he's about to fillet. Every moment Sessa takes the stage you find yourself subconsciously scratching and fantasying about having a wash once the film is over. 

At no point does Bourdain become even remotely likeable and his grubby, greedy, self-obsessed narcissism becomes quite exhausting. The film presents him as a loner, a rebel destined for greatness but Sessa who spends the film slumped over like a hunchback and peering through greasy curly bangs is so unlikeable there's never any chance you'll buy into his self-obsessed bullshit. 

As an award-winning TV chef, I love a film about cooking but it seems the only nation capable of creating fantastic films about cooking are the French. For comparison, the French gave us the exquisite fare like The Taste of Things, about a banquet of fine wine and food while the yanks gave us Chef, about a food van selling cheese toasties. In fact the best movie America has ever given us about food was The Menu.

Because Sessa's Bourdain is so sleazy and unlikeable you spend the film wanting the foppish haired twat to fail, you're practically egging him on to so so in spectacular fashion, however, when the fail finally arrives late in the third act, it's handled with all the finese of a dine and dash. It's clumsy and implausible, he apparently doesn't realise that throwing buckets of water over an oil fire isn't a good idea and only succeeds in setting fire to the restaurant. Thank fuck then for Antonio who at least offers a subtle masterclass in less is more acting, but that's really about all I've got to praise it. 

It looks okay, some of the scenery is nice but that's all it really has going for it. I think a film following Bourdain after he leaves culinary school for his journey round the world would have been more interesting. Not so this, which arrives with all the pomp and ceremony of a disappointing desert.

6/10

#75 & 76: THE END OF OAK STREET. Revisited

 REVISITED

STARRING: Anne Hathaway, Ewan McGregor, Maisy Stella and Christian Convery. Produced by J.J. Abrams, Hannah Minghella, Jon Cohen, David Robert Mitchell, Matt Jackson and Tommy Harper. Written and directed by David Robert Mitchell. Budget $92 million. Running time 99 minutes. 

Can't help thinking the people who churn out the utterly turgid Jurassic Park films must be slapping their foreheads in disbelief and shouting, "So, that's how you do a dinosaur movie!", their last film – the 2025 woeful Jurassic World Rebirth cost a genuinely staggering $254 million dollars to make, while this one a 'mere' $92 million, which in comparison is low budge and ten times better!

It's 1982 and life, or so it seems is good in the Oak Street neighbourhood, there's a massive street party underway and everything seems wonderful and everyone seems happy, although scratch the surface of Platt family, Denise and Gret Platt (Anne Hathaway and Ewan McGregor) and you can easily see their marriage is on the rocks and their two children, Audrey and Brian (Maisy Stella and Christian Convery) know it. Greg's hiding a secret – that he's lost his job and trying to make ends meet by working as a pizza delivery boy and she's an aspiring novelist who's written something wonderful using her own family as her inspiration. Then one night during a particularly violent lighting and thunder storm, the entire neighbourhood is transported via a worm hole, or ball, back 65 millions years ago to the Cretaceous Period and the family find themselves fighting for their lives as the neighbourhood goes to the dinasours. As their neighbours get whittled down and the family dog goes missing, the family naturally, because it's a film, split up and go off looking for him leading to a genuinely scary sequence that just keeps building. Finally our nuclear family piece together what's happening and how to get home and then late into the third act, something truly shocking and unexpected happens and the stakes rise meteorically leading to a superb third act that does not disappoint. 

Who would have thought dinosaurs could be scary, taking place mostly in the day light, these beasties are feathered, ugly and unbelievably lethal. The action builds nicely and as the town is reduced to a burning ruin, our family keep running looking for a way out. This feels like a Spielberg film, hardly surprising since this is a Bad Robot Production and one of the producers is J.J. Abrams, who for a long time was hailed as the next Spielberg, much in the same way Christopher Nolan is called the next Kubrick.  

This looks, feels and sounds like a Spielberg film, it's packed full 1980s elements, like kids riding their BMX bikes around the neighbourhood, 8-tracks, Battlestar Galactica movie posters, typewriters, and not a mobile phone in sight! Kids take centre stage for much of this and are deeply annoying at times, asking stupid questions, taking ridiculous risks and running off whenever the plot needs them to. 

Overall this was a thoroughly enjoyable, action-packed, dramatic and emotional romp, a true rollercoaster of excitement and one that utterly nails the landing. What an utter treat. Sure without Jurassic Park, we wouldn't have this, but boy what we do have is a dinosaur film that's actually scary.

Do yourself a favour and pay Oak Street a visit, you won't regret it!

8/10

REVISITED
Back from seeing this for the second time, I dragged Petra. So, what was it like second time round? 

Don't get me wrong the dinosaur bits are still great, the whole third act is a hoot and it sure is exhilarating, it's just that there are elements that really drag this down and those elements are the family at the centre of it all. Them and more importantly all the male characters in this film – from Ewan McGregor's Greg, to Brian, his idiot son (Christian Convery), their next door neighbour, Mel (P.J. Byrne) and any other random male we see are all stupid, pathetic and ineffective. While every single woman is dynamic, go-getting, pro-active and the utter opposite of pathetic. Denise (Anne Hathaway) is an uber girl-boss in the mould of Alien's Ripley, who shots and fights her way to victory, while their daughter, Audrey (Maisy Stella) is the brain box able to offer her expert opinion on wormholes and quantum physics. Greg is a milk-sop, weak, wimpy, pathetic, he acts like an anchor slowing them all down, offering empty hope and platitudes, while Brian, the boy child, is just there to put himself and his family in constant jeopardy, and whine incessantly and it grates, boy does it grate. Actually, I really wanted Brian to die horribly. He spends the whole film running round the town armed with a child's bow and arrow set and feebly fires arrows at everything missing every single time. That said, he does happen to hit the side of a barn with an arrow, but that's from inside the barn and the wall is behind the dinosaur that's trying to eat him. Oh, how I screamed for that dinosaur to tear his stupid face off, but sadly Brian survived, only to fall off a roof at the most  in-opportune moment, putting his whole family in danger - AGAIN! Although I don't suppose there's a right time to fall off a roof. 

There's also a bizarre lack of other people in this world, when the Pratt [sic] family first realise what the fuck is going on, they go exploring and beside one single neighbour going to work, there is simply no other living person in this neighbourhood. Finally as the film progresses we see bodies and the occasional group of dinosaur fast food (slow-running packs of humans), and corpses but that's it, I think this would have been better if the neighbours had banded together to survive and then been whittled down. 

As we walked home, Pet and I talked about the film and both agreed that the one thing both the children needed was a bloody good thrashing, Greg and Denise are dreadful parents and I for one wish the bastard dinosaurs had eaten them all.

FINALLY, one really important thing for anyone with young children to know. THIS isn't the film for your under 12s, stop bringing them. yet again a performance marred by frightened children who had to be 'rescued' by their parents because this is too violent. It's a 12A for a goddam reason you stupid shits. 

That said, despite the pathetic males, and the annoying family, this was still loads of fun. And more importantly, Pet loved it and gave it an 8/10 so who am I to disagree, 8/10 it remains.

  

#74: SUNNY DANCER

 

STARRING: Bella Ramsey, Daniel Quinn-Toye, Ruby Stokes, Earl Cave, Jasmine Elcock, Conrad Khan, Jessica Gunning, James Norton and Neil Patrick Harris. Written and directed by George Jaques. Running time 106 minutes. 

Ivy (Bella Ramsey) is 10 months into her cancer remission, but living effectively as a shut-in with her loving and supporting parents, Bob and Karen (James Norton and Jessica Gunning) home. Abandoned by her old friends and suffering from survivor guilt, she's terrified of living prompting her parents to enrol her into a four week chemo camp with other cancer survivors, and off she goes reluctantly, defiant and determined not to enjoy it or fit in. But once there she quickly makes friends with a group of young wacky teenagers on the cusp of adulthood including Jake (Daniel Quinn-Toye), Ella (Ruby Stokes), Ralph (Earl Cave), Maisie (Jasmine Elcock) and Archie (Conrad Khan) and locking horns with camp commander Patrick (Neil Patrick Harris) the well-meaning rule obsessed and overly cheerful ruler of the camp who naturally becomes her nemesis, until his tragic background cracks Ivy's cynical nature and she begins to emerge from her emotional cocoon. The film broken down into chapters named after each week follows the group as they bond over the four weeks on an overnight camping trip, a day out to a local funfair, go skinny-dipping, fall in love and battle a gang of normals who make the mistake of insulting them leading to a funny punch up. All these events bring the gang of five together and create a bond that only death will end. 

The film offers nothing new and it's tropes and beats are what you'd expect from a coming-to-age comedy/drama about cancer, and yet it's an engaging, funny and kind film. Watching these young people connect and bond is quite powerful, particularly when they gingerly talk about their own cancer experiences. Likewise the relationship between Ivy and Ella, Ivy's room mate is charming and funny. There's no 3rd act fall-out for this gang of survivors, although the film does deal an emotional gut punch in the third act which is quite clumsily telegraphed and in hindsight unnecessary. 

It also does something quite, quite extraordinary, it made me like Bella Ramsey. I find her performance in both the Last of Us and Game of Thorns awful and yet she's expected to carry most of the heavy emotional luggage in this film and does so with grim determination. The rest of the cast are fun and my personal favourite was Ruby Stokes who was genuinely funny. And I think this is saved by being a UK film and not American one, so it avoids giving the young cast lessons to learn, or a bully to thwart or overcome and allows the 17 year-olds to engage in a very touching and sweet sex scene.

Despite some rough edges and clunky direction from director and writer George Jaques, plus some continuity errors that jar, this film also suffers from an over abundance of Ikea dressed sets, which pull you out of the film.

Overall, this is a kind, gentle and fun film about surviving cancer that only suffers from the need to pour on the pathos in the third act, which feels there just to give Bella one last chance to cry and emote. 

8/10  

#73: SUPER TROOPERS 3

 

STARRING: Jay Chandrasekhar, Kevin Heffernan, Steve Lemme, Paul Soter, Erik Stolhanske, Hannah Simone, Nat Faxon, Chace Crawford, Brian Cox, Lynda Carter. Written by Broken Lizard. Directed by Jay Chandrasekhar. 104 minutes long.

The continuing adventures of a group of idiot state troopers as they do very little but prank motorists and each other while swearing, drinking to excess and being marginally crude. I have no desire to do a deep dive into this. I think I saw the first one, the second one was crowd-funded and apparently terrible and this is a soft as putty, vaguely amusing, although not funny, sort of thing. The characters all look the same and it features Brian Cox clearly doing it to pay the mortgage. There's a nice bottom on show, some sexy underwear and a flash of boob, but that's about it. The plot has something to do with drug smuggling and maple syrup. There's some nonsense about the funniest character getting married to the sister of one of the others, but the brother isn't happy and tries to sabotage the wedding. At the stag do, strippers are called in to disgrace the groom to be. Mild racist jokes are made, but they're utterly inoffensive and are mostly unfunny, as is the whole thing. 

There's a talking eco car, a car stunt and a baddy who's hiding in plain sight. That's it. The ending rolls to a halt at the wedding and someone, the baddy is shot and killed. Then there's three weddings and a final post credit sting with Brian Cox and Lynda Carter lying in baths. The whole thing is written by the cast and has all the spark and vim of a ward full of medicated geriatrics. 

I've seen a lot worse and a lot funnier. This is the mildest of films and I doubt any of you will go and see it, and if I'm being honest I'm really not too sure why I went, I knew it was going to be this sort of film and yet I went. Is my life this meaningless that i fill the waking chasm in my soul with this sort of shit? Isn't there a single other thing I could do than sit in a cinema with just two other patrons and watch this. I mean I could have stayed at home with the wife, still recovering from a hip replacement, but oh no, I choose to go and see this. I suppose it was cooler inside and the cherry slushy was nice.

What I will say is that I saw something that deeply shocked me, and no it wasn't the sight of Brian Cox in a bath, it was a trailer for Silent Night 2, a film about an ultra violent Santa Clause that's not out till November. What the hell is wrong with this goddam world, this week, Harrods opened its Christmas department and the cinemas are trailing films for Xmas, it's the middle of August you sons of bitches, we're living through the worst heat wave in living memory and you're already getting excited about Christmas. Put a fucking sock in it you pricks. 

Anyway back to this. I missed the second outing, only vaguely remember the first and will never watch this ever again. I suppose I saw it so you don't have to. So, don't and if you do, then don't say I didn't warn you. 

Middling, dull, and rather bland. Thank god for Brian Cox who gives a 5% performance that still 10 times more than the rest of the regular cast.

3/10 mostly for the fore-mentioned nudity and the occasional chortle. 

#72: DAVID BYRNE'S AMERICAN UTOPIA

 

STARRING: David Byrne. Written by David Byrne. Produced by David Byrne and Spike Lee. Music by David Byrne. Featuring the Chris Giarmo, Tendayi Kuumba, Karl Mansfield, Angie Swan, Bobby Wooten III, Mauro Reosco, Tim Keiper, Gustaveo Di Dalva, Jacquelene Acevedo, Daniel Freedman and Stephan San Juan. Directed by Spike Lee. Running time 105 minutes.

This is the second concert film for me of the year following the sublime EPiC: Elvis Presley in Concert. This one, directed by Spike Jones is a filming of the 2020 tour, which due to Covid didn't get released at the time. It's a filmed performance of the New York Broadway run. Back in 2020 I was lucky enough to see this extraordinary performance at the O2 just before Covid shut the country down. It was the second time I've seen David Byrne perform live, the first as part of the Talking Heads tour, was back in 1982, that was an experience that bordered on the religious for me and I was profoundly moved by it. Watching American Utopia live 28 years later was similarly sublime. Sadly this year's David Bryne American Utopia world tour was prohibitively expensive and I had to give it a miss, so when news of this one night screening of the 2020 show was announced I pounced and I'm glad it did.

Featuring among other Burning Down the House, Don't Worry About the Government, Once in a Lifetime, and Road to Nowhere as well as 17 other numbers from Talking Heads: 77 to American Utopia, Little Creatures, Remain in the Light and Fear of Music this really is a visual and audio masterpiece. The band and Byrne surge endlessly across the stage, wearing their instruments and dancing, as they follow their glorious leader from one song to the next, this ebbs and flows and is a vision to behold. As a committed Talking Heads fan I can only fault this for one glaring omission, the lack of Psycho Killer, the song that made me a fan and that I've listened to more than any other song. But that is the only negative I have for this wonderfully moving and extraordinary film. 

Spike Jones directs this wonderfully, the camera never intrusive, flowing with the cast and feels organic. the way the performers move around the small stage is a marvel, performing as they dance, there is no backing track, no speaker stack, no leads and cables just Byrne's crew wearing their instruments, playing, singing and dancing, always moving. I wish I'd seen this on a bigger screen, but regardless it was a joy, and Petra on only her second cinema visit since her hip replacement gave it a very rare, for her, 10/10.

Me I couldn't possible disagree, that would be rude. 10/10

#70: SPIDER-MAN: BRAND NEW DAY

 

STARRING: Tom Holland, Zendaya, Sadie Sink, Jacob Batalon, Jon Bernthal, Florence Pugh, Tramell Tillman, Michael Mando and Mark (I'm not the Gruffalo) Ruffalo, Marisa Tomei and Liza Colón-Zayas. Written by Chris McKenna and Erik Sommers (not the brother of Scott Sommers, who spells his name Summers). Based on the comic strip created by Stan Lee and Steve Ditko. Directed by Destin Daniel Cretton. Budget $225 million. Running time 145 minutes. 

Set four years after the events of Spider-Man: No Way Home, which saw Spider-Man, Peter Parker (Tom Holland) forced to cast Dr. Strange's spell that robbed the whole of the world of the knowledge that he was Spider-man, including love of his life MJ (Zendaya) and bestest friend in the world, Ned (Jacob Batalon). This Spider-Man has been fully accepted as NY's masked avenger and rightly feted by its populace, there's no J.J. Jameson to sully his name, so he can concentrate on dealing with a seemingly never-ending wave of street level villains from Scorpion, to name but one, as I don't want to spoil anything for you here. That said, there's one wonderful homage to a comic that had me squeaking in sheer delight, and on the Amazing-o-meter it rated a solid 15! He's got a friend in the NYPD, detective Jean DeWolff (Liza Colón-Zayas), acting as his Commission Gordon, and a love/hate relationship going on with Frank Castle (Jon Bernthal) aka The Punisher. Parker lives an almost monastic life from his attic, alone and mourning his lost relationships. Then, one day an audacious attack on Damage Control HQ by a little old lady in an armoured tank, brings Spider-Man face-to-face with a mysterious villain who can leap into the minds of people and take control, but who are they and what does it have to do with Damage Control?

There is a lot of plot, characters and incident to shoehorn into this film, no wonder it's so long, at its core the loneliness of Peter Parker - still grieving for the loss of Aunt May and MJ, but there's also the sense of hope, of a 'brand new day' as Parker goes about trying to build new relationships, like the unlikely one between Parker and Castle, or Detective DeWolff, as well his feeble attempts to somehow reconnect with Ned and MJ. 

The action aspect often takes a sidestep, which isn't necessarily a bad thing although it certainly spoiled a lot of the younger kids in the audience's enjoyment, this is a 12A film, it's quite sophisticated in its language, plus it's not a live-action animated film, there's a lot of talking and I think younger kids are going to be bored by this, one such tyke in the audience last night started playing with his pinging tablet last night and his mother couldn't seem to care less, till several people around her told her to shut it off. 

ANYWAY, the film itself. It was surprising to see so much of Spider-Man in full costume talking and interacting with people, it felt strange, but in a good way and soon became quite believable, he's a very likeable character perhaps the most relatable of all the superheroes. The action is jawdropping, the Hulk, revealed in the trailer so there's no spoiling to mention him here, is great, brief but great, and when he finally goes full Hulk it's fantastic! Likewise the relationship between Parker and The Punisher is funny and rewarding too, but the Punisher struggles to work in a 12 A universe, ultimately his superpower is just shooting guns, but there's a connection between the two that reminds me of Superman Vs Batman, but done better. In fact all of the relationships at play in this film are deeply rewarding, perhaps none more so than the final one between Ned and Parker which really choked me up.

The phrase Super Hero Fatigue gets thrown around a lot these days, but I can tell you there's no such think as Spider-Man Fatigue, judging from the crowd I saw this with. I think the fatigue comes from a hideous glut of truly mediocre superhero fare with generic off the peg stories, and threats too big to comprehend. Not so this, the story at it's core is the important sauce. Give the audience a strong story with a proper emotional core and some stakes they can relate to will win the day.

This isn't a perfect Spider-Man film, for me that would be Spider-Man Homecoming (2017), Spider-Man (2002) and Spider-Man 2 (2004). This is a tad too long, and the effects are a little soft and murky at times, the direction by Destin Daniel Cretton is very perfunctory and pedestrian and lacks the visual flair of Sam Raimi, he's just a safe pair of hands. Plus the villain, as surprising as they start out to be is, if I'm being honest, a tad disappointing by the end. The soundtrack, which seems to be mostly pop songs doesn't really register and this feels like a TV movie rather than a spectacle and doesn't quite have that gloss of a big Hollywood blockbuster, which at a price tag of $225 million it should have.

Anyway, exceedingly fun and entertaining and filled with some simply excellent Spider-Man moments, with plenty of action and emotional resonance, but sadly not quite firing on all cylinders. It flew but just didn't quite soar.

So this gets an Amazing Fantasy rating of Tim Boo Ba, or 9/10 if you don't know your comics.

#69: RAGING BULL

 

STARRING: Robert De Niro, Joe Pesci and Cathy Moriarty. Screenplay by Paul Schrader adn Mardik Martin. Based on Raging Bull: My Story by Jake LaMotta, Joseph Carter and Peter Savage. Cinematoraphy by Michael Chapman. Edited by Thelma Schoonmaker. Directed by Martin Scorsese. Budget $18 million. Box office $23. 4 million. Originally released in 1980. Running time 129 minutes.

For a film that garnished a lacklustre boxoffice haul of just $23.4 million off of a budget of $18 million, and mixed reviews at the time, this black and white biopic certainly packs a punch. It went on to become the first film selected into the Library of Congress's National Film Registry for being 'culturally historically, or aesthetically significant'. It was ranked in 2007 by the American Film Institute as the fourth-greatest American movie of all time. Robert De Niro would win an Oscar for Best Actor and Thelma Schoonmaker one for Best Editing. It was nomitated a further six times by the academy and went on to win a further 16 International film awards. Three more of Scorsese's films would go on to be selected for the the National Film Registry including Mean Streets, Taxi Driver and Goodfellas. 

The plot is simplicity itself, it's the biopic of Jake LaMotta, his rise and fall, or knock down, and based on his own autobiography tracking his career from king of the ring to nightclub owner and stand-up comic of sorts.  

What stands out is De Niro's commitment to the role, perhaps no other actor with the exception of Daniel Day Lewis commits so much to a role. In De Niro that commitment saw him pile on a legendary 60 lbs or 27 kg to portray the older post fighting Ray LaMotta. This is not an easy film to watch, it's savage, aggressively so, in fact on its release the sheer violence of the film damaged it with the movie going audience not used to the sort of savagery Scorsese filled his screen with. But it's necessary, Jake was a very violent man inside and outside the ring, he's a man that only ever seemed happy beating another man half to death, his jealousy made him a monster outside the ring and the brutality meted out to his brother, Joey (Joe Pesci) and wife, Vickie (Cathy Moriarty) makes for deeply uncomfortable viewing, but isn't that a good thing? We grow up with films that glorify violence, how many times the noble hero who stabs to death an opponent or shots another with impunity, but when it's on a human level, a domestic one then the violence becomes ugly, and hateful and deeply uncomfortable. Once again, Thelma Schoonmaker's editing is an utter masterclass, as is the cinematography by Michael Chapman, which reminded me of Elephant Man and Eraser Head.  And as always, Scorsese uses music and popular music to powerfully create tension, mood and drama. This truly is a superbly made film and it leaves you emotionally drained. De Niro is mesmerising in the role, his self-made transformation into the bloated LaMotta is genuinely astonishing and you do literally forget you're watching De Niro. Similarly, both Pesci and Moriarty give their roles depth and nuance.

10/10 A profoundly powerful experience.  



 



   

#68: GOODFELLAS

 

STARRING: Robert De Niro, Ray Liotta, Joe Pesci, Lorraine Bracco and Paul Sorvino. Screenplay by Nicholas Pileggi and Martin Scorsese. Based on Wiseguy by Nicholas Pileggi. Edited by Thelma Schoonmaker. Budget $25 million. Box office $47.1 million. Originally released 1990. Running time 146 minutes.

God bless Cineworld for showing a short Martin Scorsese season, with eight films in total ranging from King of Comedy, Taxi Driver, Raging Bull to Casino and I intend to see them all except for Shutter Island, which although I enjoyed I don't feel the urge to revisit. This one however, Goodfellas was an absolute no-brainer to see again. It's a film I've watched a dozen or more times since it was first released 36 years ago and I never tire of rewatching it. 

A critical and commercial success, it was deemed 'culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant' and selected for preservation in the Library of Congress's National Film Registry. Nominated for six academy awards it won one for Best Supporting Actor (Joe Pesci) it would go on to win 28 International film awards. And today it is widely considered to be one of the best films ever made.

Based on the true life story of Henry Hill, the plot told from his point of view of Henry Hill (a career defining Ray Liotta) and narrated too, follows Hill's life from school boy to gangster in the New York Mafia run by Paulie Cicero (Paul Sorvino) along side Tommy Devito (Joe Pesci) and Jimmy Conway (Robert De Niro). Spanning several decades as the three lead crimbos work their way up the pole to the top, robbing trucks, clubs, airports and anything else they can, while also manufacturing and selling drugs, and killing if it'll help, there's nothing these wiseguys won't do to make a dishonest buck. 

This is Scorsese firing on all cylinders, or all chambers if you want a gun reference, from the direction, to the performances, the music, the cinematography, the visual look and the astounding three-minutes single-take camera shot of Henry Hill and Karen arriving at the Cococoba Club, this is a film to be savoured like a fine wine, it needs to be viewed on the big screen without interruptions, writ large where it can soar. It is a timeless film that will still seem as fresh in 50 or a 100 years from now. It feels like the flip side of a coin where the other face is The Godfather, this in contrast is the grubby blue-colar world of organised crime, where the only honour exists for as long as money holds out. Where lifelong friendships can be exterminated over a mink coat, but you never grass to the feds, unless you're Henry Hill. It plays a clever trick on the viewer, at first it seems to almost glamourise the lifestyle it presents, an apparent  victimless world with the adage of take what you want with impunity. It's a close knit community among the gangsters they seem to live in each others' pockets offering a family of sorts, gathering for birthdays, weddings and weekend BBQs and while the men conduct their business the wives ignore the truth and live a pampered life. Then slowly as the film progresses and the greed and pursuit of money takes over the veneer and glamour of their world wears off and the ugly truth is revealed and it's genuinely horrifying. And that makes this whole film so gripping, it's a dirty, grubby world and its sheer power is a joy to behold. A film so filled with incident but never feels rushed, you are whisked along with a soundtrack of superb pop music that's matched to the year and ends with The Sex Pistols. 

A stone cold classic. A brilliant, gripping, dramatic and very brutal film filled with incredible acts of cinematic genius and moments of unbelievable savagery. A film worthy of all the praise and adoration and it is in a word, simply magnificent.

10/10  

#67: TAXI DRIVER

 

STARRING: Robert DeNiro, Jodie Foster, Harvey Keitel, Cybill Shepherd, Peter Boyle, Leonard Harris and Albert Brooks. Written by Paul Schrader. Produced by Michael Phillips and Julia Phillips. Cinematography by Michael Chapman. Music by Bernard Herrmann. Directed by Martin Scorsese. Budget $1.9 million. Original box office take: $29 million. Running time 114 minutes. Originally released in 1976.

I was 13 when this first came out and had to wait until I was 15 before I got to see it in a double bill with Midnight Express. And whereas I enjoyed Midnight Express, I was, very much like Harvey Keitel's character, blown away by Taxi Driver. That said, it's not a film I've rewatched that many times since, it sort of stays with you and so I've probably only seen it once or twice since 1978. So the chance to revisit it up on the big screen as part of Cineworld's Scorsese Season was an opportunity to good to miss. 

The story is nothing that special, it sort of meanders long, a bit like Vietnam vet Travis Bickle's (Robert DeNiro) life as he fills his days and nights driving a taxi, visiting porno cinemas and obsessing about a young woman, Betsy (Cybill Shepherd) whom when she rejects his naive and awkward advances determines to rescue a young teenage prostitute, Iris (Jodie Foster) from her pimp, Sport (Harvey Keitel) in a triumphant display of violence and thereby redeem himself.

My god, what an extraordinary film, it's haunting and intense, DeNiro is an utter revelation his performance is nothing short of astonishing. But then, just singling him out does a massive disservice to everyone associated with this film. It is a remarkable cinematic achievement and one of the greatest films ever made. Starting with the music by Bernard Herrmann, which acts as the film's actual beating heart, it throbs with menace, with a soulful saxaphone and jarring strings. The cinematography captures a lost era of New York City, all dazzling neon reds and yellows of the streets and crumbling decayed interiors of cheap hotels. This is a snapshot of social history whose real life details reward the careful viewer, and the performances from the rest of the cast from Jodie Foster to Harvey Keitel, Cybill Sherherd, Peter Boyle and Albert Brooks is brilliant, Jodie Foster just 12 when she made this shows a maturity and still that staggers belief. Then there's the amazing special effects of a young Dick Smith that help to make the insanely violent ending so realistic.

I utterly loved this film, it has lost not one iota of its power or its majesty. If you get a chance to see this at the cinema do yourself a favour and see it. You will not be disappointed. 

A peerless, note perfect 10/10

Trivia.

• Martins Scorsese has two cameos, the first as a bystander watching Betsy arrive at work and the second as a cuckold husband fantasying about killing his adulterous wife. 
• Two of the films that appear on cinema hoardings in the background are Charles Bronson's Mr. Majestix and Clint Eastwood's The Eiger Sanction. 
• George Lucas named the Emperor Palpatine after Senator Charles Palantine.
• This was Bernard Herrmann's last musical score he died within hours of finishing it.  

#66 & 71: THE ODYSSEY (TAKE 2)

STARRING: Matt Damon, Tom Holland, Anne Hathaway, Robert Pattinson, Lupita Nyong'o, Samantha Morton, Zendaya, Charlize Theron and John Leguizamo. Based on the poem by Homer. Music by Ludwig Goransson. Written by Christopher Nolan. Directed by Christopher Nolan. Budget $250 million. Running time 173 minutes. 

It's been three years since Nolan unleashed his last movie, Oppenheimer on the world, in fact he seems to release a film every three years. Each one hailed as a masterpiece by the critic-arti and Nolan declared the new Kubrick. He is worshipped and adored and it's considered rude to point out any faults with his films. One can't but admire this approach, apart from the Battyman trilogy, Nolan makes his own IP and like Kubrick before him, he tends to jump from genre to genre making films he wants to make and the studios indulge him. Often on repeated views, unlike Kubrick, his films tend to reveal their faults - laborious ridiculous plotting of Dark Knight and Dark Knight Rises, or OVERLY LOUD BOMBASTIC AND IMPOSSIBLE TO LISTEN TO SOUNDTRACKS, woeful sound mix, like Oppenheimer, relentless, non-stop explosion of plotpoints that pummel you into submission, Tenet or ridiculous left turns into stupid-land, like Interstellar. That said he also made the utterly superb Inception, The Prestige, Batman Begins and Memento, so you know swings and roundabouts.

Whatever you think of Nolan you can't fault his vision, drive or ambition. And so it is with this, The Odyssey a project he's been noodling about for the past twenty years since he walked away from the 2004 Brad Pitt movie, Troy.

This is an adaptation of Homer's epic ancient poem The Odyssey and apparently the Emily Wilson translation. The plot follows a non-linear path cutting between Odysseus (Matt Damon) on the worst work outing in history as he and military faction of the Greece Empire turn up in Troy on a pub crawl, while 8 years later, his missus, Penelope (Ann Hathaway) and their son, Telemachus (Tom Holland) fend off the amorous advances of a bunch of randy suitors lead by Antinous (Robert Paterson), while wondering where their husband and father is. Meanwhile, Odysseus, who's been held prisoner by the nymph Calypso (Charlize Theron)on a desert island paradise and fed a memory robbing lotus flower, struggles to regain his memory and find his way back to his wife and family before the 'people from the sea' arrive and destroy his world.

This is an extraordinary movie, powerful, satisfying, and adult, brilliantly acted by all, especially Matt Damon who is exceptional in the lead role. Nolan directs with consummate skill and the soundtrack by Ludwig Goransson helps to build drama and tension with genuine skill. Similarly the cinematography and production design are top notch. At its core a deeply engrossing story, with action that is brutal, savage and intense, and featuring seamless special effects, as witnessed by Nolan's version of the cyclops which is exceedingly clever in its design and practical execution, indeed  the sequence with Odysseus and his men trapped in the cyclops's cave was one of the highlights and also surprisingly frightening. Similarly there's a fight in a forest with an army of silent giants that just makes you tense up in alarm. And the attack on Troy really conveyed the true horror of war and the commentary from Odysseus, "I opened the gate and unleashed ten years of hate." really hit home. God, I can't fault this film, it was so engrossing, so satisfying and so complete. And that's before we get to the scene with Samantha Morton that took this to a whole other level.

There's a sequence late in the film where Odysseus realises the true extent of what he has unleashed and the enormity of his actions and the impact it will have on his world. It's powerful and deeply emotional and it left me a little dazed. In fact it makes you wonder if the whole film isn't just the fever dream of someone suffering from PTSD.

It's deeply refreshing that Hollywood is still producing films as unique as this one and I think it's the first Nolan film I've seen which doesn't scream 'Kubrick' at me and this also feels the most grounded and personal of all his films, indeed it might be my favourite of his. I look forward to seeing this again and possibly again on the big screen.

My only criticism is the use of the word, 'dad'. Telemachus uses it all the time and I found it oddly jarring, it feels too 20th Century. But that's as far as it goes for negatives. 

At the end of the day I say see it on the biggest screen you can find and loose yourself in a tale as old as time. 10/10 

TAKE 2
Well, it's still a magnificent film, and deeply engrossing. However, it takes too long to get going, but when it does, boy does it motor. However, just like Oppenheimer before it, this suffers from too much going on all the time, there's no let up, just a relentless onslaught, no time to breathe, but then perhaps that works in its favour, since it means you lose a sense of how long it is. 

As always second time round you get to look around and explore the detail and this is full of them. A still very satisfying and powerful film, and it occurred to me that I can't remember the last time two huge blockbuster movies came out that featured the same three actors in both. 

Still deeply satisfying, powerful and engrossing and still a well deserved--

10/10 

#65: THE MARTIAN

STARRING: Matt Damon, Jessica Chastain, Kata Mara, Jeff Daniels, Chitwetel Ejiofor, Kirsten Wiig, Sean Bean and Michael Pena, Kate Mara, Sean Bean, Sebastian Sean, Donald Glover, Benedict Wung, Mackenzie Davis and Aksel Hennie. Written by Drew Goddard. Based on The Martian by Andy Weir. Cinematography by Dariusz Wolski. Directed by Ridley Scott. Budget $108 million. Originally released in 2015. Original box office haul $630 million. 141 minutes long. 

(I saw this at the cinema 11 years ago, back then I wrote the following review. let's see how I fee about it now.)

30 days into a mission to Mars, poor old astronaut and botanist, Mark Watney (Matt Damon) is accidentally marooned and left for dead following a violent Martian storm, while his crew mates piss off home. What follows is Mark's battle to survive for four years with just enough food for 50 odd days, while NASA fight to bring him home any way they can. And that's the story in a nutshell, or should that be space helmet?

And what a fantastic story this is, by god, the time just flew by, seriously I had no idea this film ran for 2 hours and twenty minutes, I was so engrossed that I would have been just as happy if it had been on for another 2 hours. It's beautiful to look at, gripping, enthralling and uplifting. I have to say that despite enjoying Gravity greatly, I was left a little flat by it, not so with The Martian. This is just fantastic from beginning to end and I utterly loved every single second!

Also, huge kudos to Ridley Scott who just directs the shit out of this film! No one does science fiction like him, it looks so real it's staggering!

Go and see it and enjoy.

10/10 

2026 revisit.

Nope, can't find a single goddam thing to change about the above review. I've seen this at least six times since it was first released, it's become a feelgood Sunday movie and I've already seen it this year at home. But back on the big screen, this just comes to life, it sings, it soars, it's an utter delight. Visually breath-taking, Old Ridders, as he likes to be called, sure can mount a damn fine little movie. And a huge big up to Matt Damon who just nails this perfectly. It still brings a tear to the eye! It's such a deeply satisfying watch, all the performances mell together, the story is gripping and the building tension is wonderful.

Just do yourself a favour and go and see it, seriously it's a sheer delight. 

STILL 10/10

 

#64: MINIONS & MONSTERS

STARRING, VOCALLY: Pierre Coffin, Trey Paker, Christoph Waltz, Allison Janney, Jesse Eisenberg, Jeff Bridges, Zoey Deutch, Bobby Moynihan and Phil LaMarr. Written by Brian Lynch and Pierre Coffin. Directed by Pierre Coffin. Budget $85 million. Running time 90 minutes. 

The 3rd Minions entry in the prequel category and the 7th in the Despicable Me franchise finds a group of Minions searching the globe for a evil genius for whom they can minion for who end up in Hollywood of the 1920s and the advent of sound, there, through a ludicrous set of circumstances, they find themselves the toast of Hollywood and making of movie of their own. And naturally because this is the Minions, they accidentally summon up Cthulu, and his girlfriend, Irene -a multi-eyed orange blob, thwart an alien invasion and inadvertently create the greatest monster film of all times. And if that doesn't make you drop whatever it is you're doing and race down to your local cinema to watch this, then take it from me, you're dead inside.

O.M.G. hands down the funniest animated film I've seen all year. A huge 90 minute love letter to the bygone era of silent cinema, black and white movies, and the legends of yesteryear, with nods to Orson Welles, Bruce Lee, Universal's The Mummy, Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, Harold Lloyd and so many more I couldn't keep count. Plus an hilarious cameo from George Lucas. The opening 20 minutes are pure genius. Sadly the film can't keep the sheer momentum going and the need for a romantic subplot and an alien invasion robs this of a perfect 10/10.

That said, I can't fault this, it looks superb, and better than that it looks like it's own thing, it's not a Pixar rip off, the world of Illumination is quite unique and different from it's American counterpart, and I would say that they've found a visual style that easily outdoes Pixar's recent Toy Story 5 and Hoppers. Illumantion's character design is fantastic, and the whole visual look of this is perfection. There are so many visual gags and jokes that you'll want to watch this a second time just so you can check out all the shop names, movie titles and references that litter the backgrounds. Plus an hilarious Citizen Kane reference that's bound to get all the ankle biters cheering.

And above all that, it's the sheer energy, fun and delight that power the Minions films and this one, in my humble opinion, is the best of the bunch. I've not laughed this much at a kid's animated film in years, maybe decades and as a cinema and film lover this utterly delighted me!

A resounding, glorious, heart-felt 9/10!   

#63: THE INVITE

 

STARRING: Olivia Wilde, Seth Rogen, Penelope Cruz and Edward Norton. Written by Will McCormack and Rashida Jones. Based The People Upstairs by Cesc Gay. Directed by Olivia Wilde. Musice Devonte Hynes. Cinematography Adam Newport-Berra. Running time 107 minutes.

This has been a good year for relationship comedy/dramas what with the utterly superb Splitsville and the divisive The Drama before it, meaning that The Invite has a lot to live up to and it's a delight to report this delivers in spades, despite having the overbearing presence of Seth Rogen to mug and snort through the whole thing. I really don't like his schtick and his mock nasal laugh really gets my goat. 

Anyway, the plot sees Joe (Seth Rogen) as a miserable failed popstar with a bad back now teaching music in a third-rate college while his wife Angela (Olivia Wilde) fills her life buying expensive rugs and ornaments for the spacious double sized San Franscisco flat, while caring for their young daughter. Their marriage is in the doldrums and they spend their time bickering and sniping at each other over anything and everything, they no longer have sex and seem to put all their energy into staying miserable, or at least he does. When Joe comes home after work one night he's mortified to find out Angela has invited their neighbours over for the evening. Joe is mightly pissed and makes no bones about his displeasure when said neighbours, Pína (Penelope Cruz) and Hawk (Edward Norton) arrive bang on time. Pína and Hawk everything Joe and Angela aren't, they're vibrant, vital and supremely confident. He's an ex-fire captain and she's a psychologist and sex therapist and they easily dominate their hosts. As the evening progresses, the four connect and when at last Joe and Angela are relaxed Hawk and Pína reveal their hidden secret and agenda, they're swingers and invite Joe and Angela to join them in a foursome. Then the fireworks really begin and one couple are forced to accept the truth of their relationship.

Beautifully acted, this in turns makes you squirm in discomfort, laugh-out-loud, and ponder the sadness that lurks beneath the surface. Thanks to four actors of this calibre, the film brilliantly soars, they aren't cliches or cyphers, these are real characters with real back stories and story arcs and the power struggle between them ebb and flows. This isn't a film with a huge twist in it's conclusion, just a sense of perhaps of hope. 

With a superb soundtrack and some excellent cinematography, this is a damn good looking film. And for me the icing on the cake was the use of demo tape of I'll Light The Fire, one of my favourite songs, over the closing credits. 

A very enjoyable, very adult, and very sophisticated comedy drama, this gets a very satisfied 9/10

#62: JACKASS: BEST AND LAST

Starring: Johnny Knoxville, Steve-O, Chris Pontius, Dave England, Wee Man, Danger Ehren, Preston Lacy, Sean ‘Poopies’ McInerney, Zach Holmes, Jasper Dolphin, Rachel Wolfson, Eric Manaka, and Compston ‘Dark Shark’ Wilson. Written by Andrew Weinberg, Colton Dunn, Derrick Beckes, Eric Andre, Knate Gwaltney, Nick Kreiss, Sarah Shermona, Johnny Knoxville, Jeff Tremaine and Spike Jonze. Directed by Jeff Tremaine.  Budget $10 million. Running time: 96 minutes.

Apparently the last in the series, and judging by their ages, it's perhaps not a bad thing, apart from Chris Pontius who clearly has a hideous portrait in his attic the rest of the original cast are beginning to look their years. This is a mix of talking head interviews as the cast reveal important moments in the Jackass history along with vintage, unseen and new material from a still game, if not slower, bunch of menboys who are still willing to get the asses, dicks, bumholes and bodies beaten, kicked, punched, electrocuted and doused in human excrement all in the name of amusement. There's a genuine sense of connection between them all which is infectious and charming and Johnny Knoxville's affable manner is a delight.  

If you didn't laugh at the last four Jackass films it's highly unlikely you're going to find this outing funny, however I did, even if this outing did rely on far more scatalogical matter that I wanted. I had to look away for fear of vomiting. 

A great send off for a brilliantly funny comedy franchise.

8/10 

#61: EDGE OF TOMORROW

 

Starring Tom Cruise, Emily Blunt and Bill Paxton, Brendan Gleeson. Screenplay by Christopher McQuarrie, Jez Butterworth and John-Henry Butterworth. Based on All You Need is Kill by Hiroshi Sakurazaka. Cinematography by Dion Beebe. Directed by Doug Liman. Budget $178 million. Worldwide Box office take: $381 million. Originally released in 2014. Running time: 113 minutes.

12 years later...

I saw this twice back in 2014 and then at least four times since then. It blew me away then and my only major criticism was the title. Oh, if only they'd use the tagline. But that's beside the point. What's the plot Mr. Leach?

The world has been invaded by a mysterious alien threat called Mimics and is slowly losing the war. In a last ditch, desperate fight back, Earth launches a huge counterstrike on the beaches of France and American PR expert, Major John Cage (played by Tom Cruise) is an ex-ad man and professional coward is press-ganged into the big assault, only to die, horribly, minutes after landing on the beach, doused in the steaming blood of one of the terrifying, lighting-fast, multi-tentacled beasties, which he kills with a claymore mine, but then he awakens on the morning of the day before and finds himself reliving the same day again, each time he dies - reliving the day before, slowly he begins to avoid his deaths as he learns the times and starts to solve the mystery of what's happened to him and how to defeat the aliens. Along the way he encounters  Sergeant Rita Vrataski (Emily Blunt) who was also once doused in the blood of a Mimic and relived the same day until she lost the ability, together they fight they way off the beach and towards Paris in search of the Mimic's hidden home-base, codenamed 'Omega' and the means of ending the war.

Back then I described this as 'The most interesting and original summer blockbuster [of the year].' And I stand by that, infact I'd say it's still one of the most original and interesting science fiction films I've seen.  

It's got a superb cast, with note-perfect performances from Cruise, as the cowardly John Cage and Emily Blunt as the 'Iron Arch of Verdun', for once a truly believable kick-ass female warrior, who schools Cage in the art of bloody warfare. Limen directs the massive chaotic film with great skill, and from a script co-written by Christopher McQuarrie, who would go on to collaborate with Cruise on the Mission Impossible films. The special effects are superb, as is the cinematogaphy and music. There's no other way of saying it, but Edge of Tomorrow is a hell of a movie.

Sure, it's a mash up of Groundhog Day meets Starship Troopers meets Saving Private Ryan but it's one of those rare films that once it gets its claws into you it doesn't let up. I completely forgot I was in a cinema so engrossed did I become. The opening battle scene on the beach is visceral, noisy, chaotic and exhilarating and forms the backbone of the film. Doug Liman also manages to seed the film with some much needed gallow humours.

Despite the fact the film deals with a character reliving the same day over and over again, it never becomes repetitive and Liman does a superb job keeping this engrossing and involving throughout its entire running time.

Blunt and Cruise work extremely well together and their unique relationship is what lies at the centre of this film, Cruise excels in his role and give one of his strongest performances in ages.

This is Cruise's fourth science fiction film and arguably his best so far.

9/10

2026 VERDICT.

12 years later and this still thrills and excites in equal measure. A totally satisfying film and well worth a repeat view. 

9/10