#14 GOLD

Starring Matthew McConaughey, Edgar Ramirez, Bryce Dallas Howard, Corey Stoll, Toby Kebbell, Craig T. Nelson and Bruce Greenwood. Written by Patrick Massett and John Zinman. Directed by Stephen Gaghan. Running time 121 minutes. Budget unknown. Certificate 15.

Based on the Bre-X scandal of the 1990s, this film follows prospector Kenny Welles, a man once riding high, now running his mining company out of a bar. Following a dream where he finds gold in the rain forests of Indonesia, Kenny (Matthew McConaughey) pawns the last few things of value he has and jets off to convince visionary geologist, Michael Acosta (Edgar Ramirez) to help him find the gold he dreamed of. When the pair strike it big the film follows their rollercoaster rise to fame and fortune, while their inevitable fall lurks in the shadows like a foul fart in an elevator.

Matthew is an impressive actor and I've always liked him and his GIGANTIC, HUGE, MASSIVE SQUARE HEAD but alas the fact that in this new film it fills almost every scene is part of the problem with it. You see normally Matt's head is quite lovely to look at, but in this it's massive, sweaty, topped with a hideous bald spot and blotchy. Plus he spends every second he's on screen sucking on cigarettes and supping huge tumblers filled with whisky, to remind us each and every second that his character, Kenny is a smoker and alcoholic. After awhile it becomes not only jarring but downright distracting. You find yourself wondering how much he's spending on booze and fags. And what he could afford if only he'd stop. But this film isn't about people stopping, it's about excess, it's about greed, it's about little people getting fucked over by corporate American and in that respect it's like Wolf of Wall St., which it so wants to be compared with. Alas this isn't a patch on that far better film.

While McConaughey brings his AAA+++ acting game to the table the other actors try for a naturalistic approach and both schools sort of clash, with McConaughey blasting everyone off the screen with his INTENSE method school approach and it's frankly exhausting to watch, it's just relentless, overwhelming and just too damn much.

That coupled with the story which just isn't really that great, it sort of skims on stuff and finally ends up being a boardroom squabble as super rich buisness men argue and bitch. And it's hard to truly connect with a film where the lead character's only ambition is to be rich. When the inevitable collapse happens and the little investors are robbed of all their savings and we discover that the mining company that Kenny set up has been plundered by his partner and that billions of dollars have been lost there's never any sense that we should feel sorry for the little man, only in Kenny.

The film has one final, rather offensive little sting in its tail which it can only get away with because it's based on truth and not a telling of the true story of Bre-X. When Kenny discovers that his ex partner has absconded with over hundred million dollars he is interviewed by the FBI and found to have nothing to do with what happened and released. The film ends with him reunited with his ex girlfriend, whom he dumped because she didn't want to share in his dreams of greed, and opening up an airmail letter from Acosta containing a check for tens of millions of dollars. The film ends with  Kenny smiling, because he's achieved his goal of striking it rich.

You'll come for McConaughey and stay to count the fags he smokes and the booze he consumes. but sadly this film is all bluster and bullshit, it's like a chocolate coin, wrapped in gold foil, once you've eaten the coin all you're left with is the gold foil, there's no substance, a bit like Kenny and Acosta's gold claim.

6/10

#13 THE LEGO BATMAN MOVIE

Starring the vocal talents of: Will Arnett, Zach Galifianakis, Michael Cera, Rosario Dawson and Ralph Fiennes. Written by Seth Grahame-Smith, Chris McKenna, Erik Sommers, Jared Stern and John Whittington. Directed by Chris McKay.  Budget $TBC million. Running time 104 minutes. Certificate U.

Batman (Will Arnett) thwarts the Joker's (Zach Galifianakis) latest madcap scheme to destroy Gotham City and sets in motion a madcap plot that will ultimately see Gotham City threatened by an army of unbelievable evil with the Crown Prince of Crime at its head. It will also see Batman learn the value of family and teamwork and adopt a young orphan who will grow up to be Robin.

Que a relentlessly silly film filled with some genuinely batty gags, some lovely sight gags (check out the movies on show at the cinema) and some lovely animation and tricks, check out the motes of dust, Will Arnett does a perfect Batman voice and the whole voice cast, especially Ralph Fiennes and Zach Galifianakis are great. There are some lovely sequences which show that the writers have a true love of the titular character and a deep knowledge of his mythology and referencing the entire movie career. The energy of this busy, frenetic and genuinely silly film is infectious -  the highlight being a fantastically funny Batman sung song about how great he is. Yet despite all of this, the film never really matches the same levels of genius as the LEGO movie that inspired it. Sure it's very funny but not brilliant and it feels a little bit generic, particularly since the main theme of it seems to be the idea of Batman learning a valuable life lesson about family and friendship. All that said, it feels a lot more Batman than the last four Batman films.

Finally, for all the comic fans out there this Batman film does something I don't remember seeing before it gives credit to the late, great Bill Finger the original writer and co-creator of Batman along side Bob Kane. It also gives over a long list of cartoonists and writers whose work has helped to inspire this movie.

A very enjoyable animated film that should entertain most kids of a certain age, say 6 - 60, it will be interesting to see if it can match the boxoffice take of the behemoth that was the LEGO Movie.

8/10

#12 TRAINSPOTTING 2

Starring Ewan McGregor, Ewan Bremmer, Jonny Lee Miller, Robert Carlyle and Anjela Nedyalkova. Written by John Hodge, directed by Danny Boyle. Budget $18 million. Running time 117 minutes long. Certificate 18.

It's been 20 years since the first Trainspotting film, which is handy because this belated sequel is set 20 years after the original movie, what an amazing and happy co-incidence. The film follows Ewan McGregor's Mark Renton, who one day with no explanation,  leaves behind his life in Amsterdam to travel back to his childhood home of Edingbourgh. There, determined to make amends for the fact that 20 years earlier he stole £4000 from each of his friends, Mark tries his best to reconcile himself with his old best friends. But life hasn't been as kind to those he left behind. First there's Ewan Bremmer's Spud, still a hopeless smack head, but now estranged from his ex-girlfriend and son, jobless and suicidal. Then there's his old best friend Simon (Jonny Lee Miller) who now runs his dead Aunt's old run-down pub and dreams of turning it into a brothel with his girlfriend, Veronika (Anjela Nedyalkova). And last, but by no means least, there's the still psycho, but far slower, Begbie (Robert Carlyle) who breaks out of prison and tries to reconnect with his wife and grown up son unaware that Mark has returned. The film follows Mark as he tries to re-unite with his old friends, helping Spud to break his drug habit and, after a violent showdown, agreeing to help Simon raise £100,000 to build his massage parlor. Meanwhile, Mark falls for Simon's girlfriend, Spud starts to write stories based on his life and Begbie spirals out of control and fate conspires to bring them altogether for one final brutal showdown...

This is a surprisingly funny film, which despite lacking the savage energy of the original movie is still highly entertaining and enjoyable. Although it's hardly surprising that it's a slower and less frenetic than that first movie, especially since everybody involved is 20 years older, much like it core audience, and indeed that's part of the charm of the film, it's good to meet these characters again after so long. They've all aged, which is strangely satisfying. Spud is well on his way to going bald, so is  Simon and Mark has a heart condition and Begbie has lost that lethal Whippet thinness and become rather stocky. You find yourself wanting to see how their lives have developed, you want Mark and Simon to become friends again, you realise you've missed Spud and you find yourself dreading what will happen when Begbie finally gets his hands on Renton.

Danny Boyle's direction feels a little like he's on auto pilot, as his little tricks and ticks stutter their way through movie, not because it feels organic but because it's his schtick. The songtrack is simply superb and the nods and winks to the original film are almost legion in number and trigger fond memories. However as a movie, this isn't a total success. It builds wonderfully and for the most part feels almost plot-free as it just follows the old friends refinding themselves. But then the plot sort of slides into view and the scene is set for the final showdown and the film sort of loses it's aimless charm. And there's a distinct lack of chemistry between Miller and McGregor, mostly because Miller never loses his angry scowl.

Nevertheless this was an enjoyable and very entertaining film and I can't wait to buy the soundtrack.

8/10

#11 HACKSAW RIDGE

Starring Andrew Garfield, Sam Worthington, Luke Bracey, Teresa Palmer, Hugo Weaving, Rachel Griffiths and Vince Vaughn. Written by Andrew Knight and Robert Schenkkan. Directed by Mel Gibson. Budget $40 million. Running time 139 minutes. 15 Certificate.

The true life story of Desmond Doss, the second World War conscientious objector who whilst refusing to bear arms against his fellow man still enlisted to become a battlefield medic. The film follows his life from young violent boy, the son of a traumatised WWI corporal, who grows up to be a devout Seventh Day Adventist. After enduring a bruising basic training and being court marshaled for disobeying a direct order, Desmond (Andrew Garfield) is given the right to go into battle unarmed. Then it's a cut to the Hacksaw Ridge of the title for a harrowing, brutal, bruising and extremely gory hour of non-stop action and bloodshed, just to show our plucky hero what he's missing. In the ensuing battle Desmond single-handedly rescues 75 of his fellow comrades thus winning the Congressional Medal of Honor. Oops, spoiler alert, but then this is a 'true story'.

Extremely well directed by Mel Gibson, who seems to have finally atoned for his past indiscretions, this movie is as much about faith as it is anything, which coming from a devout Catholic like Gibson is hardly surprising. Although for a film whose hero is a pacifist it certainly doesn't skimp on the action. This is most certainly a film of three acts. The first deals with Doss's life back home in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia and his romance with nurse (Rachel Griffiths). The second act is the training camp, which is perhaps the most entertaining and enjoyable and the third act is the assault on the ridge. Of the three acts, it's the first part which is perhaps the least successful. It's very much a Norman Rockwell rendition of rural America, all good teeth and clean white linen, despite the post-traumatic syndrome and Doss is presented as almost the personification of virtue. Although that said, where as the Bible features heavily and various characters talk about religion this aspect of the story always feels skimmed over and Doss's personal faith or beliefs, apart from the not killing and not eating meat is never really completely explored. It all feels as if Gibson is marking time and setting the groundwork so he can get on with the bit he really likes, the violence and action. And in that department, very much like Braveheart and Apocalypto, he doesn't disappoint.

The acting is good surprisingly from both Vince Vaughn and Sam Worthington and even Garfield, although he still has a face you want to hit. But this isn't a deep and cereberal film, it's a Ronsil movie and does exactly what it says on the tin. It's a harrowing and visceral film enriched by footage at the end of the real Doss and those who knew him including, in one case, a man whose life he saved.

8/10

#10 SPLIT

Starring James McAvoy, Haley Lu Richardson, Jessica Sula, Anna Taylor-Joy and Betty Buckley. Written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan. Budget $9 million. Running time 117 minutes. Certificate 15.

Three girls are abducted by James McAvoy's Dennis and wake up locked in a basement to discover they are all the victims of a man with 23 distinct and separate personalities and told they are to be a gift to a Beast, who is soon to become the 24th member of Dennis' extrememly crowded cranium. What follows is a tight, thriller as the girls lead by outsider, Anna Taylor-Joy try to survive while Dennis comes apart at the seams and his psychiatrist, Betty Buckley tries to unravel and help him.

Don't want to say too much more than this. It's an effective and entertaining thriller that is sadly let down by an ending that doesn't have closure or at least enough of it to satisfy me. Instead it opts for ending, which annoying lays the groundwork of a very unexpected sequel.

James McAvoy is utterly superb in this film and the best moments come between him and Buckley as she explores his damaged psyche and the scenes between him and Anna Taylor-Joy as the brave, resourceful but believable Casey, with her own demons.

This is without doubt Shyamalan's best film in years, indeed I'd say since Unbreakable. But it still doesn't forgive him for The Happening, Last Airbender, Lady in the Lake, The Village or Signs all of which are woeful.

8/10

#9 XXX: THE RETURN OF XANDER CAGE

Starring Vin Diesel, Donnie Yen, Deepika Padukone, Kris Wu, Roby Rose, Rory McCann, Tony Jaa, Nina Dobrev, Toni Collette, Ice Cube and Samuel L. Jackson. Written by F. Scot Frazier and directed by D.J. Caruso. Budget $85 million. Running time 107 minutes. Certificate 12A.

A film utterly beyond parody, a film so aware it's stupid that it decides to not only writ it large but to do so in 50ft neon letters with a great-big, flashing arrow pointing at it in case you miss it. Throwing away the need for a coherent script, a logical plot or even an ounce of intelligence the film opts instead for one ridiculously silly action sequence after another and doing away with proper dialogue by having all of the characters talk in soundbits and quotes.

The story, I can't say plot, sees a Macguffin, that controls satellites and uses them as orbital missiles, stolen by a group of super-extreme sportspeople lead by Donnie Yen (the best thing in the movie) and the efforts of Toni Collette's C.I.A to retrieve it with the aid of 49-year old, 'down with the yoof' action star, Vin Diesel as Xander Cage. Cage, who's been pretending he was dead by hanging out in the Dominican Republic and stealing cable for the drug dealers. He quickly recruits his own crew for the mission, a sniper, Ruby Rose, a man who crashes cars for kicks, Rory McCann and a DJ, for you know laying down bustin' chones. They travel to the Philippines for a party and meet up with Donnie's crew and then sort of bond while fighting a group of covert agents before discovering that the 'what-a-ma-call-it' device is in the possession of someone else. So the gang now race off to face the baddy which ultimately leads to a showdown in a wharehouse between the goodies and a hundred crack, C.I.A assault squad, while Vin fights other baddies, onboard an cargo plane as another satellite falls to Earth.

Oh gosh! Will our heroes save the day, or will the baddies win? I wouldn't dream of spoiling the excitement, however I will say this. If the hundred members of the crack C.I.A assault squad were to fight the same number of Storm Troopers then both sides would run out of ammo long before a single one of the were killed or slightly injured.

I'm not a huge fan of pantos, but I find that if you go in knowing what to expect and prepared to take part you'll have a fun time. The same can be said of this ridiculous nonsense. Nothing makes sense, there are no consequences to any actions and the action is downright stupid. However there comes a point, when the 3rd act starts (don't worry a subtitle card pops up announcing it) the film stops being fun and becomes rather, well boring, it's just one long gun battle with limitless ammo and none of our heroes even troubled by a graze let alone a bruise.

At the end, the baddies are thwarted and the heroes are victorious and the ground work laid for a series, this is clearly Vin Diesel's attempt for a second franchise to rival the Fast and Furious one, which this film has very carefully aped in style and construct. Diesel has surrounded himself with a cast of likeable characters and realised that for xXx to work successfully it has to be as tongue in cheek as its star.

A silly, stupid, action panto that loses momentum once the extreme sport stunts stop and the consequence free shooting starts.

5/10

#8 LA LA LAND

Starring Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling. Written and directed by Damien Chazelle. Budget $30 million. Running time 128 minutes. Certificate 12A.

The all singing, all dancing story of what happens when a middling actress meets a failed jazz musician on the crumbling streets of LA. Cue a handful of unmemorable songs and some so-so dance routines. I so, so wanted to LA-LA-love this film, I've been looking forward to it for ages and went in with a spring in my step and a song in my heart. I left over two hours later with a sense of what could have been, or more importantly what should have been with a cast as charismatic as this, and with a director as good as he is. It's hard to pinpoint exactly why this film didn't click with me, but there's something missing for sure.

Certainly the critics love this and it's sweeping up the awards, but after a weekend that included Manchester By Sea this just feels a little flat in comparison. It never leaps, it never reaches the stars it keeps singing about. None of the dance numbers have any of the gloriousness of the old musicals it so wants to emulate. It starts strong and the story structure starts off interesting enough, telling the story in tandem, from each of the young lover's point of view. But there comes a point where it sort of just putt-putts when is should have zinged!

Maybe the camera should have pulled back a little more, maybe the songs should have been more surreal. I longed for a studio set and found all the locations a little uninspiring, that said we do get one studio set song and dance number and all that does is to reinforce what we're missing and that frustrated me. As always with this sort of tale, boy meets girl, falls in love with girl then loses girl and so it is with this. However, late in the third act when, after a break of five years, our two lover's worlds collide again and all the magic and love we've experienced up till that point totally disappear. It's hard to accept her life choices when opportunity knocked or to accept that she would have just forgotten her old life so completely, but she does. A glimpse of what could have been if only their first meeting had ended with a kiss just sort of reinforces what a missfire the ending of this film is.

All that said, this is still a fun film, but perhaps a little too long. Both leads are terrific, Ryan shines and Emma Stone is the living embodiment of perky and their chemistry sings. But the story ultimately lets this down. I was reminded of the wonderful silent black and white movie The Artist of 2011 that for me perfectly captured the magic of the bygone days.

This should have been a delight but sadly for me it just sort of tripped up.

7/10