#5 BRAD'S STATUS

Starring Ben Stiller, Austin Abrams, Jenna Fischer, Luke Wilson, Michael Sheen and Jermaine Clement. Written and directed by Mike White. Budget n/a. Running time 101 minutes long.

A friend of mine recently urged me to consider that no filmmaker ever sets out to make a bad movie and on consideration I tend to believe this. I know I strive to make the best artifact I can, so perhaps I should accept the notion that every filmmaker sets out with a similar ambition and in the end creates the best thing they can.  So congratulations to Mike White for trying his best! Well done, and remember it’s the taking part that’s important and that everyone is a winner! You’re a star, Mike!

In Ben Stiller’s latest movie – Ben’s Status (which, Mike White not only directed, wrote but also stars in) – Ben plays the Ben of title – a white, middle-aged man, married father of one teenage boy who runs a not-for profit organization that raises funds for charities (ah, what a nice man!). Naturally because this is a middle-aged Ben Stiller movie he’s suffering from a double dose of minor midlife crisis and ‘The Grass is Always Greener” syndrome. Although it should be pointed out that the Ben of the film and the Ben of real life are in no way similar! Ben of the movie is a good five years younger than Ben of real life. And of course this isn’t a fly on the wall documentary but a ‘comedy drama’. So go in expecting comedy and drama, I know I did.

The movie starts with, Ben lying in bed unable to sleep fantasizing about his in-laws dying so he can get his hands on their money. Ben is having trouble sleeping, he’s racked with anxiety and angst. His life has seemingly stalled and he’s frankly jealous that his four college friends have all sold out and go on to have glittering careers while he stuck to his principles and achieved seemingly nothing, except for a house, a loving wife, a career and son. Michael Sheen, on the other hand, is a successful political TV pundit, who lectures at Harvard, is the author of several books and has a powerful wife. Luke Wilson runs his own hedge fund, owns a private jet and is married to a beautiful trophy wife. Mike White is a newly happily-married, internationally renowned, gay architect and Jermaine Clements is a retired dot.com millionaire living on a tropical island with two beautiful 20-year old babes in bikinis. All poor old Ben has is a safe, bland, supportive and stable wife, Jenna Fischer, who’s just happy with her lot.

To make matters worse (I know, how could it get any worse?) his own son, his own flesh and blood, is a gifted musical ‘genius’ looks like he might be going to Harvard, while poor old Ben had to make to with some other piddling 2^nd tier college. Oh boo-hoo, poor old Ben, your privileged, white, first-world-problem life is terrible! Now to make matters worse for sad sac Ben, he has to take his son on a four-day road-trip of colleges he’s thinking of applying to. The journey gets off to a bad start when ‘down on his luck’ Ben can’t decide on which credit card to pay for his $1800 two plane tickets upgrade, although hilariously he and his son, Troy (who the fuck names their son, ‘Troy’? Oh, white middle class, 1^st World Problem suffering assholes, that’s who.) are forced to sit in ‘coach’ when Ben learns his heavily discounted tickets can’t be upgraded. See! This is a comedy.

Then, poor old Ben finds out his Silver loyalty card doesn’t even allow him to jump to the head of the queue for the plane! Jeez, his life is terrible. Oh poor old Ben. (Actually I think that would have been a better title for this film: ‘POOR OLD BEN.’ ) Finally, Ben and Troy get to Harvard only to discover Troy is a day late for his interview. See, and there’s the drama. Luckily Ben’s old friend, Michael Sheen, who he’s not spoken to in years just so happens to lecture at Harvard so Ben rings him up and swings an interview for Troy with the Dean of admissions and also a meeting for Troy with one of his heroes, a Professor at Harvard!

That evening Ben goes out with Troy and Troy’s female friend and her friend. Sad sac Ben horribly tries to impress Troy’s friend and is smitten. Later that night he sneaks out of his and Troy’s shared hotel room to go out for a late night drink with said girl where he spends the whole night telling her what a sad life he’s had and how life’s not fair. To his astonishment, she’s less than impressed and tells him he has 1^st world problems and to, basically man up (although in our household we like to call it ‘VAG’ up). Bewildered poor old Ben visits his old uni and discovers his favourite college lecturer recently died and even worse! (Cos it’s all about him) he wasn’t even invited to the memorial service! Not only that, but his four old best friends were! AND one of them even spoke at the service, despite Ben being the dead tutor’s favourite student! And then to cap it all, as if poor old Ben hasn’t suffered enough, he discovers while having dinner in a fancy restaurant with Sheen that he also wasn’t even invited to the wedding of one of his old friends (the architect if you’re interested). Oh, Ben’s terrible life! However, just when Ben thinks his life couldn’t get any more terrible he discovers, to his delight, that all of his friend’s wonderful lives are actually terrible! Sheen’s got a reputation for being a bit needy and creepy, Luke’s daughter needs spine surgery, is being investigated for fraud and doesn’t even own the jet (or does he?), Mike is too OTT gay and Jermaine is a drug addict and alcoholic and at long last Ben is at last happy! Happy that his friend’s seemingly wonderful lives are actually terrible. And finally good old Ben can sleep!

I do so love a film with a happy ending.

Right, that’s the mother-fucking plot. Sorry if I spoiled the ending, but it’s the journey, that’s important right, not the destination?

So, what of the film?

My mum says, “That if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” And so in light of that I present the words of another friend whom I saw this film with, the wonderful Ali who had this to say about the film: “It had a narrative arc and the film making was professional – it featured some good performances.” I think we can all agree she nailed it with that single line. Thanks Ali!

I on the other hand found it inane, pretentious and painfully superficial. In short a typical Ben Stiller ego-wank-fest, and yet another example of his apparent obsession with exploring that rarely tapped vein of white, middle-class-in-crisis, middle-aged, over-privileged male angst. It’s also one of the biggest dollops of self-indulgent, twaddle I’ve seen in a very long time. And that’s thanks to the script by Mike White, which is clichéd and hollow. All poor old Stiller did was clog up every scene with his whiny, nasally voice, his bow-legged gait, his stupid jacket and his mopey, hang-dog expression so he can’t take sole responsibility for the failures of this film.

Actually all that said, this is one of those films that ultimately manages to become moderately funny cos it’s so bad, but not in a good way. And the final scene had almost the whole of the practically empty auditorium gasp and groan in indignant disbelief! And my wife to cry out, "you're kidding! That's it?"

Seriously give it a miss and go and see Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri instead, it’s fantastic!

3/10 for the efforts of the rest of the cast and some nice scenery.

P.S. Just in case you're worrying I realise this film is actually called Brad’s Status.