X-MEN DARK PHOENIX

Starring Sophie Turner, James McAvoy, Michael Fassbinder, Jennifer Lawrence, Nicholas Hoult and Jessica Chastain. Written and directed by Simon Kinberg. 114 minutes long. Budget $200 million.

Another week, another dull super blockbuster.

This one sees Jean Grey become imbued with the spark of the universe transforming her into the Dark Phoenix, although at no point in the film is she ever called that. Obvs cos she can't control her powers, she kills one much loved member of the X-Men sparking a man hunt, or should that be mutant hunt with both sides of the divide, Prof X, Cyclops, Storm and Nightcrawler (although he's never called that) on one side and Magneto, Hank Marvin and a couple other no-named mutants on the other, oh and a race of alien beings who take the form of humans for no discernible reason who also want Grey. So, one side want to help her, one side want to kill her and one side want her to cater their son's 8th birthday party. Only one will succeed.

After that there's a couple of rather dreary battles, lots of earnest mutterings in EXTREME CLOSE UP, lots of angst before the obligatory final punch up and showdown.

The effects are middling in the extreme, particularly the very bad arial view of the Winchester School for Gifted Mutants.

This has been a mixed franchise. The first two movies were great. The third was dreadful infact that also had Phoenix, the fourth even worse, perhaps the worst of the whole series. Then there was a gap and the X-men blasted back with the excellent First Class, (i might have deliberately blocked a couple of films there) then dropped the pooch for the one with Apocalypse, before nailing it with Logan and now fumbling the ball at the goal line for this full stop to the whole sorry mess of a thing.

My interest in this film started well, but slowly waned and by the time the characters have moped up to their first fight and then Grey had whinged off to mope about with Magento my enthusiasm finally, withered on the vine and died, its tortured breathe slowly escaping from its gaping maw in utter disinterest, "Don't bother saving me," it whispered, "I'm far happier dead."

Too much wrong to be arsed to name it all. There's one funny bit and it's right at the end. But I'm fairly sure that if you look very closely you can see Alfred, Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle at two of the other tables.

4/10