Sunday, 29 March 2026

#31: THEY WILL KILL YOU

 


STARRING: Zazie Beetz, Myha'la, Paterson Joseph, Tom Felton, Heather Graham and Patricia Arquette. Written by Kirill Sokolov and Alex Litvak. Directed by Kirill Sokolov. Budget $20 million. Running time 94 minutes.

The start of a new franchise or a one-and-done, time and box office will tell. 

I'm finding this one hard to synopses, not because the plot is labyrinthian, but because I want to talk about it and the plot is almost secondary to the visual in this kinetic, frenzied, blood-soaked rampage pic of mayhem.

It's part of this horror genre, known as a 'Survival Thriller', which traditionally features a lone character, in modern times, usually a girl trapped in a house  hunted by an army of enemies which seemed have become a fan-favourite genre again thanks to 2009's Ready or Not, but which stretches right back to one of my favourite films, 1932's The Most Dangerous Game. Nowadays, the villains are usually satanic cults, which I suppose make these films supernatural, although in the memorable The Hunt (2020)  the enemy turned out to be super-rich liberals. ANYWAY, stop waffling, Leach what of this?

Well the story sees ex-convict Asia Reaves (Zarie Beetz) land a job as maid in The Virgil, a mysterious, exclusive high-rise apartment block in downtown New york. There she's greeted by Lilith Woodhouse (Patricia Arquette) the Irish superintendent and introduced to some of the inhabitants, a seemingly friendly woman called Sharon (Heather Graham) and a very friendly elderly couple. She meets the other maids, who all greet her cheerfully and then she's taken to her room, a lovely well appointed bedroom and off to bed she goes. Then in the middle of the night she's attacked by a group of hooded people who sneak into her room through a secret door with a view to killing her, and things go fucking apeshit when she fights back with an arsenal of weapons that she's smuggled in. You see, Asia isn't a simple maid, she's a ex-convict who's come looking for the little sister she's not seen in 10 years whom she knows is being held in The Virgil. However, it seems in The Virgil, you can't keep a bad man down, even when he's dead.  

This film takes the 10 minute plot rule literally and sure as shit, come that mark our Asia is ankle deep in blood and guts and she's off and running! Turns out The Virgil is controlled by Satan himself and the inhabitants are all immortal, but only if they pay the yearly blood debt to keep on living. From then on this is a mad paced, frenetic blood-soaked orgy of gore, violence and humour. We get cutaways to  the main characters each with their own title card and the back stories help set the scene. 

Image a film made by Quentin Tarantino and Sam Raimi, with its foot glued to the pedal, the camera work is fantastic, insane Raimi zooms and Tarantino sensibilities in the dialogue and attitudes, it starts out fantastically fast and funny. The humour feels very Raimi and a prolonged chase through and under the floors of the Virgil are hilarious, and gory beyond belief. 

If only this film could have kept the sheer energy of that opening attack it would be a stone cold classic 10/10, but alas it can't, and while it's insanely game, it all becomes a tad samey by the end. But boy, what an end, shame Ready or Not 2 covered similar material, but you know the old Hollywood rule. You wait decades for a devil worshipping cult of immortals who need a human sacrifice to continue living and two come along in the same week!

This wins thanks to a superbly game cast that includes Tom Felton, Paterson Joseph, Heather Graham, Patricia Arquette and the absolutely furious Zazie Beetz who totally rules as the 'final girl' heroine, boy can she kick, hack, slash and massacre like a bitch! There's also, some downright superb practical effects, seriously the final showdown with a pig headed demon is downright jaw dropping.  

This is a funny, gory and mercifully short, sad it's just a tad samey. 

7/10.

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