MONSTER HUNTER
Written and directed by Paul W.S Anderson and starring Milla Jovovich, Tony Jaa and Ron Pearlman with a running time of 1hr and 44 minutes.
Based on a video game, this feels less like an actual film and more as if the movie has just taken all the cut scenes and stuck them together into one film.
I wouldn't be surprised to learn that the script was written on the back of a postage stamp. The story sees kick-ass marine Milla drop through a worm hole into a strange Dune like world that's infested with monsters. She quickly gets her whole crew killed by a sand monster, before she teams up with some random bloke (Tony Jaa) and starts killing a bunch of monsters before the final boss level fight and a hateful sequel baiting ending.
That's it. In between disgusting gore filled sequences (I can't believe this is only a 12a) Jovovich has some fights, I'm not entirely sure cos the cutting and shaky cam were so excessive you couldn't work out what the hell was going on. Each monster she hunts and kills is worst than the last. Tony Jaa speaks no English so our two hero's bond by hitting each other in the face as hard as possible and, not joking, kidnapping and torturing each other. Later Ron Pearlman later turns up speaking perfect English and punches Jovovich unconscious rather than just talking to her.
The film has no logic, no plot, and no reason to watch. I watched it so you don't have to. You're welcome.
All that said, it's not as bad as F&F9.
3/10
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