THE FILMS OF 2021: GODZILLA VERSUS KING KONG

GODZILLA VS KING KONG

So, what's good? Well, it'll come as no surprise it's the special effects and monster slug fests, which are FANTASTIC! Bloody loved it! They're just staggering, when G and K get to it, the film is spectacular.

However, the human bits, particularly the stuff with the Bernie the Blogger and Maggie the daughter of the scientist in the last movie are just ghastly and made little or no sense, things happen to propel the plot and don't dare stop to say, 'hang on a minute', cos it won't do you any good, no one is listening and frankly no one cares!

There are 10 human characters, some have names, but most don't, or if they did I don't remember, who cares, they're just filler or canon fodder waiting to be pulped. The bits with the little deaf girl, who communicates with Kong through sign language was lovely and reminded me of the relationship between the Cosmo Twins and Mothra in the original Godzilla films. All the bits with Rebecca Hall (I don't remember her character's name, did she have one?) and the one who played Tarzan in that awful Tarzan film were utterly pointless and added nothing to the story except to get poor old Kong from one location to the next and supply some meaningless exposition.

On future viewing I won't bother with most of these human segments, they added absolutely zero to the proceedings.

Now, I made the mistake of complaining about all the plot holes in Godzilla: King of the Monsters so I won't make the same mistake here. Although I should say that I hated that last movie, watched it twice at the cinema and once at home. It's unwatchable, believe me I've tried.

This one though reminded me of the 1960 Toho Godzilla films, it has the same sense of fun about it, it also has huge time jumps so you don't have to watch boring stuff. The characters were also very reminiscent of those classic Japanese movies, stupidly good looking scientists, hyper intelligent kids, moustache twisting villains. Likewise, except for two characters who return, the girl Maggie and her father there is no mention of other characters, no Charles Dance, no John Goodman, no Loki or Brie Larson. Who cares about them? This is a new film in the series, we don't need to mention them, just like the Toho movies – new movie, same old Godzilla and agency to defeat him, everyone else, new.

However, most importantly, most FANTASTICALLY important every, except one, fight takes place in brilliant daylight, none of that stupid rain and night-time crap here. And this is where it most reminded me of my beloved Toho movies, the fights in those are all done in wonderful, brilliant blue daylight. And the one which isn't is done in Neon, which is fab!

I gasped at the fights, I loved the first appearance of The Big G, and that first fight between G and K was glorious. And that end fight - OH - MY - GOD! I Just wish it could have gone on for longer.

There is also one extremely funny scene where the scientist from the last one gets on a plane to travel to Hong Kong, where Godzilla is heading. Later he arrives at the location in a taxi, Hong Kong is reeling from an attack, he steps out of the taxi, and walks backwards, mouth agape at the carnage, into a command tent and stops in front of a monitor showing the same devastation as an aide updates him on the situation. Best non monster moment in the movie.

My biggest regret, not getting to see this on the big screen where I'm sure i would have been rendered speechless and probably catatonic by the sheer scale and spectacle.

Now, don't get me wrong, this movie is sheer guff, unapologetic guff, it's stupid, mindless, and ridiculously and stupidly fun. It's so opposite the notion of high brow as to have burrowed through the centre of the Earth to the other side of the world. And then climbed a ladder.

Shame about the human half of this film, but the reason we're all here is for the monster half, which is pure and unadulterated, gleeful fun with a capital FUN! 10/10.